Ranma SI
Ranma SI
A Ranma 1/2, Sailor Moon Crossover
Chapter 6
Warning: You must have some knowledge of the fifth series of Sailor Moon, Sailor Stars, to fully understand and enjoy this fanfic, though those with knowledge of the series up to Super S will probably also understand.
Disclaimer: None of the characters in this story belong to me. All of the Ranma 1/2 characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi, and Shogokukan. All of the Sailor Moon characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi, Toei Animation, and Kodansha. The only ones that I own are the youma that I make up. And to be honest, they kinda suck.
Note: Ranma SI is filmed in front of a live studio audience!
Except where specifically noted in the credits, all celebrity voices are impersonated and no celebrities have endorsed any aspect of this fanfic.
A lone figure wandered down the streets of Nermia. A young man, not older than 18, and looking worn and tired walked down the streets, ignoring the looks of the people as they parted as he came near.
The people knew Ryoga Hibiki, and knew enough to stay away.
Ryoga pulled the present for Akane out (Maple Syrup from Canada) and went over the scenario again in his head...
#####
"Akane, I have returned" Ryoga said, approaching the Tendo house looking handsome and clean.
"Oh, Ryoga! How I have longed for this day!" Akane said, running out of the house and embracing him.
"Nothing could keep me away, my love." Ryoga said as the two kissed.
"Hey, wasch goin' on?" Came a drunken voice from the house, and Ranma stumbled out, looking inebriated, and slightly fat.
"No! It's Ranma! Save me, Ryoga!" Akane shrieked as she buried her head into Ryoga's chest.
"Ranma, I'm giving you one chance to leave. I've trained, and there's no way you'll win. And after you developed that drinking problem, and after you went broke, and after your family disowned you, and after you gained one hundred pounds, (Hey, this is Ryoga's fantasy...) there's no way you'll win. Ryoga said, looking noble and brave.
"No way! I'm schtill the greatshest in all of China!" He yelled, and ran drunkenly forward.
"You... you leave me no choice." Ryoga grabbed Ranma's head and snapped his neck.
"Thank god! Now let's go and get married!" Akane said, looking up him with sparkling eyes.
"Oh, Akane!" Ryoga said, and then they kissed.
#####
Ryoga chuckled to himself as people backed further away from him. "YES! Today will be the day! I will ask her out today!" Ryoga began laughing harder than ever, and bounded off.
Everyone was quiet, and then, "And people wonder why we're all moving out of this city. First a city with aliens, and some unlucky pervert kid, and now this."
Everyone murmured their agreement and continued on.
#####
(And now, back to the main plotline of your regularly scheduled fanfic.)
Ranma walked about the grounds of the temple, sweeping up. He glanced around, and smiled. Nobody was around. After a quick scan of the premises, Ranma headed to the clearing area between the temple portion on the grounds and the actual house itself. Ranma smirked. He was lucky that Rei and her friends had gone to try and get tickets to another Three Lights Concert, and that Mr. Hino was out getting groceries. This would give him time to train. For real, that is.
Ranma sighed as he leapt from tree to tree, sometimes over 30 feet in the air. He was so glad to let loose. The problem he had found so far with this world was that there were no exceptionally good martial artists available, like him. *I have to admit...* Ranma said to himself as he leapt to the roof of the Hino house, and began a complex kata. *Having Ryoga, Moose, and the rest of the guys around really was cool. They were always pushing me and stuff. Oh well. At least my chi training has been doing much better lately. Maybe I should meditate more often. It helps from time to time.* Ranma thought as he continued his kata.
#####
Michiru sighed contently as Haruka parked the car. "I'll go ahead and bring Setsuna the green tea we got her!" Michiru said happily, as Haruka nodded in response.
