A/N: There's a saying in this chapter that I heard the other day and I love
it! It's such a typical Granddad saying! That's the reason I put it in. And
I've purposely made Faramir quite Granddaddy to Robyn because I just
thought it'd be funny.
Blaise: What's the point though?
Elfie: Its called humour.
Blaise: But it isn't funny.
Elfie: Oh, shut up and let them read the damn chapter.
Blaise: *silent*
Elfie: *shocked* Thank you.
Chapter 16
It was the Middle of April and Robyn's baby had been due about the start of March. Faramir, being a man, was having a stress attack about the child being overdue.
"What do you mean she still hasn't had it yet?!" said Faramir. "It was due a month ago!"
"Dad, just chill a bit," said Michelle. "Babies don't always arrive on time, you know. They are sometimes overdue."
"But, a month?" he said.
"Yes, Dad, it's not uncommon," she said.
"But I've been gone since the wedding and there's absolutely nothing at all!" he said.
"She will have the baby any day soon," she said. "I wish you would all stop getting so worked up." Ash and Legolas' reactions were beginning to be the same. 'Why isn't it here yet?' 'Is it ok?' 'Is this natural?' 'Is Robyn ok?' Nobody wanted to ask Robyn in case she got too stressed, so all the dumbass questions were being fired at Michelle.
"How can you be sure?" said Faramir.
"Look, don't ask the question if you don't like the answer," snapped Michelle.
"I think someone else needs to calm down a little too," said Faramir.
"Too right I bloody do!" said Michelle. "I've been one hand 24 hours a day since the start of March, should she have gone into labour. I've had about 3 hours sleep or less each night and I also have to look after Robyn during the day. To be perfectly honest, I'm getting a little bit annoyed with the stupid, petty questions you men keep firing at me. You're not the only one's who are stressed, you know! Will this bloody baby EVER arrive?!"
"Are you quite finished?" said Faramir.
"Finished?!" cried Michelle. "You'll know when I'm bloody finished! I collapse from bloody exhaustion when I'm finished! Robyn may be pregnant, but she's not the only person that needs looking after. She's not the one running round doing errands, sending messages, getting food, cleaning the house-"
"Michelle, sit down and shut up before you do yourself a mischief," said Faramir. "We do all appreciate your efforts recently and I apologise on behalf of everyone for not showing it. Is that better?" She looked at her father and smiled.
"Sorry Dad," she said.
"It's ok," he said. "We're all tense, but I realise that you and Robyn are probably feeling the strain the most."
"If you saw the treatment Robyn's been getting recently, you wouldn't think that," said Michelle. "Aragorn has been treating her like his own daughter, Mary-Jo is broody and so spends all her time with Robyn, Legolas has been at her every beck and call, I've been on standby incase she goes into labour and don't really know what has actually happened to Gandalf and Gimli. But, anyway, she has been treated like she's royalty."
"She is, pretty much," said Faramir. Michelle scowled.
"You know what I mean," she said. "She's been living in a lap of luxury, with absolutely no stress or tension."
"Well, it doesn't really matter who's stressed and who isn't, I wold just like to see, if that's at all possible," said Faramir,
"Not at the moment," came a voice from the doorway. The father and daughter looked round. Legolas stood in the doorway. "She's just gone into labour."
"Perhaps you should rant and rave about things more often, Michelle," said Faramir. "It seems to do the trick."
"Don't tell her that!" said Legolas. "She's bad enough as it is."
"Can we just go, please?" said Michelle.
They reached the Houses of Healing. It was amazingly quiet considering Robyn was giving birth. The three entered the room in which Robyn was staying to find her sitting reading a book and Ash slumped in a chair.
"Funny looking baby," said Michelle. Robyn looked up.
"Hiya Mom," she said. "Hi Dad. Hi Granddad, nice to see you back again."
"Er.... baby?" said Legolas.
"Oh, it was a false alarm," said Ash. "She just had a bit of indigestion."
"You had us run all the way here for a bit of indigestion?!" said Michelle to Legolas, angrily.
"Don't blame me," said Legolas, defensively. "I was told to come and tell you she was going into labour."
"You could have made sure before did anything," said Faramir.
"It's not my fault," said Legolas.
