Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda, I never have owned Zelda, and unless something drastic happens, I
probably never will own Zelda. But I can dream. ^_~

The Great Duct-tape War
by Skye Dragon


Skye's rambling spot: Okay, I'm going to apologize in advance for all the stuff with the horses. I was watching Black Beauty the other day and when I wrote this I just kinda got in that mood, ya know? Anyway, that's all I wanted to say.


*~*~*~*

The sound of her humming filled the barn, causing even the cuccos to pause in their endless clucking and search for seed among the grass. All the animals loved her humming. It soothed them, comforted them. It was something familiar, and it let them know that *she* was near.

Malon of course knew none of that. She simply enjoyed humming. She had noticed that some of the horses seemed to be calmed by it, but anything past that was beyond her knowledge.

So it was that Malon was humming as she brushed out the coat of the pregnant mare. The horse wouldn't give birth for a couple of months, but the soon-to-be mother was certainly feeling the weight.

The young ranch girl smiled. She couldn't wait for the colt to be born. It would surly be the fastest horse in all of Hyrule. She knew this, for she was the one who had paired the spunky mare with the fastest spud in Lon Lon Ranch.

As if on cue, the soon-to-be father came trotting up at just that moment. He certainly was a looker. Malon could see his fit muscles rippling under his slick black coat of fur which gleamed in the afternoon sun. His long legs carried him swiftly and there was not an once of fat on his slender body, a fact that only added to his speed. His long ears were erect as he approached his mate and the white patch of fur on his forehead shone brightly in the waning sunlight.

The slick young spud cantered up to the two females and cockily touched his nose to the mare's nose. The mare snorted and opened her mouth as if to bit him, and then stamped her hoof irritably.

The spud pulled his head away from her and his beautiful black eyes seemed to cloud over with confusion as if to say "What did I do?"

Malon laughed. Mares were always cranky their first time. She gently patted the mare's nose. The spud snorted and reached his head to her and Malon could imagine him saying, "What about me?"

Malon reached out and stroked his silky fur. The horse snorted lightly and the ranch girl could feel his warm breath on her hand. She giggled lightly. "Oh Quicksilver, you're gonna have such a wonderful colt . . ." Her voice trailed off dreamily.

Quicksilver snorted again and licked her hand before he turned and trotted off back into the pasture where the other horses were grazing and playing. Malon watched him go, her eyes following his path. The mare nuzzled her nose into Malon's side. The girl reached out and stroked the horse's nose all the while keeping her eyes on the black stud.

Suddenly the other horses in the pasture looked up. Malon blinked. What were they looking at? Then she saw it.

The mare felt Malon's hand suddenly freeze, and looked up at her master in concern. Malon was frozen, staring at some point in the distance. The mare could feel Malon's shock and surprise. But looking out in the distance all the mare could see was another horse. Granted it was a large horse and it bore a rider and was come directly to them, but it was still only a horse. But something about that horse was upsetting her master. It unnerved the mare.

"Epona . . ." Malon's voice was light and airy.

The mare neighed then, rearing up on her hind legs, causing her swollen belly to stick out. Her front hooves pawed at the air wildly. Something was wrong with her master!

The mare's wild neighing brought Malon out of her trance and she quickly began soothing the upset horse.

As soon as she got the mare settled down in a stall, Malon hurried out of the barn and peered once again into the distance. Yes, the silhouette of horse and rider was unmistakable now, and just as unmistakable was the fact that the horse could only be Epona. Malon could recognize that walk and stance anywhere. And where Epona was, Link was not far behind.

The red-headed girl cast a glance up at the darkening sky. It was getting late. Link would no doubt want to spend the night. And even if he didn't want to, Malon wasn't about to let him go all night long anyway. So it was with that thought in her mind that Malon hurried back into the house, passed word of her discovery on to her father, Talon, and then set about fixing up the guest room for Link to say in.

*~*~*~*

The last of the sun had just dipped below the horizon, so that there was only a smudge of bright red left in the sky, when Epona trotted into the ranch. Malon stared at her rider. It was a youth, no doubt about that, but the person wore a dark cloak that hid his or her face, and Malon was unable to tell the gender of the rider. That unnerved her. Who else besides Link could or would ride Epona? A chill ran down her back as she stepped out to meet the traveler.

The person saw her and easily dismounted, catching Epona's reigns in his or her left hand. He or She was facing Malon, but she still could not detect the gender of the person. There was a shadow on the visitor's face cast by the overhanging hood. All that Malon could see was the person's lips.

"Hello!" She called, trying (and failing) to hide her unease with warm acceptance.

A smile appeared on those lips. "Hey Malon!" The voice was familiar.

