A/N: This is set about a month after he proposed, just so you know!
Luvs Elfie xXxXx
Chapter 14
"ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!" The scream ripped through the whole house, deafening all.
"Robyn, calm down, it's just a little rip," said Michele, trying to calm her hysterical daughter and failing miserably. It was the night before the wedding. Everything had been going smoothly until Mary-Jo moved the wedding dress. A loose thread had caught on the table and now the seam on one side of the skirt was completely undone.
"Think of it this way," said Tracey. "At least Ash has less work to do now." Michelle and Robyn glared at her. "Well, he has."
"You're not helping in the slightest," growled Robyn.
"Well, excuuuuuuuuse me!" she said, and walked off in a huff.
"What in the name of Eru are we going to do?!?!?!" cried Robyn. "The wedding is in 14 hours time. Who is going to get the whole seam stitched up, overnight, without anyone being able to tell it ever ripped in the first place?!?!?!"
"I could do it," said Mary-Jo.
"What?" aid Robyn and Michelle in chorus.
"I could do it," she repeated. They started to snigger. "You can laugh all you want. I happen to be very good sewing."
"Right, er, and you expect me to let you near my wedding dress with a needle and thread because...?" said Robyn.
"I made the top I'm wearing," she replied. She smiled smugly as she watched their faces drop. The top looked shop bought. They had both seen that top many times and they had presumed she'd bought it.
"Oh. My. Eru," said Michelle.
"Where's the needle and thread?" said Robyn, suddenly realising that her saviour was standing before her very eyes and she was doing nothing about it.
Mary-Jo worked long into the night, trying to get the seam perfect. Three... four... five... six times she sewed it up and unpicked it again. On the seventh attempt, she finally got it right. Sure it was four in the morning and it had taken seven tries to get it right, but that wasn't the point.
"Mary-Jo, you don't know how much I love you right now!" squealed Robyn excitedly when she saw it was finished.
"Come on now," said Michelle. "You're getting married in six hours time and you've had no sleep. What time shall I wake you?"
"Well, I need at least two hours," yawned Robyn.
"You need more than two hours sleep!" said Mary-Jo.
"No, two hours to get ready," she said.
"Oh. I knew that."
"Shall I get you up at eight then?" asked Michelle.
"Please," said Robyn and she went up to bed.
The next morning all was well again. Robyn looked even more dazzling than she usually did and all her bridesmaids had turned up and were ready. Saying she was excited was an understatement.
"I can't believe it, mom," she said, almost in tears. "I'm getting married!" Michelle was in floods of tears (much to Tracey's annoyance as she was doing the make-up again).
"My little girl," she sobbed. "All grown up!"
"Are you ready to go?" said Tracey. She was taking control since Michelle was too hysterical to do so.
"Yeah, but I don't want to go yet," said the blushing bride.
"Why?" asked Tracey. "You're not having second thoughts, are you?"
"No, nothing like that," she said. "It's just it's the bride's prerogative to be late and I want to stress his head a little. Anyone for a cuppa?"
At not quite ten o'clock, they made their way to the City Square. When they arrived they found complete chaos and confusion. Aragorn was at the front arguing with someone not known to anyone else.
"I'm sorry," said Aragorn. "You're going to have to either wait until later on today, or re-book the Square for another day."
"I booked the Square three months ago!" cried the outraged man. "We should get the Square first!"
"No, the King's friends should get the Square first," said Michelle, forcing her way over to Aragorn and the random bloke. "We're more important!"
"What kind of system is this?" said the random bloke.
"There's a system?" said Michelle.
"What kind of society are we that let nobility and friends of the King have privileges... hang on. I'm not really standing here shouting at the king, am I?" he said.
"Yes," said Aragorn and Michelle together,
"Uh-oh!" And with that, he ran away screaming.
"Well, that sorted itself out pretty well, I think," said Michelle. "Anyway, let's try again." She walked back over to Robyn and led her to the slightly raised platform in the middle of the Square.
Robyn could have screamed, again. 'Perhaps my family are just doomed to have filed wedding days,' she thought. 'Please Eru, don't let there be any more problems!' She stood beside Ash in front of her Aragorn, her family and the rest of Minas Tirith.
