A/N: I have a public announcement to make I would like to say: WELL DONE
NISSIE!!! I'M MEGA, MEGA, MEGA PROUD OF YOU DARLIN'!!! My wonderful best
mate achieved a C in the Maths Exam we had in January. This is the highest
mark you can get on the Intermediate paper (I think) so I'm very, very
pleased! Luv ya, hunni!
All I have left to say is this:
In a stable home you need vegetable porn.
Chapter 20
"AAARRRGGGHHH!!!" Robyn proclaimed to the world. She then proceeded to prance around the room shouting "YAYA!!!" at the top of her voice. She clutched a piece of paper in her left hand.
"Rob, calm down," said Ash. "Can you please tell me what you're so excited about?" But his wife continued to joyfully bounce round the room. Michelle and Legolas sat at the table, watching their daughter with confused looks on their faces. None of the three realised it was just over four months since the message to Tafi had been sent.
"She's coming back! She's coming back! She's coming back! She's coming back!" Robyn sang. She began to spin herself round in circles.
"Does anyone else feel dizzy?" asked Legolas.
"Very," agreed Michelle. "Robyn, sit down now, before I knock you out! Honestly, girl. Much more of that and you'll get motion sickness. Calm down, then tell us what on earth has made you so hyper all of a sudden." Robyn sat down and was silent for a moment,
"That's better," said Ash, but he spoke too soon. Robyn exploded once more with excitement.
"TAFI HAS AGREED AND SHE'S COMING HOME!!!" yelled the young mother.
"Now why couldn't she just have said that in the first place?" said Ash.
"Since when has Robyn ever made things easy for us?" said Legolas. "She's like her mother."
"Point," said Ash with a nod.
"She's actually coming back?" said Michelle, ignoring her husband and son-in-law.
"Yes!!!" squealed Robyn. "She's on her way back already!" She jumped up and down on the spot. "She'll be here in a few days!"
"In a few days?" echoed Ash. "But how? And how do you know?" Robyn shot a 'duh' look at him.
"It's in the letter, dummy," she said, waving the piece of paper at him. "She said she was going to leave a few days after the messenger had left because she had to get everything sorted, she is in Rivendell by the way mom, and she said she'd be as quick as she could and that she couldn't wait to see us all and to meet Ash and to see the kids and-"
"Robyn, breathe," instructed Legolas. "You're going to pass out if you don't." She sat once again in silence whilst she did as she was told. Ash and Michelle scowled at the Elf, it was becoming a usual occurrence in Robyn and Michelle's houses.
"Look, I can't help it if she listens to me and not you," said Legolas, in his own defense. "Stop looking at me like that. It should be her that you're annoyed with."
"That's not the point," said Michelle. "It's you that can control her."
"You're just jealous," said Legolas. "You know I often wonder which of you two is the child. Well, technically, you're both children compared to me, but you know what I mean."
"If we're both children," began Robyn, now reasonably calm and able to think logically, "does that mean you're a paedophile? Because mom is a child." Michelle and Ash's eyes widened in shock and their jaws fell open. Legolas sat in thought.
"ROBYN!!! That's a horrible thing to say to your father!!!" exclaimed Michelle.
"I was only asking," said Robyn. "I didn't actually call him it."
"As good as," said Ash.
"Daddy, tell them," she whined. "I didn't really call it you. You know I love you really."
"She's got a point actually," he said.
"I do?" said Robyn.
"She does?" said Ash and Michelle.
"Yes," he said, thoughtfully. "It's quite sick by Elven standards. You haven't even come of age yet. Perhaps that's why father didn't look happy when they arrived for the wedding." Michelle's shocked expression changed to one of worry.
"But you don't care, right?" she asked, anxiously.
"Well, I should," said the Elf, cautiously, she whimpered slightly, "but of course I don't. Don't be so silly." She sighed and smiled. Ash was shaking his head in disbelief.
"I can't believe you just called your father a paedophile and got away with it," he said. "You are way too spoilt." Robyn stuck her tongue out at him.
"Shouldn't we start getting ready for her?" queried the spoilt one. "We don't know when she's arriving. It could be tomorrow for all we know. And the house is a complete mess. And who is she going to stay with?"
"What do you mean?" said Ash.
