Chapter 18
"Why is this decision so damn hard?" said Robyn. "I now too many responsible women.
"Being who?" asked Michelle.
"OI!" said Mary-Jo, indignantly. "I'm responsible." Michele raised an eyebrow.
"Sure you are, Moj," said Michelle, patronisingly. Mary-Jo scowled at her best friend.
"Anyway, moving on," said Robyn. "I need to make this decision."
"Wouldn't it be a better idea to name the children before anything else is decided?" said Legolas.
"ARGH!!!" cried Robyn. "Too many decisions!!!"
"It's only a name," said Maria.
"It's two actually," said Tracey. Robyn let out another stressed shriek.
"Robyn, calm down," said Faramir. "You're going to have a nervous breakdown or something! It's that or wake the children." She took some deep breaths.
"Rob, we can choose a name," said Ash. "I mean two. Damn, that's confusing."
"I'd like something Elvish sounding," said Robyn, completely ignoring her husband. "Not actual Elvish because its too hard to pronounce. But since I can't speak any other language apart from this one, I'm a bit stuck." Legolas smiled and took on his role of Granddad.
"I can help you there," he said. "Along the lines of what?" She frowned slightly.
"Eh?" she said.
"What do you want the name to mean?" he said.
"Oh, er, I don't know," she said. "Something relevant to the child. I get the feeling the boy will take after his father. How about 'the fool'?" Mary-Jo burst out laughing. Ash looked very insulted.
"How rude!" he exclaimed, sounding extraordinarily like a girl. Every one gave him the oddest look, except for Frodo and Pippin who were rolling on the floor laughing.
"I think you married the wrong bloke," giggled Michelle. Ash appeared absolutely horrified that he could do that. He didn't know his voice was capable of going that high.
"Don't say that," said Robyn. "I love him, even if he does sound like a girl."
"Can we just get on with the names now?" said Ash, sulkily. "And I', not gay."
"Oh, get over yourself," said Robyn. "Anyway, where were we?"
"Dalua," said Legolas.
"Same to you," said Michelle.
"No, Dalua, it means 'The Fool'," said Legolas. "And it just so happens that it is a boy's name."
"It is?" said Tracey. "Well, I'm glad you told me that because I wouldn't have guessed otherwise."
"It sounds a bit.... well.... feminine," said Aragorn.
"I like it," said Robyn. "It sweet. And it kinda suits him too."
"Are you saying our son looks gay?" asked Ash.
"No, but it just seems to be right," said Robyn. "Look, just agree with me and be dine with it."
"If our son turns out gay because of the name..." started Ash.
"Don't be so ridiculous," said Mary-Jo. "The kid isn't going to be gay because of a name. Kids turn out gay because of bad parenting." Everyone's faces dropped. She saw it and shrunk back. "Don't they?"
"What in the name of Eru gave you that idea?" said Michelle.
"It was what my mom always told me," said Mary-Jo, scared. "Is that not right?"
"There isn't a reason why," said Tracey. "It just happens."
"Oh. Ok." Mary-Jo blushed deeply. (A/N: I have been ordered to inform you that this is not what the real Mary-Jo thinks. She's not that stupid. Almost, but not quite. ^_~ Luv ya honey!) The hobbits started to giggle and Michelle was shaking with silent laughter.
"Right then, well, we'll just move on, yeah?" said Faramir.
"So, are you calling him Dalua or not?" asked Maria.
"Yes," said Robyn. Ash gave up. He knew he was not going to win. He sighed.
"Yes," he said, exasperatedly. Robyn smiled at him.
"Good," she said. "Now what about our daughter?"
"How about Ceridwen?" said Legolas. "I've been thinking of it for a while now, if you had a daughter.
"Ooh, that's pretty!" said all the girls in the room together.
"I think they like it," said Frodo.
"Well, it's made them happy," said Aragorn. "Perhaps it will shut them all up for a bit." As he said that, Arwen passed Ceridwen to Robyn and held Dalua herself. All the women then went 'gooey' (as the men called it) and started cooing. "I spoke too soon."
"Ceridwen it is then," said Ash. "Now that one I like. What does it mean though?"
"High Priestess," said Legolas. "I think."
"Cool!" said Robyn. "How do you know all this, Dad?" She received many 'duh!' looks.
"Well, I'm an Elf, so I just know," said Legolas, confusedly. "It's what being alive for 3000 years does to you."
"Oh right, yeah, I knew that," she said. "Anyway, babies." The women continued with their former activity.
"Shouldn't we carry on choosing the godmother now?" asked Ash.
"Mother and baby bonding moment here," said Robyn, irritably. "Will you just wait a moment?!" She kissed the top of Ceridwen's head and then Dalua's and placed the two in a cot next to her own bed.
"Are you ready now?" said Ash.
