DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters associated with BtVS or AtS, as they belong to Joss Whedon et al. I do however own Hopie, Maddy, Colette, Nic, Clay, and the leprechauns.
Retroactive Disclaimer: I don't own the lyrics on the last page. I'm pretty sure Bunny Foo Foo belongs to the fine folks at Disney, and Angel belongs to Sarah M.
APUNTES DEL AUTOR: Lo siento/ sorry, I'm feeling in a Spanglishy type mood today. Anyway, here's another short update. Sorry it's so short, but I AM on vacation and this is as much as I can manage. Review for an update, otherwise the lazy vibes will probably take over…
The Luck of the Irish: Chapter Three
Angel slammed Clever Hans into the wall with his left hand. Hans twisted his already gruesome face into what probably passed for a demon pout.
"Careful with the neck. I'm getting over a rash," he said.
Angel looked uneasily at his hand and then his mind returned to the task at hand. "It's the funniest thing," Angel said, his voice low and dangerous, "my fiancé and I received a call today from Hopie's kindergarten teacher. It seems she's disappeared."
The demon gave Angel a sorrowful look. "I'm sorry to here that, my boy," he said.
"Another funny thing," Angel said. "It seems she's a leprechaun hostage."
Clever Hans choked on a giggle. "So the little green fellows took exemption to your attitude, did they? I should've known… I mean, there's no way I could have known. I was just the messenger." He shot Angel a pathetic look. "You don't shoot the messenger, do you?"
"I don't know," Angel said. Then he sighed and loosened his grip a bit. "No, I don't," he said. Then his hand clamped his hand down hard around the demon's neck once more. "But there's a distinct chance I might be in favor of maiming the messenger, just this once. I do have a thing for alliteration, Hans."
"Clever Hans," the demon gasped in correction.
Angel rolled his eyes and allowed the demon some air. "Where the hell is my daughter?" Angel asked. "And why would the leprechauns want her in the first place?"
Clever Hans stared at Angel. "You don't get it, do you?" He leaned over and pinched Angel really hard. Angel's mouth dropped open in shock. This short, fat, poor excuse for a "clever" demon had just pinched him.
"You're not wearing green," he explained.
Angel, clad in his trademark black, shrugged.
"You've forgotten your heritage," he said. "Worse yet, you've forgotten your family."
"Hopie is my family," Angel said, but his mind was on the package, sitting at home on his desk.
Colette fingered the package, and as she heard Maddy doing her best out in the hall to keep all of the adults on their toes.
"Well, it's not like the guy is a total stranger. We've chatted, like twice!" Only Colette heard the giggle in Maddy's voice as she strung the older people along. Colette rolled her eyes. It seemed to be a steadfast rule that all any teenager had to do to completely disconcert their parents was mention the word 'sex.'
"No. Sex." Connor uttered the two words in a low voice.
There was a slight pause, and Colette could practically hear Maddy trying to think of the next thing to say.
"Well…" the girl said.
Colette heard footsteps coming toward the office. Think, Maddy! She instructed the girl mentally, taking a deep breath.
"Does-it-really-count-as-sex-if-it-happens-in-a-hot-tub?" Maddy blurted out.
"Yes!" everyone over the age of sixteen shouted at once.
Colette heard the footsteps turn away, and, after slipping the package down her shirt, she slowly opened the door and did what she did best. She went unnoticed.
The leprechauns and Hopie all sat in a circle next to the shimmering purple water, still wearing their floaty wings.
After explaining the game to them very carefully, Hopie started.
"Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?" she said rhythmically in a high sing-song voice. She grinned then, and targeted her look at Spelke. "Spelke stole the cookie from the cookie jar."
Spelke, forgetting the purpose of the game, jumped to his little leprechaun feet. "I didn't steal any cookies! That's an awful thing to accuse a leprechaun of, lass. Around here, we take cookie thieving very seriously. We'd throw the likes of them that would do such a thing to the sheep in a moment."
The other leprechauns stared at Spelke, mentally telling him to be quiet.
"Baaaaaaa," said Nunzio dangerously in a duet with another sheep.
"Nunzio, Angelique, shush. There will be no cookie thieves for you today," Clarence called out in a soothing voice.
The sheep quieted. Hopie peered closely at the sheep called Angelique.
"My daddy's name is Angel," Hopie said after a moment.
The leprechauns nodded. This wasn't news to them.
"We know, lass," said Clarence.
"That's the broody sheep," Wynn said helpfully, nodding to Angelique, who did rather resemble her namesake with the dark look that had settled over her face.
Hopie nodded. It all made sense. "Okay," she said patiently. "I'll explain the game one more time…"
As Colette crept up the stairs unnoticed, a huge grin spread across Maddy's face.
"What are you thinking about?" Gunn asked suspiciously.
"Ummmm…" Maddy tried to think of a benign answer. After all, she didn't really need to distract the adults any longer. Then again, benign was rarely fun, and Lady Madeline was a girl who lived for fun.
"I was thinking," she said slowly, "that maybe I'd like to join a nudist colony." And with that announcement, Maddy practically skipped out of the room and up the stairs.
Colette was waiting for her, and the two of them carefully opened the package. Maddy gingerly took the contents into her hands. There were drawings, dozens of them, of a little girl, a young man, and the beautiful countryside.
Maddy stared at the girl in the picture. "Who do you think they are?" she asked Colette, her voice low.
"My family," a voice came from beside them. They both looked up guiltily into Angel's face.
"They were my family." His voice hung in the air.
Clarence smiled. At last Angel was getting the message. "Little cousin," the old leprechaun said, addressing Hopie, who was teaching all of the leprechauns how to play 'Hopie says.'
"Hopie says… spin around in circles," the little child said. As all of the leprechauns and several of the sheep began spinning around in circles, Hopie answered him. "Yes, Clarence?"
"Darling lass, would you do an old leprechaun a favor and perhaps bring your papa here for us?" Clarence knew it would be faster to have the child bring Angel than to use his own fae magic.
Hopie nodded and smiled. She would do more than just bring Daddy. Connor and Momma and some of her new friends would want to see the sheep too.
"Hopie says… pat the sheep," the little girl said, concentrating on her magic.
"Baaaaaaaaaaaa," said Nunzio. Angelique said nothing. She was sitting in a corner brooding.
TBC… ok, next chapter, Angel must pass the leprechaun's trials to regain Hopie, and Cordelia won't let him do it alone (FLUFF)… Connor, Maddy, and Colette get to meet the leprechauns, and Clay and Nic have an interesting moment at home. Then, a major fluffy final chapter to be posted on St. Patrick's day, assuming I'm still getting reviews.
