TITLE: "Normal again" (6/8?) part 1

(Because of length, cut in two parts.)

AUTHOR: Richard Bachman

EMAIL: bachman_rchard@hotmail.com

SITE: nope

FEEDBACK: Give it to me luv, you know you want more of this!

DISTRIBUTION: Do whatever you like poodle. As long as Richard is mentioned I'm fine.

RATING: NC-17 Humor/angst

PAIRING: B/S

SUMMARY: Got this wonderful idea after watching normal again. Instead of Buffy, Spike gets a dose of demonic goodness inserted into his system. As his consciousness is transported to an AU where he finds Sunnydale is no longer the good old Sunnyhell he despises and knows so well, things are getting a bit surreal for the poor bleached wonder.

WARNING: This fic describes scenes of rape, and is dark and angsty, but I suppose that we kinda got used to it after watching whole bleedin S6.

THANKS: To anyone for reading my senseless dribble. Love you guys. You truly make wasting my weekends worthwhile!

SPECIAL THANKS: Goes once again to Olga, my beta reader.

CHARACTERS: Spike is knee deep in the AU thing. He discovers the benefits of team spirit and having the clearly wealthy poof as a brother, and also finds out that sunlight does indeed make him freckle (a bit).



ACT 6: The harsh light of day does not keep me restrained in darkness any longer.



SCENE 1

I closed my eyes and opened them again. Then I cocked my head, slowly, turning it towards the artificial light provided by the small bulb dangling above the mirror. I figured that if I looked cross-eyed enough, I could just pick up the outline of my face, but the effort made me dizzy. I shook my head and repositioned myself, gazing up at the strangely familiar young man with messy brown locks and funny cheekbones, who was staring right back at me, a confused look in his fiery blue eyes, a dark brow raised up warily.

" Is it weird?"

The Slayer's image appeared behind my reflection. I caught myself studying it intensely, checking if hers was looking as strange as mine. You know, some minor detail that got messed up by the mirror, making her look a tad unreal. A bit fake. But there was none of that. What I saw in the mirror was exactly the same image I would see if I turned around to look at her. Which pretty much meant that I shouldn't doubt the genuineness of my own reflection either.

" I can imagine how you feel. Five years is a hell of a long time to lose. "

" Oh, I think I have lost far more than that." I laughed bitterly. "To be honest, I can hardly recognise that wanker staring back at me right now. It- It feels like it had been ages. Bloody centuries."

"Now, that's just the hallucinating and slightly depressed William talking." She ran her fingers through the mess of my hair.

I averted my eyes from my image. Couldn't stand looking at it right now. That wasn't me. I remembered that Angelus was the first to tell me that we vampires didn't age. We would stay exactly the same as we did on the day that we were made, forever young or forever old, forever raving mad or maddening sane. Me and Dru got used to dressing up without using a mirror pretty quick, though she tended to make me look like a bloody poof if I let her have her way with my hair. The strangeness of seeing that empty spot in the mirror had also worn off after decades, and we ended up even avoiding places where our reflections, or rather the lack of them, could be noticed, partly b'cause we were not too keen on letting our leggy meals know that we were vamps. But all this time, I had this mental image of myself tucked up safely in my mind, of how I would look like to Dru, to Angelus, and finally, to the Slayer. That image was never the same. It changed and it aged, because I felt that I did. I guess deep in my dead non beating heart I just couldn't believe that I was still the uncertain looking wuss with the words " love's bitch" tattooed on the forehead, who liked to write bloody awful poetry and harassed his object of affection with his presence till she was pushed to flee in full frenetic horror.

Seeing the little wanker again after this long time was sure a bit of a bloody disappointment.

" I wager this is supposed to be part of my therapy then? Shove the mental- vamp-patient in front of a large mirror, see if he freaks out again when he finds out that he does have a reflection?" I asked, voice sounding unintentionally angry and sarcastic.

" I just, I thought that you would like to take a look at yourself." She said, uncertain how to react to my sudden hostility, but soon composing herself. " And no, this isn't part of the therapy. We have more sophisticated methods to convince you."

"Like what?" I turned around, cocky smile on my lips. " Shock treatment? Forced cold and hot holy water baths? Or a bloody crucifixion, because you know, that kinda works twice as effective for the likes of me. You get the bleeding and the burning, all at the same time."

I looked at the expression on her face and got even more convinced that whatever daft reality I got myself into, the Buffy that stood in front of me was as real as my new bleedin heartbeat. That grossed out and annoyed look that she gave me was one of a kind.

" What? Eww, no! Where do you get your weird and totally wrong sense of humour from, by watching Elmstreet before bedtime? I was just talking about plain and normal group therapy here."

Puzzled and perhaps a bit in fear, not liking the sound of the word "group" in particular, I gazed at her.

