What The Bloody Hell Is Going On Here?

Chapter 4 – I Feel Fine

"Hey Xander."

"Hey Buffy."

"What ya doing?"

"Nothing."

"Willow told me."

"She did?"

"You thought she wouldn't?"

"Well, I did tell her not too."

"Since when does she listen to what you say?"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you want me to know?"

"It's nothing personal, I didn't want anyone to know."

"Oh…how come you told Willow?"

"I didn't tell her, she here when it happened."

"I'm sorry Xander."

"Yeah…it's okay though. This day had to come."

"But still, it must be hard."

"Not really."

"Xander, it's me, you don't have to pretend."

"I'm not pretending."

"All right fine…but if you need someone to talk to then I'm here for you."

"Err…thanks. But do you mind if you could be over there for me. It's just that I've got to go to work and your sitting on my shirt."

"Oh, sure." Buffy gets up and moves across the room.

"Are you going to be okay?…is not something I am going to ask you."

"Well, thanks for that."

"But you will be okay right?"

"Buff, could we talk about this later."

"Sure…sure, no problem. We can talk about it later."

"Great."

[Pause]

"Buffy?"

"Yeah?"

"Work?"

"Oh, yeah. Work, of course. I'll go and let you get ready."

"See ya then."

"Yeah, see ya."

*****

"Hi Buffy."

"Hey Willow."

"Something wrong?"

"What? Oh, no. Well…how did Xander take it?"

"How do you expect?"

"So he was upset?"

"Yeah."

"Like visibly upset?"

"Well, not visibly. But I could tell he was upset. Wouldn't you be?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"It's just that he seems to be taking it all to well."

"It's that healthy?"

"Not if he is bottling up his feeling."

"You think he is doing that?"

"After what happened I would have thought he would be slightly more affected."

"Now that you mention it, he didn't act all that upset. It was more like a business transaction than...well, you know."

"When I went round you wouldn't have even thought anything was wrong."

"Although Buffy not all break-ups are of the same emotional intensity of yours."

"Yeah I know but they were together for so long."

"Maybe, we're reading too much into this."

"Yeah, maybe."

*****

"Buffy?"

"Hi Xander."

"What you doing outside my apartment? Starting a new career as a stalker?"

"Yeah, I'm starting at the bottom and working my way up."

"What can I do for you?"

"Nothing."

"Buffy, it's late at night and you're sitting outside my apartment. That's not the sort of stuff you do for nothing."

"I just wanted to talk."

"Talk?"

"Yeah…you know Xander..."

"I know what you are going to say."

"How?"

"You have your pity face on."

"My pity face?"

"Yeah, your head tilts slightly to the left, your eyes widen and…well it is your general pity face."

"I didn't know I had different kinds of faces."

"Everyone does. Well except those people who have been horribly disfigured."

"Xander!"

"What?"

"You shouldn't make fun of the horribly disfigured."

"What about the non-horribly disfigured?"

"Xander!"

"Okay, okay, I won't make fun of any kind of disfigured people. Hell, I even won't make fun of you."

"I'll ignore that."

"I would if I were you."

"So, what do you think I was going to talk about?"

"I figure you and Willow are 'worried' about me."

"We are."

"There isn't any need to be."

"There is, Xander."

"I think you two are just overreacting."

"You spent three days in your boxers watching cartoons."

"I was on vacation."

"What about only eating breakfast cereals?"

"They were on special offer."

"And the whole not bathing thing?"

"Water conservation."

"Okay fine, apparently you have any answer for everything."

"Not everything, paradoxes for instance."

"It's just ever since Anya left you…you have been, you know…well, you know."

"Very well put Buffy."

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, well I'm sorry my not breaking up in the right way. "

"That's not what I meant."

"What do you what me to do?"

"We don't want you to do anything Xander."

"Maybe you should stop examining my life and maybe have a look at yours."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You know what it means."

"I don't think that I do."

"Forget it."

"No come on, tell me what you think."

"It's just that your life isn't a pile of roses at the moment is it?"

"My life is fine."

"Is it? Is sleeping with Spike normal?

"What about Cordelia?"

"What about Cordelia?"

"She wasn't exactly the best choice in the world."

"At least she wasn't a vampire!"

"Like you could tell the difference."

"How about letting someone go because of pride."

"Yeah well, I didn't leave someone at the altar! Did I?"

Xander looked at Buffy and she saw the pain in his eyes.

His glaze fell onto the ground and he said in a low voice, "No. No you didn't." He then walked away leaving Buffy standing all alone.