A/n: *whistles* can you believe we're up to chapter eight?!! ......already?!! *
t: *shakes head* sometimes i worry about you....
p: meh! but last chappie i had evil help! mwhahah......and this chappie will have other evil help!
t: more? *cringes* who....exactly?
p: MAELGWYN AND CW!!!!
t: *looks blankly* who?
p: *slaps him on the head* just shut up and do your job!!
RECAP:
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"GAHHHH!!!! I....can't....take....it.....any......moRE!!!!" Phoenix raised the butt-end of her sword, and knocked herself into unconscieness....
"Ha!! That shut it up...."
Tyger flew down and grabbed the comatose Authoress.
"Baka." She alighted to the ground, and the blue balls that surrounded the other people disappeared.
"I'm sorry if we are a bother, but do you know where Tarka went?" Everyone blinked at her.
"Guess not. Darkie?" The dragon appeared on her shoulder.
"Yes?"
"Go find Tarka, and bring him back to my Space, would you?"
"Alright. Do you need a hand with her?"
"No, I'll be fine." The two humanoids disappeared, and the dragon streaked off, found the purple fool, and disappeared as well....
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Chapter 8- And the plot thickens....
Phoenix woke up with a pounding headache.
"Headache? You have a head?!!"
"Shut up. This is all your fault you know. If you hadn't said all those crazy ideas, we wouldn't be in this mess." Phoenix's evil alter-ego sat on a table, glowering at her mind. The mind was jumping up and down and pulling faces. The evil alter-ego drew out the 2" by 4".....
"Ouch!! Stop That!!"
"Never!"
"Owwie Owwie Owwie!!"
"Excuse me." the battle paused and it's participants looked at Phoenix who was tied down to the floor. "Yeees?"
"Do you think you could get back inside my skull?" They both nodded but when the mind tried to enter, Phoenix shook her head.
"Sorry, it's been fun, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go."
"Really?"
"Yeah....."
"Oh....can you give me a reference then?"
"Anytime." And with that the mind put on a hat, and packed a suitcase (don't ask where it got them) and left Tyger's Space. The evil alter-ego laughed maniacally. Finally! It shouted. I wondered when you were going to get rid of it..... "Well, it seemed best for everyone." Phoenix struggled to get up, but found she couldn't.
"What the feck is going on?"
"What do you think?" The figure Rolled her eyes. "You're too dangerous to let run about my space. Most of it has breakable things in it! However.... If you can prove to me that you will behave, I might release you." Phoenix's face twisted into anger, guilt, and then submission.
"Fine..." she muttered.
"Hnn." Phoenix glanced around for Tarka. Where had the idiot gotten to?
"Yo! Authoress! Wassup?"
"Why in Kami's name are you talking like that?" Tarka flushed.
"I jus' saw 8 mile! A feckin' good movie!"
"Watch your language, or I'll remove your tongue!" Tarka clamped his mouth shut.
"That's better. So....Tyger....."
"What?!" The figure was trying to play with her gamecube and was irritated at the disturbance. "Ummmm......care to....oh......I don't know....let me go?"
"Why would I want to do that?"
"Out of the goodness of your heart?"
"Goodness? Me? You have *got* to be kidding me." Tyger rolled her eyes. "I will, however, cut you loose and send you back into your fan-fiction. Thereupon, you shall not kill, maim or destroy anything. Also, you will not leave the 'fic until I'm convinced of your sanity. Do you understand?" ....Silence.... "You *do* understand it's the only way you'll get out." Tyger turned back to Starfox. ....Silence.... "FINE!" Tyger smirked. "Took you long enough." She waved a hand and the ropes disintegrated. A black hole gaped in the floor, as Phoenix and muse began to be sucked into it's endless void. A voice called after them. "I still have your ruby you know! I think I might hang onto it.... just in case...." "NOOOO!!!" The screen became black, and Phoenix knew no more.
BACK IN THE ZOID REALM...
A disk of sparkly blue light swirled and hummed in the sky. A loud yelling was to be heard, and two bodies hit the ground. Well, one of the bodies hit the ground. The other kinda floated and landed with a thud. Fiona and Moonbay jumped when they heard the noise. Who was this?!! Not the insane girl with a tail....They ran over to the crash landing site, ignoring Van and Raven beating their fists against the glass of their deactivated zoids. Yes, they were still locked inside them.