"It isn't his fault, Mom," said Robyn. "I told him to go and get you."
"Well, make sure next time," said Faramir. "Anyway, poppet, how are you? Are you keeping well?" Michelle scowled. 'He never used to call me anything like that,' she thought.
"Yep, I'm fine Granddad," said Robyn. "But I've missed you. I haven't seen you for ages."
"I know, I'm sorry," he said. "I'm back for a while now though."
"Ouch!" said Robyn, rather loudly.
"What have you done?" said Michelle.
"I think it's starting..." said Robyn. "It is!"
"Are you sure it's not indigestion again?" said Ash.
"My waters have broken," said Robyn, becoming breathless.
"Are you sure?" said Legolas.
"Of course she's sure, idiot!" said Michelle. "Dad, Legolas, get out of here!" Faramir left quickly.
"Why not Ash?" said Legolas.
"Because he's the father, stupid," said Michelle.
"Well, I'm about to be a sort of grandfather, I think I should stay," said Legolas.
"Do what you want, but don't say I didn't warn you," said Michelle. "Ash, hold her hand. Legolas take mine."
///FLASHBACK///
"One more push Michelle!" said Tracey, excitedly.
"You said that an hour ago!" moaned Legolas. "I can't even feel my hand anymore!"
"I mean it this time!" Tears began to roll down Tracey's face. "It's a girl." She wrapped it in a towel and handed the baby to Michelle. "Congratulations!" Legolas was hopping around the room, nursing his hand.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"
"Let me have a look." Said Tracey. She examined his hand and a look of shock spread across her face. "I think you've broken every bone in his hand!"
"He'll get over it." She said, unenthusiastically.
///END OF FLASHBACK///
"Ash, I seriously suggest you don't do that," said Legolas. "She won't appreciate your suffering."
"Ash, I seriously suggest you do," said Michelle. "She'll kill you if you don't."
"WILL SOMEONE HOLD MY BLOODY HAND?!?!?!" screamed Robyn, slightly deafening Legolas for a few seconds.
"On your own head be it," said Legolas, loudly. Ash gritted his teeth and took her hand. She held it firmly, but not painfully.
"This isn't bad," said Ash, wondering what all the fuss was about.
"You wait until the contractions kick in," said Legolas. As he said it, Robyn had a contraction and managed to pretty much crush Ash's hand.
"OWWWWW!!!" he cried.
"Shut up, you wimp!" said Michelle. "You don't know what pain is. You try being in her position."
"No thank you," he squeaked. "This is enough for me!"
"I told you," said Legolas.
"If it hurts, (A/N: If? Why do peeps always say that?) just squeeze my hand, ok? As hard as you like. Ooh, you bitch! I didn't mean that hard!!!" said Michelle. Legolas began to slowly back away. "Don't think you're getting away with it!" She got one of Legolas' hands. "If I have to suffer, so do you!"
"Oh no, not aga-OWWWWW!!!"
Several slow and painful hours passed. The two men eventually got used to the pain, but it didn't stop them from crying out every now and then. Finally, after 16 hours, Robyn gave birth to a boy. Michelle started to cry.
"Oh my..." she said. "I'm a grandmother. I have a grandson."
"I'm a Dad," said Ash, softly.
"OH MY ERU!!!" shouted Legolas. "There's another one!!!"
"What?!" said Michelle and Ash.
"Why me?!" cried Robyn.
"I can see its head!" said Michelle. "Come on, Rob! A few more pushes! Don't listen to them!" Legolas and Ash were whining with pain again. "Come on! Just a few more pushes!"
"Hurry up!" moaned Legolas.
"My poor hand!" squeaked Ash.
"You think you've got it bad!!!" said Michelle. "One more push, Rob, you're nearly there!"
"I bloody hope so!" said Legolas.
"It's a girl," said Michelle, when the baby was finally delivered. Legolas and Ash were in the corner nursing their hands.
"I'm a mother," whispered Robyn. "To twins."
"Ash, get you're scrawny ass over here now," ordered Michelle. "Come and take a look at your children." He came over and took one of the twins from Robyn. He looked at the little boy and gasped.
"Oh my Eru," he whispered. "You're my little boy."
