Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda, I never have owned Zelda, and unless something drastic happens, I probably never will own Zelda. But I can dream.

The Great Duct-tape War
by Skye Dragon


Skye's rambling spot: RUN FOR YOU LIVES!!!! I'M WRITTING ZELDA FICTION NOW!!!! Isn't that scary? I think so. But anyhoo, believe it or not, there is a reason behind this story. It is my belief that nothing is good until there's fanfiction written about it. And it isn't real fanfiction until there's a duct-tape war written about it. ^_^ I love duct-tape wars, they're so much fun! *insert evil laughter here* Anyhoo, read, review, flame. Whatever. And if you flame me, then can you send some marshmallows too? Maybe I can dig up the stuff and have some s'mores. . .

*~*~*~*

The moon hung high in the sky, bathing the world below it in soft pale light. Stars twinkled in the dark sky all around the moon. They glittered like jewels, winking at the land and it's inhabitants.

The forest below was quiet. It was just another warm summer night. The air was alive with the soft sounds of cricket chirps and the occasional call of night birds. A light breeze blew threw the trees, creating a gentle rustle. The Wind moved on, gently stroking the back of a sleeping rabbit, then running it's fingers through the lofty grass. The Wind rose back up to tug at tree tops, making them sway from one side to the other, before coming back down to play on the surface of a small pond. But the Wind could not stay in any one place for very long, and it soon moved on. Sometimes carrying winged insects on it's back, sometimes caressing the fur of slumbering animals. Sometimes it was higher than the trees, almost touching the moon. Sometimes it was lower than the grass, moving pebbles. But it was always moving.

During it's journey, the Wind found itself flowing through a small clearing. In the clearing, was a small dot of glowing pink. Upon closer inspection, the Wind found it was a faerie. The Wind curled around her, touching her delicate looking wings, running its hand through her silky hair. Why was a faerie out here at this time of the night? The Wind was curious, but it couldn't stop. It had to keep moving. So, with one last caress, it left her and continued on its never-ending journey.

*~*~*~*

The faerie felt the breeze under her wings. It was cool against her lithe body and
felt good in the heat of the night. She was tempted to follow it, but she couldn't. She had to stay there. She was waiting.

A small sigh escaped her tiny lips. When would he come? She had been waiting there all night! She continued to hover there in the air. The breeze was gone but she could hear the trees rustling. It was very peaceful.

Then she saw it. A pink glow coming towards her. Any Kokiri that might have seen this would have known that the glow was a faerie, but they also would have thought that the faerie was hurt, perhaps with a broken wing, for it moved oddly. It was slower than any other faerie, and it flew as if it had too much weight for it's wings to carry. But the faerie that had been waiting knew why the other was flying like that.

She hurried toward him. "You've got the stuff?"

The male faerie gave a quick nod and then motioned to the bag he'd been carrying. To a Hylian, it would have been a small bag, only about twice the size of his fist, but to the faeries, the bag was quite large. It was the weight of this bag that had slowed the male faerie down.

"I've got plenty. Where are the others?"

"They're all waiting for us at *his* house." The female, floating-pink-glow answered.

The other pink glow nodded again. "Then lets go!" The female grabbed on to the sac and helped carry it. With two faeries carrying it, the bag wasn't so heavy.

Soon the two pink-glows-with-a-bag were in the Kokiri village. All was quiet here. The Kokiri were all asleep, as well as their own guardian faeries. The pale moonlight cast odd looking shadows on the ground.

Moving as quietly as possible, the two faeries soon found themselves just outside of one of the tree houses. There was a group of eight other floating pink glows waiting for them there.

There were excited whispers all around.

"You've got it!"

"So we're really going to do this?"

"I'm glad. He really deserves this."

"Yes, imagine! Bottling all of us faeries up like that. Doesn't he know we have lives too?"

"I agree!"

"That's right!"

"We have families too!"

"We'll teach him a lesson!"

"I bet he'll never try to catch one of us again."

"Serves him right."

"HEY!" The male faerie called. All of the others hushed and looked at him expectantly. "We've got to be quiet. This won't work if we wake him up." He peered at his fellow faeries and when they all remained quiet, he continued. "Alright now. Lets do this before we wake one of *their* faeries up."

There were nods all around and then all ten glows floated up the tree and into the house through a window.

There was only one bed inside the tree house. And in that bed was the owner of the house. He was buried under his sheets and only a few stray tuffs of sun-kissed blond hair sticking out of one end stood to show where his head was.

"We're lucky *he* doesn't have a guardian faerie. This would be a lot harder if he did." One pink glow commented as the bag was set down on the floor next to the bed.

"What about that Navi faerie?" Another asked.

"She's disappeared. We don't know where she went. *He* doesn't know either."