Could this get any weirder at all? Probably. Lying sprawled in the dirt was a form unlike any they had ever seen.. It was male, Moonbay smugly discovered, wearing jeans, a t-shirt....and....silver armour? He had brown hair and an overly-long fringe. By his side sat a little blue stuffed animal.
"How cute!" Fiona picked it up and hugged it tightly.
"Oh, yeah baby!" the formerly cute animal yelled. Fiona shrieked and dropped it promptly.
"What the hell are you?" The blue form looked indignant.
"CW, muse to the almighty MAELGWYN!! ALL KNEEL BEFORE HIM, AND HE MAY SPA-"
"What?" One of CW's eyes began twitching.
"For Pete's sake!! HIM!!" He pointed at the Author lying on ground.
"Wha- CW! Where are we? Have I passed out again from lack of caffeine?"
"Noooo.....We have been sucked into Phoenix's warped....fic.....whatever-it-is."
"Really? How cool!!! How come she's not here?"
"How the hell am I supposed to know?" CW replied angrily.
"Because you're my damn muse!"
Irvine entered the scene and looked confused.
"He's your what?"
"Don't worry, you wouldn't understand...just think of him as a personal slave." Maelgwyn rubbed his bruises and looked around. What to do to fill in the plot holes? Hmmmm.... suddenly his eyes spotted the trapped pilots and he smirked evilly. This was the time to get that much needed caffeine boost.
"Give me everything that you have which is edible and is high in sugars and caffeine. In return, I will... release your friends and reactivate the Zoids."
Irvine raised an eyebrow.
"You can do all of that?" Maelgwyn smiled nervously and looked around.
"Sure....I ....can!" He flashed the other a big salesman smile. "Now, the food, if you would be so kind?"
Some time later, a small mountain of foodstuffs lay piled at the evil duo's feet.
"Yes, well...I think that might be enough." Maelgwyn hurriedly began shoving everything into a sack provided by his muse. He stretched upon completion of the task and stood up, looking at the sun.
"Wow! Is that the time! Sorry, gotta go!" He bailed CW into the sack also and fled for his life across the now-desert plain.
"Why you littl- HEY!! COME BACK HERE!!!" Maelgwyn turned his head briefly while running....
"Laaaaaater!"
THE SCREEN, TIRED OF SWIRLING INTO BLACKNESS, DECIDES TO DO A FLASH SEQUENCE WITH MULTIPLE COLOURS. *Readers collapse to the ground in seizures...*
Phoenix and Tarka were falling....falling but not really getting anywhere. In fact, by the time that they actually reached the portal for entering the fan-fiction, they had already played three games of checkers, one game of chess, ten rounds of Uno, and discussed the most possible methods of achieving the final goal. A purple rip in the sky appeared, and threw them out. Tarka being the heaviest and not able to fly, headed for the ground first. Phoenix hovered in the air, hesitant.....
"Heeeeeeelp meeeeeeee......" She sighed and rolled her eyes. Maybe she could trade him in for a muse who wasn't so dependant..... but if she wanted to trade, he'd at least have to be alive....With that thought in her mind, Phoenix dive bombed through the air and caught him by the scruff of his collar.
"What would you do without me?" she sighed heavily. Tarka was gagging, and pointing to his face.
"Can't....breathe!!"
"Hmmm? Oh!" Phoenix exclaimed sheepishly. She had forgotten they were three feet off the ground....*CLUNK*
"Owww! You didn't have to drop me!"
"Quit your whining! You didn't have to be so heavy! It's not like it's that far down anyway." Phoenix landed softly and sat on the dusty ground cross legged.
"Hey! Where did all the grass go? It was here when I left...."
"Ummm.....you kinda destroyed it all?"
"Oh yeah....I was forgetting...." Phoenix muttered and scanned the barren landscape. Presently her keen eyes spotted something on the horizon. A huge column of dust. Coming towards....her. Before either of them had time to react, the dust collided with a sickening thwack. A sack flew up into the air, sending candy bars and a small stuffed animal raining down everywhere.
Phoenix blinked.
