I don't own Fushigi Yuugi. It belongs to its respected owners. I also don't own that SuperMan quote.

Author's Notes: Shadow Priestess, the part about Tasuki doing all the work... you read my mind! ^_^ Hee hee... *ahem* anyway, I've changed the direction of the story yet again. This time, it's a Ranma 1/2 direction... be afraid.

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"I've never asked you before, but sir, are you a fast runner?" The purple haired man walked along side his new partner toward the racetrack.

"Che. Of course I am!" Tasuki let out a boastful grin. "I'm the fastest there is! Faster than a speeding bullet! Faster than everyone else in the group!"

"What, the turtle group?" The feminine figure giggled as the redhead turned sharply to him.

"Yakamashi!!!"

"I've never asked your name!" He gasped.

"Eh... what?"

"Well don't just stand there, what's your name?"

"Geez, you REALLY could ask me nicely, ya know..." The redhead frowned at the demand. "I'm Tasuki."

"Tasuki." The purple haired man tried it out. "Tasuki... Tasuki... okay, got it!"

"So what the hell's yer name?"

"Hmph! You won't speak so indecently to me when you find out! I'm Nuriko! *ahem* THE Nuriko!"

Tasuki cast a blank stare. "THE Nuriko? As in... THE Nuriko the gay pain in the ass?"

Tasuki was able painfully fly to the stars and back. (It's prettier than saying, "Tasuki got the crap beaten out of him, and then he was flown to the stars with a swift punch".)

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"I'm a high ranking officer mind you!" Nuriko pouted as they made their way over to the track. "My father wanted me to enter this race to find a bride... or groom... in your case a bride..."

"Che." Tasuki ignored the comment. But not without having steam coming out of his ears, a very puffed up red face, and popping spiderweb veins on his forehead.

"What about you?"

The redhead frowned. "What ABOUT me?"

"Why are you here?"

"I got lost."

"Lost?"

"Yeah, this fuckin' girl popped me one all the way over here. I don't even know what the fuck is goin' on."

"You must be a weakling."

"YAKAMASHI!! WILL YA QUIT WITH THE FUCKIN' INSULTS!??"

"*sigh* I'm sorry." He flipped his braid over the other shoulder. "I'm just fed up with this marriage business. My father's not going to be happy when I told him I partnered up with just a friend and not a marriage partner."

"Friend?" Tasuki blinked. He was shocked, to say the least.

"Yeah, baka..." Nuriko trailed off, surprised at his own comment, "...friend... or perhaps..." He stopped and turned to his companion.

Tasuki stopped walking as well and glanced back quizzically. "Oi..."

The feminine man leaned in closer to him with eyes glazed over and a slick smile across his face. "What do YOU think, Tasuki chan?"

The redhead opened his mouth to say something but a HUGE ASS loudspeaker boomed throughout the area.

"THE DISH AND SPOON RACE WILL SOON BEGIN! ALL SELECTED PARTICIPANTS PLEASE REPORT TO THE STABLES!"

"Come on! We'll be late!" The purple haired man grabbed the redhead by the wrist and literally dragged him over to the stables.

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"Here's your ticket, Tasuki chan!" The chirpy voice of the violet haired man said and handed a small piece of paper. "Give it to the man over there!"

"Tasuki chan... what the fuck do I look like, a school girl?" The ticket man stared wide-eyed at the redhead's use of language. "I didn't know ya needed a ticket to run this."

"Everyone picks pieces of paper out of a hat." Nuriko sat back at their booth where the other contestants were waiting as well. "I was lucky enough to get the one with the ticket on it. That Blondie over there..." He pointed at some tall blond man nearby, "He paid someone for it. Nothing's wrong with that though..." His fingers dug into the dry wood. "I love competition!"

"Ya look like yer pissed off."

"Hmph! I don't!"

"Che, it's written all over your face man."

"Shut up!"

"Why?"