"As the law states," said Aragorn, "this marriage cannot continue henceforth if anyone knows of any lawful reason why these two people should not be bound. Speak now if you will or forever hold your peace." The crowd remained deathly silent for many long seconds. Robyn was dreading to here a voice suddenly cry out with a reason. She envisioned Becky escaping again and coming to get Ash.
"Very well," said Aragorn, breaking the silence. Robyn sighed. "Then let the father of the bride step forward and give away his daughter." Legolas stepped forward and took Robyn's hand.
"I'm proud of you," he whispered. Just as he was about to place her hand in Ash's, an almighty "OI!!!" was heard from the back of the crowd.
"That's my job!" yelled Paul, forcing his way through the crowd to get to the front. "I'm her father!"
"Eww! You're not touching me!" cried Robyn.
"Then you're not getting married," he said.
"You can't stop me!" she said.
"I am right now," he said smugly. She couldn't think of a way of retaliating to that so she turned to Legolas.
"Dad, tell him!" she whined.
"You haven't been her father for 15 years," said Legolas.
"Neither have you!" said Paul.
"No, but I have been for the past 3½ months. And I was for two months after she was born. And she calls me dad," said Legolas.
"But I'm her biological father," said Paul.
"Why don't you both bloody well give me away and be done with it?!" said Robyn irritably.
"Wouldn't that make you married twice?" shouted Mary-Jo from the crowd.
"That's bigamy!" shouted Tracey.
"But she's marrying the same person," said Mary-Jo.
"That doesn't matter, its still bigamy," said Tracey.
"WILL SOMEONE MAKE A DECISION?!?!?!" yelled Robyn. Michelle turned to Aragorn.
"Aragorn, you decide," she said. "You're King."
"Er, yeah," he said, uncomfortably. "What I say, goes. Er.... bye!" He made an attempt to run away but Michelle grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him back.
"Make a decision," she growled.
"What do you want me to say?" he squeaked.
"Legolas, of course," she said.
"Legolas is the dad," he said.
"Well done," said Michelle. "You know it makes sense."
"That's not fair!" said Paul. "You were pressurized into that! In fact, she made that decision for you! That's bias!"
"Don't start that again!" shouted Kathrine.
"OK," said Aragorn. "Where were we?"
"Hand," sighed Robyn, on the verge of tears. 'Definitely doomed.'
"Oh yes. Let the father of the bride step forward and give away his daughter." Legolas took her hand again and was about to place it in Ash's, when they got another distraction.
"There you are!" cried a high-pitched, female voice. "I've been looking for you for AGES!!!" Robyn sighed again, but this time angrily as all heads turned to see the new arrival. Every single one of them was shocked. It was the one and only Maria. Mary-Jo and Frodo sank very low so that their heads were no longer visible. Michelle stared at her younger sister.
"Where in the name of Eru have you been?!?!?!" she cried. She was neither excited nor disappointed, just plain damn shocked.
"In the undying lands, looking for them pair," replied Maria, pointing in Mary-Jo and Frodo's former direction. "Oh look, their heads have disappeared. You wanna get that looked at. Is there a doctor in the house........... Square?" Robyn was staring at the new comer intently. Evidently most people knew her, but who the hell was she? Maria felt the eyes boring into the back of her head and she turned to look at Robyn. Eventually they both turned to Michelle.
"Who is this?" they said together.
"Your aunt," she said to Robyn. "Your niece," she said to Maria.
"No, this," said Maria, pointing to Robyn.
"Your niece," repeated Michelle.
"It can't be," said Maria. "The last time I saw her she was a little, red, screamy thingy!"
"You've been gone for fifteen years, you've got to expect some differences."
"Have I?!?!" she said. "Cor blimey! Doesn't time fly! Anyway, she's too young to marry. That's sick! How old is he then?" She looked at Ash and a huge grin spread across her face. "Ooh, hello." Ash turned to Michelle.
"She looks about twelve," he said monotonously.
"She's twenty-seven," said Michelle.
"Am I?" said Maria. That was too much for Ash. He cracked up, fell over and curled up into a ball, laughing silently.
