Chapter Twenty-one
May 7th, 1945
The days and nights were not easy for Minerva after those first nightmare-ridden and half-sleepless hours between the dusk and dawn. She refused to speak of what had happened even after The Daily Prophet published rumors that the Grindelwald had been defeated by Albus Dumbledore. Her close friends chose to honor her silence at the request of their head of house. Minerva didn't care about the glory and said as much to Dumbledore when they perused the paper in his office one afternoon. She didn't care about the recognition or fame, only that the conflict was over and done. She could not sleep and could hardly eat, but what of it? The wizarding world was safe. Albus was alive and well, although not enjoying the attention very much. She had the impression that he had received a stern dressing down from Headmaster Dippet that would affect his career for many years to come.
Then Minerva finally realized what she needed to do. It was so simple. She needed someone to cast a memory charm on her and make her forget that any of it had happened. It would be so easy to forget everything with the simple aid of magic. She could return to her happy and comfortable life and enjoy her last days at Hogwarts before the summer holiday was to begin. Without those memories she could perhaps even continue with her career plans after her next and final year as a student. Minerva believed that she had, by helping in her mentor's campaign against Grindelwald, done her part in the fight against the darkness. Therefore, she reasoned, she had earned this meager amount of compensation. And perhaps she truly had.
After transfigurations class that day, when all the other students had filed out of the classroom, Minerva approached Professor Dumbledore. Her eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep, and every day Vector and Weasley informed him that something was wrong with Minerva and pressed him to do something to help her or at least tell them what was wrong so that they could do something. He listened to them patiently, but told them nothing. Minerva wanted it that way, though he could not for the very life of him understand why.
"Albus, I would like to ask you to do something for me." she said in very determined tones.
He looked up from his desk and over the rims of his spectacles and said, "You only need ask, my dear."
"Put a memory charm on me, Albus." said Minerva bluntly, inclining her chin just slightly and trying so hard to sound brave and sensible about the whole affair.
"Minerva, you don't know what you're asking." he said, walking around the desk. "This isn't something to be done lightly or capriciously."
"I know, but I am afraid I shall go mad if you don't, and I would not ask if I weren't certain about it." she said stubbornly.
"I ... I don't like to see you suffer, but perhaps if you just gave it a little longer, allowed yourself time to heal and to move on naturally." he suggested, putting a gentle hand upon her shoulder.
"I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't hardly think." she whispered as her courage wavered. "The things I saw ..."
"You handled yourself very well, Minerva, and you have every right to be proud of your conduct." he said.
"Just do this one thing for me. Please?"
"You will forget everything we did. The good and the bad. Everything ..." he warned her with regret in his eyes.
She looked into his eyes in surprise as he lightly touched her lips. The kiss she had given him ... he was saying that he wanted her to remember that. But he had hardly even returned it. Why should it matter to him? She certainly did not want to forget it. The kiss was her first, and she had kissed the man that she loved. But what was that to him?
Albus smiled softly at her. It had not meant so much to him at the time. So much was happening. The shock of defeating Grindelwald, of living through the experience, was much greater than that of her kiss. He wished, in vain it seemed, that he could turn back time just a little bit and truly kiss her as she deserved to be kissed. He had half a mind to do so then and there in hopes of changing her mind and because he truly wanted to kiss Minerva. But would even that sway her? He was not certain.
"Then I must forget them both, but ... I will still look at you in the same way." she managed. Her mind was made up, and there was no changing it.
"Very well." he said with a soft sigh, gesturing toward his chair. "Sit down and I will do what is asked of me."
It was a quietly symbolic gesture. The chair behind his desk was to him as Grindelwald's throne had been to the Dark Wizard. It was the one from which he sometimes taught and at which he judged all the efforts of his students. Minerva took a seat knowing this and understanding the gesture. He was treating her as a peer and an equal.
"It isn't going to be a strong charm. I mean for it to be broken someday when you are strong enough, when you are ready." Albus told her, brushing errant strands of sable black hair from her face.
"That will be fine." she agreed with a trembling smile.
Albus tucked her under the chin as he drew his wand. He wanted to persuade her to wait. He would have said anything necessary to change her mind, but he knew Minerva McGonagall. There was no woman half so stubborn in all of the world. Her will was one of adamant. If only she were not so young and so foolish ... The trade she was making would never seem equitable to him, but it was her memory and her decision.