*****************
A/N: Yes, it's a lame ending, I don't care. But, overall, what did you think? Did it make up for the lack of updates recently? I hope so. Luvs Elfie xXxXx
Blaise: What's the point though?
Elfie: Its called humour.
Blaise: But it isn't funny.
Elfie: Oh, shut up and let them read the damn chapter.
Blaise: *silent*
Elfie: *shocked* Thank you.
Chapter 16
It was the Middle of April and Robyn's baby had been due about the start of March. Faramir, being a man, was having a stress attack about the child being overdue.
"What do you mean she still hasn't had it yet?!" said Faramir. "It was due a month ago!"
"Dad, just chill a bit," said Michelle. "Babies don't always arrive on time, you know. They are sometimes overdue."
"But, a month?" he said.
"Yes, Dad, it's not uncommon," she said.
"But I've been gone since the wedding and there's absolutely nothing at all!" he said.
"She will have the baby any day soon," she said. "I wish you would all stop getting so worked up." Ash and Legolas' reactions were beginning to be the same. 'Why isn't it here yet?' 'Is it ok?' 'Is this natural?' 'Is Robyn ok?' Nobody wanted to ask Robyn in case she got too stressed, so all the dumbass questions were being fired at Michelle.
"How can you be sure?" said Faramir.
"Look, don't ask the question if you don't like the answer," snapped Michelle.
"I think someone else needs to calm down a little too," said Faramir.
"Too right I bloody do!" said Michelle. "I've been one hand 24 hours a day since the start of March, should she have gone into labour. I've had about 3 hours sleep or less each night and I also have to look after Robyn during the day. To be perfectly honest, I'm getting a little bit annoyed with the stupid, petty questions you men keep firing at me. You're not the only one's who are stressed, you know! Will this bloody baby EVER arrive?!"
"Are you quite finished?" said Faramir.
"Finished?!" cried Michelle. "You'll know when I'm bloody finished! I collapse from bloody exhaustion when I'm finished! Robyn may be pregnant, but she's not the only person that needs looking after. She's not the one running round doing errands, sending messages, getting food, cleaning the house-"
"Michelle, sit down and shut up before you do yourself a mischief," said Faramir. "We do all appreciate your efforts recently and I apologise on behalf of everyone for not showing it. Is that better?" She looked at her father and smiled.
"Sorry Dad," she said.
"It's ok," he said. "We're all tense, but I realise that you and Robyn are probably feeling the strain the most."
"If you saw the treatment Robyn's been getting recently, you wouldn't think that," said Michelle. "Aragorn has been treating her like his own daughter, Mary-Jo is broody and so spends all her time with Robyn, Legolas has been at her every beck and call, I've been on standby incase she goes into labour and don't really know what has actually happened to Gandalf and Gimli. But, anyway, she has been treated like she's royalty."
"She is, pretty much," said Faramir. Michelle scowled.
"You know what I mean," she said. "She's been living in a lap of luxury, with absolutely no stress or tension."
"Well, it doesn't really matter who's stressed and who isn't, I wold just like to see, if that's at all possible," said Faramir,
"Not at the moment," came a voice from the doorway. The father and daughter looked round. Legolas stood in the doorway. "She's just gone into labour."
"Perhaps you should rant and rave about things more often, Michelle," said Faramir. "It seems to do the trick."
"Don't tell her that!" said Legolas. "She's bad enough as it is."
"Can we just go, please?" said Michelle.
They reached the Houses of Healing. It was amazingly quiet considering Robyn was giving birth. The three entered the room in which Robyn was staying to find her sitting reading a book and Ash slumped in a chair.
"Funny looking baby," said Michelle. Robyn looked up.
"Hiya Mom," she said. "Hi Dad. Hi Granddad, nice to see you back again."
"Er.... baby?" said Legolas.
"Oh, it was a false alarm," said Ash. "She just had a bit of indigestion."
"You had us run all the way here for a bit of indigestion?!" said Michelle to Legolas, angrily.
"Don't blame me," said Legolas, defensively. "I was told to come and tell you she was going into labour."
"You could have made sure before did anything," said Faramir.
"It's not my fault," said Legolas.
"It isn't his fault, Mom," said Robyn. "I told him to go and get you."
