Notes: Thanks for all the reviews! I hope it still applies and you're all still reading after this little title change stunt of mine. I was changing the title to 'Blutiger Tanz' (Thanks to Eike who pointed this out), when I realized that 'Das Schicksal' was much more appropriate for this fic.
P.S.: ~~ It's not the writing that's making me slow. (Already sort of wrote the whole fic a year ago) It's the editing that's being a nightmare. More reviews will help me become quicker though! ^.~
Mission #4: Süßen Gentian
Sweet sweet Sunday. My favorite day of the week, right there with it's pal mister Saterday. Saturday meant freedom, preferably dates, definitely girls and most importantly no work. Sunday meant hopping around doing nothing and getting myself bored. Sadly, Weiß' job didn't seem to stop on any of these holidays. I wanted to label Persia as a slave driver. He had the most wicked sense of timing. Whenever the rest of the world was resting, we got to chase the bad guys. It's true that bad guys don't take any time off either, but they don't work two jobs. That left me determined to try and try to skip as many missions as possible in the weekends. It's easy. Get in the good graces of your employer, make a good excuse and you're off the hook. Not having any missions to begin with helped. Today was my lucky day.
I decided it was time to see more of Tokyo.
The fresh breeze of pineapples greeted me as I entered the park. Sunshine spilled it's endless warmth and light, as the wind cradled the fallen leafs like infants. The pavement was made out of little rocks. They glistened like little diamonds under the light. As you walked more into this miniature forest, you would find a clearing surrounded with sakura trees. It still took a couple of months before the sakura trees would be in full bloom again. Perhaps I should organize a field trip then. The study of sakura trees.
It was amazing how a place so peaceful, so quiet could actually be found in the center of the Asian market. You would think that the good citizens of Tokyo would need to drive at least 50 miles inland to find anywhere remotely like this. Yet, by amazing good fortune or great planning, it was here.
Peace, quiet. No monsters or any serial killers running around too!
Paradise on earth.
Ok, maybe a little exaggerated, but it really looked like something out of a picture. Families were having their picnics here. Couples walking hand in hand, very obviously in love. Children running around playing. And a part-time assassin taking a walk.
A whistle sounded. I looked in the direction of the sound to find a group of kids. They were playing soccer. No frantic yelling parents, trying to cheer their kids on. That's unusual.
It seemed to be a regular training. A young brunette was giving special instructions to one of the players. He was bouncing the ball like an acrobat and doing all kinds of tricks with it. Wow, I didn't know there was so much potentials with a ball.
Judging by the height and the build of that body.
Hey! That's one of my fellow co-workers.
"Hey Ken!" I yelled, while walking closer to him.
He looked up from the ball, eyes all glittering and shining as he recognized me. He sent the boy away and came towards me.
"Konnichiwa Sky! What are you doing here?"
I smiled amused.
"Nothing much. Just trying to score myself a free coffee, I suppose."
"That can be arranged." He smiled brightly. That's Ken, ladies and gentlemen. Mister Smiley.
A few minutes later, we sat down on the slightly wet grass. Wet grass, the last remnants of the storm we had the past weeks. Is it smart running around in wet grass? Most likely not. Why else would those kids do it, right? To do that which is forbidden. The logic of youth.
I took a sip out of my hot cappuccino.
"You play games with these kids, Ken?"
He smiled proudly, when he spoke.
"You bet. We're planning on going for the first tournaments next year though. I really believe in them."
"But don't you think you're wasting your time with these kids. Chances are almost none that any of them would become a pro." I pointed out. That's me. Mister Practical.
"Perhaps. But they need to get a chance." His voice sounded sure.
"Aren't you afraid they'll end up like you?"
He turned his head and looked at me questioning.
"How'd you…" A frown settled on his forehead.
"Telepath, remember?" Actually some stuff about him I read off the file Kritikers had. No need to say that out loud though. The Kritikers didn't exactly hand my team mates files to me and said: here, read it. I sort of 'accidentally' stumbled upon them.
"Oh yeah…"
He remained silent.
"So aren't you afraid, Ken?" I asked again.
His gaze remained on the kids, his voice soft.
"But Sky. Don't you think they should get the chance? If it wasn't for…Kaze, I would have never gotten any chance either. Yes, the soccer world has it's dark side, but it also got a lot of sunny sides. Besides, how big is the chance that someone will make the same mistake like I did?" A lot, I wanted to say. Looking at the brightness almost completely from his eyes now, I felt sorry for him. The hazel eyes were dark and sad. His voice choked a little at the name.
Did he still feel responsible for the things with Kaze? I mean, come on! It was HE who betrayed you, Ken. NOT the other way around.
"Ken…Do you feel …guilt?" I looked at him. Your surface is carefully spread and thick, Ken. But I'm not a telepath for nothing.
He hesitated before he answered. Didn't he know that I really dun have a big mouth, although I do tend to act like otherwise.
"Can't you tell?"
I shrugged. I was trying to not use any of my powers unless I really needed them. Lately, the killer headaches had been bugging me on frequent basis. They were relative to how much I used and how often I used.
"Don't tell anyone, but I'm trying to act human." I whispered.
He laughed. I grinned.
"Don't we all?"
"So about my question…" I trailed off.
He looked serious. The humor had left his eyes without a trace.
"What about you?"
I shook my head. Ask a question and get it thrown back in your face. I guess it was only fair.
"Nop. Me, I don't believe in guilt. You can't eat it and it certainly won't pay your bills." I shrugged again. It was the way how I saw things. I never said I always made sense.