Maelgwyn blinked.
Tarka sneezed, ruining the moment.
"Who are you?" Phoenix had a tendency to be absent-minded.
"Errr.....Maelgwyn. Don't you remember anything at all?" he asked as he picked himself up from the dust.
"Oh...riiight."
"Ignore her. It's too early in the morning for her brain to function properly."
"Hey! Shut up you baka!"
"Hmmm....but she can still insult people...charming."
"Don't make me come over there!" Phoenix was about to clock him one, when she saw the candy bars everywhere. She picked one and inspected it more closely.
"What's this?"
"Spoils of war." Maelgwyn grinned evilly.
"Where from?"
"Well....let's just say from those people you love to torment so much..."
"Hmmm...How interesting! And such a vast selection!" Phoenix nodded with evil satisfaction, "A job well done!"
"Thank you!" The sun began creep higher overhead, and burnt the necks of the writers.
"Maybe we could discuss this further in a place where there is some shade. Can you fly?"
"Ummmm.....I don't think so..."
"Ahh well. It doesn't matter. As this is my fic, and I still mercifully have kept my Authoress powers, so, you can be able to fly." Tarka looked very annoyed.
"Then why didn't you let me fly in the first place?!!"
"But my dear muse!" Phoenix smirked ,"Wherever is the humour in that?" Tarka muttered incoherently under his breath....Having found a small cluster of trees that hadn't been blasted away from the previous battle, the small group alighted on the ground. Phoenix sat with her back against a tree trunk, and the others gathered around her....momentarily unaware of what to do.
"Uhhh...you know you're allowed to sit down, right?"
"Oh...right." Maelgwyn and the two muses formed a semi-circle around the half-asleep Authoress.
"Phoenix....." Maelgwyn undid the sack and pulled out a few bars of edible hyperness. "Phoenix...are you awake?!"
"Poke her."
"Wha-?"
"Poke. Her." Tarka repeated stubbornly. "Unless you want to remain in this scene forever." Maelgwyn eyed the dozing form warily. She seemed to be growling in her sleep.... Opting for a choice where he might be able to keep all of his fingers, Maelgwyn peeled back a wrapper and waved the candy under her nose, spreading the chocolate scent through the air. Phoenix's eyes shot open with an alarming speed as she pounced on the sugar.
"GIMMIE, GIMMIE, GIMMIE!!!!"
"GAHH!!" Everyone scrambled back three feet in shock and watched the crazed Authoress cram the entire bar into her mouth at once. She noted their expressions of fear and smiled widely. Whew! At least they knew she wasn't going to kill them....today... But no reason why she should be the only one to enjoy the benefits of caffeine and sugar all at once! The trio smirked and attacked the remaining food. The situation they were all in proved to have a much brighter outlook when their blood glucose levels flew up into outer space, destroying several planets on the way.
(a/n: *evil smirk* muahahahaha!!! I have my evil kittyTolkien sitting on me at the moment, and he is giving me Dr.Evil type ideas.....wonder where there is a site that sells giant 'laser' cannons and subterranean drills?!! *strokes the evil kitty on the head in an evil doctor-type way*)
COMPUTER SCREEN FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON IS CRANKY WITH EVERYONE AND JUST SWITCHES TO THE NEXT SCENE
Back in Tyger's space....
"Looks like I'm going to have to go and save her butt.... AGAIN." Tyger muttered as she read over D.T.M.D.T! Darkie was just glad to be away from the purple idiot. Not to mention once again, Tarka's extreme mental retardation, he tasted bad. Tyger turned Phoenix's prized possession over in her hand. "Well, at least I know she can't do anything more destructive.... But, knowing her, she'll just get someone else to do her dirty work...." She sighed, and got a few supplies together. She just *knew* she was going to have to intervene. That demi- ....always getting herself into trouble. She pitied the victims.
SCREEN HAS BEEN HUGGED AND IS HAPPY NOW. DOES STANDARD BLACK SWIRL
Phoenix and Maelgwyn were deep in evil plot discussions. Apparently, Maelgwyn seemed very interested to hear all of the insane and improbable way of achieving the final goal. For the simple minded few which have forgotten....sugar-fuelled world domination. (a/n: would I have it any other way?!! ^_^)
"But unfortunately, I am unable to act on any of these notions, as I'm on a sort of good behaviour bond."