"I'll pound you!"

Tasuki backed away from his partner and grinned evilly. "Make me!" He stuck his tongue out and turned to run away, when he collided into a firm chest. "Ow! What the fuck!? Watch where ya goin' ya stupid-"

"Well hello there." The blond man smirked in a flirty expression. "You're new, aren't you? I see Nuri chan's been keeping you all to himself..."

"Are you kidding!?" The feminine voice yelled out from his sitting spot. "He's not EVEN close to being a boyfriend!"

"Ah, I see." The smirk grew deeper. "Then you wouldn't mind if I took him out for dinner, would you Nuri chan?"

"Go... fucking... ahead..." Nuriko said through gritted teeth. "And STOP... calling me... Nuri chan..."

"But you're so cute." The smooth voice laughed, but not quite in a mean way.

"Who the fuck? No guy's takin' me out ta dinner!" Tasuki yelled, swinging his arms wildly.

"What language... Ah, you prefer the company of women then?" The blond raised an eyebrow at Nuriko.

"Fuck no! Women creep me out!"

"......" Everyone in the booth stared at him. Tasuki sank down.

The blond turned the redhead's chin up to him and leaned in close. "Bad experience with women?"

Tasuki shrieked and ran to a nearby corner to huddle in it, whimpering. He turned around and held up a tiny lighter. "Come close and I'll fuckin' burn you!!" The blond and Nuriko sweatdropped.

"Nakago!" A harsh woman's voice sliced through the air. "Are you flirting with Nuriko sama AGAIN!?"

"Oh lord..." The blond massaged his temples. "No Soi dear, I was just meeting his new friend..."

"A redhead!?" She growled. "You ARE flirting!" She sobbed.

"No no!" He waved his hands in the air defensively. They both walked off to some other part of the booth, arguing all the way.

"Weird relationship..." Nuriko murmured as he walked over to the huddled Tasuki. "Oi! Baka! Get up! What kind of man are you?"

"Easy for you ta say!" Tasuki whirled around. "I'm not gay like SOMEBODY..." Before he knew it, the redhead's face was buried into the ground.

"THE RACE WILL BE STARTING IN 5 MINUTES!! PARTICIPANTS, PLEASE GET INTO OUR COSTUMES AND REPORT TO YOUR STATIONS!"

"Che... these are too fuckin' small. What are they supposed to fit, rabbits?" The station was no larger than 3 feet wide and what made the damn place even stuffier were their huge costumes.

"Rabbits are MUCH bigger than this, baka. Okay, listen." The purple haired man began and the redhead didn't bother to ask about the rabbits... shudder. "Our only goal is to run straight to the line. Since YOU'RE the dish, you'd better run at least half as fast as you say you do!"

"No fuckin' problem!" Tasuki grinned and stood expectantly in front of the door.

"Oh, there's ONE rule I should mention..."

"What?"

"Yeah, well, nobody really plays fair in these kinds of races..."

"What the fuck is THAT supposed to mean!?"

"Um..."

"Hey! WHAT-THE-FUCK-DOES-IT-MEAN??"

"Don't worry, I'll help you in THAT department!" Nuriko mockingly flexed his slim "muscles".

"YOU help?" Tasuki laughed hard. He got flown into the wall.

"ON YOUR MARK... GET SET... GO!!!!"

The door flew open and Tasuki sprinted outside dragging a very annoyed violet haired partner with him.

"Hey! Stop, you're going too fast!"

"Whaaaat?" The redhead yelled sweetly. "I thought I wasn't half as fast as I said I was!"

"Shut up baka, look out!"

He turned his head in time to watch a chicken collide into his face. "Ow! What the hell!?" He stopped and rubbed his nose gently.

"Anta Baka? Don't stop, keep running! No, watch ou-"

A zap of thunder fried the redhead on the spot. The blonde and the woman ran past them.

