Title: "Episode 83 & 1/2 - With A Little Help From My Friends".
Part: 07/12
Author: "A Gentleman Of Leisure".
Summary: There's a stranger in town and the world's about to end. Who you gonna call?
Story Type: In-Canon adventure set between Episodes 83 & 84 (hence the title).
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Up to Series 5, Episode 83 (of course).
Pairing: In-Canon
Disclaimer: In the beginning there was Joss. And Joss said "Let there be Buffy". And there was Buffy. And it was the morning and the evening of the first episode. And lo, Joss saw that it was good. (All copyrights and trademarks acknowledged - it's all just a bit of fun, folks. Thank you.)
Author's Note: I'm a British writer, so there may be some terms (and spelling) not used in the US. OK? Now read on...
*
Part Seven - 'Subterranean Homesick Blues' - Bob Dylan.
"My nose itches", Anya complained.
"Rub it on my shoulder", Xander suggested, and Anya gratefully accepted his offer. Then she sneezed, and had to wipe her nose vigorously on the upper sleeve of Xander's shirt. It was not a pretty sight.
'Demon snot! Gross! I hope that's going in the washer ASAP', Buffy said to herself, but not out loud.
"How long have we been standing here, Willow?" Giles asked. "I'm beginning to feel it's about time the travellers returned from wherever they've got to".
"Also he's getting tired, poor old thing", Buffy said with a smile.
"Not so much of the poor, or the old or thing either, preferably", the ex-Watcher responded. "It's just that it's getting to be a while since they went. Wherever they are though, I'm absolutely sure they're perfectly safe with Michael".
"Why so sure, Giles?" Anya asked. "After all, it's not like you've met him before. Or have you?"
"Yeah, Giles. Why the supreme confidence in this guy? What do you know about him that we don't? Who is he really?" Xander said.
"I must say, I'd like to know what you know about him, too, Giles. Not that I don't trust you - I'm just curious", Buffy told him. "Come on, what's the what on this guy?"
"Yeah", Xander agreed. "And now I come to think of it, he just walks in off the street and we accept him as if he's a bosom buddy. I don't know about you all, but I'm beginning to say to myself 'slightly strange'".
"It is a little odd, that, Giles", Willow added. "After all, none of us have ever met him before, we know nothing about him except what he's told us..."
...And the fact that he's very good with a sword, which I suppose must count for something", Buffy finished.
"I have never met him before", Giles said slowly, "but I'm reasonably sure I know who he is. I've read about him, but I never imagined I would ever meet him - very few human beings ever have".
"You mean he's not human? Really? So who is he, then, Giles?"
"I think you had better ask him when he gets back. I don't think it's my place to tell you if you don't recognise him".
"You said that before, but why ever not, Giles?" Buffy demanded, somewhat surprised, but he ignored her question, pretending he hadn't heard her.
"So who are these people he says he works for, this 'sort of International Rescue'?" Xander asked him. "He says we're on the same side, against the Darkness, but why have we never heard of them, Giles? Do you know anything about this organisation? Is there anything in any of your books about them?"
Giles looked thoughtful. If his hands had been free he would have taken off his glasses so he could polish them while he thought about his answer. He manfully resisted the temptation. Anyway, holding hands with Willow and Buffy, for whatever reason, was a very pleasant way to spend part of an evening, when he came to think about it.
"Well", he said slowly, "I think in fact we have. We all have, in fact. Heard of them, I mean. I suspect that what he's talking about is what the Watchers know as 'The Powers That Be', and you've certainly heard of them, haven't you Buffy?"
She nodded, but didn't reply.
"So he either works for them", Giles continued, "or he is one of them - it depends on how you interpret certain things. But they aren't completely unknown - I suspect that people actually know them by another name, and that very rarely indeed they deliberately intervene in the affairs of this world, and that there's a term for what they do, and there are records of them doing so. I'm just surprised that the Watchers' Council don't seem to have realised it", he finished, and he did indeed sound surprised.
"So who is he, and who are they, then?" Xander asked again.
"I'm afraid that unless he decides to tell you, you're just going to have to figure it out for yourselves", Giles said, and his tone of voice told them that was probably all he was going to say on the subject.
"Huh. Cryptic much?" Buffy commented, frowning, unimpressed by her Watcher.
