Chapter 6
"Okay, okay", resumes the Dark Lord, after a prolonged period of silence. "So
maybe a cocktail party wasn't exactly the best idea…"
"Yeah. And that's putting it mildly", says Bob.
"Well. What do you suggest we do to pass the time, Witchy? It's been weeks and
weeks since I had any kind of social function at Barad-dur…"
"What about a pool-party?"
"No – I don't like water."
"A slumber party?"
"You know very well that neither of us sleep, Bob."
"How about a…"
"Forget about it, Bob", ends the Eye. "It's hopeless! We'll never get our active
social lives back…"
"Oh, lighten up, Sauron! We don't need any forces of evil to keep us happy. All we
need is each other!"
"Thanks, Bob"
The Wraith gazes lovingly into the flame-wreathed Eye of his accomplice, and the
Dark Lord's gaze pierces, (not harshly), his companion's pale but stunningly lively
Eyes.
"We could just go on holiday…"
After much deliberation, the Evil Pair decide to make Harad their destination, and areDebating whether or not to bring sunblock.
"We aren't even visible, Eye… we don't need sunscreen!"
"Yes, but I read somewhere (the Mordor Press, I believe), that if we stay out in the
sun for extended periods of time, we might regain some of our former presence!
If you see what I mean…"
"Really? Well, Eye, I can't deny that I'd love to have my body back! Perhaps I can finally take a shower, then, without forgetting where my body is!"
"I don't shower, Bob."
"And you still smell gorgeous!!"
"Thanks, Bob"
"Okay. Next topic – what clothes do we bring?"
"Well… I always liked that disco outfit of yours", says the Eye, playfully. "It sparkles magnificently with your every movement."
"Good idea! I'll bring that, if you bring your lime-green bellbottoms!"
"Will do. Definitely will do."
"Oh! Oh, Eye! Don't forget the sparkly mascara. We wouldn't want to arrive in Harad looking any less than our best, now, would we?"
"Most certainly not, Witchy. Will you help me find it? Finding makeup items is a daunting task nowadays…" – sigh –
"Sauron, are your legs still not working correctly?"
"No, damn it. And my Disembodied Eye-To-Body surgery didn't even come with a warranty!"
"Hm… Don't worry about it. The Harad sun does wonders for muscles and joints, Eye."