"Group therapy? What do you mean by that?"



SCENE 2

It was in a bright, cheery room on the second floor of what I now had become to think as the Professor Rupert's Institute for heavily screwed wankers. I immediately got the wiggins when I first entered the room and laid my eyes on the walls. Some balmy interior designer had gotten the brilliant idea to paint the soddin room full with cute little Disney animals. Although the whole thing was incredibly badly done, I still could clearly distinguish a wide-eyed Bambi prancing around with his happy mates, with the giant brown ankles wearing stain on the wall left probably Bambi's dad. Rotten little woodland creatures dancing in a surreal landscape with soft rolling hills, so violently green that it hurt my bleedin eyes.

And then there were also pink and baby blue flowers painted everywhere like soddin sweet canes in an overly decorated Christmas tree.

"You got to be kiddin me." I said, panting below my breath and starting to feel a bit nauseous again. Suddenly, I got the overwhelming need to leg it before the blond and pushy one came in and introduced me to this new form of medieval torture. I swirled around on my heels, ready to make a run for it, and bumped into a very familiar mount of wrinkles and loose skin.

"Oh, Hello there! You must be William, right?"

I gazed up, baffled, and found myself staring into the face of my kitten poker-cheating chum.

"C-Clem? What the bloody hell are you doing here?"

"Um, excuse me." The demon stumbled, as confused as I was. "But, um, have we met before?"

"Well, you seem to bloody well know me! Seriously Clem, what are you here for and why are you calling me William, just like the rest of these hallucinated wankers? I thought we have agreed for you not to appear in my dreams anymore. With all that sexual tension between me and the Slayer flying around, it just doesn't seem such a good idea for you to hang around in my soddin wet dreams."

Clem backed up, visibly worried.

"Eh, look pal, I think you're confusing me with someone else. I just happened to know your name b'cause Doctor Summers told us that there would be a new guy joining the group this morning. I've never seen you before in my entire life."

I blinked my eyes in absolute stupid disbelieve.

"Oh. Right then, should have guessed this right away. Everybody I know has been given bleedin cameo parts in this daft head-trip of mine. So, um, you're supposed to be what, a fellow nutcase?"

"I'm a patient here, just like you, if that is that is what you're trying to say. " He showed me that stupid grin of his, attempting to be friendly. "I'm Glen Murray. Pleased to meet someone new aboard." He offered me his hand, which I didn't take. I was just too bloody baffled for the moment.

"Yeah. Actually, it is really good to meet another demon in this human infested hell hole." I cocked my head and kept staring at Clem, making my old mate seem even more uncomfortable. An encouraging thought struck me there and I started musing out loud. "I mean, if you're here and as real as a demon can be, then it must mean that I'm still myself too. Hey! I'm not William the whimpering Schizo but Spike the bloody evil vampire!"

"Why are you calling me a demon?" Clem's floppy go-happy features vanished, which, in turn, wiped the content grin from my face. "I'm not a demon. Just that I-I happened to look like – look like…"

" Look like what? An overgrown bald albino rabbit with loose skin and very sharp teeth?"

I joked hopefully, but he didn't take it as well as I expected.

"I don't look like a b-bald wrinkled rabbit! I'm not a monster, I am a man! Doctor Summers told me so. And I shouldn't listen to what others have to say about me b'cause they are just shallow, and I surely don't have to listen to your insecure crap, William!"

With that said, Clem pushed me aside and walked angrily into the room, leaving me standing near the door with an incredulous expression plastered all over my face. Outside, from the corridor, came the noises of a crowd heading our way, with the cheery chirpy voice of the Slayer sounding above them all.

"Ah, you found the place on your own, very good. Now let's get inside, shall we?"

Before I could as much as utter an excuse to get me out of this nightmare, I was swept up by a colourful company of patients, all looking rather a tad too odd to be humans, and got pushed into a chair by Buffy Nightingale.

When the others finally got their asses planted on their seats, I found myself a reluctant part of a wide circle formed by six patients and one not totally qualified psychiatrist. Everyone was chatting like a bunch of cloaking chickens except for Clem, who was eyeing at me from the other side of the room with an incredibly hurt expression on his face, which I desperately tried to ignore. I started to think that this whole group therapy thing was about as interesting as one of Dru's fancy tea parties with miss Edith and company when the Slayer, always fancying herself the leader, stood up and clapped her hands.

"OK guys, we gonna start now. Today I would like to introduce someone new into the group. William?"

I glared up at her sullenly.

"Can you stand up, let the guys here take a good look at you?"

"Do I have to?"

The Slayer's features twisted from cheery and friendly to demandingly pushy within a sec.

"Yes, you have to. Now be nice and get your ass of that chair."

"Fine, if I must." I sighed.

I jumped out of my chair, stretched my arms above my head and swirled around in front of my audience a couple of times. Then I turned back to her.

