I thought I'd give you two chapters tonight - leaving you with Chapter 19 would be too cruel - even for me.. (Smut is coming in the next few chapters - I actually skipped ahead to write it . . .so hang in there and review!)

Go vote at www.spuffyarchives.com.

And special shout out to Lady Anne for helping me beta. And also, WELCOME BACK FLAMES!! I wouldn't have been able to do this fic without her. She's back from Florida and ready to get back into the beta groove.

Enjoy!

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"Could one of you two little ladies be so kind as to fetch Willow for me?" Spike asked the two young girls standing outside Hemory Hills.

The two girls began giggling and whispering to each other. Spike started to grow impatient, and gave them a big toothy grin. "Please?"

"Is Willow your girlfriend?" the shorter girl asked.

"No . . . she is just a friend." The girls began giggling again. 'Here we go,' he thought rolling his eyes.

"How old are you?" The taller girl asked, as she stood up to her full height, now batting her wide eyes at the male counselor.

Spike laughed, "Too old for you lot." The girls pouted at that statement. "Besides, you deserve much better than the likes of me," he added sincerely. "Now can you run along and get Red?"

The girls sighed and made their way into the cabin. The taller of the two made sure that her hips swayed just the way her older sister had showed her back home.

Spike took a seat on the steps, running his conversation with Buffy over and over again in his mind. 'You're an idiot. She may have done something with Angel . . . but did you see her face? The girl was devastated. You took it too far.'

"Oh hey Spike." Willow said as she opened the door to the cabin. "I didn't know who was here . . .my girls just said that there was 'a hottie with dreamy eyes' waiting for me on the steps. I guess that's you sweet cheeks." She sat beside him and patted his knee playfully.

Spike turned to Willow, and asked quietly, "Can we go talk?"

Willow was taken aback by the sadness and pain that filled his usually sparkling blue eyes. "Of course," she said, taking his hand and leading him to a bench around the back of the building.

Spike sat down and put his face in his hands. "Hit me."

"What?" Willow asked, surprised.

"Go ahead, hit me," he said looking up at the redhead.

Willow shook her head with a small smile. "Spike, I'm not going to hit you." His face went back to his hands, and he felt her gently rub his back. "Tell me what happened . . . and you can skip the late-night 'back to nature' activities . . .cause I kinda got all that already," she said jokingly.

"Well . . .there's that-" he paused, and took a deep breath. He sat up, still avoiding Willow's gaze, "-then there's the part where I go insane and tell Buffy that it didn't mean anything. That we both got what we wanted, which is basically, a good shag. And that I never would have bothered putting so much effort into wooing her if I knew how easily she'd . . .um-" he paused momentarily, then added sheepishly, "-I think. . .'spread her sweet thighs'. . .were my exact words."

He turned back to Willow who was frozen staring at him, her face giving nothing away as to what she was thinking. Without warning, her fist pulled back and she popped a right hook right to his nose. "Yeoooowwww . . . woman!" Spike shrieked, grabbing his nose.

Willow stood up and placed her hands on her hips. "You told me to hit you." The pain in her right hand started to kick in and she sat back down, holding it tenderly. "What the fuck is wrong with you!?!"

Spike shook his head, and spoke slowly. "I just lost it. Seeing her with him made me lose control. I wanted to hurt her," he admitted, full of shame. "You do know that what you did is unforgivable, right?" she said sharply, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in her fist.

He nodded and whispered sadly, "I know."

"And you know, that you don't deserve my attention - let alone my HELP - under ANY circumstances now, right? NO EXCEPTIONS!"

Tears filled his eyes again. "I think I love her," he said, voice barely above a whisper.

Willow nodded, and placed her good hand on his shoulder, as he wept. "I know . . .I guess that's the one exception."

He looked up to her, face full of hope. "So, you'll help me? You'll talk to her?"

Willow sighed and stood up, pulling Spike to his feet. "I'll try. But it's not going to be easy. You did an undefendable thing." The young man - who suddenly looked ten years old - bowed his head in shame. Willow lifted his chin to make him look at her, "She's not completely innocent, you know-"

Spike felt his heart constrict. 'So something had happened between her and the poof.'

"-but you still shouldn't have talked to her that way."

Spike gulped, "I know. She just makes me crazy." This girl had gotten to him like no other in his twenty-one years - he couldn't explain it.

Willow laughed, "Yah, she can do that sometimes. Plus - love makes you do the wacky."

Spike chuckled and roughly wiped his tears. "I guess so."

"Now you go get ready for your first soccer class and I'll try to talk to Buffy before lunch. You just stay out of her way until then." Spike nodded and started off towards his cabin. He turned around and pulled Willow in a tight hug. "Thank you," he whispered into her hair.

Giggles sounded behind them, with ooh's and kissing-noises filling the air.

The two turned around to see four or five of the girl campers staring at them, whispering and laughing. Willow playfully pushed Spike away, "Get out of here . . ." grinning, she added, "honey."

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Buffy shuffled into the lunchroom, looking around anxiously. She had successfully avoided Spike so far that day. It really hadn't been that difficult considering she had a crazy class schedule; but lunch was a different story, since they would be forced to sit in the same room.