He nodded his head, slowly.
"I can't be like you. I feel guilt. If it weren't for me, Kaze would have never died. It was me who killed my best friend. I killed the man who brought me fame and fortune. I was homeless when Kaze found me. He brought me home, introduced me to his manager, our manager. He MADE me!" His frown seemed to have deepened. His hands were clenched into fists.
"You know what? I keep dreaming about him. How he would be bathed in blood and saying he would wait in hell for me." He seemed to be reliving the images vividly as he talked about it. I didn't really know what to say. He was so disgusted with himself.
"But Ken. He was a human. He was taking you in like any normal person would do who discovers a talent. It was his obligation towards society. You are a human and not his possession. You were not his to use when needed and dumped when it suited him." Hell, I would have taken you in, if I were around. Do you have any idea how good looking you are, Ken? Your sweetness made you an even better bishounen. Did you ever consider the fact that the only reason he took you in was because he had wanted to possess you like a painting? I wanted to say this, but it seemed harsh.
"That's not true…He made me, so he had the right to break me. It was anger and the feeling of betray that made me kill him, Sky! Those feelings blinded my better judgement. I shouldn't have killed him! You don't kill a friend!"
I blinked. Did I finally manage to make him angry?
"Look, Ken. It was self-defense. Any court and judge would have found you innocent, if you ever had to go to trail. I mean, it was the instinct of survival. It was either him or you. And you know what, Ken? YOU do not deserve to die and he does. He tried to kill you THREE times! I would have gotten pissed if he only tried once! Perhaps he had been kind to you in the beginning, but he changed. The world of money consumed him so totally that he would have never flinched one bit to step over hundreds of people. He would have been willing to kill, rape, do whatever necessary. Do you know what divides us from wild animals, Ken? Emotions. When you lose them, you seize to be human. He seized to be human a long time ago, Ken. You and nobody on this earth can be blamed for his death. He is the only one to blame."
I studied his face. He had lowered his head and his bangs were covering his eyes. Great. I feel like a bully now.
" Gomen ne, Ken. I didn't mean to make you feel bad…"
He turned his head to me. I blinked. He looked lost. His voice was a little hoarse and shaky.
"He was my only friend, Sky. He was my only friend! Do you know how it feels to be betrayed by your only friend? Do you?"
I frowned. Did he really want to know the truth?
I answered him with half-truth.
"I haven't been through that and so maybe I don't really have the right to judge. But Ken, you're wrong. Aya, Yohji, Omi. They're your friends. I am your friend too. Those kids are your friends. They all care about you and that makes them your friend. I know what you think, Ken. The answer is no. They don't care about you as their fellow assassin. They are human, some maybe more than others, but still they're all humans. They see a nice guy like you, they like you and they want to be your friend. It is our obligation to be your colleague, but it was never our duty to be your friend. We do that, willingly. So now, stop acting like a whining 90 year old granny and act like Ken, the dude we love."
I smiled encouragingly at him. He blinked at me and then smiled too. So, we two members of Weiss, were sitting there under a tree and smiling at each other like two dumb love sick puppies. Ok, me starting to feel discomfort here.
"Ken onii-chan! Yamcha said that we couldn't play this way, but I think we could. Can you please help us?" A little boy, probably 7 or 8, was looking pleadingly at Ken.
The boy looked at me weirdly. What? Did I grow any third eye or something?
This is discomforting. He's looking DOWN on me. I got up and looked down at him now. Hmmm… Much better.
Ken was standing as well and looked hesitantly at me and then at the boy. He was apparently having a hard time deciding whether to keep me company or get back to his coaching.
"Go. I still need to pick up a few chicks and making someone happy with sex before I hit home. See ya later, Ken." I waved a goodbye and turned to leave.
"See ya, Sky!" He called out.
"Ken onii-chan. What does 'sex' mean? Is it edible?" The boy's voice sounded behind my back.
I snickered. Ken's face must be hot as a poker by now. He managed to say something like.
"Umm….Sex means ehh, you know how babies are like brought along by storks? Sex is ehh…"
"So sex's like baby storks?" The boy helpfully added. Ken sighed desperately.
"Ehhh….kind of. You know, T.K. I think that your folks would be more suitable to explain this to you, somewhere in the far, very far future."
That was the best proof why I would never have kids. I would never be able to explain things like how 'sex' work to them. Besides, they disliked me and the dislike was mutual.
The sun was setting down. It enveloped the buildings and objects with an orange light. Another sunset. I wondered if Ken would finally come to peace with the whole issue. It really was not his fault. If he didn't find a way to deal with it, he would go mad eventually. Eaten alive by guilt. It wouldn't be pretty and I didn't want to see it happen.
No use dragging on the past, I always said. I wondered if there'd be a time when I'd start to follow this advice of mine. Someday probably. Right.
Sometimes I wondered why Ken was always acting so clumsy around us. He never did during the missions. Which was why I started to wonder if his clumsiness was pretense or not. There seemed to be two Hidaka's. One who was this perfect assassin and one who would be clumsy enough to screw up everything that was possible to screw up.
A high childish shriek sounded, quickly followed by the words. "Gomen nasai, Ken nii-chan!!" I caught sight of Ken in the distance, lying down with his face in a pool of mud. Oiy. Well, his clumsiness was definitely not all pretenses. The question remained just how much he did on purpose.
TBC
"When it rains, heaven's angels are crying. It rains 24/7 here. Apparently, here, the angels are all chopping onions."
