DISCLAIMER: All characters in this fic belong to their respective owners. Just borrowing them for a while. '___'
Lyrics featured here is from "Leather" by Tori Amos
WARNING: shounen-ai, lime, hints of sex
Notes: this is a quasi-songfic. I haven't heard the song but I just thought the lyrics goes well with what Youji feels. Read Chapter 1 first. This chapter explains why Youji keeps saying sorry to Ken in Soliloquium. Pls don't post/archive to other sites without permission. Email me first! Comments are appreciated. '__'
By Queen of Pain (queen_of_paine@hotmail.com)
CHAPTER 2:
CHAINED
"Tadaima!"
"Okairi, Youji-kun! You finished early today." I smiled at Omi, his genkiness never failing to infect me.
"Yup, thanks to Ken." My eyes wandered from the boy as I surveyed the room. "Where's Aya?"
"Uh, he's out at the back, I think. Do you want some dinner, Youi-kun? There's still some left on the table."
As if on cue, Ken stepped in the shop, yawning. "I'll pass, Omi. We already had dinner on the way home. Hehe, and Youji paid for it!" He added the last statement with a wink. He walked past us and marched upstairs. His sleepy voice slowly faded, "I'm heading to bed. Ja."
I watched him disappear up the stairs, the events of the day still fresh in my mind.
"Youji-kun, you don't buy me dinner! Hidoi!"
I glanced down at the boy pouting up at me. I scratched my head, thinking of an excuse.
"Anou. . . it just happened. Besides, I had to fill his stomach with something since I made him come with me today." I grinned sheepishly at him. "I'll buy you lunch tomorrow, how's that?" I added, hoping to make compromise.
"Un!" He said with a nod. It seemed to satisfy his curiosity.
"So, are we closing shop?" I asked him while I reached for the nearest broom.
"Hai. Sales are high today so Aya-kun and I decided it's ok to close shop early."
I half-listened to Omi as he continued to chat about other stuff. I just kept sweeping the floor, my mind elsewhere.
"So you up for a drive, Kenken?"
Chocolate brows knit together in confusion.
Dangling car keys in his face.
"Are you sure, Youji? You know that I'm used to driving my bike."
Pointless question. He was already smiling.
Lotus Super 7 is for Kudou's hands only. To hell with that. Shrug.
Keys grabbed from my fingers.
Car door slamming. Engine revving up.
"Omi! Ken and I are gonna do the deliveries! Ittekimasu!"
Jade meets dark brown.
We smile. .
"Ne, Youji-kun, you're happy today." It was more of a statement than a question.
I had been grinning stupidly with my own thoughts I didn't realize Omi had stopped talking. It slipped from my mind that I had to be careful when the boy was around. Omi was always so sensitive to other people's behavior that it seemed so unreal that he was one of us, an assassin—and a merciless one at that.
"Maa, I guess you might say so." I ruffled his capped head in affection.
"Care to share what happened?" Yet again, I was caught between answering the innocence of his question and the blinding truth that if I did, a lot of things were about to change.
"Let's just close shop, ne?" I replied good-naturedly, hoping he wouldn't push further.
"Sure, Youji-kun, whatever you say." He turned back to the cash register as he continued counting sales for the day.
Companionable silence wafted in the shop as I continued sweeping the floor.
Exasperated sigh.
"Youji! When're we gonna eat, huh? You said you're gonna buy me dinner!"
Stomach growling.
"Henki, henki! This one's the last for today, then we could go eat wherever you want!"
"The last one, eh? Yokatta!"
Chuckle.
"Always hungry, baka saru."
"Nani? Baka saru? YOUJI! I'm no ape!"
Brown eyes glinting in irritation.
Chuckle.
"Hai, hai. Whatever you say. But if your appetite's like this all the time Aya's gonna have to beg on the streets if he's to put food in your mouth, ne?"
Silence.
Wrong sentence to blurt out, Youji. Stupid, stupid.
Dark eyes squint in thought. Plunging in sadness.
Resigned sigh. Did it again, Kudou. Kampai.. . .Did it again.
But some things were not meant to be put aside for so long—things you can never avoid.
"We're closing shop now, Aya-kun. They came back early."
I looked up from my task as the person Omi was addressing stepped in from the back door. He caught my eye and I gave a curt nod. The silent invitation went unnoticed by the teenager.
We were always careful. We had always been careful when they were around.
"I'm going upstairs. Finish up closing." Always the one to give orders, Aya turned and was gone as quickly as he came.
I sighed inwardly. Aya's presence was like a dose of cold water. I got too caught up in my own quest for bliss that I forgot there were still other things to take care of. I should have woken up much earlier from this dream I've woven for myself. Now I'm much too deep in this web I don't know if I would be able to get out.
What was I looking for? What was I thinking? That Ken could possibly change me? That he could pull me from this pathetic state of drowning? That he could love me?
"Yokatta. I'm so relieved we're done for today, Youji-kun."
"Yeah, so am I. . . so am I, Omi." I replied under my breath, knowing fully well that my day was far from over.
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I walked across the hall, my bare feet padding silently on the carpeted floor. I took a deep breath and opened the door. I stood unmoving for a moment, waiting for my eyes to adjust to the sudden blackness of the room.
"You're late." Came a curt greeting from the direction of the bed.
"I know." I replied. I locked the door behind me and walked towards the bed. I kept my eyes on him, gazing in marvel as his crimson hair turned black in the silver blanket of moonlight.
He looked up at me, amethyst eyes meeting jade. He reached for my hand and led me to sit down on the bed. I followed his motions like a sick puppy.
"You didn't come last night. Why?" He turned then, so he was in front of me, straddling my legs. It was then that I noticed he was only wearing boxers and nothing else. I wasn't surprised. I stared at him blankly, my whole body unmoving as he slowly leaned his face towards mine. Our breaths mingled together.
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Look I'm standing naked before you
Don't you want more than my sex
I can scream as loud as your last one
But I can't claim innocence
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"I was tired. Can't someone take a rest from your uncontrollable drives once in a while?" I answered with a smirk.
Our lips were barely touching and I can already feel his growing desire. He knew I was lying but personal intrusiveness meant crossing the line.
"Baka," came the reply before he crossed the gap and pressed his lips onto mine. I closed my eyes, letting him direct the flow. I locked my arms around his neck, drawing his body closer. The kiss deepened as he entwined his arms around my torso.
I tangled my fingers in his hair as he pushed his tongue inside my mouth to battle with mine. I let myself lose in the moment, feeling my body drown in physical pleasure.
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I could just pretend that you love me
The night would lose all sense of fear
But why do I need you to love me
When you can't hold what I hold dear
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But my mind was free--drifting off to a place where the silky strands I was touching were brown and not red, where the moment I open my eyes I'll see chocolate and not amethyst, to where I can feel warmth . . . and not compulsion.
My mind was free . . but my soul wasn't.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------to be continued. . .----
*****Arggh!! I hate the way this turned out. Pretty lame for a chapter 2, ne? Blah, I'm not very good in writing lemon scenes, anyway even if a lemon scene IS necessary. Guess, I'll have to make chapter 3 better. **** '__'