"I see.." Maelgwyn frowned.
"See what?!! Are we playing eye spy?" (Tarka....-_-() ) CW abruptly pulls a dictionary of curse words from nowhere and starts reeling them off at the bewildered purple muse.
"What if....what if I were to help you in all of these...deeds? That would certainly make things more interesting!" Maelgwyn said. Phoenix looked surprised, but then smirked as she rubbed her hands.
"Yessss.....the perfect cover...none will ever....suspect...yeees....." She trailed off, thoughts on how to take over the world overwhelming her poor evil alter-ego. Suddenly, her eyes flamed and her tail twitched excitedly as the first step in achieving the improbable came into being.
"Tarka!" Phoenix snapped, looking at her muse. "Do we have any jelly-nite left?" CW looked at her weirdly.
"Ummm....don't you mean....gelignite?" Phoenix glared at him and waved a hand.
"No! JELLY-NITE!! Few people are aware of powdered jelly's real capabilities. Do you imagine that they actually eat the stuff when it's added with water?!!" Tarka gasped, and Phoenix patted him on the back. "Yes muse, it is true. Continuing on, however, jelly has explosive powers far, far beyond that of..." Here she scoffed ,"gelignite." CW rolled his eyes, and Maelgwyn asked her to continue.
"Yes...well...my plan is...." a pause for dramatic effect ,"since we can't terrorise the kiddies for a while, we'll do the next best thing, and blow up....THE ZOID REALM'S SHAMPOO MANUFACTURING FACILITY!!! Phoenix swished an imaginary cape up to her eyeballs and smirked.
Crickets chirp melodiously...
"Wha-" Phoenix hit her muse before he had a chance to finish the sentence.
"For the love of Kami! She exclaimed, and pointed to a factory that had magically appeared behind them. "THAT!!"
The other three: "Ohhh...."
"Come, proteges!!" Phoenix swept off into the sky followed by Maelgwyn, CW and Tarka (who had to run on the ground....ehehehehehe)
"Why...exactly are we doing this?" Maelgwyn asked as he drew level to Phoenix, his silver armour glinting in the strong sunshine. The other shrugged.
"Seemed a good thing to add a little action/adventure to the storyline!"
"I see...." A smirk spread across his lips. Yes, he was going to enjoy destroying something....mwehehehe.... Soon the group touched down on the ground, and Tarka (with his chest heaving) made to hand over the box of lime flavoured jelly powder to Phoenix. She shook her head sadly and pointed to her companion Author.
"Can't...good behaviour, remember?!!"
"Ohh..that's right." Tarka plonked the box in his hands.
"Umm....how exactly do I set this up?" Phoenix jumped up and down excitedly.
"Just rip open the top, and throw it through an open window into one of those huge vats!!"
For not the first time that day, Maelgwyn smirked and did as was instructed to him. Phoenix hit the ground, her hands covering her head. Slightly alarmed, the rest followed suit. How bad could the explosion be?!! It was just jelly!! Wasn't..it? Wrong.
*Splash* One second passed by.....
two......
three....
.........
KAAAABBBBOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!! The earth shook and felt as if it would split in half. Deranged workers wearing hard hats ran from the building, rolling on the ground to put out the fire burning on themselves. The earth tremors paused and a white substance began to pour out of the open windows.
"Phoeeenix?" Tarka trembled behind his Authoress.
"Yes?"
"What's that?!" The white stuff was nearly open them. Phoenix grinned happily and using her Authoress powers, created surfboards for the two humanoids.
"Surf's up dudes! Ride the bubble wave!!" She gave him a doped up hippy expression. Tarka opened his mouth to protest, but was swept away by the tide.
"WHOOO HOOO!!! YEAHHH!!! COWABUNGA!!!" Those and similar cries could be heard as the shampoo-bubble-wave carried them far across the plain.
"PHOE-NIX!!!" Maelgwyn yelled across at her ,"HAVE...YOU..... EVER SURFED BEFORE?!!" The tailed being smiled.
"NOPE!! HAVE YOU?!!
"NO!! I THOUGHT YOU KNEW HOW TO DO IT!!"
