WARNING – This chapter contains strong sexual content (that I haven't edited out yet) – so don't report me to ff.net.  With all the wackiness going on over at Spuffy Archives, I wanted to give my readers another option.

Thanks again to Flames and Lady Anne!

31.  Father Figures

DAY 14 

Buffy splashed water on her face and examined her reflection in the mirror.  Her eyes were puffy from crying, with mascara lines running down her cheeks.  She chuckled at herself and wiped away the makeup with damp washcloth.  Gathering up her things she headed down the empty hallway back to her room.  'The girls must still be out at the field,' she thought, sadly; wishing she could be celebrating with them . . .and Spike.  'Just suck it up and go talk to him.  Maybe it's not what it looked like?'  She quickly re-applied a small amount of make-up and lightly tapped the mirror.  'Stop making yourself miserable, there are things in life you can't control.'

Buffy exited Revello and headed to the one person she knew could help her out.  'There's only one thing I need right now-'  Buffy paused in front of her mother's door. 'Mommy's hot cocoa with marshmellows.'  She raised her hand to knock, finally noticing the note taped to the door:  MEETING WITH BRIAN AT BOWL-A-RAMA - BE BACK SOON.

"Well that's just great," Buffy muttered under her breath.  "The one time I really need her . . ."  She was interupted by her own thoughts.  'What, you barely talk to her for a whole week, and you expect her to be here waiting for you to run into her arms like a little kid whenever you feel like it?   Stupid, selfish Buffy hasn't changed all that much.'  Buffy rolled her eyes at the voice.  "God!!!  I know this!  Do you have to keep reminding me what a bad person I am!"  She shuffled over to the couch in the lobby and slumped down.  She tucked her legs under her body and curled up in the corner.  "I guess I can wait five minutes."  Realizing how exhausted she was, she let out a loud yawn and felt her eyes begin to close.

"Buffy?"  She felt someone gently stroking her hair.  Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at the person above her.  "Spike?  What are you doing here?"

He took a seat beside her and took her hand in his.  "I talked to Red, she told me you were upset about me and Dru."

Buffy sat up to face him.  "Spike I-"

He lifted a finger to her lips.  "Shhh, luv.  It's ok.  Dru means nothing to me."

Buffy's eyes filled with hope.  "Really?" she managed to squeak out.

Spike let out a low laugh.  "Of course not.  You know you're all I bloody think about. . .dream about."  He lifted his hand to her face and traced her features, the way he knew she loved.  "I'm drowning in you Summers - drowning in you."

Buffy took his hand in hers and kissed his fingers lightly.  "How did you know I was here."

He chuckled.  "I didn't.  I was actually coming to find your Mum for a warm cuppa."

Buffy giggled and playfully poked him in the ribs.  "You're such a. . ."

He grabbed her hand and began tickling her.  "What?  Handsome devil?  Irresistable hunk of man?"  Buffy couldn't control her laughter, he had reached the ultra-sensitive part of her sides.  She thrashed around trying to make him stop, which only made him continue the attack.  Eventually she ended up underneath him on the couch, with his hands pinning her down.  "Say it."

"Say what?" she feigned ignorance.

"Say that you want me, and that no one makes you feel the way I do."

"Sick, you mean?" she asked innocently, batting her eyelashes.

Spike increased the grip on her wrists and pushed his pelvis down to hers, grinding his erection against her, causing her to gasp at the contact.  "Not quite, luv."

Buffy stared up into his shimmering blue eyes.  "I thought that you didn't want . . ." she started softly, only to be interupted by his lips crushing against her own.  She moaned into the kiss, allowing his tongue entrance.  Tears sprang to her eyes at the wonderful feeling of having him above her, kissing her - she felt safe again.

He pulled his lips away, panting heavily.  "I always want you."  He leaned down, nuzzling his face into her neck, nibbling her skin gently.  "I'm not going to resist this anymore . . .if this is what you're offering," he ran a hand down her side, into the waistband of her shorts, "I'd be a fool not to accept it."

Buffy felt a large sob break in her throat, tears beginning to roll down her cheeks.  She clutched him  tightly to her, never wanting to let him go.  "Please stay - don't leave me.  I need you,"  she whispered huskily into his ear.

He lifted up on one hand and gazed deeply into her eyes.  "Never."

That one word was all she needed, and she lifted up, wrapping one arm around his head, and captured his lips with her own.  Their tongues dueled fiercely for dominance, neither wanting to let the moment end.  Buffy pushed against Spike's chest lightly, signaling that he should sit up.  When he did, she manuevered him so his back was against the back of the couch.  She gave him a wicked smile, which he returned with one of his own, and slid his soccer shorts part way down his legs.

"Buffy, are you sure about this?" he asked softly as she removed her own shorts.

"I've never been surer of anything in my life," she responded, before moving back to him.  She straddled his legs and took hold of his erection in her small hands.  Staring deeply into his eyes, she positioned him at her entrance.  She paused above him, as the tip of his penis probed her opening.  Resting her forehead against his, she strained to keep her eyes open.  "I love you, Spike," she whispered before sinking down on his cock.