Michiru picked up the bag of tea, and began to bring it up to Setsuna's room. Michiru sighed. Setsuna really had been worrying about this Ranma boy a lot, lately. *And she's been going off to see him and stuff. If I didn't know Setsuna, I'd think that she... nah. It's not possible.* Michiru opened Setsuna's door, and noticed, not much to her surprise, that she wasn't there. She hardly was. Michiru put the bag of tea on her bed, and was about to leave, when she noticed something sticking out from under Setsuna's pillow. Now, though normally not one to snoop, Michiru could not help but pick it up, and open it. Setsuna never had many secrets. She opened it, and was expected to see a diary, or a history, or something...
Instead, it was a... photo album. Michiru flipped through it, and noticed one continuing fact in all of the pictures. All of them had… Ranma on them. She kept flipping through the book.
*This must be some research... Why else would she have...*
Michiru stifled a giggle as she looked at the next page, one of the last pages in the book. After a few blank pictures, there were a few pictures of Ranma... looking good. Working out in a muscle shirt, taking off the top of the Shinto garb... but the thing that caught her attention was the notes drawn in the side, in Setsuna's unmistakable handwriting. The notes included things like, "he looks really cute in this," and, "I love how he looks with no shirt on." Michiru stifled another giggle.
Michiru suddenly stiffened as footsteps came down the hall. She shoved the book under the pillow again, and turned around as Setsuna entered the room. "Hello, Setsuna!"
She nodded back. "Michiru."
"So..." Michiru said, smiling widely. "Any luck with that boy lately?"
Setsuna hadn't faltered like Michiru thought she would. Setsuna just looked calm as normal. "He's an elusive boy. Hard to find information on him." Setsuna tossed a few strands of hair out of her face.
Michiru nodded, and started to leave. *So... thinking the not-caring attitude is gonna work...* "What will you do if you catch him?"
Setsuna shrugged and turned from her. "Kill him or make sure he can't screw up the future."
Michiru began to leave. "Ok, ok." Michiru began to leave, and suddenly turned, smiling slyly. "So..." She pulled out the book from under the pillow and started flipping through the pages. "He DOES look good with no shirt on, doesn't he?"
Setsuna's eyes widened and she turned around, to see Michiru smiling sweetly and holding up the book to her 'private' pictures. "Give that back!" She yelled, lunging for the book.
Michiru giggled and dodged out of the way. "I think I like him best in this picture." She added, pointing to a picture of Ranma training with no shirt on.
Setsuna blushed greatly at that. "Yes, it's one of my favorites too... wait! Give it back!" She lunged again.
Haruka chose that moment to come in the room. "What's going on here?" She asked, looking at Setsuna chasing Michiru.
"Here, catch!" Michiru said gleefully, tossing the black book to Haruka, who plucked it out of the air and began flipping through it. After a moment, she slowly started to grin. "So... you want him to yourself for a bit when we catch him?" She flipped the page again. "Maybe for a cavity search or something? All night long?"
Setsuna blushed, then frowned and lunged at Haruka.
Letting a tape that was in her pocket fall out, and hit the ground.
Michiru didn't even hesitate. Just ran, scooped the tape up, and popped it in the VCR player next to Setsuna's TV. Setsuna stepped forward to stop her, and Haruka placed a hand on her shoulder, chuckling.
"Oh, let us watch it. We promise not to make fun of you." Haruka said, sitting down, Setsuna sitting down and blushing after a moment.
The tape started, and the source of Setsuna's embarrassment was quite evident. The tape was completely of Ranma, without a shirt, going through some particularly difficult exercises, and sweat was now glistening all over his body. The three watched for a few moments more, and Michiru finally turned the tape off. Herself and Haruka turned, grinning slyly.
"..." Setsuna said in response to the stares that she was being given.
"Well, this is great! I think that he might be a bit young for you..." Haruka started.
"...But I'm sure that he's man enough! And here I was, thinking that you had no hormones at all..." Michiru finished.
"Yes, well... he's very nice, when he wants to be... and nobody's ever called me cute before..." Setsuna said, remembering back to their first meeting.
"Tell you what!" Michiru said happily. "We'll help you get this Ranma guy! Right, Haruka?"