"By the way, I married Legolas," said Michelle, ignoring Ash's randomness. Maria grabbed Michelle's hand and shook it firmly.
"Well done," she said, seriously. "I always knew you'd get taste in the end. He's way better than that freakish Paul guy you went out with." She looked to her right and waved. "Hi Paul!"
"Believe it or not, I'd like to get married sometime today," said Robyn, exasperatedly.
"On the subject of marriage," Sam shouted from the crowd (he decided to stay because Frodo was). "Maria, did you know Mary-Jo and Frodo are married?" Maria's eyes narrowed into venomous slits in her head as she turned her gaze on Mary-Jo, who was standing behind Frodo for protection.
"Well done, Sam," said Frodo. "You just had to open your big mouth, didn't you?!" Sam grinned broadly back at his former master.
Robyn was beginning to get ever so slightly pissed off at the fact that her wedding was falling to pieces around her. She looked at her mom.
"Who did you say she was?" she asked.
"Your aunt," said Michelle.
"She can't be," said Robyn.
"She is. She's my younger sister," said Michelle.
"But she looks younger than me! She can't be. Unless Granddad has been up to some hanky panky."
"I haven't!" said Faramir.
"You better not have," said Éowyn.
"He might have," said Maria. "Oh wait, you're talking about me, aren't you?" (A/N: -_-)
"I haven't done anything!" said Faramir, defensively. "And it would only be with you anyway," he added to Éowyn.
"Eww!!!" cried Maria, Michelle and Robyn at the same time.
Meanwhile, Ash was still rolling round on the floor, laughing. You know, honey, it really wasn't that funny. Anyway, Legolas noticed this and started to feel majorly pissed of for Robyn.
"Get up, you freak!" he said, whilst hauling Ash onto his feet.
"You mean we actually get to finish the wedding?" said Robyn, half sarcastically and half excited. "We were at the hand bit before you ask," she said to Aragorn.
"Yeah, Legolas, do your stuff," said Aragorn. (A/N: O_o) Legolas finally placed Robyn's hand into a still giggling Ash's.
"There now," said Robyn. "That wasn't so hard was it?"
"I think that was the longest marriage, of its kind, in the history of Gondor," said Aragorn.
"Hey, I'm married!" said Robyn. "WOO HOO!!!"
"Let's have a party!" said Maria.
"Sounds good to me!" said Michelle.
*************
A/N: And you thought Michelle's was bad! So what do you think? Quite a fitting title, wouldn't you say? Hey, why don't you just review me and let me know what you think?! Yeah, that's a really good idea! *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* And did you all know I've started a new fic? It is called Silvawen. It's about the character based on me (though I think you probably guessed that). Thanks to Mojo who is my first reviewer for it! Ta bab! Anyway, I'll go type some other chapter for which I decide to write next! Cyber hugs to y'all! Especially you, Tafi! Luvs Elfie xXxXx PS. Guess what? It's R/N time! WOO HOO! Anyway...:
Morgaine: Howdy, nice to have you back! Haven't heard from you in a while! Hmmm, so I guess you want me to write then, do you? Well, here it is? Was I really that evil to Robyn in this?
Rose/Alex: Er... which would you like me to call you? Anyway, all I'll say is: yes, miss. Was this 'back together' enough for you?
Megan: Well, I hope I didn't disappoint. I did leave it at a bit of a cliffhanger on ch.9 though didn't I? Hehehe! I like being evil! So much fun!
Rath: I'm sorry! I did apologise before!!! I know you were looking forward to it, but we can't all get what we want in life! I know, it's a shame, isn't it? But go me for having will power! I did something I didn't want to do! WOO HOO! Go me!
Ow my brain: *trembles whilst reading review* great things? Well, don't get your hopes up too high, I may shatter your expectations. *reads next one* Oh, ok, maybe I wont' then. Thank you!
Mojo: I know, poor Chelle. But she's going to be a Nan so she's got to have some free time. Do you think it's just us Brits that have an odd sense of humour?
And last, but most definitely not least, TAFI: I'm going to send yours in an email, because it is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long to write to at 6:21am. Thank you for taking the time for some nice long reviews, I will soon take the time to write a nice long r/n! Speak to you soon!
