I had only been back in Pittsburgh for a few hours when I found myself walking down Liberty Ave.  It was Friday night and the street was over flowing with half naked men.  It always surprised me how many gay men were in Pittsburgh, it was as if someone had them shipped in.  They were all beautiful, perfectly cut men, eyeing me as the twink that could make their night.

          That wasn't what I was looking for.  I was looking for the imperfect one.  The real guy, the one who didn't fit in with this mass of flawlessness.  The one who stuck out because he was beautiful on the inside.  The one that took care of me when everyone else in the world threw me away. 

          I wandered into the Liberty Diner, a place I knew he hung out with his friends.  What would be his reaction to seeing me?  Would he be thrilled to hear that I've spent the last six months clean, or would he reject me the way that I rejected him?

          My eyes went immediately to the table where he always sat with his friends.  Sure enough, there he sat with Emmett's arm draped around him.  Emmett was his best friend and he hated me.  He cared so much for Teddy…

          It almost seemed that the place when silent with my entrance.  His whole table was staring right at me.  I tepidly approached them, taking a deep breath.

          "Hi Teddy."  I watched him move uncomfortably and Emmett slowly remove his arm from around his shoulders.

          "Blake."  He said.  "It's been a long time."  His gazed shifted to the table.

          "Yeah, I know."  I smiled.  "You look good."

          "Of course he does."  Emmett said. "That's why I'm – "

          "So do you."  Ted interrupted.  "Are you…?"

          "Clean? Yeah.  Six months now."

          He nodded, "Good.  That's… good. I'm glad."

          "Yeah, it is always nice to see the twinkies clean themselves up."  Brian Kinney stated from across the table.

          "Brian, shut up."  Michael said.

          "Look, Ted, could we talk?"  I pointed to another booth that was empty.

          "Listen Sweetie, Teddy's moved on from you, ok?"  Emmett pulled himself closer to Ted.

          "Oh are you two… a couple?"  Ted nodded silently.

          I was able to plaster a fake smile on my face.  "Oh great.  Well, yeah, I just wanted to… I just wanted to say hi."  I backed away from the table and bolted out of the diner.

          "BLAKE! Wait!" Did I imagine it?  Was he really following after me?

          I stopped, but didn't turn around.

          "I'm glad you are doing better."

          "I did it for you.  To win you back."  I whispered, as the tears escaped my eyes. 

          He turned me around.  "I know how hard it was for you."

          "No, you don't.  You have no idea. How many times I tried… and I thought… I thought you would be waiting for me.  How stupid was I to think you would be waiting for me?"
          "Blake, you left.  I wanted to help you so badly, but you never let me."

          "I know… I'm sorry… I just couldn't…"  I collapsed into his arms, the ones that I've been longing to be in for the last year.  The only place in the world where I felt safe.  "I loved you and I couldn't let you down again."

          "I know Blake, I know."  He held me tight. 

          I could tell by the way his embrace was getting tighter, that he still did care about me.  I didn't want to let him go.

          "Well, aren't we cozy." 

          Within a second, the cold air hit and Ted was standing away from me.

          "Emmett.  We were just…"  Emmett shook his head and walked away dramatically.  "Emmett! Wait!"  Ted turned toward me, "Blake, I have to go."  He began running down the street towards Emmett screaming his name.

          I stood there still, watching them fight, watching their bodies repel and then find each other in forgiveness.  Each passing moment I felt the itch, the feeling that never left me, but I ignored for six months.  The feeling that I lived with for him.  Now, he doesn't want me.

I walked away from them, walking towards Babylon where I knew I could find a way to ease the each and heal my broken heart.