They grunted in unison at the feeling of being joined this way again, their bodies shaking from the intensity of the moment.  Spike smoothed his hands down her arms and interwined his fingers with her own, bringing them between their bodies.  He held her gaze and kissed her lightly on the lips.  "I think you know that I'm desperately in love with you too, pet," he said, lifting his pelvis slightly, making her moan at the combination of words and feeling.

Buffy bit her lip lightly, and rose up on her knees, allowing him to slip almost completely from her body, before slamming down on him again.  Their gazes remained locked as Buffy continued the slow pace of their lovemaking.  She could have sworn that he was in her more deeply than ever before; they were joined as one - body, mind and soul.  Buffy panted loudly as she felt the head of his penis graze that spot within her.  "Oh god," she breathed out, desperately trying to maintain control.

Spike dropped her hands and wrapped his arms around her body tightly, pulling her flush against him.  He placed open mouth kisses on her neck and nibbled gently on her earlobe.

She clutched him tightly to her and circled her hips, keeping him buried inside her.  Their moans echoed through the empty lobby, not caring who could walk-in on the intimate moment.  Buffy gasped for air as she pressed down on him forcefully, her clit firmly against his pelvis.  Her body began to quake as her climax overtook her.   "Ahhh. . .Don't leave me. . .please," she cried out, then buried her face into his hair, "uuuh. . .never leave me."

Spike grunted as he found his own release, his cock quivering inside of her.  Holding her tightly, he began stroking her back gingerly, rocking her with him.  He placed a tender kiss to her temple, and shushed her softly.  "Never."  He moved his kisses to her cheeks, her eyes, her chin, her lips - any place within his reach.

"Stay with me," she sobbed, "Don't go."

"Buffy-"

"Shhhh, don't say it," she pleaded, as she clung to him.

"Buffy, wake up."

"Not now, no," she cried out as she felt him begin to disappear.

"Buffy you're dreaming.  Wake up."

Buffy shook her head and grasped onto the arm of the couch.  "No, no, no."

"Buffy!"

The petite blonde shot up, and looked around the lobby.  She was panting heavily, searching for Spike; but all she saw was a very worried looking Giles standing above her.  "What . . .?  Giles?" she asked, still not fully aware that it had all been a dream.

"Buffy, are you alright?"  Giles asked softly, taking a seat beside the very shaken girl.

Buffy took a deep breath and squinted at her uncle.  "Giles?  I don't . . ."  Oh my god, I told Spike that I loved him and then he disappeared.'  Buffy ran a hand through her matted hair and looked at Giles again.  "Where's Spike?"

Giles placed a hand on the young woman's shoulder.  "Buffy, you were dreaming.  I just found you on the couch asleep, muttering things about staying and going and . . .er . . .marshmellows, I believe it was."

Her eyes went wide with realization.  'Spike was never here.  We never made love.  I never told him I loved him.  And he didn't tell me that he loved me too.'  Buffy's face fell and looked up at Giles.  "It was all a dream," she said, as more of a question than a statement.

"Yes, I believe it was."  Giles said quietly.

Buffy dropped her face into her hands and felt the tears sting her eyes.

Giles took her hand and lifted her to her feet.  "Come on.  I'll fix you a nice cup of tea." 

Buffy sniffled and nodded, as Giles led her to his room.  She took a seat on his recliner while he boiled the water and fixed them each a hot cup of Earl Grey.

Giles took a seat on the couch and looked over to Buffy, who sipped her tea in silence.  "Is everything all right?"

Buffy turned to face him.  "Can I ask you something Giles?  And you have to be perfectly honest with me. . ."

Giles removed his glasses and began rubbing them with his handkerchief.  "Of, of. . .course," he stammered, afraid of what she might ask.

Buffy took a deep breath.  "Why are guys so, completely. . ." she struggled to find the word, "confusing."

"I'm not sure I follow?"  Giles asked, although he was relieved that the line of questioning wasn't about something else.

Buffy lifted her feet onto the chair, tucking her knees under her chin.  "Well, like, one second you think you know exactly what they want-" Buffy paused for moment and then spat the rest of the statement out quickly, her anger rising.  "-then the next they're pushing you away, singing rude songs to you in front of fifty strangers at a bar, and cuddling with vampire wannabes."

Giles cleared his throat, "Buffy, if I'm understanding you correctly . . .which I'm not sure I am . . .I think your main problem is one of communication; not the. . .er . . . 'vampire wannabes'. . .was it?"

Buffy shrugged, "I guess so.  But why can't he just know not to . . ."

Giles pinched the bridge of his nose lightly and shook his head slowly.  After a moment he lifted his eyes to her once again and placed his glasses into their proper place.  "Buffy, you can't expect anyone to miraculously know what's going on in that head of yours.  I've known you for years and can't even begin to grasp what you may be thinking at any given moment."