"Yes," she said. "Do I look as if I'm doing anything? No, exactly."
"There's no need to be so bitchy, Robyn," said Michelle.
"Look, I've just given birth, aren't I allowed to be a little hormonal?!" sad Robyn, angrily.
"Robyn, chill," said Ash.
"Don't tell me what to do!!!" she said.
"Robyn, will you quiet down a bit?" said Michelle, looking concernedly at the babies.
"No, I will NOT!!!" she cried (the miracle babies still not stirring!). Tears began to overflow, though she had no idea why.
"Robyn, calm down now," said Legolas, seeing Michelle's anxiety over the children. "You'll wake the babies and stress yourself out." She sighed and took some deep, shuddering breaths. Michelle and Ash stared at Legolas for a moment.
"Have you any idea how much I am hating you at the moment?" said Michelle.
"Why?" said Legolas.
"Because you can control my wife and her daughter better than we can," said Ash.
"You're just jealous," said Robyn, sweetly, her tantrum passing. "Now then, godmother." Tracey and Mary-Jo went immediately on guard again and glared at each other. "Any offers?" asked the young mother. The two competitors, who were formally sitting, leapt in the air.
"MEEEEEE!!!!!!" they bother yelled at exactly the same time, still the children didn't wake. They stirred slightly, but didn't wake.
"Any other offers?" said Robyn.
"I'll do it," said Mary-Jo, calmly.
"No I will," said Tracey.
"No I will," said Mary-Jo.
"No, I will."
"No, you're wrong, I will."
"I am not wrong, I will make a way better God-mother you, Mary-Jo."
"I think you'll find you won't."
"I will."
"Will-"
"SHUT UP!" said Michelle. "We're not going through this again."
"After that performance, neither of you are being godmother," said Ash. "I don't trust you. I was thinking Arwen." The Queen of Gondor looked very flattered and smiled at Ash. Robyn's face soured slightly. 'That's only because you fancy her,' she thought.
"I'm not sure," said Robyn. "However much I think shed make a wonderful godmother-" she over-emphasised the word 'wonderful' "-if something were to happen to both the King and Queen then my children would be left with no godparents. And that's not wise."
"Well, who then?" said Ash. "I've always been told that it can't be immediate family, so that rules your Mom and my Mom. You've said no to Tracey, Mary-Jo and Arwen. What about Maria?" Everyone, including Maria, fell about laughing. That was a good one. "Or maybe not."
"What about.... no, doesn't matter," said Michelle.
"Say it," said Robyn. "You never know."
"No, it's all right. I haven't seen her for absolutely ages. Anyway, she probably wouldn't want to."
"Mom, who? Say it before I hurt you."
"Oh, alright, I was going to say Tafi." Robyn's face lit up.
"Oh my gosh," she said. "Yes!"
"Who?" said Ash, totally confused.
"Tafi is one of Michelle's really close friends, though they have begun to drift apart, sad to say," explained Legolas. "She helped Michelle raise Robyn if and when she could. She's sort of like Robyn's second mom. But also sort of not. Yes, I realise that makes no sense."
"But I don't know her," said Ash. "How can I entrust my children to someone I don't know?"
"All of my side of the family and friends know her," said Robyn. "She is a natural mother yet a great laugh. I don't think you could find anyone better to be godmother."
"I want to meet her first," said Ash, severely.
"Don't you trust me?" asked Robyn.
"I don't know this woman you're talking about. I'm not just going to-"
"Ash, don't push your luck," said Michelle.
"You're stepping a fine line," growled Robyn.
"So you blame me for caring?" demanded Ash. "Would you rather I didn't care? Didn't get involved? In fact, would you rather I just wasn't here at all?"
"It might make life a little easier, yes," hissed Robyn. Ash glared at her.
"Fine," he said. He stood up and left. Robyn watched after him in disbelief. She didn't think he would actually go, else she wouldn't have said it. Well, not with as much spite anyway.
"He just walked out on me," she said, quietly. "He actually walked out on me. One hour after our children are born... and he's walked out." Robyn started to cry.
"I'll go after him," said Faramir and chased the runaway husband. Michelle looked at her daughter and shook her head.
"Why do you have to be so bloody like me? Honestly, woman." She said. But the sight of her daughter in floods of tears immediately quenched her doubt. She sat down next to her daughter and put an arm round her shoulder. Everyone else watched, not knowing what to do.
"Oh honey, don't cry," said Michelle, softly. "He'll be back in a minute. You just pissed him off, is all. When he comes back, just apologise and-"
"Only if he apologises first," Robyn sobbed.
"You will apologise to Ash when he walks through that door, Robyn, no disputes," ordered Michelle. Robyn's reply was more sobs.
"It's what you need to do," said Legolas. "You two will sort it out. You'll see."