"Shh! You'll wake him!"

As if on cue, the young boy in the bed stirred then and rolled over, turning his back towards the pink glows. All of the faeries were perfectly still until it was obvious that the boy had gone back to sleep.

"Whew, that was close. Lets hurry up and get this done."

With that said, the faeries all began carefully pulling the sheet away from the boys body. That was the hardest part. The young seemingly Kokiri child would keep stirring, and turning over. At one point, he even reached down to pull the sheet back up. He never truly awakened though, and after some time the faeries had the sheet off the bed.

The boy lay there, still asleep, in the moonlight. He must have been really tired when he went to bed for he was sleeping in his same green tunic that he wore during the day. He had taken his boots, cap, and belt off though. He was laying on his side, his golden hair falling in his face. For a while, the faeries watched the gentle rise and fall of his chest and listened to the soft noises he made as he breathed. There was a look of total peace and innocence on his youthful face.

The male faerie then dumped the contents of the bag on the bed. He looked up at the other faeries and grinned.

"Oh this will be so much fun!"

*~*~*~*

Saria frowned. Where was Link? He'd promised that he would meet her for a picnic lunch today, but he hadn't shown up. Where could he be?

The green-haired Kokiri paused then and realized that she hadn't seen Link all day. What had happened? A tinge of worry started to grow in her then. Surely something hadn't happened. Link wouldn't have left the forest again, would he? He wouldn't leave again and not tell her good-bye, would he?

No sooner had that thought settled in then Saria jumped up from where she'd been sitting against a tree. She hurriedly packed the lunch back up into her basket and then set off for his tree house.

Dropping the basket at the foot of the tree, she scrambled up the ladder to Link's home. The curtain over his window was pulled to. Forcing herself to calm down, she knocked at his door. "Link? Are you home?"

There was no answer.

Her calm was rapidly slipping away from her, as Saria banged on the door again. "Link? Please answer me! LINK?!?"

Her ears picked up a muffled sound from inside. Cautiously she pressed her ears to the door. "Link???" The noise repeated itself. It sounded like someone trying to talk with their mouth full. "Link? I'm coming in now, okay?"

Saria put her hand to the doorknob and slowly pushed open the door. Light from the sun poured into the room, but Saria still couldn't see much. She carefully moved into the room and pulled back his curtains, letting more light in. She then turned to look at Link's home, and when she did, she gasped out loud.

Link was still laying in bed, his face turned toward her. And the look in his sapphire blue eyes told her that he was NOT happy in the least.

And Saria could easily see why.

Link's body was completely covered in duct-tape from the neck down. It was wrapped all around his body like some kind of evil cocoon. Another piece of tape had been pasted across his lips, effectively preventing him from calling for help. But the thing that caught Saria's attention was his hair. Where as Link had once had beautiful sun-spun blond hair that perfectly accented his bright blue eyes, that was now longer. His hair was now . . .

"PINK!?!?!" Saria gasped, staring at the offending thing in horror. Her horror only lasted a few moments though before the Kokiri was suddenly on the floor rolling around in laughter. Link with pink hair, who would have thought? It was hilarious, and she was soon clutching at her stomach for laughing so hard.

Link, from his position on the bed, couldn't do very much to stop her, only glare at her. And when she saw that, she only started laughing even harder, if that was possible.

Couldn't she see how much this was hurting him? He'd been woken in the middle of the night by large glowing insects dive bombing his face and found himself bound and gagged. His attacker had been faeries too. If that wasn't embarrassing enough, they'd also left him. He'd been laying there all day now, having not eaten anything. He was starving from having skipped dinner last night and having a rather light lunch before that. And just to make matters worse, the duct-tape was absorbing the heat from the day. He was sweating bad. The sweat was making his skin itch and he couldn't scratch it. And to top it all off, the little buggers had dyed his hair PINK! His hair! His beautiful hair! His pride and joy was ruined. All in all, Link was NOT a happy camper. And Saria wasn't making it any better by laughing at him and his misery. An irritated growl began deep in his throat.

Finally, Saria lay on the floor gasping for breath. She slowly pulled herself up and looked at Link. The sight of him brought giggles back to her, but the Kokiri pushed them away and sat down on Link's bed next to him. She reached up and ripped the tape off his mouth.

Link yelped and then shot poison-coated daggers at her with his eyes. "You could have done that a long time ago, you know." His voice was dangerously quiet and full of anger. But it was also raspy from lack of drink.

Saria struggled to hold back giggles before she put the tape back on his mouth. "You know, I kind of like you like that."

Then, ignoring Link's incoherent protests, Saria rolled him onto his back and began pulling the tape away with hands that shook from suppressed laughter.

*~*~*~*

to be continued . . .

*~*~*~*