Hesitating, Malon finally called, "Link?"

"Yeah?"

The red headed girl visibly relaxed. "You scared me, I didn't know who you were." She confessed, coming off the porch and walking up to him. Epona neighed and reached her head out toward her former master. Malon smiled lightly and stroked the great beast's head.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Link was saying.

Malon looked back up at him, and was a bit disheartened to see that he still hadn't removed his hood. Abruptly she reached up her hand to do just that. Link caught her hand in his and pulled it away. "Don't." He breathed.

"Why? You don't look right with it on." Malon said, a bit of her previous fear creeper back up on her.

Link must have seen the unease in her eyes, for he shook his head and released her hand. "I just . . . I don't want to . . ." Despite his words, he did pull the dark green hood back some, just enough that she could see his bright blue eyes, but still hiding his hair. The starlight danced in the ocean of his eyes, but they weren't as bright or as beautiful as Malon remembered. There was some emotion there, something Malon didn't recognize.

Malon cocked an eyebrow but before she could say anything, Talon appeared in the doorway. "Hey! Whatcha you two standing out here for? Come on in!"

Link couldn't fight a smile at the sight of the large Lon Lon Ranch owner. But he shook his head. "I've got to put Epona . . ."

Link's sentence trailed off as he saw Talon shaking his head. "No, no, don't you worry 'bout that. Malon can take care of Epona." And he winked. "She's been doin' a good enough job before you came, I think she can manage for one night. Unless you're gonna stay longer than that?" Talon's eyes implored on Links, but before Link could answer the question, Talon continued on, "Come on in, Link, the night's cold and dinner will be too, if we dawdle out here much longer! Malon, you get Epona settled in and then you come on in too."

Malon grinned. "I will." She took Epona's reigns from Link and began leading the great horse to the pasture, all the while listening to Link's protests that he'd already eaten and didn't need a second dinner. Her father's booming voice drowned out Link's protests, and Malon didn't hear how the conversation ended.

She quickly led Epona into an empty stall and then took off the saddle and reigns and bit. Epona neighed, pushing her nose into Malon's hand. Malon smiled and stroked the great beast's head. "I'm glad to see you too, Epona." The horse snorted lightly. Malon's smile grew, and she began humming to soothe the large horse. She shoveled in more new hay and straw, then filled the water box and the feed box After all this was done, Malon found herself just standing and petting Epona, she hadn't realized that how much she did care for her horses and it was pleasing to her to see them again, especially Epona as the horse had always been one of her favorites. When finally she left the barn, the sky was lit up with a multitude of stars and a crescent moon.

Only now did Malon notice the biting cool of the night air and she hurried back inside the house. Upon entering, she took immediate notice of her father fast asleep and snoring away in a chair in the living room. With a smile and slight shake of her head, Malon left him in search of Link.

The door to the guest room was closed and as far as she could tell, there was no light on. Malon pressed her ear to the door but could find no trace of sound to indicate that there was anything living behind the door. She frowned. Link had come here and didn't want to see her? That was odd. An feeling of disappointment contracted around her heart. He hadn't even offered to play his ocarina for her tonight. That was very odd indeed. Usually when he visited her, the two of them would go outside at night and play with the horses, or dance with the fireflies, or just look up at the stars. (Skye's note: remember, Malon and Link are quite young in this story) Taken aback by this sudden change in attitude, Malon wondered back into the living room where Talon was.

"Father?" She asked. Talon didn't stir. Malon purposely strode to him and shook his shoulder. "Father!"

With a snort, Talon sat up. "Wha-?" He blinked. Then, looking at Malon he regained his composure. "What is it Malon? Is it time to go to the castle already? I must be late!"

"No, no father. It's nighttime now. You won't go to the castle for three more days now." When Talon blinked, Malon hurried on. "I was just wondering where Link got to."

"Huh? Oh, Link." And Talon blinked slowly this time as slumber beckoned to him still. "He said he wasn't hungry and was tired from riding all day. Went on up to his room." At this Talon was interrupted by a yawn. "Very peculiar. Wouldn't take off his cape. Very odd . . ."

Malon waited for him to go on, but the next sound to come from her father was a snore. Malon sighed and then turned off the light before retiring to her own bed. What was up with Link? Why was he acting so strange? First refusing to take off his hood and cape, then failing to meet up with her. Needless to say, Malon was concerned. Was he alright? Was he sick? Did he need help?

Sleep later found Malon with these thoughts still chasing each other in her mind.

*~*~*~*

Everything was dark. The darkness was all consuming. Nothing escaped from it. There was no light, no smells, and no sounds.

Wait, there was a sound.