Luvs Elfie xXxXx
Chapter 14
"ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!" The scream ripped through the whole house, deafening all.
"Robyn, calm down, it's just a little rip," said Michele, trying to calm her hysterical daughter and failing miserably. It was the night before the wedding. Everything had been going smoothly until Mary-Jo moved the wedding dress. A loose thread had caught on the table and now the seam on one side of the skirt was completely undone.
"Think of it this way," said Tracey. "At least Ash has less work to do now." Michelle and Robyn glared at her. "Well, he has."
"You're not helping in the slightest," growled Robyn.
"Well, excuuuuuuuuse me!" she said, and walked off in a huff.
"What in the name of Eru are we going to do?!?!?!" cried Robyn. "The wedding is in 14 hours time. Who is going to get the whole seam stitched up, overnight, without anyone being able to tell it ever ripped in the first place?!?!?!"
"I could do it," said Mary-Jo.
"What?" aid Robyn and Michelle in chorus.
"I could do it," she repeated. They started to snigger. "You can laugh all you want. I happen to be very good sewing."
"Right, er, and you expect me to let you near my wedding dress with a needle and thread because...?" said Robyn.
"I made the top I'm wearing," she replied. She smiled smugly as she watched their faces drop. The top looked shop bought. They had both seen that top many times and they had presumed she'd bought it.
"Oh. My. Eru," said Michelle.
"Where's the needle and thread?" said Robyn, suddenly realising that her saviour was standing before her very eyes and she was doing nothing about it.
Mary-Jo worked long into the night, trying to get the seam perfect. Three... four... five... six times she sewed it up and unpicked it again. On the seventh attempt, she finally got it right. Sure it was four in the morning and it had taken seven tries to get it right, but that wasn't the point.
"Mary-Jo, you don't know how much I love you right now!" squealed Robyn excitedly when she saw it was finished.
"Come on now," said Michelle. "You're getting married in six hours time and you've had no sleep. What time shall I wake you?"
"Well, I need at least two hours," yawned Robyn.
"You need more than two hours sleep!" said Mary-Jo.
"No, two hours to get ready," she said.
"Oh. I knew that."
"Shall I get you up at eight then?" asked Michelle.
"Please," said Robyn and she went up to bed.
The next morning all was well again. Robyn looked even more dazzling than she usually did and all her bridesmaids had turned up and were ready. Saying she was excited was an understatement.
"I can't believe it, mom," she said, almost in tears. "I'm getting married!" Michelle was in floods of tears (much to Tracey's annoyance as she was doing the make-up again).
"My little girl," she sobbed. "All grown up!"
"Are you ready to go?" said Tracey. She was taking control since Michelle was too hysterical to do so.
"Yeah, but I don't want to go yet," said the blushing bride.
"Why?" asked Tracey. "You're not having second thoughts, are you?"
"No, nothing like that," she said. "It's just it's the bride's prerogative to be late and I want to stress his head a little. Anyone for a cuppa?"
At not quite ten o'clock, they made their way to the City Square. When they arrived they found complete chaos and confusion. Aragorn was at the front arguing with someone not known to anyone else.
"I'm sorry," said Aragorn. "You're going to have to either wait until later on today, or re-book the Square for another day."
"I booked the Square three months ago!" cried the outraged man. "We should get the Square first!"
"No, the King's friends should get the Square first," said Michelle, forcing her way over to Aragorn and the random bloke. "We're more important!"
"What kind of system is this?" said the random bloke.
"There's a system?" said Michelle.
"What kind of society are we that let nobility and friends of the King have privileges... hang on. I'm not really standing here shouting at the king, am I?" he said.
"Yes," said Aragorn and Michelle together,
"Uh-oh!" And with that, he ran away screaming.
"Well, that sorted itself out pretty well, I think," said Michelle. "Anyway, let's try again." She walked back over to Robyn and led her to the slightly raised platform in the middle of the Square.
Robyn could have screamed, again. 'Perhaps my family are just doomed to have filed wedding days,' she thought. 'Please Eru, don't let there be any more problems!' She stood beside Ash in front of her Aragorn, her family and the rest of Minas Tirith.