He pointed his wand at her and spoke softly, but firmly, "Obliviate!"
Her face relaxed and became calm and less strained. Albus touched her cheek lightly, watching her eyes become unfocused and grow slightly bleary.
"Minerva? Are you all right?" he questioned.
"Albus?"
"That's right." he said, moving away as she blinked a few times and the bleariness faded.
"Whatever am I doing here?"
"You were just on your way to your next class, I believe." he answered, tucking his wand away and helping her from the chair.
"Next class, right." she agreed, shaking her head to clear it.
"Will I see you this evening, Minerva?" he inquired as she gathered her books and things from her desk where she had left them.
"I don't know, Albus. I am feeling rather tired. Could we have afternoon tea tomorrow perhaps?" asked Minerva.
"Of course." he agreed before sending her off to class.
Putting that charm on his young friend was one of the most difficult things he had ever done. It nearly broke his heart to know that Minerva would not be able to remember her own finest hour, in which she, a mere sixth year student had stood up to the most powerful and deadly Dark Wizard of their day and had saved her professor's life, and would not even remember her first kiss. He knew what it had been and how special. A very small part of him was glad that she would not remember the horrors of war or the Cruciatus curse. But he wondered if the trade could be called fair by any stretch of the imagination. Only time would truly tell.
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A/N: Stay tuned for the epilogue.
MK: Thank you for reviewing!
Whisper: Everyone had problems with ff.net earlier in the week, myself included ... So frustrating! Grindelwald, I think, might be a village or something in Switzerland. I still haven't figured that out yet. I would love to live in a place called 'Voldemort'. That would be cool (weird too). I had to make Moody handsome. I just had to. If he was ugly to begin with ... getting all scarred up might be seen as a favor (as it would detract from the natural ugliness). Um, have I admitted that I'm shallow yet, 'cause it's about time. I am desperately trying not to write another one of these (unrequited, this timeline stories), and it is taking all of my energy not to do it. So I'm looking for a fluffy (requited love) idea to latch onto at the moment. I'm glad you liked the nightmare. Thanks for the review!
Michelle: Thank you for the review!
Child-of-the-Dawn: Thanks!
May 7th, 1945
The days and nights were not easy for Minerva after those first nightmare-ridden and half-sleepless hours between the dusk and dawn. She refused to speak of what had happened even after The Daily Prophet published rumors that the Grindelwald had been defeated by Albus Dumbledore. Her close friends chose to honor her silence at the request of their head of house. Minerva didn't care about the glory and said as much to Dumbledore when they perused the paper in his office one afternoon. She didn't care about the recognition or fame, only that the conflict was over and done. She could not sleep and could hardly eat, but what of it? The wizarding world was safe. Albus was alive and well, although not enjoying the attention very much. She had the impression that he had received a stern dressing down from Headmaster Dippet that would affect his career for many years to come.
Then Minerva finally realized what she needed to do. It was so simple. She needed someone to cast a memory charm on her and make her forget that any of it had happened. It would be so easy to forget everything with the simple aid of magic. She could return to her happy and comfortable life and enjoy her last days at Hogwarts before the summer holiday was to begin. Without those memories she could perhaps even continue with her career plans after her next and final year as a student. Minerva believed that she had, by helping in her mentor's campaign against Grindelwald, done her part in the fight against the darkness. Therefore, she reasoned, she had earned this meager amount of compensation. And perhaps she truly had.
After transfigurations class that day, when all the other students had filed out of the classroom, Minerva approached Professor Dumbledore. Her eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep, and every day Vector and Weasley informed him that something was wrong with Minerva and pressed him to do something to help her or at least tell them what was wrong so that they could do something. He listened to them patiently, but told them nothing. Minerva wanted it that way, though he could not for the very life of him understand why.
"Albus, I would like to ask you to do something for me." she said in very determined tones.
He looked up from his desk and over the rims of his spectacles and said, "You only need ask, my dear."
"Put a memory charm on me, Albus." said Minerva bluntly, inclining her chin just slightly and trying so hard to sound brave and sensible about the whole affair.
"Minerva, you don't know what you're asking." he said, walking around the desk. "This isn't something to be done lightly or capriciously."
"I know, but I am afraid I shall go mad if you don't, and I would not ask if I weren't certain about it." she said stubbornly.
