Done Waiting - chapter 4

Yet again I'm stuck at the top of the steps watching the events on my front lawn. Why can't I move? I'd blame Willow but she's not here. And magic's a no-no for her. I hope. If I never see Willow turn a spell again I'll be happy. I don't know what's worse - the psycho-like glee on her face or the freaky eyes. Cos last time we both ended up with black eyes and I'm not sure they've healed yet. For either of us. Oooh Buffy, Giles would be proud! You're having deep thoughts. Hey, anything's better than thinking about what's in front of me. Cos I still haven't moved and neither have they. Okay, so no magic, just too many things to deal with.

"An.. Anya... what are you doing here? Where have you been? I.. I.. called. Yesterday. And the day before.. How are you?" Xander's babbling. I think he hasn't noticed that Anya's in demon face or that she's got a bruising grip on his wrist. Then I realise I'm so wrong on both counts. Cos his stake-free hand has started to hover over Anya's hand like he wants to touch her. And he keeps looking away as if he can't bear to see her being non-human. And I thought I had issues! Funny thing is he's still got a firm hold on the stake and I know if Anya lets go of then Spike doesn't stand a hope in Hell. Not that he ever did but you know what I mean, right?

And why am I still not moving!!??! Dammit, Summers, get a grip.

There's a weird feeling in my stomach and a thought nagging in the back of my head; stay away from what's mine. Ah crap. I'm jealous of Anya cos she gets to save Spike when I can't. That is so wrong. In so many ways. Spike is BAD. Anya is.. whatever Anya is. She's welcome to him. They belong together. I mean it.

"Umm, pet? Thanks for the save an' all but any chance of letting me down?"

It's like being shot. I know this cos I've been.. well, shot before. The shock of his voice, quiet as it is, goes straight up my spine. Now I'm moving. Okay, falling. And the next thing I know I'm sprawled at the bottom of the steps, feeling three pairs of amazed eyes looking at me. Me? Embarrassed? No way. Just gonna lie here and wait for the ground to swallow me.

"Xander, stop being stupid and help Buffy. She seems to have lost the use of her legs." I look up at the sound of Anya's voice and see she's gone back to human face. And that she's let go of Xander's wrist. He's just standing there, looking baffled. Jeez, you'da thought the least he could do is give me a hand up. Cos I've saved his life God knows how many times. But no, he keeps looking from Anya to Spike to me. And his stake holding hand is just kinda.. Hovering in space. Let's hope Spike goes back to no- talky mode cos his voice is the only trigger Xander needs right now. Than Anya would.. what would Anya do? And why does she care anyway? Okay, this I need to know. So time to get up. Lose the red face and find out WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!!!!!!!

"Xander, are you deaf? Go and help Buffy. After all, it's always about Buffy. So go help. Be useful. You are not being useful here."

So finally, my 'friend' stops trying to kill my..no, not my anything.Spike. Or get his ex-demon lover - or is that ex-lover demon? - to notice him, drops the damn stake and comes over. Too late. Cos I'm up. And oh yeh, am I ready! And able. It's all good. Trust me.

"Buff, you okay? You really took a -"

"I'm fine. Everything's fine. Got a psycho best friend, a vengeance demon and a..a..an incapacitated vampire on my front lawn, fighting it out for all the world to see. But I'm just peachy." Xander's mouth is hanging open. Like no-one ever cut him off in mid-sentence before. God, show me someone who hasn't. I've got the urge to hit him. It's a pretty familiar feeling tonight. And it's not like I've got to worry about Spike anymore. Cos he's got big demon Anya looking out for him. Bitch. Okay, I really need to get a hold on that. Cos I don't care. Really. She can have him, right here, right now. In the chains or out of them. It's fine As long as I don't have to watch. Again.

"Now that you are up, Buffy, you should get Spike down. He looks very silly hanging there. What were you thinking? Vampires do not make good lawn ornaments. Most people choose gnomes; I always thought it was impractical as they do terrible damage when they start digging earthworks. But that's humans for you. What can you expect from a race that thinks bunnies are cute and cuddly? Why are you staring at me?"

And yet again I'm stunned by the force that is Anya. That woman.. demon.. whatever!. is a whirlwind on legs. But, dammit, she's right. I don't want Spike as a permanent fixture of my garden. Okay, so he already was. Only he could move, he could leave. He did leave. And I really don't want to think about that now. Or about him coming back. Just want him down. Cos right now he looks like a pervert's Christmas fairy. I guess it's the chains. Does he still like chains?

For a moment there I was somewhere else. Somewhere.. better? I called it sick, degrading, but. it was warm too. Funny how this summer's been so cold. And how the temperature always rises 'round Spike. Even though he's cool to the touch. Now I don't know if I'm moving towards him cos of Anya or because.. because of him. And I hate it.

"Buff. Buffy, are you -" Xander's caught hold of my arm but stops talking when I look at him. I wonder what he sees? Cos his hand falls away. His head drops. His shoulders sag. He's just lost and I don't even know what the fight was.

"C'mon, Xander, time to unwrap your present. Don't think Anya's gonna let you play with it though." His head comes back up, and for a moment, I think he might laugh. But it's gone and he takes my hand as we walk to the tree.

"Whatever you want, Buff. Whatever you want." And I know he won't be going after Spike again.

Anya watches as we approach. Watches as Xander releases the chain from the tree. Watches as I catch Spike's weight before he crumples to the ground. Watches as we take the chains off Spike's body then back away.

"Are you broken, Spike? If you are I can punish Xander. Would you like me to make him run through Sunnydale naked singing 'I Like the Flowers'? Ooh! And I could have clowns chasing him. I would find it very enjoyable and it is allowed if you wish it as vengeance for your current situation and his obsession with the woman you love. Or I could eviscerate him. But that would be too quick. It would also lack the humiliation factor that would make vengeance so satisfying."