"Well, fir enough, she's coming back for the children, but she's one of mom's best mates. So, is she going to stay here with us or with mom and dad?"
"I'm not fussed either way," said Michelle.
"Neither am I," said Legolas. Ash shrugged.
"Nor me," he said.
"Well, I think it might be a better idea for her to stay with mom and dad," said Robyn to Ash, "because she may not get all the sleep she wants or needs at ours. So long as that's ok with you?" The last part she directed at her mother.
"We just said it was, didn't we?" said Michelle. "But let's stop yakking and get on with the tidying. Eru knows this place needs it, let alone ours."
They spent the next two days tidying up both houses and making preparations for Tafi's arrival. It was very exciting and rather chaotic. Mary-Jo and Tracey couldn't wait to see her, Ash had no idea what to expect, when Legolas had last seen her, she'd been somewhat.... forward. Michelle was stressing a lot, because she wanted everything to be perfect and Robyn was displaying similar symptoms to those that of when she received the letter from Tafi.
Three days after the letter, Tafi arrived with much splendour. Pretty horses, decorations, bells, heralds, you know, the usual. The orange and purple sorta Elf rode, elegant and composed, behind a line of escorts bearing silver trumpets.
"Oh my goodness," said Michelle. "You are so extra." Tafi spotted the group of people (Robyn, Ash, the twins, Michelle, Legolas, Mary-Jo, Frodo and Tracey) awaiting her and grinned maniacally.
"HI GUYS!!!" she cried. She waved energetically and stood up to great them. Big mistake. With about as much grace as an elephant doing ballet on ice skates, she came crashing to the ground. There was a communal gasp as the crowd rushed over to her. They all stared mutely for a moment.
"I'm ok," came a weak, pained voice from somewhere within the pile of clothes on the ground. Michelle somehow managed to find a hand and helped the disgruntled sorta Elf to her feet.
"Thanks Chelle," she said. "Ahem. I'll try again. HI GUYS!!!" She threw her arms around Michelle's neck and they both started to laugh.
"Why haven't you written to me for ages?" asked Michelle.
"Well, I've been in Rivendell doing up the place, as you know, so I've been quite busy," stated Tafi. "I'm going to get my own colony of sorta Elves. Apparently I'm not the only person this has happened to." Michelle raised an eyebrow.
"I don't want to know," she said.
"I'm going to be the new Lady of Rivendell," she continued.
"I want to know," said Michelle.
"Well, it's been decided that since I'm the one who thought to renovate Rivendell, I should be in charge. And since I'm in charge I can make all these cool, important decisions." She grinned mischievously.
"What did you do?" sighed Michelle.
"Oh, I haven't done anything.... yet," she giggled. "I'm considering renaming it." She glanced at Legolas. "Something like.... Tafiville." Legolas looked mortified.
"You can't do that!!!" he cried. Tafi started laughing.
"I'm just joking. Keep your hair on. It's staying as Rivendell." Legolas gave her a wary look, but accepted this to be the truth. She gave him a hug (whilst trying to goose him. Michelle slapped her hands away before she got a chance though). "Hiya Legolas."
"Hello Tafi," he replied. Tafi turned again.
"MARY-JO!!! TRACEY!!!" she exclaimed. "I haven't seen you two in years! Especially not you, MJ!" She hugged them both at the same time. As she did, her eyes settled on Robyn, who was holding Ceridwen. She gasped. "Oh my Eru! Robyn?" Robyn smiled at her 'second mom'.
"The one and only," she said. Tafi clamped a hand over her mouth. Robyn handed Ceridwen to Ash. He now struggled to hold both children, since he didn't have a very good hold of Dalua in the first place. She walked over to Tafi.
"I haven't seen you since you were, like, 13," said the sorta Elf.
"It's great to see you, though you've changed a little since last time," giggled Robyn. Tafi grinned.
"So have you," she said. "You look more like your mom than ever." They embraced fiercely.
"Let me introduce you to my children, your godchildren," said Robyn. "This is Dalua." She placed Dalua in Tafi's arms. "He's a boy, before you think otherwise. It's a boy's name as well, before you say anything."
"Sounds a bit gay if you ask me," said Tafi. "But I love gay guys, so that's ok." (A/N: Just to let you know, Tafi, that none of my mates or myself are homophobic! We all love gay blokes and are very, VERY jealous of you!!!) She did the usual 'cootchie coo' baby noises and handed him back to his mom. Robyn swapped the babies over.