"I ... I don't like to see you suffer, but perhaps if you just gave it a little longer, allowed yourself time to heal and to move on naturally." he suggested, putting a gentle hand upon her shoulder.
"I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't hardly think." she whispered as her courage wavered. "The things I saw ..."
"You handled yourself very well, Minerva, and you have every right to be proud of your conduct." he said.
"Just do this one thing for me. Please?"
"You will forget everything we did. The good and the bad. Everything ..." he warned her with regret in his eyes.
She looked into his eyes in surprise as he lightly touched her lips. The kiss she had given him ... he was saying that he wanted her to remember that. But he had hardly even returned it. Why should it matter to him? She certainly did not want to forget it. The kiss was her first, and she had kissed the man that she loved. But what was that to him?
Albus smiled softly at her. It had not meant so much to him at the time. So much was happening. The shock of defeating Grindelwald, of living through the experience, was much greater than that of her kiss. He wished, in vain it seemed, that he could turn back time just a little bit and truly kiss her as she deserved to be kissed. He had half a mind to do so then and there in hopes of changing her mind and because he truly wanted to kiss Minerva. But would even that sway her? He was not certain.
"Then I must forget them both, but ... I will still look at you in the same way." she managed. Her mind was made up, and there was no changing it.
"Very well." he said with a soft sigh, gesturing toward his chair. "Sit down and I will do what is asked of me."
It was a quietly symbolic gesture. The chair behind his desk was to him as Grindelwald's throne had been to the Dark Wizard. It was the one from which he sometimes taught and at which he judged all the efforts of his students. Minerva took a seat knowing this and understanding the gesture. He was treating her as a peer and an equal.
"It isn't going to be a strong charm. I mean for it to be broken someday when you are strong enough, when you are ready." Albus told her, brushing errant strands of sable black hair from her face.
"That will be fine." she agreed with a trembling smile.
Albus tucked her under the chin as he drew his wand. He wanted to persuade her to wait. He would have said anything necessary to change her mind, but he knew Minerva McGonagall. There was no woman half so stubborn in all of the world. Her will was one of adamant. If only she were not so young and so foolish ... The trade she was making would never seem equitable to him, but it was her memory and her decision.
He pointed his wand at her and spoke softly, but firmly, "Obliviate!"
Her face relaxed and became calm and less strained. Albus touched her cheek lightly, watching her eyes become unfocused and grow slightly bleary.
"Minerva? Are you all right?" he questioned.
"Albus?"
"That's right." he said, moving away as she blinked a few times and the bleariness faded.
"Whatever am I doing here?"
"You were just on your way to your next class, I believe." he answered, tucking his wand away and helping her from the chair.
"Next class, right." she agreed, shaking her head to clear it.
"Will I see you this evening, Minerva?" he inquired as she gathered her books and things from her desk where she had left them.
"I don't know, Albus. I am feeling rather tired. Could we have afternoon tea tomorrow perhaps?" asked Minerva.
"Of course." he agreed before sending her off to class.
Putting that charm on his young friend was one of the most difficult things he had ever done. It nearly broke his heart to know that Minerva would not be able to remember her own finest hour, in which she, a mere sixth year student had stood up to the most powerful and deadly Dark Wizard of their day and had saved her professor's life, and would not even remember her first kiss. He knew what it had been and how special. A very small part of him was glad that she would not remember the horrors of war or the Cruciatus curse. But he wondered if the trade could be called fair by any stretch of the imagination. Only time would truly tell.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: Stay tuned for the epilogue.
MK: Thank you for reviewing!
Whisper: Everyone had problems with ff.net earlier in the week, myself included ... So frustrating! Grindelwald, I think, might be a village or something in Switzerland. I still haven't figured that out yet. I would love to live in a place called 'Voldemort'. That would be cool (weird too). I had to make Moody handsome. I just had to. If he was ugly to begin with ... getting all scarred up might be seen as a favor (as it would detract from the natural ugliness). Um, have I admitted that I'm shallow yet, 'cause it's about time. I am desperately trying not to write another one of these (unrequited, this timeline stories), and it is taking all of my energy not to do it. So I'm looking for a fluffy (requited love) idea to latch onto at the moment. I'm glad you liked the nightmare. Thanks for the review!
Michelle: Thank you for the review!
Child-of-the-Dawn: Thanks!