"Yeah... it might be a bit hard, with the guy being a complete moron at times, but... I'm sure we could do something." Haruka replied, nodding.
Setsuna thought for a moment, and then nodded. "I'd like that."
#####
Minako and Makoto sat across from each other, thinking hard.
"The time of decision has come." Minako said sagely.
"Yes..." Makoto looked down to the thing in question. "Now... I wish it were a simpler thing we had to decide on..."
"The most difficult things in life often are difficult, Mako-chan." Minako said as she looked up to Makoto, eyes shining. "It's times like this when we must bear down, and finally decide for good."
"Agreed." Makoto replied, and both fell silent yet again.
"Alright, so, I'll get Ranma, and you get the next guy." Minako finally said, picking up the picture of Ranma and smiling.
Makoto sighed. "Ok, fine..."
Minako picked up the next picture. "Now, to decide what to do if Seiya happens to become free..."
#####
Ryoga sat at a campsite, not far from Uuchan's. He sighed as he remembered his small visit to the Tendo household...
(Flashback, two hours before...)
Ryoga wandered, looking back and forth, finally stopping after a few moments. Something was familiar about this place...
"Oh! Ryoga-kun! Why don't you come in? I had some snacks made up!"
Ryoga turned to the smiling face of Kasumi. Looking back, he realized that what had seemed familiar was the dojo, and koi pond. He was in the Tendos' backyard. Ryoga sweatdropped. "Yeah... that would be great, Kasumi..."
Ryoga followed Kasumi into the house, glancing about, trying to locate Akane. He sat down at the table that Kasumi had guided him to, and quietly munched on a cookie. "So... where's Akane, Kasumi-chan?"
Kasumi's smile wavered, and she suddenly was smiling sadly. "Akane's been... a bit sad lately."
Ryoga sprang up. "It was Ranma, wasn't it?" He began to fume, until Kasumi gently placed a hand on his shoulder, and Ryoga sat down again.
"It's not what you think, Ryoga-kun. The story's a bit long... and hard to explain." Kasumi said, thinking of how to explain.
"It's 4:30!!!" Came a sudden cry from upstairs. Akane's cry and footsteps began coming down the stairs rather rapidly.
Ryoga smiled brightly and got his present ready, holding it out until he saw Akane. "Akane-chan? I... I got this for you..."
"Not now! There's more important things than this!" Akane said as she walked right past Ryoga, slapped the gift out of Ryoga's stunned hands, and continued to the TV.
Ryoga stood in stunned, heartbroken silence. This was the first time that Akane had just... rejected him like that. He looked over to the TV, thinking that there must be something more important going on...
The opening theme song of Sailor Moon played, the Senshi being shown one-by-one.
"A... Akane... would rather watch a TV show than talk to me?" Ryoga said. He hadn't moved yet.
Kasumi was about to respond, when Ryoga grabbed his bag and left quickly, not saying another word.
(End flashback...)
Ryoga sighed again. He had heard the full story from Ukyo not long afterwards, but it had still hurt. A lot. The pain of the rejection, that is. Somehow, the knowledge that Akane had chosen Ranma... in a TV show, over himself in real life had jolted him out of the dream that he would win Akane. That and Ukyo getting ticked off at Ryoga talking loudly that Akane should just forget about Ranma, because he was arrogant, and stupid... and Ukyo had finally got tired of it. She yelled that Akane didn't like him, and never would, because he was a stupid jackass. One smack on the head later, he had left. He sighed. It was just... too much to take in.
And the worst part was... he wanted Ranma back. No matter how much he said he hated Ranma... he wanted him back. At least he made life interesting.
"Damn you..." Ryoga said quietly, not sure whom he was talking of.
#####
A small figure left the Nekohaten and dove into the bushes, quickly masking his chi.
A boy with long, white robes and long, black hair ran out, looking around, followed closely by a small, withered figure on top of a staff.
"But... I was SURE that I saw something dive into the bushes..." Mousse said, looking about.