"And this little madam is Ceridwen," said Robyn.
"Awwww, what a pretty name," she said. Tafi held Ceridwen and repeated her former actions and noises. "Oh, they're so beautiful," she whispered. "Oh, I think I might cry."
"Don't be so silly," said Mary-Jo, skeptically.
"Shut up," said Tracey. They glared at each other for a while.
"I wish you two would stop arguing all the time," said Michelle. "It's getting really annoying."
"They never used to argue," commented Tafi.
"Its ever since neither of them got picked to be godmom the first time round," explained Michelle. "And when they got rejected the second time, they became bitter and now blame one other."
"Er.... excuse me," interrupted Ash, feeling a wee bit pissed off that he was being left out and ignored.
"And you are?" asked Tafi.
"Oh yeah, this is my husband, Ash," said Robyn, dismissively. Tafi looked him over appreciatively.
"So that's why you've got such gorgeous kids," said Tafi. "Beautiful mother. Handsome figures. Hmph. It figures. So, anyway, what are we going to do?"
"Well, we have to go and see Aragorn first, mainly so that you can say hello, but also so he knows you're here," said Robyn.
"How could anyone not know?" said Tracey. Tafi looked at Michelle.
"Chelle, why on your daughter on first name terms with the King of Gondor?" she asked.
"She always has been," replied Michelle. "He's like another dad to her. She has a lot of other parents, doesn't she? Anyway, and he spoils her rotten. Git."
"Don't call Aragorn a git," demanded Robyn. "He's not a git. He's lovely."
"You're biased!" said Michelle. Tracey, Mary-Jo, Michelle and Tafi all then burst out laughing.
"BI-ASSED!!!" they cried.
"17 years and you still find that funny?" said Legolas, shaking his head.
"No, not funny," said Mary-Jo, "hilarious."
"Ok, I have no idea what the hell you are talking bout, so can we just go to the Palace now?" said Robyn.
"Good idea,' said Legolas. "They can follow behind at their own pace. You just know they are going to be talking for hours and taking a very long time about it."
*****
A/N: Dehydrated snow
All I'll say is there something that I'm hoping is going to be a shock in the next couple of chapters. ^_^ Luvs Elfie xXxXx
In a stable home you need vegetable porn.
Chapter 20
"AAARRRGGGHHH!!!" Robyn proclaimed to the world. She then proceeded to prance around the room shouting "YAYA!!!" at the top of her voice. She clutched a piece of paper in her left hand.
"Rob, calm down," said Ash. "Can you please tell me what you're so excited about?" But his wife continued to joyfully bounce round the room. Michelle and Legolas sat at the table, watching their daughter with confused looks on their faces. None of the three realised it was just over four months since the message to Tafi had been sent.
"She's coming back! She's coming back! She's coming back! She's coming back!" Robyn sang. She began to spin herself round in circles.
"Does anyone else feel dizzy?" asked Legolas.
"Very," agreed Michelle. "Robyn, sit down now, before I knock you out! Honestly, girl. Much more of that and you'll get motion sickness. Calm down, then tell us what on earth has made you so hyper all of a sudden." Robyn sat down and was silent for a moment,
"That's better," said Ash, but he spoke too soon. Robyn exploded once more with excitement.
"TAFI HAS AGREED AND SHE'S COMING HOME!!!" yelled the young mother.
"Now why couldn't she just have said that in the first place?" said Ash.
"Since when has Robyn ever made things easy for us?" said Legolas. "She's like her mother."
"Point," said Ash with a nod.
"She's actually coming back?" said Michelle, ignoring her husband and son-in-law.
"Yes!!!" squealed Robyn. "She's on her way back already!" She jumped up and down on the spot. "She'll be here in a few days!"
"In a few days?" echoed Ash. "But how? And how do you know?" Robyn shot a 'duh' look at him.
"It's in the letter, dummy," she said, waving the piece of paper at him. "She said she was going to leave a few days after the messenger had left because she had to get everything sorted, she is in Rivendell by the way mom, and she said she'd be as quick as she could and that she couldn't wait to see us all and to meet Ash and to see the kids and-"
"Robyn, breathe," instructed Legolas. "You're going to pass out if you don't." She sat once again in silence whilst she did as she was told. Ash and Michelle scowled at the Elf, it was becoming a usual occurrence in Robyn and Michelle's houses.