"As the law states," said Aragorn, "this marriage cannot continue henceforth if anyone knows of any lawful reason why these two people should not be bound. Speak now if you will or forever hold your peace." The crowd remained deathly silent for many long seconds. Robyn was dreading to here a voice suddenly cry out with a reason. She envisioned Becky escaping again and coming to get Ash.
"Very well," said Aragorn, breaking the silence. Robyn sighed. "Then let the father of the bride step forward and give away his daughter." Legolas stepped forward and took Robyn's hand.
"I'm proud of you," he whispered. Just as he was about to place her hand in Ash's, an almighty "OI!!!" was heard from the back of the crowd.
"That's my job!" yelled Paul, forcing his way through the crowd to get to the front. "I'm her father!"
"Eww! You're not touching me!" cried Robyn.
"Then you're not getting married," he said.
"You can't stop me!" she said.
"I am right now," he said smugly. She couldn't think of a way of retaliating to that so she turned to Legolas.
"Dad, tell him!" she whined.
"You haven't been her father for 15 years," said Legolas.
"Neither have you!" said Paul.
"No, but I have been for the past 3½ months. And I was for two months after she was born. And she calls me dad," said Legolas.
"But I'm her biological father," said Paul.
"Why don't you both bloody well give me away and be done with it?!" said Robyn irritably.
"Wouldn't that make you married twice?" shouted Mary-Jo from the crowd.
"That's bigamy!" shouted Tracey.
"But she's marrying the same person," said Mary-Jo.
"That doesn't matter, its still bigamy," said Tracey.
"WILL SOMEONE MAKE A DECISION?!?!?!" yelled Robyn. Michelle turned to Aragorn.
"Aragorn, you decide," she said. "You're King."
"Er, yeah," he said, uncomfortably. "What I say, goes. Er.... bye!" He made an attempt to run away but Michelle grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him back.
"Make a decision," she growled.
"What do you want me to say?" he squeaked.
"Legolas, of course," she said.
"Legolas is the dad," he said.
"Well done," said Michelle. "You know it makes sense."
"That's not fair!" said Paul. "You were pressurized into that! In fact, she made that decision for you! That's bias!"
"Don't start that again!" shouted Kathrine.
"OK," said Aragorn. "Where were we?"
"Hand," sighed Robyn, on the verge of tears. 'Definitely doomed.'
"Oh yes. Let the father of the bride step forward and give away his daughter." Legolas took her hand again and was about to place it in Ash's, when they got another distraction.
"There you are!" cried a high-pitched, female voice. "I've been looking for you for AGES!!!" Robyn sighed again, but this time angrily as all heads turned to see the new arrival. Every single one of them was shocked. It was the one and only Maria. Mary-Jo and Frodo sank very low so that their heads were no longer visible. Michelle stared at her younger sister.
"Where in the name of Eru have you been?!?!?!" she cried. She was neither excited nor disappointed, just plain damn shocked.
"In the undying lands, looking for them pair," replied Maria, pointing in Mary-Jo and Frodo's former direction. "Oh look, their heads have disappeared. You wanna get that looked at. Is there a doctor in the house........... Square?" Robyn was staring at the new comer intently. Evidently most people knew her, but who the hell was she? Maria felt the eyes boring into the back of her head and she turned to look at Robyn. Eventually they both turned to Michelle.
"Who is this?" they said together.
"Your aunt," she said to Robyn. "Your niece," she said to Maria.
"No, this," said Maria, pointing to Robyn.
"Your niece," repeated Michelle.
"It can't be," said Maria. "The last time I saw her she was a little, red, screamy thingy!"
"You've been gone for fifteen years, you've got to expect some differences."
"Have I?!?!" she said. "Cor blimey! Doesn't time fly! Anyway, she's too young to marry. That's sick! How old is he then?" She looked at Ash and a huge grin spread across her face. "Ooh, hello." Ash turned to Michelle.
"She looks about twelve," he said monotonously.
"She's twenty-seven," said Michelle.
"Am I?" said Maria. That was too much for Ash. He cracked up, fell over and curled up into a ball, laughing silently.