Cologne smacked Mousse over the head. "I'm sure I would've seen something... and you know that Happosai hasn't shown his face around here ever since the... incident." Cologne looked a bit downcast. Damn the laws, that boy had been a pleasure to teach.
"But... you were busy with the customer, and…" Mousse was cut off by Cologne smacking him over the head.
"Enough! Get back inside! There's soup to be served!" Cologne said, and began to follow Mousse back inside, and she heard it. But, by the time she turned around, the thing was gone again. Cologne tightened her grip on her staff. "Happi... you're digging yourself a hole..."
Cologne watched for a moment, and slowly walked back inside.
Happosai stopped a few buildings away from the Nekohaten, and looked back to make sure nobody was following. He reached into his gi and pulled out a scroll he had stolen from Cologne's personal stash. Opening it and reading a bit, he smirked. *Just what I need.* He thought as he stuffed it into his gi and ran on.
*Now for phase 2...* Happosai thought as he raced to the boy he was looking for...
#####
Ranma finished his kata, landing lightly on a rock in the yard. He sighed contentedly as his body relaxed slowly. He sighed. For some reason, he couldn't get over the feeling that everything was right in the world, and that nobody was plotting against him, for once. Then lightning flashed, and Ranma smacked himself in the head. *Oh yeah, I forgot. Nothing EVER goes my way.* Ranma chuckled to himself as he walked back to the house, entertaining himself with thoughts that he wasn't fate's bitch.
#####
A huge creature flew to Japan, smiling to itself. It would make the old geezer pay... and without Ranma around, he would crush him that much more...
It thought that it was a bit strange that he had received a note telling him about Ranma's sudden disappearance, but the urge to finally defeat Happosai once and for all, and without interference on top of that, overrode any doubts that he may have had.
It chuckled to itself as it flew a bit faster.
#####
Sailor Iron Mouse sat in her office, flipping through the newspaper idly, until the phone rang. She froze, and slowly picked the phone up. "Moshi... moshi!"
She listened for a minute, and nodded. "Yes, I'll be right down..."
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Sailor Galaxia watched as Sailor Iron Mouse arose from her bow. "You summoned me, Madam Galaxia?"
She stared back hard, and Iron Mouse dropped her gaze after a moment. "I am getting displeased, Iron Mouse. You have tried, and failed. And even the monsters you created have not met my standards. What do you have to say?"
Iron Mouse opened and closed her mouth a few times, finally speaking up. "I... I apologize, Madam Galaxia... I swear that it will..."
"You have sworn and failed. One. More. Chance. That is all."
"But... that hardly seems fa..."
"It seems completely fair." Said a new voice from the other side of the room, as a shadowy figure seemed to appear to the side.
"Completely fair to myself as well." Replied another voice, another figure appearing next to the first.
Iron Mouse glared at that part of the room as Galaxia spoke up. "That is all."
Iron Mouse hesitated for only a moment, then bowed and left without another word, trying to ignore the snickers the two figures were giving her.
#####
Usagi sat in her room, surprised and a bit depressed at the same time. Sure it was great that a few days had gone by without a phage attack... but...
"Why do I get the feeling that I'm not the most important person in the world anymore?" She said, looking confused.
"My, but don't we have a big head..." Luna replied, trying to get some sleep.
#####
Ryoga slowly walked down the streets of Nermia, not acknowledging anything going on around him. His mind was awhirl with thoughts. Awhirl with thoughts of Ranma, thoughts of Akane, and thoughts of his life in general now that Akane and Ranma were officially gone from his life. He would have continued his dramatic thought moment, when he felt something land on his head.
"Ryoga, m-boy! How's it been?" Happosai asked, taking a long draw from his pipe, and dumping the embers on Ryoga's head. "Love to chat, but I've gotta get back to Akane and that sweet bosom of hers!" He said, and sprang off, leaving Ryoga sprawling on the ground.