"If you say so."
"Why is this decision so damn hard?" said Robyn. "I now too many responsible women.
"Being who?" asked Michelle.
"OI!" said Mary-Jo, indignantly. "I'm responsible." Michele raised an eyebrow.
"Sure you are, Moj," said Michelle, patronisingly. Mary-Jo scowled at her best friend.
"Anyway, moving on," said Robyn. "I need to make this decision."
"Wouldn't it be a better idea to name the children before anything else is decided?" said Legolas.
"ARGH!!!" cried Robyn. "Too many decisions!!!"
"It's only a name," said Maria.
"It's two actually," said Tracey. Robyn let out another stressed shriek.
"Robyn, calm down," said Faramir. "You're going to have a nervous breakdown or something! It's that or wake the children." She took some deep breaths.
"Rob, we can choose a name," said Ash. "I mean two. Damn, that's confusing."
"I'd like something Elvish sounding," said Robyn, completely ignoring her husband. "Not actual Elvish because its too hard to pronounce. But since I can't speak any other language apart from this one, I'm a bit stuck." Legolas smiled and took on his role of Granddad.
"I can help you there," he said. "Along the lines of what?" She frowned slightly.
"Eh?" she said.
"What do you want the name to mean?" he said.
"Oh, er, I don't know," she said. "Something relevant to the child. I get the feeling the boy will take after his father. How about 'the fool'?" Mary-Jo burst out laughing. Ash looked very insulted.
"How rude!" he exclaimed, sounding extraordinarily like a girl. Every one gave him the oddest look, except for Frodo and Pippin who were rolling on the floor laughing.
"I think you married the wrong bloke," giggled Michelle. Ash appeared absolutely horrified that he could do that. He didn't know his voice was capable of going that high.
"Don't say that," said Robyn. "I love him, even if he does sound like a girl."
"Can we just get on with the names now?" said Ash, sulkily. "And I', not gay."
"Oh, get over yourself," said Robyn. "Anyway, where were we?"
"Dalua," said Legolas.
"Same to you," said Michelle.
"No, Dalua, it means 'The Fool'," said Legolas. "And it just so happens that it is a boy's name."
"It is?" said Tracey. "Well, I'm glad you told me that because I wouldn't have guessed otherwise."
"It sounds a bit.... well.... feminine," said Aragorn.
"I like it," said Robyn. "It sweet. And it kinda suits him too."
"Are you saying our son looks gay?" asked Ash.
"No, but it just seems to be right," said Robyn. "Look, just agree with me and be dine with it."
"If our son turns out gay because of the name..." started Ash.
"Don't be so ridiculous," said Mary-Jo. "The kid isn't going to be gay because of a name. Kids turn out gay because of bad parenting." Everyone's faces dropped. She saw it and shrunk back. "Don't they?"
"What in the name of Eru gave you that idea?" said Michelle.
"It was what my mom always told me," said Mary-Jo, scared. "Is that not right?"
"There isn't a reason why," said Tracey. "It just happens."
"Oh. Ok." Mary-Jo blushed deeply. (A/N: I have been ordered to inform you that this is not what the real Mary-Jo thinks. She's not that stupid. Almost, but not quite. ^_~ Luv ya honey!) The hobbits started to giggle and Michelle was shaking with silent laughter.
"Right then, well, we'll just move on, yeah?" said Faramir.
"So, are you calling him Dalua or not?" asked Maria.
"Yes," said Robyn. Ash gave up. He knew he was not going to win. He sighed.
"Yes," he said, exasperatedly. Robyn smiled at him.
"Good," she said. "Now what about our daughter?"
"How about Ceridwen?" said Legolas. "I've been thinking of it for a while now, if you had a daughter.
"Ooh, that's pretty!" said all the girls in the room together.
"I think they like it," said Frodo.
"Well, it's made them happy," said Aragorn. "Perhaps it will shut them all up for a bit." As he said that, Arwen passed Ceridwen to Robyn and held Dalua herself. All the women then went 'gooey' (as the men called it) and started cooing. "I spoke too soon."
"Ceridwen it is then," said Ash. "Now that one I like. What does it mean though?"
"High Priestess," said Legolas. "I think."
"Cool!" said Robyn. "How do you know all this, Dad?" She received many 'duh!' looks.
"Well, I'm an Elf, so I just know," said Legolas, confusedly. "It's what being alive for 3000 years does to you."
"Oh right, yeah, I knew that," she said. "Anyway, babies." The women continued with their former activity.
"Shouldn't we carry on choosing the godmother now?" asked Ash.
"Mother and baby bonding moment here," said Robyn, irritably. "Will you just wait a moment?!" She kissed the top of Ceridwen's head and then Dalua's and placed the two in a cot next to her own bed.
"Are you ready now?" said Ash.
