Title: "Episode 83 & 1/2 - With A Little Help From My Friends".
Part: 09/12
Author: "A Gentleman Of Leisure".
Summary: There's a stranger in town and the world's about to end. Who you gonna call?
Story Type: In-Canon adventure set between Episodes 83 & 84 (hence the title).
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Up to Series 5, Episode 83 (of course).
Pairing: In-Canon
Disclaimer: In the beginning there was Joss. And Joss said "Let there be Buffy". And there was Buffy. And it was the morning and the evening of the first episode. And lo, Joss saw that it was good. (All copyrights and trademarks acknowledged - it's all just a bit of fun, folks. Thank you.)
Author's Note: I'm a British writer, so there may be some terms (and spelling) not used in the US. OK? Now read on...
*
Part Nine - 'Ride Of The Valkeries' - Wagner.
Three people responded simultaneously to the figures emerging from the dust and smoke.
"Spike!" said Willow. "You look scorched. Are you OK?"
"Yeah, yeah. Being trapped in a cellar and done to a crisp by some sort of lava monster is my idea of the perfect evening out. It'll be weeks before my bloody eyebrows grow back!"
"Dawn!" said Buffy, welcoming her sister with a fierce hug. "Your hair's all singed. What happened to you? Are you alright? Are you hurt? Any burns? Where did you go to? Is that The Spear?"
Dawn waved the weapon in the air with a big grin.
"The real thing. I killed the fire demon with it!"
"Long story", Spike said over her shoulder.
"Short version?", Buffy said briskly.
"Fell through the ceiling after us, little sister poked it with that, turned it to cold stone. Zap! Never seen anything like it!"
"Then we dug our way out through the cellar wall, 'cos the doorway was blocked up and our way in had sort of vanished", Dawn said, picking up the story. "Then we sneaked through miles of corridors under the Vatican, to keep in the shade of course. Luckily no one seemed to notice us. And we even got to see the Pope, but he was asleep".
"Good thing too - it wouldn't have done to have the old fellow wake up to find a vampire in his bedroom, would it? We didn't want to frighten the old guy to death, now did we?" Spike commented.
"The Vatican? I guess that makes some kind of sense. So how did you get back?" Tara asked.
"Walked right into the centre of Saint Peter's, under the dome", said Spike. "Dunno why nobody spotted us among the tourists, but I suppose Michael could explain that. Anyway, he did his own mojo - some sort of dead language, don't ask me, couldn't make out what - and here we all are again. You know, even the blasted floor there must be holy - my boots were smoking!"
"So we left there hotfoot", Dawn added with a grin.
"Michael, good to see all of you back in one piece", Giles said quietly. "A lot's happened here since you went through the portal".
"So I see". Michael too sounded calm and cool, despite the obvious signs of disaster visible everywhere around them. He was wearing his hat again, though it was a little battered now and covered in dust.
"Yes. Well I hope you got what you went for, because it rather looks as if you've come back just in time for the grand finale", Giles said.
"As you can see, we did indeed succeed, but don't worry, this is not the end yet. This is only the beginning of the end" Michael told him soberly. "The real end will be much worse".
"Optimistic much?. Just what we need right now", Buffy commented quietly, but only Willow heard her.
"Well then", said Giles, "if we don't stop it I suspect the real end is going to turn out to be a close approximation of the Apocalypse that so many people have been so keen to bring about, these last few years. Perhaps a little more comprehensive than they intended, of course".
"So this really is going to be the end of the world?" Xander asked, having only caught the last part of the conversation.
"Of this entire Universe", Michael corrected him soberly. "This, as they say, is the proverbial 'it'".
"So what do we do now?" Anya asked. "We have the invincible weapon, don't we? Why aren't we using it?"
"First we have to find where the other Universe is going to break through into ours. And we don't have much time - to judge by what's happening here right now the process must have already started".
"But where is that, and how long have we got?"
"Over there!" Dawn suddenly announced, pointing dramatically with The Spear. The others all stared at her.
"How do you know?" Buffy asked her, a little surprised.
Dawn looked at her older sister pityingly, as if she'd said something stupid. "I just know. I can feel it, of course. It's over there", she repeated.