Ryoga got up, facing the fleeing figure of Happosai with murder in his eyes. He had hurt him, AND threatened Akane's well-being! Ryoga shook in rage as he hefted his umbrella, and raced after Happosai. "Prepare to die, you old freak!!!"
#####
Shampoo put the closed sign up on the Nekohaten door, noticing out of the corner of her eye that Ryoga was chasing Happosai down the street. She saw that they seemed to be heading to the Tendo place. Shampoo shrugged. After Ranma left, she really had no more use for the Tendos anymore, and could honestly care less. A few minutes later, as she went about her business cleaning the tables, Cologne hopped down the stairs, cursing to herself.
"What wrong, Great-grandmother?" Shampoo asked, wiping another table clean.
"Oh, nothing. I just think that Happi stole something of importance to me. I don't think that he'll be by here anytime soon, however." Cologne sighed.
"Not true, Great-Grandmother! Happosai and Bandana-boy just run past, to Tendos!" Shampoo replied, and began on a new table.
"Happi, and… Ryoga? Oh no…" Cologne's eyes widened, and she quickly turned to Shampoo. "How long ago?"
"About ten minutes ago, great-grandmother! But, no worries! Ryoga no get hurt! And Violent-girl much too busy watching reruns of Ranma-show to… great-grandmother?" Shampoo looked around, but Cologne was already long gone.
#####
"Damn you, Happi, you crazy fool!" Cologne growled to herself as she tore to the Tendos.
#####
Akane sat there, growling to herself as she watched today's episode again… how DARE Ranma flirt with Sailor Pluto?! That JERK!! She reared back, about to smash the TV… the fourth one since the incident, as a matter of fact, when Happosai jumped into the room, bounced off the wall, and buried himself into Akane's chest.
"Akane! Great to see you! And the twins too!" He said happily as he gave her chest another squeeze.
Akane screamed and went down for a powerful elbow, which Happosai avoided by leaping off her chest and landing on top on the dining table. Happosai looked up at the clock on the wall. "Three… two… one… now."
Ryoga crashed through the wall, right on schedule. "Old freak… I'm gonna mangle you!"
Happosai smiled as Ryoga leapt into the air, umbrella pointed down at him. He jumped away casually at the last moment, causing Ryoga to smash the table to bits. Happosai began avoiding blow after blow, striking Ryoga whenever he left his defense open. This was quite a bit, due to his extreme anger, mostly.
After a minute of battling, and after all of the Tendos, and even Genma (who was ready to run at a moments' notice,) Ryoga stumbled away, beaten quite a bit. "I'll… get… you… old… man…"
Happosai reached slowly into his gi. "Just a few more minutes… the note I sent, combined with his speed… combined with the fact that I'm making my presence known…"
"What are you talking about?" Ryoga asked harshly, getting to his feet and glaring horribly at Happosai.
#####
The creature soared over Nermia, glancing around for its' target. Finally, it heard it. The sounds of battling were coming from directly below, and, after a few moments, the cackle.
The creature narrowed its' eyes. It was the cackle of its prey.
It looked down, to the house where so many of its encounters had occurred in the past.
With a snort of rage, it dived down at the house, murder in its eyes.
#####
"I'm going to…" Happosai suddenly looked up, and dived back as the roof was smashed in, and a huge creature landed not far from Ryoga. This 'creature' was a part-bull-part-yeti-part-eel-part-crane-part-octopus, to be exact. Pantyhose Tarou.
"Oh, thanks to whoever has answered our prayers! Now the master will be destroyed, and Ranma will be returned! Oh happy day!" Soun exclaimed, sobbing happily into Genma, who was currently smiling as well.
"That's right, master! Your days of deception and treachery are over!" Genma exclaimed, laughing. Finally, something had gone their way! Pantyhose would defeat Happosai, and they would find a way to get Ranma back! What could go wrong?
Happosai only smiled slowly and pointed at Pantyhose. "Look, boy! I'll make you a deal! One battle! You fight me, fair and square, as a human, in the dojo, and if you win… I'll change your name." Happosai crossed his arms across his chest. "I swear on my honor and title of grandmaster of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts."
