Hello, this is my 2nd fic, Hooray! This story has no plot what so ever, cos I can't be bothered to think up one. Just lots of ridiculous ideas pouring out of head. Well here goes! Please r+r! roze x

The confessions of Lisa Turpin

~ 14th February ~ 10 o'clock~ am ~

"Lisa, you are so beautiful. I would just like to ask you-" He stopped and looked at the red carpet we were standing on.

"What?" I asked, lifting his gorgeous head up to me.

"Just, um, will you m-" Terry was cut off by a huge rumbling noise. An earthquake! The posh restaurant was falling to bits before my eyes. A waiter was running towards me, with a plate full of spaghetti Bolognese. He held it out in front of my face, then, SPLAT! It hit me straight in the face.

"LISA! Wake up you stupid great prat! It's Valentines day!" someone screamed.

I woke up with a start. Padma had slapped me round the face, and Mandy was shaking me.

"Me? A stupid great prat? You two are the stupid great prats! Terry was about to propose, you tarts!" I screamed. They stared at me. Vicki, the Durmstrang exchange student was already reaching for her translation book.

"Terry has his eyes on Cho, not you." Padma said sympathetically.

"Prick." I muttered.

"Look! You've got some chocolate and a red rose!" squealed Mandy.

"Vell, ve all know who dat came flom!" laughed Vicky.

"Hooray Henri, no doubt." I answered, rather annoyed.

"Vell, I 'av not got even one! Dat does not include de one flom Viktor." She smiled slyly " I'll 'av your docolates if you do not vant any!"

"As much as I love you for being a fantastic friend - no. I am a dedicated chocoholic." I answered.

"Vat does cho-co-lo-kik mean?"

"Someone who is completely addicted to chocolate." I took out my wand and changed into a white adidas hoodie and torn jeans. "Come on, I want to know who got what from who."

"Dat is vine wiv me! Vat about you two?" Mandy and Padma nodded and we made our way to the Great Hall.

We walked into the white and blue Ravenclaw Common room. Sam Nott ran up to us.

"Guess what? Terry's been given a Valentines card from Cho!" he said, brushing some golden blonde hair from his eyes.

"Hooray." I answered sarcastically. He noticed my sarcasm and looked at me strangely. "What?" I asked irritably.

"Nothing." Mandy suddenly gave us the buzz signal. Oh no.

The buzz is where we start humming the BN advert (like in the Office - if you're in the UK you'll hopefully understand) Padma started. Vicki joined in. My turn. Lastly, Mandy joined us. I would've loved to see the faces of the people coming into the room if I wasn't in such a foul mood. I really wanted to stop - because Terry was coming into the room. With Hooray Henri. My life is over - if it isn't over already.

The first person to stop the buzz has to hug the first boy she meets. That would be Sam. Oh, what the hell. I stopped and hugged Sam. He stared at me like I was some crazed lunatic.

"Sorry. Rules are rules. Come on girls, I want to leave the clouds." And with that, we left. The Common room was nicknamed the clouds, because it is white and blue. Like the sky.

We entered the Great Hall to find ridiculous red hearts and roses floating around our heads.

"They're safety hazards." I said as I walked straight into a heart. "Bugger off!" But it just carried on flitting round my head.

~ Breakfast ~

Retarded heart still flying round my head.

~ Half-way through Breakfast ~

Demented heart still circling around my head.

My parent's owl - Hallu - delivered the usual.

Dear Lisa,

Hope you're enjoying yourself. Ali baba (our black cat) has another dent in his tail. Due to your father's lack of judgement as to where he should sit. (Stupid thing. My dad that is - not the cat) That is a total of 16 awkward angles. Hallucination has only 3 feathers left on him because he's had another fit. Happy Valentine's day, darling. We miss you ever so much. Are you coming back for Easter?

Love, Mum. X x

I glanced at Hallu. Well he's got 2 ½ feathers as far I can see. I threw him a reply, and he um, fell off the table. Great.

Crazy heart is still whizzing round my head.

~ Nearly End of Breakfast ~

Completely-demented-heart-that-is-driving-me-barmy, is still whooshing round my head.

Why is my life so depressing?

~ End of Breakfast ~

Hallu's choking on a rose leaf he's found on the floor. Twit.

Nutty heart is still dancing around my head.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !





Hope you like this chapter. I've never done a comedy before. It's kind of weird. Never mind. PLEAAAAAAASSSSSSSEEEEEE r+r *author on her knees begging* roze x