"So here I am, prancing around demeaningly like a cheap piece of meat for everybody here to go googly eyes on. Are you satisfied now?"

"William, shut up. And yes, it does make me feel all powerful and good about myself. Now, everybody, this is mister William Byron. He will be joining us with the group sessions, starting from today. William, these are you fellow group members. This is Marc Noxon."

A slim built demon with pale blue skin and curved horns growing out of his head gave me a friendly pleased-to-meet-you cheer.

"Steward Burns."

A red skinned demon covered in scales waved me hello.

"James Contner"

Shabby looking Fearall demon came up to me and shook my hand enthusiastically.

"Glen Murray."

Clem just gave me a slight nod to affirm his hostile attitude towards me.

"And this is David Salomon."

600 pound Chirago demon wearing a dress and a purple wig raised his hand and waved like a nonche at me, then accompanied the gesture by an overfriendly grin and fluttering eyelashes.

"Guys, William has been away for quite a long while and is not used to having so many people around. So be gentle with him, okay? Don't ask too many questions or push him too much on this first session."

"You can count on us for that, Doctor Summers." The poof of a Chirago demon answered and turned toward me. "You can relax, William. We all went through this awkward phase when we were taking our first hesitating steps towards full recovery. I'm sure the guys here are as keen to help and support you as I am."

I swallowed a hard lump that got stuck in my throat and just kept gazing at this talking wig wearing nightmare, ready to start screaming for all that my sanity was still worth in this crackers reality.

" Yes, that's very thoughtful of you Dave. I think William will appreciate this." She eyed at me warily as she probably observed the gob-smacked phase that I was in.

I almost jumped right out of my chair as the ugly tosser grabbed my hand and gave it a little comforting squeeze.

"You have such a brave spirit, my dear boy! Doctor Summers have told us all about you before your official introduction, and I must say that I have nothing but the deepest respect for you. Such a terrible car accident! And you slipping into a coma, only to wake up in that awful catatonic state… Seriously, I have friends at section 12 that never snapped out of that one, I tell you. They have been sitting in the same corner of their rooms over decades gathering mould and dust! But you. You found a way to fight it and now you 're back again!"

He leaned forward, his huge, beefy arms opened wide, ready to grab me and hug me to death.

"Everybody! Give a loud cheer for William here! The darling boy deserves it!"

I got ambushed by the cheap Pricilla Queen of the desert imitation and found out that breathing with my face buried in a demon's wobbly bosom was hardly if not completely not possible. Trying to push away the large mount of soft, all engulfing flesh and failing miserably, I let out an anxious cry for help, which got muffled in the big heap till it wasn't more than a soft whimper.

Bloody hell.

Outside of my dark and dank prison, a loud crazy cheer burst out in the room, and somewhere on my left, I could clearly hear the Slayer starting to panic.

"Em, okay Dave. I think maybe William would like to breathe now."

The arms that locked me into my highly deadly position lifted and I backed away from the charming chap, inhaling much-needed oxygen hysterically.

"Oh my." The purple wig bloke squealed. "Sorry, William, sometimes I do underestimate my strength."

"What is all this?" I asked while trying to breathe at the same time. "Why - Why are all these demons here?"

Buffy looked at me as if I had suddenly grown an extra head or something.

"What are you talking about, William, what demons?"

"What demons?!" I couldn't believe my freakin ears. "These demons!" And I waved my hand around, pointing at all of them sitting there, nice and comfy in their chairs. "Why are they all here?"

"William. You're confused. Again. These people do look special, but they are not…"

I straightened my back and inhaled deep. Enough of this freakin puppet show already.

"Look, you can't fool me. Ever since I woke up in this soddin reality you've been telling me that I wasn't real. That there are no such things as vampires and demons and that I was rather comical for making them all up in my head and believing that I was actually one. But, bloody hell, I mean, look at them! How can you expect me to swallow all of your psychological mumbo jumbo if these guys are also around?"

Now they were all looking at me as if I had lost my mind. Buffy attempted to compose herself, and then tried to calm me down at bit.

"Listen William. There is no one here who's a demon or vampire or whatever. And I do realise that perhaps you're still suffering from terrible delusions, but you can't just call everybody a monster because they happen to look different. We are all human beings here, and that's how these people like to be addressed. Like normal human beings."

"Oh really?!" I hissed mockingly and jumped out of my chair like a winded toy. "Are you daft Summers? These are not humans! They're monsters! I mean, take a look at Marc here, ever seen a man growing horns out of his bloody head or having a bad case of very blue skin? And Dave, did you even notice that he was a Chirago demon underneath that ridiculous wig? You were supposed to slay demons like these in order to be righteous, remember? You used to kick their asses, break their limps and massacre them!"