"By the way, I married Legolas," said Michelle, ignoring Ash's randomness. Maria grabbed Michelle's hand and shook it firmly.
"Well done," she said, seriously. "I always knew you'd get taste in the end. He's way better than that freakish Paul guy you went out with." She looked to her right and waved. "Hi Paul!"
"Believe it or not, I'd like to get married sometime today," said Robyn, exasperatedly.
"On the subject of marriage," Sam shouted from the crowd (he decided to stay because Frodo was). "Maria, did you know Mary-Jo and Frodo are married?" Maria's eyes narrowed into venomous slits in her head as she turned her gaze on Mary-Jo, who was standing behind Frodo for protection.
"Well done, Sam," said Frodo. "You just had to open your big mouth, didn't you?!" Sam grinned broadly back at his former master.
Robyn was beginning to get ever so slightly pissed off at the fact that her wedding was falling to pieces around her. She looked at her mom.
"Who did you say she was?" she asked.
"Your aunt," said Michelle.
"She can't be," said Robyn.
"She is. She's my younger sister," said Michelle.
"But she looks younger than me! She can't be. Unless Granddad has been up to some hanky panky."
"I haven't!" said Faramir.
"You better not have," said Éowyn.
"He might have," said Maria. "Oh wait, you're talking about me, aren't you?" (A/N: -_-)
"I haven't done anything!" said Faramir, defensively. "And it would only be with you anyway," he added to Éowyn.
"Eww!!!" cried Maria, Michelle and Robyn at the same time.
Meanwhile, Ash was still rolling round on the floor, laughing. You know, honey, it really wasn't that funny. Anyway, Legolas noticed this and started to feel majorly pissed of for Robyn.
"Get up, you freak!" he said, whilst hauling Ash onto his feet.
"You mean we actually get to finish the wedding?" said Robyn, half sarcastically and half excited. "We were at the hand bit before you ask," she said to Aragorn.
"Yeah, Legolas, do your stuff," said Aragorn. (A/N: O_o) Legolas finally placed Robyn's hand into a still giggling Ash's.
"There now," said Robyn. "That wasn't so hard was it?"
"I think that was the longest marriage, of its kind, in the history of Gondor," said Aragorn.
"Hey, I'm married!" said Robyn. "WOO HOO!!!"
"Let's have a party!" said Maria.
"Sounds good to me!" said Michelle.
*************
A/N: And you thought Michelle's was bad! So what do you think? Quite a fitting title, wouldn't you say? Hey, why don't you just review me and let me know what you think?! Yeah, that's a really good idea! *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* And did you all know I've started a new fic? It is called Silvawen. It's about the character based on me (though I think you probably guessed that). Thanks to Mojo who is my first reviewer for it! Ta bab! Anyway, I'll go type some other chapter for which I decide to write next! Cyber hugs to y'all! Especially you, Tafi! Luvs Elfie xXxXx PS. Guess what? It's R/N time! WOO HOO! Anyway...:
Morgaine: Howdy, nice to have you back! Haven't heard from you in a while! Hmmm, so I guess you want me to write then, do you? Well, here it is? Was I really that evil to Robyn in this?
Rose/Alex: Er... which would you like me to call you? Anyway, all I'll say is: yes, miss. Was this 'back together' enough for you?
Megan: Well, I hope I didn't disappoint. I did leave it at a bit of a cliffhanger on ch.9 though didn't I? Hehehe! I like being evil! So much fun!
Rath: I'm sorry! I did apologise before!!! I know you were looking forward to it, but we can't all get what we want in life! I know, it's a shame, isn't it? But go me for having will power! I did something I didn't want to do! WOO HOO! Go me!
Ow my brain: *trembles whilst reading review* great things? Well, don't get your hopes up too high, I may shatter your expectations. *reads next one* Oh, ok, maybe I wont' then. Thank you!
Mojo: I know, poor Chelle. But she's going to be a Nan so she's got to have some free time. Do you think it's just us Brits that have an odd sense of humour?
And last, but most definitely not least, TAFI: I'm going to send yours in an email, because it is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long to write to at 6:21am. Thank you for taking the time for some nice long reviews, I will soon take the time to write a nice long r/n! Speak to you soon!