After crying her eyes out for the thirty minutes prior to her first class, she had decided not to let another asshole get her down. She wasn't going to play the poor, wounded, little-girl-lost role again, like she had with Parker. 'I'm not going to let him see that he got to me - that his words cut deep. No . . .I'm just going to take a seat right at his table, smile pretty, and act like nothing is wrong.' Buffy finally spotted Spike sitting with Conner, Janice and Dawn and pulled up a chair with them. Spike shot up and looked at her, eyes filled with wonder and was that maybe hope? Buffy shrugged it off . . .'Bastard.'

"So, how was everyone's first day of classes?" she asked cheerily.

"Oh my god Buffy you will never believe-" as Dawn started telling Buffy about her day, the older girl couldn't help but get lost in her own thoughts. Even as she watched Dawn intently, she could feel Spike's eyes burning through her. 'He's staring at me. . .Oh my god. . . Why is he staring at me? He knows something is wrong. No. . .He's just waiting for a sign of weakness. Well, the asshole's not going to get one.' Buffy turned and flashed Spike a wide, toothy grin.

Spike was taken aback by Buffy's brilliant smile . 'Maybe Red already talked to her . . .and she understands.' He weakly grinned back and took a moment to look her over. Her green eyes, which usually sparkled, were cold and unfeeling. Her face was drawn tight, the smile strained. She was fidgeting with her hands on the table, alternating squeezing them, and tearing napkins to tiny bits. "Buffy-" he started.

"-who wants food?" Buffy shot up from her seat. "It's 'grilled cheese and tomato soup day' and I'm starving!"

Spike watched as she bounced over to the line with Dawn and Janice hanging on each arm. 'What's going on? She doesn't seem upset, but there's something not right about her.' He stood up and followed the group. Once in line, he witnessed Buffy braiding the hair of one of the very young campers, and giggling with Dawn and Janice. He placed a hand on her shoulder, only to pull back sharply at the look of death he received. The lump that had been in and out of his throat for the last two days, returned again. She stood up and faced him, arms crossed, then suddenly she smiled. . .a REAL smile. Spike relaxed and smiled back. 'We can get through this.' He was pushed out of the way and turned to see Buffy run to Angel, pulling him into a big hug.

"We still on for tonight?" she asked the tall brunette sweetly - not caring who saw them.

"Uh, sure Buff," he said quietly, while nervously looking around him. "11 o'clock okay with you?"

She smiled brightly, "Sounds . . ." and turned to Spike, who looked dejected and heartbroken, as she accentuated the final word, "perfect."

Spike felt his heart drop, and also a sudden pain in his side. He looked to the source.

"So. . .what did you do?" Dawn asked flatly.

Spike looked at the girl and moved his way to the front of the line - ignoring anyone who yelled at him for cutting. He really didn't care that he was setting a bad example for the kids - he needed to get away from Buffy, Angel, Dawn . . .all of them.

Buffy snickered as she watched Spike leave the line. Although, somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that she just perpetuated a cycle of pain that was only going to get worse.

One minute Buffy was standing next to Angel and some campers, the next she was in an empty hallway, facing a very angry redhead. "What do you think you're doing?"

"What?" Buffy answered innocently.

"Whaaaatt?" Willow mocked. "You were all over Angel, in front of campers! You know that's a big No-No!"

"So. . ." the girl responded haughtily.

Willow took a deep breath and started again. "Buffy, we're not supposed to involve the campers in any of our relationships. What were you trying to do? Make Spike jealous?"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Buffy yelled back, and took a breath to calm herself. "I don't care what he thinks . . .I want to be with Angel."

Willow shook her head. 'Spike, you really blew it.' The girl made a decision and decided to say something she had been refraining from for years. She spoke slowly and clearly, not wanting to seem like she was lecturing Buffy or trying to make decisions for her - "I didn't want to tell you this last night because you were so upset. . .but Buffy, I want you to be careful with Angel. I know you're a big girl, and you can figure things out on your own. . .but, he's not a good guy. He's not looking for the same things you are." Buffy bristled at that and tried to speak, only to have Willow place a gentle hand on her arm. "I just don't want to see you get hurt." Buffy softened, and she continued. "If this is because of what Spike-"

Buffy scoffed at that, and didn't let Willow finish. "Right. . .and you're such a good judge of character," she said sarcastically, pulling away from her friend. "I should never have listened to you about Spike -" The blonde laughed at herself, and looked at the ceiling, berating herself. "I had an instinct and I went against it."

"Buffy-" Willow said softly, trying to calm her friend.

A pair of flashing green eyes met a pair of concerned green ones. "You know. . .instead of telling strangers intimate details of my past sexual encounters and going behind my back deciding what is best for me without my prior consent. . .why don't you back off and let me worry about my own love life." At that Buffy turned on her heel and walked back into the cafeteria.

Willow felt her eyes begin to tear. Sure, Buffy could be impossible sometimes, but they hadn't fought in years. The redhead walked to a nearby water fountain and took a long drink. She stood up straight and wiped the wetness from her face. 'Nope. . .you're not making this about me Buffy.' A small smile found its way back to her face. 'I'll give you some time to cool off, but you're not getting off that easily. Maybe I do butt-in a lot, but if I let Buffy make up her mind about EVERYTHING she'd still be wearing hypercolor shirts and neon green tube socks, and crimping her hair.' At that memory, Willow laughed and walked back into the cafeteria - grilled cheese and tomato soup sounded like the perfect remedy for the post-fight blues.