"Look, I can't help it if she listens to me and not you," said Legolas, in his own defense. "Stop looking at me like that. It should be her that you're annoyed with."
"That's not the point," said Michelle. "It's you that can control her."
"You're just jealous," said Legolas. "You know I often wonder which of you two is the child. Well, technically, you're both children compared to me, but you know what I mean."
"If we're both children," began Robyn, now reasonably calm and able to think logically, "does that mean you're a paedophile? Because mom is a child." Michelle and Ash's eyes widened in shock and their jaws fell open. Legolas sat in thought.
"ROBYN!!! That's a horrible thing to say to your father!!!" exclaimed Michelle.
"I was only asking," said Robyn. "I didn't actually call him it."
"As good as," said Ash.
"Daddy, tell them," she whined. "I didn't really call it you. You know I love you really."
"She's got a point actually," he said.
"I do?" said Robyn.
"She does?" said Ash and Michelle.
"Yes," he said, thoughtfully. "It's quite sick by Elven standards. You haven't even come of age yet. Perhaps that's why father didn't look happy when they arrived for the wedding." Michelle's shocked expression changed to one of worry.
"But you don't care, right?" she asked, anxiously.
"Well, I should," said the Elf, cautiously, she whimpered slightly, "but of course I don't. Don't be so silly." She sighed and smiled. Ash was shaking his head in disbelief.
"I can't believe you just called your father a paedophile and got away with it," he said. "You are way too spoilt." Robyn stuck her tongue out at him.
"Shouldn't we start getting ready for her?" queried the spoilt one. "We don't know when she's arriving. It could be tomorrow for all we know. And the house is a complete mess. And who is she going to stay with?"
"What do you mean?" said Ash.
"Well, fir enough, she's coming back for the children, but she's one of mom's best mates. So, is she going to stay here with us or with mom and dad?"
"I'm not fussed either way," said Michelle.
"Neither am I," said Legolas. Ash shrugged.
"Nor me," he said.
"Well, I think it might be a better idea for her to stay with mom and dad," said Robyn to Ash, "because she may not get all the sleep she wants or needs at ours. So long as that's ok with you?" The last part she directed at her mother.
"We just said it was, didn't we?" said Michelle. "But let's stop yakking and get on with the tidying. Eru knows this place needs it, let alone ours."
They spent the next two days tidying up both houses and making preparations for Tafi's arrival. It was very exciting and rather chaotic. Mary-Jo and Tracey couldn't wait to see her, Ash had no idea what to expect, when Legolas had last seen her, she'd been somewhat.... forward. Michelle was stressing a lot, because she wanted everything to be perfect and Robyn was displaying similar symptoms to those that of when she received the letter from Tafi.
Three days after the letter, Tafi arrived with much splendour. Pretty horses, decorations, bells, heralds, you know, the usual. The orange and purple sorta Elf rode, elegant and composed, behind a line of escorts bearing silver trumpets.
"Oh my goodness," said Michelle. "You are so extra." Tafi spotted the group of people (Robyn, Ash, the twins, Michelle, Legolas, Mary-Jo, Frodo and Tracey) awaiting her and grinned maniacally.
"HI GUYS!!!" she cried. She waved energetically and stood up to great them. Big mistake. With about as much grace as an elephant doing ballet on ice skates, she came crashing to the ground. There was a communal gasp as the crowd rushed over to her. They all stared mutely for a moment.
"I'm ok," came a weak, pained voice from somewhere within the pile of clothes on the ground. Michelle somehow managed to find a hand and helped the disgruntled sorta Elf to her feet.
"Thanks Chelle," she said. "Ahem. I'll try again. HI GUYS!!!" She threw her arms around Michelle's neck and they both started to laugh.
"Why haven't you written to me for ages?" asked Michelle.
"Well, I've been in Rivendell doing up the place, as you know, so I've been quite busy," stated Tafi. "I'm going to get my own colony of sorta Elves. Apparently I'm not the only person this has happened to." Michelle raised an eyebrow.
"I don't want to know," she said.
"I'm going to be the new Lady of Rivendell," she continued.
