Hello! I'm back! Wahoo! Sorry about that mental streak, it boosts my imagination. Thank you to faithful reviewer, and friend, Lydia!

Flipping hell, do I need to put the same goddamn disclaimer again? *Computer nods * Damn. Wait a second. Did the computer just nod? *Silence * Oh well. Here's the disclaimer:

Disclaimer: This fic has been created solely for entertainment purposes. I, roze, take full credit for all improvements in your life commencing as of your reading of this fic and continuing for a reasonable period of time thereafter or until hell freezes over, whichever is longer. I, roze, accept no blame for any trouble you might get into because of same, including but not limited to: grounding, detention, expulsion from school, disfiguring hunting accidents, and the death penalty. You have now been duly warned. Enjoy!

Please r+r, roze x

The Confessions of Lisa Turpin

~ In complete and utter shock ~

This is way, way, way too good to be true. It can't be, it just can't.

Malfoy for heaven's sake. Malfoy! Of the people that can be sitting in front of me, Malfoy! One of the best-looking boys I know, Malfoy! Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god!

Malfoy gave me a very crooked smile, one that only 4 people in this school I know, can do:

1.Ron Weasley (Wheeze)

2. Neville Longbottom (Longass)

3.Henry Wells (Hooray Henry-HH)

4. Harry Potter (Gone Potty)

Eurgh. I don't fancy going out with any of them. Especially HH and Longass. Wheeze is way too poor to ever go out with. Gone Potty is just way too Famous and Goody Goody for me.

I also know that for a fact, that Malfoy cannot do that smile.

"You're not Malfoy." I told 'him'.

"C course I am." 'He' stammered.

Only HH or Longass would get in a stress like this, and stammer. Hmmm.

"You're not." I insisted.

"Y yes, I I am." Tears were welling up in his eyes. Welling. Welling. Wells! It can't be Longass, because he would've started crying ages ago.

"You're not, HENRY!" I yelled his name at him.

He wobbled and gave me a fantastic idea.

"Wait there, I need to go to the library. I'll be right back."

~ In the library ~

Where is that book? 'Fantastic Photography' by Professor Faloke?

Malfoy. He's got it. Ugh.

I walked towards him quickly and grabbed the book.

"Give it back. Now!"

I ignored him, and ran back to the rose garden. I flipped to page 55, under 'snappy photos'.

Quick and easy to use. Just flick your wand and say: "Petri!"

I turned to 'Malfoy'. Any minute now, and Malfoy will gradually get acne.

There it is!

"Petri!" I screamed.

HH looked at me, stunned. I shrugged, and flipped to the back of the book.

To retrieve taken photos, using your wand, follow the following directions:

Rotate your wand hand (holding the wand) in a circular motion, anti- clockwise. Repeat this after 5 turns: "Mayer!"

I drew 5 circles with my wand.

"Mayer!"

Slowly a photo of Draco Malfoy with acne appeared. Ha ha. Lisa, you are one clever girl.

I laughed at the photo.

"I don't see any reason as to why you are laughing out here, when you should be at detention." SM remarked behind me. "A library book out in the school grounds too. Disgraceful. 50 points from Ravenclaw."

He made up that rule! Stupid Slime ball. Why doesn't he get a life?

"Dungeons. Now. You owe me 4 now. If you leave now, that will be 5! Quick! Up!"

For heaven's sake, calm down! Hasn't he ever heard of breathing?

I quickly hid the photo of Malfoy in one of my pockets, and ran off to the dungeons.

Stupid old fart, that is so not fair!

That is the end of this chapter, so please, PLEASE r+r. Review. REVIEW! roze x