"Geez, you're so useless." Nuriko complained and hoisted Tasuki up and started running. In the meantime, everyone else got ahead of them.

"Wah!? Geez, you're frickin strong!"

"I told you I could protect us from stuff like flying chickens if you would just listen to me!"

"That guy's in front of us!"

"Well, whose fault is that!?"

"Just shaddap and put me down! Let me run!" (AU:... I'm tired of using "Yakamashi"... my grandparents always told me that... *pouts*)

"I don't think so!"

"We're going to lose, goddamn it!"

"Hmph." Tasuki was tossed on the ground. He flung the purple haired man over his shoulder and sprinted once more. "Hey you bastard whaddaya think you're doing, carrying me like this!?"

"You're too slow, aho!" The redhead dodged flying chickens, cows, and other livestock that the other contestants threw at him. He caught up with the blond just a few feet before the finish line and sprinted past.

"YAY!!! NURI SAMA!!"

"We won we won!" Tasuki jumped in the air, cheering in an unclassy way. "We fucking won!"

"Baka! Not so loud with that language! At least stay away from me, so they don't see me hanging around a ruffian like you!" Nuriko started to wriggle around. "And put me down, ecchi!"

The redhead carelessly tossed his partner on the ground and danced around. "I wish Kouji was here..."

"Nuriko sama. And... Nuriko sama's partner." A man addressed them through the crowd. "Please come with me to see our highness."

"Come along, baka." Nuriko dragged Tasuki from the cheering crowd and the free beer for winning.

"But... but... free beer!!"

"Baka... you're so unclassy..."

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"Remember your manners when speaking to his highness." The guard reminded them both while they stood before large double doors.

"That goes double for you, fang boy!" Nuriko glared at his partner.

"DON'T CALL ME FANG BOY!!!"

"Would you keep it down, sir?" The guard huffed and knocked on the doors politely.

"Che..."

"I am presenting the winners of the Dish and Spoon contest: Nuriko and his partner, Tasuki to his highness."

"PROCEED." A low, commanding voice boomed.

"Yes, you're highness." The guard moved away and opened the doors. Both of the winners were ushered into the large thrown room.

Tasuki stared straight at the striking man before him. The king stared down with his sharp eyes. The defined nose and serious brow of the Royal Highness also added to the sharp contours of the eyes. The red hair... Tasuki thought it looked strange and was about to voice it but thought better of it (well he DOES have a little self-control!). Now this was something that wasn't seen everyday in the town...

"Bow!" Tasuki was slammed down into the floor. "What do you think yer doin' Nuriko!"

The purple haired figure wasn't sure if he should get up and pound him or remain respectful in front of his highness. The king on the other hand, remained calm even though his eye twitched at the lack of respect and there was a tiny sweatdrop when Nuriko started to treat the redhead like a wrestling match.

"Enough." His voice boomed and both figures stopped fighting. "Tasuki, since you are the dish winner of the Dish and Spoon race, you will in the future take the spoon, Nuriko's hand in marriage."

"NAAAAANNIIIIII!!!!???????"

"USOOOOOOO!!!"

"I thought you said it was optional!!"

"I thought it was! The rules didn't SAY I had to marry you!"

"Well what the fuck did that king jus' order us ta do!??"

"It's Suzaku SAMA!! Don't treat him like he's some unmannered ruffian like yourself!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!!"

"Are too!!!!"

They were about to wrestle once more, when suddenly; they were frozen in their tracks.

"Eh? Wha.. wha...?"

"I can't move..."

"You two really haven't changed no da!" They heard a high pitched voice complained from behind a curtain. The blue haired man stepped out, his fox face in a bit of a pout.

With anger he heard the redhead shout, "You left me alone! What was that all about!" (It's supposed to rhyme from when Chichiri walks out... if you didn't notice)

With a swish of the hand, both of them could move again and the fox faced man stepped forward and bowed to his majesty.