"That might be The Spear's influence", Giles told them. "It could be giving her powers she wouldn't normally have. How far away, Dawn?"
"Not far. A couple of miles. What's in that direction?"
The three original members of the Scooby Gang looked at Giles, and he looked at them.
"The ruins of the old High School", they all four said simultaneously.
"Of course, with the Hellmouth directly under the library! Where else would the Apocalypse start?" Buffy said. "We can get there in less than quarter of an hour if we run".
"Du-uh", said Spike. " Let's drive, it's so much quicker. Anyway I'm knackered, and my feet are killing me. Giles, where did you park your car?"
"Round the back of the shop". He looked round in the smoke and gloom, trying to orient himself. "Over there I think, isn't it?"
"No, over there", said Xander, shaking his head. "You librarian types, no idea, no bump of location". He tapped his forehead to clarify his meaning.
"No, no. Over that way", Anya told him. "We saw this body first, so we must have come from over there".
"Buffy?" Willow asked. "Do you know which way the shop is?"
"Was", Buffy corrected her. "It fell on me. There's just a great big pile of rubble and wreckage now. But it's definitely over that way", and she pointed confidently in another direction entirely.
"You're all wrong", Dawn told them. "If the school's that way, then the shop's that way", and she pointed equally confidently in a fourth direction.
"Well", said Giles, "we seem to have a choice of every point of the compass, which gets us absolutely nowhere. Unless, Michael, have you got any idea?"
"It's academic, in any case", Spike said. "You don't have to go and find your car - your car's coming to us. I'd get out of the road if I were you".
"What did you say? I don't understand", said Giles. "How can my car be coming this way?"
Spike gave him the sort of look teachers reserve for very slow pupils, rolled his eyes to the heavens, and said in clear distinct tones "Because it's been stolen", and he pointed into the gloom.
Two lights could be seen approaching through the smoke, veering erratically this way and that across the narrow street. Everyone scattered to avoid being mown down, and Giles caught a glimpse of his fine new red open topped sports car filled with at least half a dozen demons, laughing and shouting, and banging on the sides of the vehicle. Already it had several dents in it, the front fender was missing, and one of the headlights was hanging loose, though it was still working.
"My lovely car!" exclaimed Giles, horrified, his voice half an octave higher than normal. "You vandals! Stop thief!" and he started to run after it, wildly waving his axe.
Suddenly the car screeched to a halt, and most of the demons piled out,. They started to walk back towards him, some menacingly waving clubs and swords, all of them obviously looking for a fight.
'Right', thought Buffy, scooping up some building debris from the road. She selected half a brick, weighed it briefly in her hand, and then let fly with it.
Giles flinched as it whizzed loudly past his ear, but instead of hitting one of the approaching demons, it struck the only one still sitting in the car - the driver - hitting it on the back of the head with a thud. It gave an anguished howl and fell out of the driver's door onto the roadway, as dead as a doornail!
The other demons stopped in their tracks and looked back at their suddenly deceased companion, then at each other, and then charged straight at Giles. Another brick skimmed past his other ear as he raised his axe, prepared to do battle to rescue his beloved car. This one struck the forehead of the leading demon with a loud crack of breaking bone, and it fell flat on its face at Giles' feet, and never moved again.
Now Buffy ran up to where he stood bravely swinging his axe to and fro, and let fly with another hefty missile, which crunched into another ugly snarling face. Behind them, shouting and cheers indicated that the other Scoobies were rapidly approaching in support, and then Dawn ran straight past all of them and speared the nearest remaining demon, which instantly turned into what seemed to be solid stone.
That left three others (the car had been very full of demons). Now outnumbered, they looked at each other anxiously, and while they delayed, Dawn speared a second one, which turned immediately into another very ugly stone statue, and Buffy scored another direct hit with a brick. That left one, which froze in sheer horror as Giles stepped forwards and swung his little axe.
The head leaped from the demon's shoulders, and hit one of its two petrified companions, which fell over and brought down the other one with it.
"Strike!" shouted Dawn. "Yay, we win!" and she started dancing round the fallen stone figures, leaping about like a primitive savage, her hair flying, shaking The Spear in the air and whooping like a Native American in a cowboy film.