"I want to know," said Michelle.
"Well, it's been decided that since I'm the one who thought to renovate Rivendell, I should be in charge. And since I'm in charge I can make all these cool, important decisions." She grinned mischievously.
"What did you do?" sighed Michelle.
"Oh, I haven't done anything.... yet," she giggled. "I'm considering renaming it." She glanced at Legolas. "Something like.... Tafiville." Legolas looked mortified.
"You can't do that!!!" he cried. Tafi started laughing.
"I'm just joking. Keep your hair on. It's staying as Rivendell." Legolas gave her a wary look, but accepted this to be the truth. She gave him a hug (whilst trying to goose him. Michelle slapped her hands away before she got a chance though). "Hiya Legolas."
"Hello Tafi," he replied. Tafi turned again.
"MARY-JO!!! TRACEY!!!" she exclaimed. "I haven't seen you two in years! Especially not you, MJ!" She hugged them both at the same time. As she did, her eyes settled on Robyn, who was holding Ceridwen. She gasped. "Oh my Eru! Robyn?" Robyn smiled at her 'second mom'.
"The one and only," she said. Tafi clamped a hand over her mouth. Robyn handed Ceridwen to Ash. He now struggled to hold both children, since he didn't have a very good hold of Dalua in the first place. She walked over to Tafi.
"I haven't seen you since you were, like, 13," said the sorta Elf.
"It's great to see you, though you've changed a little since last time," giggled Robyn. Tafi grinned.
"So have you," she said. "You look more like your mom than ever." They embraced fiercely.
"Let me introduce you to my children, your godchildren," said Robyn. "This is Dalua." She placed Dalua in Tafi's arms. "He's a boy, before you think otherwise. It's a boy's name as well, before you say anything."
"Sounds a bit gay if you ask me," said Tafi. "But I love gay guys, so that's ok." (A/N: Just to let you know, Tafi, that none of my mates or myself are homophobic! We all love gay blokes and are very, VERY jealous of you!!!) She did the usual 'cootchie coo' baby noises and handed him back to his mom. Robyn swapped the babies over.
"And this little madam is Ceridwen," said Robyn.
"Awwww, what a pretty name," she said. Tafi held Ceridwen and repeated her former actions and noises. "Oh, they're so beautiful," she whispered. "Oh, I think I might cry."
"Don't be so silly," said Mary-Jo, skeptically.
"Shut up," said Tracey. They glared at each other for a while.
"I wish you two would stop arguing all the time," said Michelle. "It's getting really annoying."
"They never used to argue," commented Tafi.
"Its ever since neither of them got picked to be godmom the first time round," explained Michelle. "And when they got rejected the second time, they became bitter and now blame one other."
"Er.... excuse me," interrupted Ash, feeling a wee bit pissed off that he was being left out and ignored.
"And you are?" asked Tafi.
"Oh yeah, this is my husband, Ash," said Robyn, dismissively. Tafi looked him over appreciatively.
"So that's why you've got such gorgeous kids," said Tafi. "Beautiful mother. Handsome figures. Hmph. It figures. So, anyway, what are we going to do?"
"Well, we have to go and see Aragorn first, mainly so that you can say hello, but also so he knows you're here," said Robyn.
"How could anyone not know?" said Tracey. Tafi looked at Michelle.
"Chelle, why on your daughter on first name terms with the King of Gondor?" she asked.
"She always has been," replied Michelle. "He's like another dad to her. She has a lot of other parents, doesn't she? Anyway, and he spoils her rotten. Git."
"Don't call Aragorn a git," demanded Robyn. "He's not a git. He's lovely."
"You're biased!" said Michelle. Tracey, Mary-Jo, Michelle and Tafi all then burst out laughing.
"BI-ASSED!!!" they cried.
"17 years and you still find that funny?" said Legolas, shaking his head.
"No, not funny," said Mary-Jo, "hilarious."
"Ok, I have no idea what the hell you are talking bout, so can we just go to the Palace now?" said Robyn.
"Good idea,' said Legolas. "They can follow behind at their own pace. You just know they are going to be talking for hours and taking a very long time about it."
*****
A/N: Dehydrated snow
All I'll say is there something that I'm hoping is going to be a shock in the next couple of chapters. ^_^ Luvs Elfie xXxXx
