Sauron and the Ringwraiths: A Love Story
Chapter 4
Beneath the slowly turning disco ball, two forces of Evil pivot slowly – for once, forgetting everything but love.
"Sauron, this means a lot to me"
"I'm glad, Bob. It means even more to me"
"I'm glad I'm back, Eye. I don't like to admit it…but… We're really so much better together. Know what I mean? We're almost like a puzzle. Better together than apart."
"I know exactly how you feel"
The Eye pulls Bob closer to him, and the two dance cheek-to-cheek. Shivers of sparkling light, reflected on the turning disco ball, dance across their faces.
"You've made me feel bad though, Eye", whispered Bob, clutching the Dark Lord's rough but gentle hands. "I didn't get you anything!"
"You did, though, Witchy. You're better than any present you could have brought me"
The time is right, and both of them feel it. The room turns slowly about them, as the dance to the slow, romantic pace of the music. Leaning in, Sauron gently touches Bob's face, and the Wraith gazes tenderly into his Eye.
"Kiss me, Sauron"
Needing no further urging, the Dark Lord's slightly visible lips brush Bob's, and the two exchange a tender, meaningful kiss.
"Thank you, Bob"
"Thank you, Eye"
"I've been thinking, though…."
"What about?" The Dark Lord steals another kiss from his Ringwraith companion.
"I don't feel… all that comfortable about us being the same sex."
"Let this put you to ease, Bob – I'm a disembodied force of Evil. That means I don't exactly have a sex!"
"Hm… I suppose you're right, Eye"
The Wraith and Eye revel in their passion a while longer, before walking downstairs, hand-in-hand, for some refreshments.
Sitting around a black, shiny table, (presumably of Jasper), Bob clasps the Eye's hand, and comments:
"We won't ever be parted again… will we?"
"'Course not! Bob… you awaken in me something that I've never, in my thousands of years of living, felt before!"
"Awww…"
"No, really, Bob. You already have a Ring… so I can't offer you one"
"True, true"
"What do you want, Bob?"
"I feel the same as you do about me, Eye. I don't need anything but you!"
"Bob, to celebrate our love, I'm throwing a massive party! All the Evil forces of Middle Earth will be invited."
The WitchKing suddenly shudders, and says, "even Saruman?"
"Well… "
"I don't want him to come – he'll be talking about how good I am in bed the whole time. Sick bastard. Can't seem to forget anything…"
"True, true. And, come to think of it, I don't want the Balrog or Shelob there either. They'll just keep talking about our sick night together…"
"Then who do we invite?"
"I dunno… you tell ME!"