"Yes," she said. "Do I look as if I'm doing anything? No, exactly."
"There's no need to be so bitchy, Robyn," said Michelle.
"Look, I've just given birth, aren't I allowed to be a little hormonal?!" sad Robyn, angrily.
"Robyn, chill," said Ash.
"Don't tell me what to do!!!" she said.
"Robyn, will you quiet down a bit?" said Michelle, looking concernedly at the babies.
"No, I will NOT!!!" she cried (the miracle babies still not stirring!). Tears began to overflow, though she had no idea why.
"Robyn, calm down now," said Legolas, seeing Michelle's anxiety over the children. "You'll wake the babies and stress yourself out." She sighed and took some deep, shuddering breaths. Michelle and Ash stared at Legolas for a moment.
"Have you any idea how much I am hating you at the moment?" said Michelle.
"Why?" said Legolas.
"Because you can control my wife and her daughter better than we can," said Ash.
"You're just jealous," said Robyn, sweetly, her tantrum passing. "Now then, godmother." Tracey and Mary-Jo went immediately on guard again and glared at each other. "Any offers?" asked the young mother. The two competitors, who were formally sitting, leapt in the air.
"MEEEEEE!!!!!!" they bother yelled at exactly the same time, still the children didn't wake. They stirred slightly, but didn't wake.
"Any other offers?" said Robyn.
"I'll do it," said Mary-Jo, calmly.
"No I will," said Tracey.
"No I will," said Mary-Jo.
"No, I will."
"No, you're wrong, I will."
"I am not wrong, I will make a way better God-mother you, Mary-Jo."
"I think you'll find you won't."
"I will."
"Will-"
"SHUT UP!" said Michelle. "We're not going through this again."
"After that performance, neither of you are being godmother," said Ash. "I don't trust you. I was thinking Arwen." The Queen of Gondor looked very flattered and smiled at Ash. Robyn's face soured slightly. 'That's only because you fancy her,' she thought.
"I'm not sure," said Robyn. "However much I think shed make a wonderful godmother-" she over-emphasised the word 'wonderful' "-if something were to happen to both the King and Queen then my children would be left with no godparents. And that's not wise."
"Well, who then?" said Ash. "I've always been told that it can't be immediate family, so that rules your Mom and my Mom. You've said no to Tracey, Mary-Jo and Arwen. What about Maria?" Everyone, including Maria, fell about laughing. That was a good one. "Or maybe not."
"What about.... no, doesn't matter," said Michelle.
"Say it," said Robyn. "You never know."
"No, it's all right. I haven't seen her for absolutely ages. Anyway, she probably wouldn't want to."
"Mom, who? Say it before I hurt you."
"Oh, alright, I was going to say Tafi." Robyn's face lit up.
"Oh my gosh," she said. "Yes!"
"Who?" said Ash, totally confused.
"Tafi is one of Michelle's really close friends, though they have begun to drift apart, sad to say," explained Legolas. "She helped Michelle raise Robyn if and when she could. She's sort of like Robyn's second mom. But also sort of not. Yes, I realise that makes no sense."
"But I don't know her," said Ash. "How can I entrust my children to someone I don't know?"
"All of my side of the family and friends know her," said Robyn. "She is a natural mother yet a great laugh. I don't think you could find anyone better to be godmother."
"I want to meet her first," said Ash, severely.
"Don't you trust me?" asked Robyn.
"I don't know this woman you're talking about. I'm not just going to-"
"Ash, don't push your luck," said Michelle.
"You're stepping a fine line," growled Robyn.
"So you blame me for caring?" demanded Ash. "Would you rather I didn't care? Didn't get involved? In fact, would you rather I just wasn't here at all?"
"It might make life a little easier, yes," hissed Robyn. Ash glared at her.
"Fine," he said. He stood up and left. Robyn watched after him in disbelief. She didn't think he would actually go, else she wouldn't have said it. Well, not with as much spite anyway.
"He just walked out on me," she said, quietly. "He actually walked out on me. One hour after our children are born... and he's walked out." Robyn started to cry.
"I'll go after him," said Faramir and chased the runaway husband. Michelle looked at her daughter and shook her head.
"Why do you have to be so bloody like me? Honestly, woman." She said. But the sight of her daughter in floods of tears immediately quenched her doubt. She sat down next to her daughter and put an arm round her shoulder. Everyone else watched, not knowing what to do.
"Oh honey, don't cry," said Michelle, softly. "He'll be back in a minute. You just pissed him off, is all. When he comes back, just apologise and-"
"Only if he apologises first," Robyn sobbed.
"You will apologise to Ash when he walks through that door, Robyn, no disputes," ordered Michelle. Robyn's reply was more sobs.
"It's what you need to do," said Legolas. "You two will sort it out. You'll see."
"If you say so."