I paused for a moment to gasp in some air, gazing angrily around the room, which had suddenly become very quiet.

"I don't know what is wrong with you pal! But it's really mean of you to say that!"

I froze instantly as I recognized Clem's voice.

"Isn't it enough that people from outside are making fun of us, calling us freaks and monsters all the time? Now you have to toddle in with your perfectly wrinkleless body and fleshy skin tan and start bullying us around too! Do you even realize how deep those ugly words of yours hurt people like us, do you?"

I blinked stupidly, was certainly not expecting this coming.

"Honestly William, that was very inconsiderate of you! And I thought that you were such a nice young man, turns out that you're just as ignorant as all the others." Dave squeaked.

"Doctor Summers should get righteous on your sorry ass!" Yelled the Fearall demon.

"Hey! Don't get pissed on me b'cause I happen to speak the truth here! You blokes are demons! Look at yourself, you daft morons, none of you can even pass for simian, let alone human!"

The faint murmuring of voices became the loud screaming of an angry mob. I backed up cautiously, I've seen these little misunderstandings escalate into heart staking and pitchfork rising type of anger pretty quickly in the past, and my instincts told me that hanging around near such companies was never beneficial for a vamp's health.

"Guys! Don't do this! Calm down!" The Slayer yelled.

"That does it! I'm not taking anymore of that bullshit coming out of you, sonny! I've been dealing with scum like you my whole life, and I'll be a monkey's uncle if I let you get away with this!" Hissing like a stepped on an adder, that scaly Steward bloke headed my way, probably ready to break some bones of mine.

"OK guys! Enough is enough indeed. Sit back down right away. All of you!" The Slayer pushed herself through the cuckoos' crowd and grabbed me by the arm, yanking me out of the room in a hurry.

"Yeah, listen to the nice doctor here and start acting like good mental patients!" I yelled mockingly over my shoulders. "If you don't want to be demons then at least try to qualify for professional basket cases."

"Shut up you!" We were standing in the deserted corridor as she slammed my back against the wall while banging the door shut behind her. Flaring anger was blazing in her steel blue eyes.

I smirked at her.

"That's how I like to see you luv! All violently mad and thirsty for demon blood. The very Slayer I fell for."

"I don't have a clue what you're talking about, but frankly, I pity you if you're that delusional to think that me being angry at you is a good thing."

"Oh, I'm not happy." And my smirk became a huge grin, accompanied by some mad giggling. "I'm absolutely thrilled! And there I thought I've to miss our little midnight dancing lessons with me being stuck here without the Slayer. Turns out Buffy Nightingale is up to the job, and as good as the real thing."

"Stop referring to those crazy fantasies of yours! You're not a vampire! You're just a rude and obnoxious bastard, and you've insulted a lot of people in there who normally wouldn't even hurt a fly, but are now about to thrash you real bad for your stupid ranting. Do you even understand how serious this is?"

"Yeah, well, let them get on with it." I snorted. "Would love a good brawl, could break a couple of bones right now myself."

"Why don't you listen?!"

The Slayer grabbed me by the shoulders and slammed my head back.

"This isn't a joke, William, OK? They are really angry with you right now. Walk back in there, and they will put you back in your favourite dream world before you can even say the word ough." She pushed some dangling locks behind her ear agitatedly. "What's the matter with you, anyway? The guys were only trying to be friendly. Letting you feel more comfortable as the new guy in the group. There was really no need to go totally mean and crazy on them."

"Look, I was just trying to point out the deadly simple facts here that they are bloody de-"

She pushed her hand against my gob.

"I don't want to hear that word coming out of your mouth! They're not demons. They are humans. Just a bunch of plain old ordinary guys who have been judged on their appearances too many times. Do you have any idea how long it has taken me to get their shattered self-esteem built up from scratch again? How can you be so…so inconsiderate of anyone else's feelings? Don't you have a heart?"

I muttered something in her palm, and she released her grip on me.

"Do have a heart here babe, just don't seem to have a soul, though."

I stared at her, expecting more anger coming, perhaps even a sign of disgust for my honesty to admit this to her. She never had been one to be able to embrace the ugly naked truth.

But instead, she traced my cheeks with her soft fingers and looked at me with the deepest pity in her eyes that I have ever received from another human or demon in my entire existence.

"You have a soul, William. I'm sure you have. Don't talk about yourself like this."

"How would you know?" I asked hesitatingly.

"Because you're a man. Not a monster."

My anger slipped away, leaving me empty, like a drained vessel. She kept staring back at me with that angelic face of hers filled with misplaced compassion, and my defence broke down completely.

Averting my eyes, I whispered my answer to her.

"You know, I wish you would have told me this before."



TBC

Part II of 6/8 is coming up next Saturday 15th June 2002: Finally some Spike and Angel interaction and AU Buffy takes the guys out to play in the sun.