"But he really is OK, then?" Willow asked, a little anxiously. "I mean, I thought he was really nice, and he knows all about magic - he was able to tell us exactly which book to look in for the spell we used".
"He is very OK, I think".
To everyone's surprise it was Tara who spoke. She was nodding her head slowly, thoughtfully. She looked as if she had just begun to realise some great truth. Willow looked at her, puzzled, but didn't say anything. If Tara could figure it out, then she supposed she could too, or if not then she was sure that Tara would explain eventually.
"So is he a big cheese, then?" Buffy said.
"A great big wheel of cheese", Giles told her, smiling. "We are making history".
"Providing we save the Universe for there to be any more history in!" Willow said, reminding them of why they were still standing in a circle holding hands round a hole in the floor where their table had stood.
"So how long do you reckon we've been standing here?" Buffy asked.
*
Dawn stepped off the tabletop, which was now flush with the floor, and wondered vaguely where the rest of it was.
"The Vatican, huh?" she said, looking around. "I always imagined it as being all gleaming marble halls and painted ceilings, with cardinals swinging incense burners, and choirs and stuff. Not like this, all icky, with rough stone floors and dust on everything".
Michael laughed out loud.
"Don't be disappointed, Dawn. That's all happening up in the light above us, but we don't want to frighten all those old men up there, going about their holy business, do we? Anyway the sun is just about rising here in Rome, and we have to think about Spike".
"Oh, right! Sunburn, smoke and flames, pouf! I guess we're a long way from Sunnydale Fire Department".
"You're so thoughtful, Niblet", Spike said acidly. "What would I do without you? Oh yes, I know, I'd have a lot more peaceful life, now wouldn't I?"
"You'd miss me, Spike. Admit it, you would. Even if I'd never existed, you'd miss me".
"Oh yeah, just like a hole in the head".
"What another one? Let me see - mouth, two ears, two nostrils (I'm being generous here) - that makes...um...five! Isn't that enough?", Dawn said, laughing.
"You two should be on television as a cross-talk act - you're almost as good as the Marx Brothers", Michael commented.
"The who?" said Dawn innocently, and grinned when Spike rolled his eyes in despair.
"I'm going to have to take your education in hand, Little Bit", he said, shaking his head. "Just wait till I get you home".
"Promise?"
He growled something indistinct, and also stepped off the table top. The next moment something huge fell out of thin air behind him and came crashing down, narrowly missing him. The impact made the floor shake. Spike spun round, took one look, and immediately vamped out!
*
"It seems ages since they went - I wonder what's keeping them?"
"Perhaps the Spear is not as easy to find as Michael thought. I don't suppose even higher beings are infallible", Giles said.
"After all, he's had to use our magical mojo to help them get to wherever it is", Willow said. "That might explain it".
Abruptly, Buffy lifted her head and looked around keenly, peering into the dark corners of the shop as if expecting to see someone or something lurking in the deepest shadows.
"What is it, Buff?" Xander asked. "The old 'Spider Sense' at work?"
"I don't know. Something. Nothing - I don't know", she replied, shaking her head doubtfully. "I just thought I heard something".
"Like what?" Giles asked, uncharacteristically forgetting his grammar.
"Dunno. Too faint to make out. Nah, I guess I imagined it", she said.
The words were scarcely out of her mouth when deep, deep down under the earth, something moved, and all the glass in the shop tinkled delicately.
"Oh no, not again", Giles said.
"Yes, and I think it's going to be..."
Whatever she was about to say was lost in the low, growing rumble beneath their feet, sounding like nothing so much as a stampede of a thousand elephants, all seemingly determined to pass right through the Magic Box. The building began to tremble.
"Hold tight!" Willow shouted above the increasing row. "Don't let go or the way back will close and they'll all be trapped!"
"We can't stay here - I think this is going to be a really bad one!" Giles shouted back. "If we don't get out of the building, it could come down on us and we'd all be killed!"
"We can't just leave them!" The building was already shaking violently, dust and debris was beginning to fall, and it was getting difficult to hear.
"I'm going in after them", Buffy shouted. "The rest of you get out. Go on, go!"
"You can't!" Willow screamed back. "As soon as you let go hands the opening will disappear. There probably won't even be time to jump in, and I don't know what would happen to you if you did".