"SHIMATTTTTA....." The bubble-wave of doom they were responsible for creating engulfed the two writers and surged forward, mercifully depositing them in a high tree branch. Maelgwyn looked around.
"Where the heck is CW?!!
"Ib...herbe..." A muffled cry came from inside the Author's armour.
"Eh?" Gingerly, Maelgwyn retrieved a rather peeved off muse with a mouth full of bubbles.
"Ehehe....sorry about that CW...." Phoenix said awkwardly. CW glared at her, then at Maelgwn, back at her again, and then at a two foot high Smurf who was (for the moment) filling in for the missing Tarka.
It filled the air....tension....it was so thick, you could cut it with-
"IT'S SNOWING BUBBLES!!" Phoenix yelled, knocking them all from their perch.
"Bubbles, bubbles, everywhere!!!" She sang happily before diving into a deep drift, disappearing.
"CW, do you know where she went?" Maelgwyn glanced uneasily around, expecting a surprise attack at any moment. CW looked gave a look of: If-I-knew-I-would-have-already-killed-her. Scary jaws music filters out from nowhere. Duuuu-nuh. Duuuu-nuh...duh-nuh,duh-nuh!!! As the music reached a climax, Maelgywn yelled bloody murder. Phoenix pounced on him from behind, burying the innocent person up to his ears. She growled in victory, only to find her legs kicked out from underneath her. Blinks were shared by all, then maniacal laughter, enough to make the folks at the loony bin look like regular, sane people. The Smurf stood on-top of the bubble/snow and watched the show apprehensively. It gasped and stumbled back a few feet when Maelgwyn, Phoenix and CW wore identical evil smirks on their faces, and began to creep very slowly towards it- hands out stretched...
It squealed, and ran for it's own dear life.
"COME BACK 'LIL SMURFIE!!!! COME BAACK!!"
"AWWW!!! WE ONLY WANNA TORTURE YOU!!! IT WON'T HURT THAT MUCH!!!"
But the sensible blue midget paid no heed, and ran into the sunset, out of the story.
A/N:
*phe holds out her hand to Tyger* welll? *smirks* I don't care if you want to kill me, one candy-cane!
to Maelgwyn-kun: errrrr.......*cough* well....there you....have...it...^_^ if you don't like it, or have suggestions, email and i'll change it....
to Wolfpup: *phe shakes her head* Thou should not have set the magical leprechauns upon me when i was in an other-than-normal state! *looks outside, and ashes are floating down gently* ^_^() ehehe.......don't worry about not being able to join in!! your reviews are still very special and highly valued.
*Mirai Trunks reads the completed chapter and unties Phe-chan from the keyboard*
*Phe-chan rubs her sore eyes and wrists*
THERE!!! I DO SO HOPE YOUR'RE KAMI-DAMNED HAPPY TYGER!!!! (add sarcasm)
*Mirai Trunks and Gohan smirk*
Phe-chan: You wipe those looks off your faces!!
*Gohan and Trunks whistle innocently*
Phe-chan: Gahhhh!!!! *hits Gohan*
Gohan: Owww! Why didn't you do that to Trunks?!!
*Phe-chan smiles at Mirai*
*Mirai smirks at Gohan*
*Gohan's eye begins to twitch...*
*Vegeta who is lying comatose on the floor coughs*
Gohan: Man, is he still here?
Vegeta:*mumbles in his sleep* Kill....I....will ....KILL THEM ALL!! mwehehehe.....
Gohan: Errr...Trunks, shouldn't we be slightly disturbed?
Mirai : Hmmm? Nah....I usually just ignore him....uhh.....where did Phe-chan go?
*both frantically search the room*
*Gohan clings to Mirai*
*sniff* I'm afraid!!
*Mirai pats Gohan*
There, there. We all are.
*Demonic laughter reverberates off the walls....*
Gohan: Maybe reviews will stop this madness!!!! For the love of Kami, REVIEW!!!
A note to everyone out there:
I will be taking a break from writing for a few weeks....school starts next week *shudder* and i've got my saiya-jin/ elf mits on a huge canvas/board type thing with a frame! *breaks out the paints and brushes and looks around the room*
Gohan? Mirai-kun? Wanna pose?!