Michael grabbed her arm, and pointed at the car.
"Everybody in", he said firmly. "I don't think we have much time left. 'The end of the world is at hand' as they say".
"He's right. Everyone pile in", Giles said, dragging the dead demon that had been driving his precious car away from the vehicle, and wiping the spattered green blood off the dashboard with his handkerchief.
They all squeezed into the car, which was not even a real four seater, just a two plus two. Somehow Michael and Buffy both managed to find room to sit in the front with Giles, and Dawn stood precariously hanging on to the windscreen, waving her spear. Everyone else found somewhere in the back, either squashed into the two small seats, or sitting on the trunk of the car with their feet either side of the seated passengers.
"'Hold very tight please - Ting ting!' Here we go", Giles announced, and the car ground reluctantly into forward motion. Once started it seemed a lot happier and picked up speed, though seeing through the murk was a big problem.
Buffy leaned out of her side of the vehicle so that with her keener Slayer eyesight she could warn Giles of any obstructions, stray people, vampires or demons wandering about in their path. The first two Giles carefully slowed down for and avoided, the latter two he cheerfully and vengefully accelerated at and attempted to run down.
The air began to clear as they got out of Sunnydale's central shopping district, and they could pick up speed. Now they could see where they were going. Emergency vehicles were dashing about, sirens wailing. Stars became visible in the night sky, and Giles had time to look round at his car crammed full with passengers. All the girls' hair flying wildly in the slipstream, their fierce expressions looking forwards into the darkness ahead towards the battle about to be joined, the weapons firmly grasped, The Spear in Dawn's hand pointing the way, somehow brought to mind a production of Wagner's Ring Cycle he'd once seen, and he smiled wryly to himself.
This other universe, with its single strange inhabitant and its power to completely engulf their own continuum, had no idea what was coming to get it! His car may well be currently doing a good imitation of a middle eastern taxicab, crammed to the gills and greatly overloaded, with its suspension compressed utterly beyond its design specifications, but to him it was a war chariot, and he started to hum Wagner's magnificent theme 'The Ride Of The Valkeries' to himself with a stupid grin on his face!
End Of Part Nine. To Be Continued...
Part: 09/12
Author: "A Gentleman Of Leisure".
Summary: There's a stranger in town and the world's about to end. Who you gonna call?
Story Type: In-Canon adventure set between Episodes 83 & 84 (hence the title).
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Up to Series 5, Episode 83 (of course).
Pairing: In-Canon
Disclaimer: In the beginning there was Joss. And Joss said "Let there be Buffy". And there was Buffy. And it was the morning and the evening of the first episode. And lo, Joss saw that it was good. (All copyrights and trademarks acknowledged - it's all just a bit of fun, folks. Thank you.)
Author's Note: I'm a British writer, so there may be some terms (and spelling) not used in the US. OK? Now read on...
*
Part Nine - 'Ride Of The Valkeries' - Wagner.
Three people responded simultaneously to the figures emerging from the dust and smoke.
"Spike!" said Willow. "You look scorched. Are you OK?"
"Yeah, yeah. Being trapped in a cellar and done to a crisp by some sort of lava monster is my idea of the perfect evening out. It'll be weeks before my bloody eyebrows grow back!"
"Dawn!" said Buffy, welcoming her sister with a fierce hug. "Your hair's all singed. What happened to you? Are you alright? Are you hurt? Any burns? Where did you go to? Is that The Spear?"
Dawn waved the weapon in the air with a big grin.
"The real thing. I killed the fire demon with it!"
"Long story", Spike said over her shoulder.
"Short version?", Buffy said briskly.
"Fell through the ceiling after us, little sister poked it with that, turned it to cold stone. Zap! Never seen anything like it!"
"Then we dug our way out through the cellar wall, 'cos the doorway was blocked up and our way in had sort of vanished", Dawn said, picking up the story. "Then we sneaked through miles of corridors under the Vatican, to keep in the shade of course. Luckily no one seemed to notice us. And we even got to see the Pope, but he was asleep".
"Good thing too - it wouldn't have done to have the old fellow wake up to find a vampire in his bedroom, would it? We didn't want to frighten the old guy to death, now did we?" Spike commented.