The noise was now rapidly getting so loud they could scarcely hear each other. Poor Giles, not used to listening to music at high volumes like the younger ones, was in real pain from the sound level.
"We can't stay!" he bellowed above the still-increasing racket. "This is no ordinary earthquake - it's either the 'Big One', or it's supernatural. Either way we have to get outside now! NOW!" he repeated. "Or we're all dead!" and he let go Buffy's hand.
The ground under the building slowly began to heave upwards, all the stock came crashing down, again, and the wooden walls cracked and started to disintegrate.
"I'm sorry, Buffy!" he shouted, starting to drag a frightened and confused Willow towards the front of the shop. Xander followed, towing Anya and Tara, everyone trying to dodge the falling shelves and stuff coming down on top of them.
Buffy looked around her desperately - the hole in the floor was visibly beginning to shrink, and there were no weapons within reach except Giles's axe, lying on the floor next to where he'd stood. Hurriedly she grabbed it and took a couple of steps towards the dark circle. She was just about to jump into it before it became any smaller when the whole floor heaved up, and the head and one arm of something huge and dark and searing hot emerged from the portal, opened giant eyes like saucers and glared at her. Its mouth gaped, and flames billowed out of it like burning yellow flowers. The arm reached out for her.
She reacted without an instant's thought, ducked, and slashed at it with the axe, severing one of its fingers, and leaving a long red-hot scar across the back of its hand, a hand big enough to effortlessly crush an old style cash register. The creature gave a vast bellow, though it was almost unheard in the pandemonium, and sank back into the ground again. Immediately the portal snapped shut after it. The sound was clearly audible, even above the sounds of the earthquake.
Startled at her success, and wondering what on earth, or under it, that sort of demon had been, Buffy stood for a moment looking at where the shrinking hole had been. There was no trace of it left, the magical portal had completely vanished. Then, as the ceiling finally started to collapse on her, she turned and ran towards the front of the shop, and dived out of what was left of the window, rolled across the sidewalk and hit the ground running. Behind her the whole row of shop fronts slowly leaned drunkenly over into the street and came down with a huge smash in a cascade of rubble. A vast cloud of greyish dust came rolling out across the road and obscured everything.
End Of Part Seven. To Be Continued...
Part: 07/12
Author: "A Gentleman Of Leisure".
Summary: There's a stranger in town and the world's about to end. Who you gonna call?
Story Type: In-Canon adventure set between Episodes 83 & 84 (hence the title).
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Up to Series 5, Episode 83 (of course).
Pairing: In-Canon
Disclaimer: In the beginning there was Joss. And Joss said "Let there be Buffy". And there was Buffy. And it was the morning and the evening of the first episode. And lo, Joss saw that it was good. (All copyrights and trademarks acknowledged - it's all just a bit of fun, folks. Thank you.)
Author's Note: I'm a British writer, so there may be some terms (and spelling) not used in the US. OK? Now read on...
*
Part Seven - 'Subterranean Homesick Blues' - Bob Dylan.
"My nose itches", Anya complained.
"Rub it on my shoulder", Xander suggested, and Anya gratefully accepted his offer. Then she sneezed, and had to wipe her nose vigorously on the upper sleeve of Xander's shirt. It was not a pretty sight.
'Demon snot! Gross! I hope that's going in the washer ASAP', Buffy said to herself, but not out loud.
"How long have we been standing here, Willow?" Giles asked. "I'm beginning to feel it's about time the travellers returned from wherever they've got to".
"Also he's getting tired, poor old thing", Buffy said with a smile.
"Not so much of the poor, or the old or thing either, preferably", the ex-Watcher responded. "It's just that it's getting to be a while since they went. Wherever they are though, I'm absolutely sure they're perfectly safe with Michael".
"Why so sure, Giles?" Anya asked. "After all, it's not like you've met him before. Or have you?"
"Yeah, Giles. Why the supreme confidence in this guy? What do you know about him that we don't? Who is he really?" Xander said.
"I must say, I'd like to know what you know about him, too, Giles. Not that I don't trust you - I'm just curious", Buffy told him. "Come on, what's the what on this guy?"
"Yeah", Xander agreed. "And now I come to think of it, he just walks in off the street and we accept him as if he's a bosom buddy. I don't know about you all, but I'm beginning to say to myself 'slightly strange'".