It started very soft at first, but it quickly grew. "Malon. Malon." It whispered. Malon struggled to ignore it, but the voice would not be ignored. It grew louder and louder, until it filled her ears to the point she felt sure her ears were bleeding.



"MALON! MALON!"

She woke with a start. Link stood next to her bed, a puzzled look on his young boyish face. "Malon, are you okay?"

Malon blinked looking up at him. ". . . yeah, Yeah I'm fine." Then she blinked. Link still wore his cloak, the dark hood hiding his hair, but Malon could have sworn she saw a hint of pink underneath there. Shaking it off as an after-effect of the dream, she sat up. "What, . . . What are you doing up?"

Link blinked and then all his concern was replaced by what appeared to be embarrassment. A slight blush lit up his cheeks. "I was . . . um . . .well . . . that is . . . I . . ."

Malon cocked one eyebrow. What was up with him today-er, tonight? Or was it day? Confused for a moment, Malon glanced out her window at the sky. It was still dark, but she could tell that dawn wasn't too very far off. She turned back to the blond Hyrulian who'd finally figured out what he wanted to say.

"I wanted to . . . ask . . .you something, Malon." Link forced the words out of his mouth.

Malon stared at him in obvious misunderstanding. "Why in the godesses's names would you want to talk in the middle of the night!?"

Link's cheeks reddened slightly again. "I . . . don't want anyone else to hear."

Malon was again at a loss of words. This was very odd indeed. But then, maybe here was the answer to her earlier question of why Link had gone to bed without talking to her. Finally she nodded. "Okay then. Let's talk."

"Not here." Link shook his head.

"Then where?"

"In the yard, next to the barn. Meet me there." Link said, and then, before Malon could get out another sound, he was gone.

*~*~*~*

The first thing Malon noticed when she stepped out into the night, was how cold it was. It was still early on in spring, and the new sun's warmth wasn't lasting into the dark of night. Shivering, Malon crept bare-foot over the ground, moist with dew. Making her way to the barn, she almost didn't see the dark outline of a person, pacing back and forth before the barn.

"Link?"

The figure stopped and looked up. "Yea?"

Malon exhaled and then asked. "Okay, I'm here. Now what did you want to ask me?"

"It's kinda complicated . . ." Link started. He kneeled down then, and lifted the shade off of the oil lamb he'd brought with him. There was a surprising amount of light from a flame so small. However, in someplaces, the light served only to darken the shadows, Malon noticed, such as on Link's hood and face.

She shuddered with the thought. Link frowned in concern. "Malon? You should have brought something warm with you."

"I'll be okay." She said and then strained to keep from adding 'will you?'

Link cocked his head, looking at her for a moment more before finally he began. "Malon, I know I've been acting really weird lately, and I have a reason for that. I . . . I need your help."

"My help? Link, are you hurt?" Malon's voice took on a worried tone.

"No, I'm not hurt." He hastened to assure her, "But um . . ."

"What?"

"I don't know how to ask. It'll sound stupid." Link turned his face away from her.

"If you're worried about it, then I'm sure it's not stupid. Now just come right out and say it."

Link hesitated again before finally he burst out with, "How do you get faerie dye out of hair?"

Malon blinked. That was NOT what she'd been expecting. " . . . what???"

Link numbly let his cloak fall to the floor revealing his day-glo pink hair in all of it's horrid glory.

Malon stared at him and the hideous mop of hair on his head for several shocked seconds. Then, suddenly she was on the floor gasping for breath around vicious laughter.

It took Link a few seconds to take it all in. Malon's reaction was NOT what he'd been wanting. When it finally clicked in his brain, anger rose up inside of him.

"Malon! You're not suppose to laugh! It's not funny! I'm serious! Malon! MALON!"

The poor ranch girl didn't hear him over the sound of her own laughter in her ears. Certainly she didn't see when his face turned beet red, which caused his new hair color to look even worse.

Finally, Link could take no more. "What kind a friend laughs at another's troubles?" He demanded into the air, the laughing girl could not answer him. His anger peaked and Link scowled deeply at the girl rolling in the dirt. With teeth and fists clenched, he stalked to Epona's saddle bag and pulled out one of the most fearsome weapons known to man. With weapon in hand, he stalked back into the barn, and, had anyone been outside, they would have clearly heard him say, "Now who's laughing?"

And Malon's laughter was heard no more.


*~*~*~*

When Talon woke the next morning (late of course) Neighter Malon nor Link were anywhere to be found. . .

*~*~*~

Skye's end note: YES! IT'S A CLIFF-HANGER! Don't you just hate me now? Hee hee. Well, guess you'll just have to read the next chapter to see what happened. ^_^

P.S. Reviews are better than sugar! (hint hint ^_~)