"The Vatican? I guess that makes some kind of sense. So how did you get back?" Tara asked.
"Walked right into the centre of Saint Peter's, under the dome", said Spike. "Dunno why nobody spotted us among the tourists, but I suppose Michael could explain that. Anyway, he did his own mojo - some sort of dead language, don't ask me, couldn't make out what - and here we all are again. You know, even the blasted floor there must be holy - my boots were smoking!"
"So we left there hotfoot", Dawn added with a grin.
"Michael, good to see all of you back in one piece", Giles said quietly. "A lot's happened here since you went through the portal".
"So I see". Michael too sounded calm and cool, despite the obvious signs of disaster visible everywhere around them. He was wearing his hat again, though it was a little battered now and covered in dust.
"Yes. Well I hope you got what you went for, because it rather looks as if you've come back just in time for the grand finale", Giles said.
"As you can see, we did indeed succeed, but don't worry, this is not the end yet. This is only the beginning of the end" Michael told him soberly. "The real end will be much worse".
"Optimistic much?. Just what we need right now", Buffy commented quietly, but only Willow heard her.
"Well then", said Giles, "if we don't stop it I suspect the real end is going to turn out to be a close approximation of the Apocalypse that so many people have been so keen to bring about, these last few years. Perhaps a little more comprehensive than they intended, of course".
"So this really is going to be the end of the world?" Xander asked, having only caught the last part of the conversation.
"Of this entire Universe", Michael corrected him soberly. "This, as they say, is the proverbial 'it'".
"So what do we do now?" Anya asked. "We have the invincible weapon, don't we? Why aren't we using it?"
"First we have to find where the other Universe is going to break through into ours. And we don't have much time - to judge by what's happening here right now the process must have already started".
"But where is that, and how long have we got?"
"Over there!" Dawn suddenly announced, pointing dramatically with The Spear. The others all stared at her.
"How do you know?" Buffy asked her, a little surprised.
Dawn looked at her older sister pityingly, as if she'd said something stupid. "I just know. I can feel it, of course. It's over there", she repeated.
"That might be The Spear's influence", Giles told them. "It could be giving her powers she wouldn't normally have. How far away, Dawn?"
"Not far. A couple of miles. What's in that direction?"
The three original members of the Scooby Gang looked at Giles, and he looked at them.
"The ruins of the old High School", they all four said simultaneously.
"Of course, with the Hellmouth directly under the library! Where else would the Apocalypse start?" Buffy said. "We can get there in less than quarter of an hour if we run".
"Du-uh", said Spike. " Let's drive, it's so much quicker. Anyway I'm knackered, and my feet are killing me. Giles, where did you park your car?"
"Round the back of the shop". He looked round in the smoke and gloom, trying to orient himself. "Over there I think, isn't it?"
"No, over there", said Xander, shaking his head. "You librarian types, no idea, no bump of location". He tapped his forehead to clarify his meaning.
"No, no. Over that way", Anya told him. "We saw this body first, so we must have come from over there".
"Buffy?" Willow asked. "Do you know which way the shop is?"
"Was", Buffy corrected her. "It fell on me. There's just a great big pile of rubble and wreckage now. But it's definitely over that way", and she pointed confidently in another direction entirely.
"You're all wrong", Dawn told them. "If the school's that way, then the shop's that way", and she pointed equally confidently in a fourth direction.
"Well", said Giles, "we seem to have a choice of every point of the compass, which gets us absolutely nowhere. Unless, Michael, have you got any idea?"
"It's academic, in any case", Spike said. "You don't have to go and find your car - your car's coming to us. I'd get out of the road if I were you".
"What did you say? I don't understand", said Giles. "How can my car be coming this way?"
Spike gave him the sort of look teachers reserve for very slow pupils, rolled his eyes to the heavens, and said in clear distinct tones "Because it's been stolen", and he pointed into the gloom.
Two lights could be seen approaching through the smoke, veering erratically this way and that across the narrow street. Everyone scattered to avoid being mown down, and Giles caught a glimpse of his fine new red open topped sports car filled with at least half a dozen demons, laughing and shouting, and banging on the sides of the vehicle. Already it had several dents in it, the front fender was missing, and one of the headlights was hanging loose, though it was still working.