"It is a little odd, that, Giles", Willow added. "After all, none of us have ever met him before, we know nothing about him except what he's told us..."
...And the fact that he's very good with a sword, which I suppose must count for something", Buffy finished.
"I have never met him before", Giles said slowly, "but I'm reasonably sure I know who he is. I've read about him, but I never imagined I would ever meet him - very few human beings ever have".
"You mean he's not human? Really? So who is he, then, Giles?"
"I think you had better ask him when he gets back. I don't think it's my place to tell you if you don't recognise him".
"You said that before, but why ever not, Giles?" Buffy demanded, somewhat surprised, but he ignored her question, pretending he hadn't heard her.
"So who are these people he says he works for, this 'sort of International Rescue'?" Xander asked him. "He says we're on the same side, against the Darkness, but why have we never heard of them, Giles? Do you know anything about this organisation? Is there anything in any of your books about them?"
Giles looked thoughtful. If his hands had been free he would have taken off his glasses so he could polish them while he thought about his answer. He manfully resisted the temptation. Anyway, holding hands with Willow and Buffy, for whatever reason, was a very pleasant way to spend part of an evening, when he came to think about it.
"Well", he said slowly, "I think in fact we have. We all have, in fact. Heard of them, I mean. I suspect that what he's talking about is what the Watchers know as 'The Powers That Be', and you've certainly heard of them, haven't you Buffy?"
She nodded, but didn't reply.
"So he either works for them", Giles continued, "or he is one of them - it depends on how you interpret certain things. But they aren't completely unknown - I suspect that people actually know them by another name, and that very rarely indeed they deliberately intervene in the affairs of this world, and that there's a term for what they do, and there are records of them doing so. I'm just surprised that the Watchers' Council don't seem to have realised it", he finished, and he did indeed sound surprised.
"So who is he, and who are they, then?" Xander asked again.
"I'm afraid that unless he decides to tell you, you're just going to have to figure it out for yourselves", Giles said, and his tone of voice told them that was probably all he was going to say on the subject.
"Huh. Cryptic much?" Buffy commented, frowning, unimpressed by her Watcher.
"But he really is OK, then?" Willow asked, a little anxiously. "I mean, I thought he was really nice, and he knows all about magic - he was able to tell us exactly which book to look in for the spell we used".
"He is very OK, I think".
To everyone's surprise it was Tara who spoke. She was nodding her head slowly, thoughtfully. She looked as if she had just begun to realise some great truth. Willow looked at her, puzzled, but didn't say anything. If Tara could figure it out, then she supposed she could too, or if not then she was sure that Tara would explain eventually.
"So is he a big cheese, then?" Buffy said.
"A great big wheel of cheese", Giles told her, smiling. "We are making history".
"Providing we save the Universe for there to be any more history in!" Willow said, reminding them of why they were still standing in a circle holding hands round a hole in the floor where their table had stood.
"So how long do you reckon we've been standing here?" Buffy asked.
*
Dawn stepped off the tabletop, which was now flush with the floor, and wondered vaguely where the rest of it was.
"The Vatican, huh?" she said, looking around. "I always imagined it as being all gleaming marble halls and painted ceilings, with cardinals swinging incense burners, and choirs and stuff. Not like this, all icky, with rough stone floors and dust on everything".
Michael laughed out loud.
"Don't be disappointed, Dawn. That's all happening up in the light above us, but we don't want to frighten all those old men up there, going about their holy business, do we? Anyway the sun is just about rising here in Rome, and we have to think about Spike".
"Oh, right! Sunburn, smoke and flames, pouf! I guess we're a long way from Sunnydale Fire Department".
"You're so thoughtful, Niblet", Spike said acidly. "What would I do without you? Oh yes, I know, I'd have a lot more peaceful life, now wouldn't I?"
"You'd miss me, Spike. Admit it, you would. Even if I'd never existed, you'd miss me".
"Oh yeah, just like a hole in the head".
"What another one? Let me see - mouth, two ears, two nostrils (I'm being generous here) - that makes...um...five! Isn't that enough?", Dawn said, laughing.
"You two should be on television as a cross-talk act - you're almost as good as the Marx Brothers", Michael commented.
"The who?" said Dawn innocently, and grinned when Spike rolled his eyes in despair.
