What The Bloody Hell Is Going On Here?

Chapter 5 – Let It Be

"Oh crap. I can't believe I did that."

"Don't worry about it."

"Don't worry about?!? I think of all things this is a perfectly acceptable thing to worry about."

"Okay, you have a right to worry. I'm just saying you shouldn't."

"Of course I shouldn't but worry is not the kind of emotion you get when you are doing something you should be doing."

"It will be fine."

"How could you possibly know that?"

"I've done it too."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Was it okay?"

"After a while."

"Who did you use?"

"Smith & sons. Best locksmiths there are."

"Damn! I went with Teton."

"Teton? Are you mad Xander?"

"I know, but they were cheap."

"There is a reason they are cheap."

"Because they are efficient?"

"Yes, if by efficient you mean completely useless."

"That is what I usually mean by efficient."

"So, what happened with Buffy last night?"

"What do you mean what happened?"

"I didn't mean it that way."

"Which way would that be."

"You know."

"No, please tell me."

"Anyway, how did it go?"

"Fine?"

"You don't sound convinced."

"I'm sorry but I don't usually score my conversations with Buffy."

"Sure you don't."

"Okay, there is something very weird with about you, Willow."

"Good weird?"

"Probably."

"You're not sure?"

"About the moral value of your weirdness? No."

"So, you're not going to tell me what happened then?"

"What is there to tell? We talked. Hardly the kind of thing that would make a great story."

"I suppose."

"Why do you care so much?"

"Well, Buffy has been acting kind of weird."

"Good weird?"

"She seems kind of…well…off."

"Off?"

"Yes."

"Buffy is kind of off?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, I have no idea what the hell that is supposed to mean."

"Neither do I."

"Why does that not surprise me?"

"Because you already knew the answer."

"So, Buffy is acting weird?"

"Yeah, at least I think she is."

"You're not really the best judge of weirdness though, are you?"

"I'm telling you, there is something wrong with Mickey Mouse."

"It's okay Willow, I believe you."

"Good."

"What did Dawn say?"

"Can I have some toast?"

"About Buffy?"

"Oh, I didn't speak to her about it."

"Then I definitely won't believe you."

"About the Mickey Mouse thing?"

"About the Buffy thing."

"Oh, that makes more sense."

"That is what I'm all about baby, making sense Xander that is my new nickname."

"It's not much of a nickname."

"Not all nicknames are good."

"Gangster ones are."

"Yeah but gangsters steal all the good ones."

"They do?"

"Oh yeah, they have a whole nickname racketeering thing. They basically run the black nickname market."

"For a minute there I thought you were serious."

"A whole minute? I would have thought you would know better by now."

"So would I."

[Pause]

"So, what are you going to do about the whole Buffy situation?"

"Let it be."