"This is Chichiri-"

"I know who he fuckin' is! He's the one that left me in that goddamn horse track and got fem boy over here to hate me!!"

Nuriko started to choke him. "FEM BOY!?? AND WHAT'S THIS ABOUT HATING YOU!?? YOU'RE THE ONE THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT HARD TO HATE YOU!!"

"Stop it you two!" Chichiri froze them again and sighed. He turned to his highness. "They seem like a matching couple, yes no da?"

Suzaku Sama's mouth twitched upward into a tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny small small small small small small small minute minute minute minute smile. "It seems they do..."

Chichiri pulled Tasuki as far away from Nuriko as he could. "Daa..." Unfroze them. "Listen to Suzaku Sama."

"Tasuki, Chichiri has told me of your wish to return to your home town." Tasuki was silent... for once. "You may do so under the condition of having Chichiri guide you there. Once you two reach your destination, he will leave.
"You will return someday. I will give you a year's deadline or else the guards will fetch you. In that time, you must decide weather or not you will take Nuriko's hand in marriage. You will be coming back with your answer."

Chichiri took a glance of surprise at his highness. Tasuki was given a choice.

"I..." The immediate thing to say was that he already declined the whole ordeal. But for some reason, the redhead didn't want to. He felt a guilty tug at his chest when he looked over at his purple haired companion and saw the hurt in his eyes. The feminine figure pretended not to care but tried to hold back tears of rejection. The redhead knew immediately that he had to talk this out with him.
"One Year?" Tasuki stood up and laughed. "What's the matter? Afraid? Impatient? Ants in the fuckin' pants? How about TWO years! I DARE ya! THREE YEARS! What's the matter? Chicken? FOUR!"

Chichiri groaned inwardly and Nuriko giggled.

Suzaku's eyes widened and a huge anger vein popped on his forhead.

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"He didn't have ta hit me..." Tasuki was carried to his room by his soon-to-be fiancŽ.

"Baka, what were you doing anyway?" Nuriko huffed as he was carrying him to a temporary sleeping quarters.

"Tasuki, Suzaku Sama is not only our king, but an all-powerful god no da! I got my powers from him!"

"That explains my whole fuckin' body being a wreck."

"From just one tap!" Nuriko happily added in.

"Yakamashi!"

"Most of your injuries should be fine by tomorrow no da." Chichiri sighed. "But just in case, I know a healer on the way... Daa! You've met him before no da! He's the guy I was with when I found you!"

"Mitsukake, eh Chichiri?" Nuriko smiled. "Tasuki chan here is lucky to have such a caring friend! Be grateful for Chichiri here!"

"Che... I give up."

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"So what are you going to do when you get home?" The purple haired figure asked as he neatly folded the redhead's clothes on a nearby desk.

"Che... I dunno." Tasuki said thoughtfully. "I guess grab a few drinks with my friends." His fang poked out but he wasn't in the mood for blood, strangely.

"You'll never change in a year, I'll bet." Both of them smiled. "Good night, baka."

"Hey..."

"What?"

"Do you want ta get married ta me?"

Embarrassed, Nuriko turned away. "What kind of question is that!?"

Tasuki stared at the ceiling. "Che... of course..."

"I mean..." The feminine figure was silent for a few minutes. "I really don't know. I've never been engaged before so I'm not very... I guess I don't know how to put it."

"...Good night."

Nuriko stared at him and finally smiled. "Good night."

Meanwhile...

Outside of Tasuki's room, Suzaku Sama and Chichiri had their ears to the door with a small smile on their faces.
"Aww, I really thought they were going to kiss at least no da."

"I guess not..." The god sighed a disappointed breath of air. Both of them scrambled down the hall the moment they heard Nuriko coming over to the door.

"Well good night Suzaku Sama no da!"

The god nodded in his direction. Then, a small smile came to his face at the retreating figure. It was a mischievous smile. Like the King knew something about him that the fox faced man did not...
To Be Continued...