"I'm going to have to take your education in hand, Little Bit", he said, shaking his head. "Just wait till I get you home".
"Promise?"
He growled something indistinct, and also stepped off the table top. The next moment something huge fell out of thin air behind him and came crashing down, narrowly missing him. The impact made the floor shake. Spike spun round, took one look, and immediately vamped out!
*
"It seems ages since they went - I wonder what's keeping them?"
"Perhaps the Spear is not as easy to find as Michael thought. I don't suppose even higher beings are infallible", Giles said.
"After all, he's had to use our magical mojo to help them get to wherever it is", Willow said. "That might explain it".
Abruptly, Buffy lifted her head and looked around keenly, peering into the dark corners of the shop as if expecting to see someone or something lurking in the deepest shadows.
"What is it, Buff?" Xander asked. "The old 'Spider Sense' at work?"
"I don't know. Something. Nothing - I don't know", she replied, shaking her head doubtfully. "I just thought I heard something".
"Like what?" Giles asked, uncharacteristically forgetting his grammar.
"Dunno. Too faint to make out. Nah, I guess I imagined it", she said.
The words were scarcely out of her mouth when deep, deep down under the earth, something moved, and all the glass in the shop tinkled delicately.
"Oh no, not again", Giles said.
"Yes, and I think it's going to be..."
Whatever she was about to say was lost in the low, growing rumble beneath their feet, sounding like nothing so much as a stampede of a thousand elephants, all seemingly determined to pass right through the Magic Box. The building began to tremble.
"Hold tight!" Willow shouted above the increasing row. "Don't let go or the way back will close and they'll all be trapped!"
"We can't stay here - I think this is going to be a really bad one!" Giles shouted back. "If we don't get out of the building, it could come down on us and we'd all be killed!"
"We can't just leave them!" The building was already shaking violently, dust and debris was beginning to fall, and it was getting difficult to hear.
"I'm going in after them", Buffy shouted. "The rest of you get out. Go on, go!"
"You can't!" Willow screamed back. "As soon as you let go hands the opening will disappear. There probably won't even be time to jump in, and I don't know what would happen to you if you did".
The noise was now rapidly getting so loud they could scarcely hear each other. Poor Giles, not used to listening to music at high volumes like the younger ones, was in real pain from the sound level.
"We can't stay!" he bellowed above the still-increasing racket. "This is no ordinary earthquake - it's either the 'Big One', or it's supernatural. Either way we have to get outside now! NOW!" he repeated. "Or we're all dead!" and he let go Buffy's hand.
The ground under the building slowly began to heave upwards, all the stock came crashing down, again, and the wooden walls cracked and started to disintegrate.
"I'm sorry, Buffy!" he shouted, starting to drag a frightened and confused Willow towards the front of the shop. Xander followed, towing Anya and Tara, everyone trying to dodge the falling shelves and stuff coming down on top of them.
Buffy looked around her desperately - the hole in the floor was visibly beginning to shrink, and there were no weapons within reach except Giles's axe, lying on the floor next to where he'd stood. Hurriedly she grabbed it and took a couple of steps towards the dark circle. She was just about to jump into it before it became any smaller when the whole floor heaved up, and the head and one arm of something huge and dark and searing hot emerged from the portal, opened giant eyes like saucers and glared at her. Its mouth gaped, and flames billowed out of it like burning yellow flowers. The arm reached out for her.
She reacted without an instant's thought, ducked, and slashed at it with the axe, severing one of its fingers, and leaving a long red-hot scar across the back of its hand, a hand big enough to effortlessly crush an old style cash register. The creature gave a vast bellow, though it was almost unheard in the pandemonium, and sank back into the ground again. Immediately the portal snapped shut after it. The sound was clearly audible, even above the sounds of the earthquake.
Startled at her success, and wondering what on earth, or under it, that sort of demon had been, Buffy stood for a moment looking at where the shrinking hole had been. There was no trace of it left, the magical portal had completely vanished. Then, as the ceiling finally started to collapse on her, she turned and ran towards the front of the shop, and dived out of what was left of the window, rolled across the sidewalk and hit the ground running. Behind her the whole row of shop fronts slowly leaned drunkenly over into the street and came down with a huge smash in a cascade of rubble. A vast cloud of greyish dust came rolling out across the road and obscured everything.
End Of Part Seven. To Be Continued...