"My lovely car!" exclaimed Giles, horrified, his voice half an octave higher than normal. "You vandals! Stop thief!" and he started to run after it, wildly waving his axe.
Suddenly the car screeched to a halt, and most of the demons piled out,. They started to walk back towards him, some menacingly waving clubs and swords, all of them obviously looking for a fight.
'Right', thought Buffy, scooping up some building debris from the road. She selected half a brick, weighed it briefly in her hand, and then let fly with it.
Giles flinched as it whizzed loudly past his ear, but instead of hitting one of the approaching demons, it struck the only one still sitting in the car - the driver - hitting it on the back of the head with a thud. It gave an anguished howl and fell out of the driver's door onto the roadway, as dead as a doornail!
The other demons stopped in their tracks and looked back at their suddenly deceased companion, then at each other, and then charged straight at Giles. Another brick skimmed past his other ear as he raised his axe, prepared to do battle to rescue his beloved car. This one struck the forehead of the leading demon with a loud crack of breaking bone, and it fell flat on its face at Giles' feet, and never moved again.
Now Buffy ran up to where he stood bravely swinging his axe to and fro, and let fly with another hefty missile, which crunched into another ugly snarling face. Behind them, shouting and cheers indicated that the other Scoobies were rapidly approaching in support, and then Dawn ran straight past all of them and speared the nearest remaining demon, which instantly turned into what seemed to be solid stone.
That left three others (the car had been very full of demons). Now outnumbered, they looked at each other anxiously, and while they delayed, Dawn speared a second one, which turned immediately into another very ugly stone statue, and Buffy scored another direct hit with a brick. That left one, which froze in sheer horror as Giles stepped forwards and swung his little axe.
The head leaped from the demon's shoulders, and hit one of its two petrified companions, which fell over and brought down the other one with it.
"Strike!" shouted Dawn. "Yay, we win!" and she started dancing round the fallen stone figures, leaping about like a primitive savage, her hair flying, shaking The Spear in the air and whooping like a Native American in a cowboy film.
Michael grabbed her arm, and pointed at the car.
"Everybody in", he said firmly. "I don't think we have much time left. 'The end of the world is at hand' as they say".
"He's right. Everyone pile in", Giles said, dragging the dead demon that had been driving his precious car away from the vehicle, and wiping the spattered green blood off the dashboard with his handkerchief.
They all squeezed into the car, which was not even a real four seater, just a two plus two. Somehow Michael and Buffy both managed to find room to sit in the front with Giles, and Dawn stood precariously hanging on to the windscreen, waving her spear. Everyone else found somewhere in the back, either squashed into the two small seats, or sitting on the trunk of the car with their feet either side of the seated passengers.
"'Hold very tight please - Ting ting!' Here we go", Giles announced, and the car ground reluctantly into forward motion. Once started it seemed a lot happier and picked up speed, though seeing through the murk was a big problem.
Buffy leaned out of her side of the vehicle so that with her keener Slayer eyesight she could warn Giles of any obstructions, stray people, vampires or demons wandering about in their path. The first two Giles carefully slowed down for and avoided, the latter two he cheerfully and vengefully accelerated at and attempted to run down.
The air began to clear as they got out of Sunnydale's central shopping district, and they could pick up speed. Now they could see where they were going. Emergency vehicles were dashing about, sirens wailing. Stars became visible in the night sky, and Giles had time to look round at his car crammed full with passengers. All the girls' hair flying wildly in the slipstream, their fierce expressions looking forwards into the darkness ahead towards the battle about to be joined, the weapons firmly grasped, The Spear in Dawn's hand pointing the way, somehow brought to mind a production of Wagner's Ring Cycle he'd once seen, and he smiled wryly to himself.
This other universe, with its single strange inhabitant and its power to completely engulf their own continuum, had no idea what was coming to get it! His car may well be currently doing a good imitation of a middle eastern taxicab, crammed to the gills and greatly overloaded, with its suspension compressed utterly beyond its design specifications, but to him it was a war chariot, and he started to hum Wagner's magnificent theme 'The Ride Of The Valkeries' to himself with a stupid grin on his face!
End Of Part Nine. To Be Continued...