Tarou hesitated. It seemed too good to be true. Happosai was just flat out putting it all on the table? Something nagged at the back of his mind about this… something was wrong here… But Tarou pushed these thoughts out of his mind, as a much more powerful thought entered his mind. His name was going to be changed.
Tarou reached over and grabbed a hot water kettle that Kasumi offered him, ("It's always good to have hot water handy!" she said happily to everyone else) and splashed it over his head, tossing it away as his human self.
"Alright, you old fart. I accept." Tarou walked slowly with Happosai into the dojo, everyone else following, and Ryoga with a bit of help from Kasumi. As the two reached heir respective corners of the ring, Tarou slid into a fighting stance, as Happosai stood still, his muscles tensed.
Tarou lunged forward, kicking high at the jumping form of the Grandmaster of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts. The battle was joined.
#####
Five minutes later, Tarou slammed through the front doors of the Tendo dojo, and into the already demolished living room of the Tendo house. He groaned, and tried to get up.
"Whahahahahahaha!!! Looks like you lose, boy!" Happosai said as he bounded in, looking a bit worse for the wear, and lit his pipe, puffing slowly.
Tarou got up. *I can't believe it… I lost… NO! I won't lose!* Tarou growled and charged at Happosai, drawing upon the last fleeting bit of strength he had left.
And Happosai casually smacked him into another wall, as if he didn't even take the boy seriously. "Heh, Pantyhose, m'boy. You know, with Ranma gone, you were the only one who could beat me. The only one who stood a chance." He reached into his gi and pulled out a scroll, and casually unrolled it. "Looks like I'll have to do something about that, won't I?"
"Listen, you old freak, I don't know, or even CARE what happened to fem-boy, but don't think you're getting rid of me that easily! I will not be beaten! You can count on that! I swear that I will get this stupid name lifted!" Pantyhose said as he got up, breathing heavily.
However, during Tarou's little speech, Happosai had finished the spell on the scroll, and pointed lazily at Tarou as the scroll burst into flame. "I think that you'll be stuck with that name for quite a while. But don't worry, Pantyhose is a name full of character!"
Tarou only got one last look off, one of confusion mixed with horror, as the same green beam shot out of the TV (which had been playing the Sailor Moon rerun this whole time) and in a moment, he was gone. Happosai cackled with uncontained glee.
"Yes! Yes! That ingrate, Pantyhose, is FINALLY gone! Now, I am UNSTOPPABLE!!! And Victoria's secret is making a world tour, and stopping here tomorrow! This is the best day of my life! Whahahahahahaha!!!!!" Happosai leapt off, all of the Tendos still frozen in shock at what just happened here, besides Soun, who was sobbing at the loss of his roof, table, and time without the Master.
Cologne suddenly tore into the room, and glanced around wildly, her eyes finally falling on the fallen TV, which had gone staticy again. "Oh no… I'm too late… Happi, you, you… idiot…" She said as she bowed her head, and very slowly left the room.
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Author's notes: I'm… BACK! Indeed, I am back! I would like to give a big shout-out to my biggest supporters, and I also want to hear what you thought about this chapter! E-mail me at my new e-mail, (ottofromire@yahoo.com) or come to my website! () And don't worry! I'm going on a two-week vacation, but I'll be typing Chapter 7 the whole time! Oh, and sorry about the focus on the Nermia gang and Setsuna. I just wanted to answer a few questions here and there. Why Pantyhose? Hey, he kicks some major arse. And before people ask me too much, I'll be switching between calling Pantyhose Tarou 'Pantyhose' and 'Tarou' a lot. He'll personally just stick with Tarou, of course.
Next Time, on: Ranma SI!
Ranma actually does something to move the plot!
Pantyhose is comin' to town!
Brought to you by Coca-Cola! (Now wait a damn minute here…)
New villains?
And, a new, improved Setsuna?
Once again, all C&C can go to ottofromire@yahoo.com