"Well, make sure next time," said Faramir. "Anyway, poppet, how are you? Are you keeping well?" Michelle scowled. 'He never used to call me anything like that,' she thought.
"Yep, I'm fine Granddad," said Robyn. "But I've missed you. I haven't seen you for ages."
"I know, I'm sorry," he said. "I'm back for a while now though."
"Ouch!" said Robyn, rather loudly.
"What have you done?" said Michelle.
"I think it's starting..." said Robyn. "It is!"
"Are you sure it's not indigestion again?" said Ash.
"My waters have broken," said Robyn, becoming breathless.
"Are you sure?" said Legolas.
"Of course she's sure, idiot!" said Michelle. "Dad, Legolas, get out of here!" Faramir left quickly.
"Why not Ash?" said Legolas.
"Because he's the father, stupid," said Michelle.
"Well, I'm about to be a sort of grandfather, I think I should stay," said Legolas.
"Do what you want, but don't say I didn't warn you," said Michelle. "Ash, hold her hand. Legolas take mine."
///FLASHBACK///
"One more push Michelle!" said Tracey, excitedly.
"You said that an hour ago!" moaned Legolas. "I can't even feel my hand anymore!"
"I mean it this time!" Tears began to roll down Tracey's face. "It's a girl." She wrapped it in a towel and handed the baby to Michelle. "Congratulations!" Legolas was hopping around the room, nursing his hand.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"
"Let me have a look." Said Tracey. She examined his hand and a look of shock spread across her face. "I think you've broken every bone in his hand!"
"He'll get over it." She said, unenthusiastically.
///END OF FLASHBACK///
"Ash, I seriously suggest you don't do that," said Legolas. "She won't appreciate your suffering."
"Ash, I seriously suggest you do," said Michelle. "She'll kill you if you don't."
"WILL SOMEONE HOLD MY BLOODY HAND?!?!?!" screamed Robyn, slightly deafening Legolas for a few seconds.
"On your own head be it," said Legolas, loudly. Ash gritted his teeth and took her hand. She held it firmly, but not painfully.
"This isn't bad," said Ash, wondering what all the fuss was about.
"You wait until the contractions kick in," said Legolas. As he said it, Robyn had a contraction and managed to pretty much crush Ash's hand.
"OWWWWW!!!" he cried.
"Shut up, you wimp!" said Michelle. "You don't know what pain is. You try being in her position."
"No thank you," he squeaked. "This is enough for me!"
"I told you," said Legolas.
"If it hurts, (A/N: If? Why do peeps always say that?) just squeeze my hand, ok? As hard as you like. Ooh, you bitch! I didn't mean that hard!!!" said Michelle. Legolas began to slowly back away. "Don't think you're getting away with it!" She got one of Legolas' hands. "If I have to suffer, so do you!"
"Oh no, not aga-OWWWWW!!!"
Several slow and painful hours passed. The two men eventually got used to the pain, but it didn't stop them from crying out every now and then. Finally, after 16 hours, Robyn gave birth to a boy. Michelle started to cry.
"Oh my..." she said. "I'm a grandmother. I have a grandson."
"I'm a Dad," said Ash, softly.
"OH MY ERU!!!" shouted Legolas. "There's another one!!!"
"What?!" said Michelle and Ash.
"Why me?!" cried Robyn.
"I can see its head!" said Michelle. "Come on, Rob! A few more pushes! Don't listen to them!" Legolas and Ash were whining with pain again. "Come on! Just a few more pushes!"
"Hurry up!" moaned Legolas.
"My poor hand!" squeaked Ash.
"You think you've got it bad!!!" said Michelle. "One more push, Rob, you're nearly there!"
"I bloody hope so!" said Legolas.
"It's a girl," said Michelle, when the baby was finally delivered. Legolas and Ash were in the corner nursing their hands.
"I'm a mother," whispered Robyn. "To twins."
"Ash, get you're scrawny ass over here now," ordered Michelle. "Come and take a look at your children." He came over and took one of the twins from Robyn. He looked at the little boy and gasped.
"Oh my Eru," he whispered. "You're my little boy."
*****************
A/N: Yes, it's a lame ending, I don't care. But, overall, what did you think? Did it make up for the lack of updates recently? I hope so. Luvs Elfie xXxXx