"But I-"

"And if this is about who I think it is, how can you expect him to understand you after only two weeks?"  Giles took a sip of his tea.  "Furthermore, from what your mother tells me, you do have a small habit of jumping to conclusions and overreacting."

Buffy opened her mouth to protest, but when she caught Giles' knowing glance, she just pouted and took a long sip of her tea. 

"Have you talked to Spike about how you're feeling?"

Buffy's shook her head slowly, refusing to look Giles in the eyes.

"Don't you think that would be best?"

Buffy traced the outside edge of her mug and spoke softly.  "What if I'm not prepared to hear what he has to say?  What if it's not the answer I'm hoping for?"

Giles reached across to Buffy, and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.  "Then that's just a risk you'll have to take."  He gently wiped away the tear that she had let slip.  "But . . .if you ask me. . .he'd be daft not to want a wonderful girl like you."

Buffy sniffled, and looked up to the man who had been like a father to her these last few years.  "Why are you so good to me?"

"Your family has been very welcoming to me after your aunt and I separated.  It's the least I could do."  He rose from his place on the couch and moved beside Buffy, squatting next to the chair.  "And without children of my own, you've become like a daughter to me."

Buffy burst into tears and pulled Giles into a tight hug.  "Thank you," she sobbed into his shoulder.  After a few moments she pulled back and looked into his kind eyes.  "Why couldn't you have been my real father?  Instead I got 'Hank the butthead.'"

Giles smoothed her hair, and wiped the wetness from her face.  "Someone doesn't become a father because of genetics, Buffy.  They become one through their actions, their love, and because they want to be."  Buffy nodded in understanding.  "So, I guess, in a small way, I am a father figure. . .of sorts."  He chuckled out nervously.

Buffy shook her head rapidly.  "No.  Not 'of sorts' - of the real kind," she asserted, holding his hand tightly.

Giles blushed, and felt a huge grin spread across his face.  "Er. . .yes . . .well then-"  Feeling the moment could get more uncomfortable he rose to his feet.  "Another cup of tea?"

---------------------

Buffy exited the main staff building, feeling much better after her long talk with Giles.  She really was lucky to have a man like him in her life.  He was like a reminder that all men aren't assholes, that there really are a few good ones left in the world.

"I know dad!"  She heard a voice yell from around the corner.  "You don't have to remind me.  Never let my guard down. . .I KNOW!"

Buffy peeked around the building and saw Angel sitting on an empty bench, speaking loudly into a cell phone.

"Of course. . .soon. . .but what if I don't. . .yes, sir. . .ok."  Angel slammed the phone closed, and threw it into the bushes in front of him.  "Shit!" he screamed when he realized what he had done.

"Everything ok?" Buffy asked, quietly, not wanted to startle the angry man.

Angel looked up from the bushes and was about to yell at the intruder, but when he saw it was Buffy, his features softened.  "Hey kid," he said as he pulled the small silver phone from the bush.

Buffy took a seat on the bench.  "Is there anything I can do?"

He shook his head.  "No, just my dad . . .being a prick as usual."

She nodded in understanding.  "I get that."

He stalked over to the bench and took a seat next to her.  "So, he calls me to find out about the game, and when I tell him my team lost, he goes off on me about my defense and never letting my guard down."

"You played a good game, don't let him get to you."

"It's just that-" he stopped himself, realizing that he was opening up too much.  "Never mind. . ."

She patted his knee softly.  "It's ok.  I'm a good listener; well, I'm going to start trying to be."

Angel sighed, finally allowing himself to speak freely.  "He's such an asshole.  All I ever hear about is how I'm not good enough, or that I have to do better in school so I can join him at the studio.  And there he is screwing around on my mom with twenty different secretaries, not to mention the little actresses who want to fuck their way into his next film." He turned to face her, "I'm so scared that I'm going to end up like that, you know?"

Buffy nodded, knowing that he was heading down that path.  "You don't have to be.  We're not all tied to genetics."  Off of his blank stare, she tried to explain herself more clearly.  "It's like the whole nature vs. nuture thing I studied in psych.  You're not just a product of chromosomes and genes - other factors effect who you become."

Angel smiled, the first genuine smile she had ever seen cross his face.  "That's smart.  I like that about you Summers. . ."  He leaned in towards her slowly.

Not wanting to give him the wrong idea, Buffy stood up.  "I'm glad I could help, but I have to get back to my girls.  I left them with Anya, and I have no idea what crazy things she's teaching them."

He nodded, sad that she couldn't stay longer.  "So you want to hang out later, maybe talk or something?"

"That would be nice," she said softly.  "But let me get back to you, ok?"

"Sure, we'll talk later," he said, rising to his feet.  "I should go find my boys too.  The younger guys are actually a kick."

Buffy laughed, "Well, I'm glad you're having fun with them.  You take care of yourself, Angel."

"I always do," he said with a sigh as he watched her run off towards Revello.  "I always do."