Spike's standing in front of me, easing out the muscles in his arms and back. The corner of his mouth twitches like he's gonna smile and I don't know if it's cos of Anya's words or me. Cos he's caught me looking. As he stretched I saw a flash of alabaster skin and I couldn't help staring. It's so not fair that I can remember what it feels like to touch him, to be pressed against that cool flesh. I looked away and saw that hint of a smirk on his face. But as his t-shirt rides a little higher and my mouth starts to go dry - and, god, is it me or is it getting hot out here? - my eyes are drawn back. And that's new. Where did the scars come from. And am I gonna get any answers any time soon? Okay, I guess asking the questions would help.

"Anya, there will be no vengeance. Got it? The only thing anyone is getting here is answers."

"Does Buffy deserve answers, Spike? I'm still very keen on seeing Xander naked. Not in a sex way, of course. Buffy cannot stop me doing my job if you choose to make a wish" Anya's gone back to ignoring Xander who's stood next to me. He tried to get her attention after we unchained Spike but he's given up. The tree's moving more than he is now. We're all of us looking at Spike who - thank god - is tucking his t-shirt into his jeans.

"The Slayer gets whatever she wants, pet." And that's all he says. When did he learn to keep his mouth shut? I almost miss the insults, the banter.. the endearments. Cos it's a while since I was just 'the Slayer' to Spike. It feels wrong. I don't know what I thought would happen when we finally.talked or.whatever it was we were supposed to be waiting for. But it sure as Hell wasn't this. Cos, first off, I never figured on an audience. And I never thought he'd go silent on me. He was gonna beg or grovel or get angry. Anything but the silent treatment. But he's given the go ahead so I turn to Anya expecting my answers.

"Why are you protecting Spike? Why is this any of your business?"

"He went to see Rocky." Not the answer I was expecting.

"Spike went to the movies?" I think I'm missing something here. One look at Anya proves it. She huffs and gives me her patented 'humans are stupid' glare.

"Rocky the demon. Vengeance demon, actually. D'Hoffren recruited him in the 20's. He's a friend of mine."

Xander has this jealous glint in his eyes now. I swear they turn green. Like Spike's flashing gold when I piss him off. Well, how they used to anyway. I can see Xander's ready to open mouth and insert foot, so I figure I'd beat him to it.

"There are male vengeance demons? I thought you were all, well, female. Like a harem or something." Yep, that should do it. And it does.

"Harem!!!" Anya's gone back into demon face, all veiny, and have I mentioned how much she reminds me of a map? Like those ones in school, with the mountains and stuff all kinda 3-D? When I'm not freaked I get this urge to see if I can find Denver. But she's still talking, okay, screeching.

"Being a vengeance demon is very respectable. I'm not a.. a slave.. or sex monkey. Oh no, I had orgasm friends, of course, but D'Hoffren?!? He's like my father! Do you get all hot and sweaty with Giles? You people are all the same, demon equals lust-bunny. And the bunny alone is down right offensive. Well, I'll have you know, Miss I-Jump-The-Bones-Of-The-Undead, I had and have far more discrimination as a demon than as a human. When I was human I gave myself to Xander - often and with great energy. No self- respecting demon would do that."

Okay, should've let Xander take that one. He's looking like he's been slapped. Repeatedly. And I'm kinda reeling too. Sex with Giles? Eeewww!!! If I didn't know about mom, and maybe Ms Calender - oh, and Olivia - then I'd have to say that Giles equals padlocked fly. He just doesn't do that. With anybody. And me? Too gross. Oh God, mental image. Giles getting naked. Quick, brain, change channels. Better but still bad. Now I've got Spike in glorious Technicolor. I really am Miss Jump- The-Bones. Crap.

"Oh that's right, Buffy, insult me and then zone out. I will not be ignored. I have a legitimate grievance and I think you should apologise to me." Anya's standing there, hands on hips, and behind the anger (and the veins) she looks hurt. I guess being a demon again hasn't stopped her being vulnerable. And now I feel bad. Maybe I should change my job title to Ego Slayer or Self-Worth Slayer. Cos I did a great job on Spike. And now this.

"I'm sorry, Anya. Really. I didn't mean harem. Maybe convent.. or.. or.. sorority! Yeh, cos, you know, I though it was a sisterhood kinda thing."

I've now got all three of them looking at me like I'm a moron. So it's not my best ever save. Words aren't my thing. Give me a co-ed running from a vamp and I'm all there with the savage. But, Jeez, guys! Who ever comes to me for the tact stuff? That got left to Giles. Or Willow. And later, Tara. As none of those guys can be here this evening to join the party you'll just have to make do. I'm doing my best, okay?

"Anya, luv, she didn't mean any harm. She's just being Buffy. Lets get this show on the road, cos I don't fancy being out here when the sun comes up and I don't think I'm welcome in the Summers(') home. Cut her a break, pet. For me." Oh great, now Spike's the great protector of all things Buffy! That just sucks. I so do not want to feel guilty or like I owe him. Even if I already did. Isn't he supposed to be the bad guy here?

"Buffy, I forgive you. You cannot help being ignorant and uneducated. I know that Giles tried but research and understanding the rules of the demon world are not your forte. I will forget that you were so horribly rude to me. I will not need to bring it up again."

Like I believe that! And how come I apologise and then I get insulted?

I'm ready to take my 'sorry' right back and give her a piece of my mind, even though she doesn't think I've got any to spare. But as I look up and start to open my mouth Spike gives a little shake of his head. And it bugs me that he knows what I was gonna do. Bugs me even more that he's right. This could go on forever and Anya's about to tell me a bedtime story.

"You were telling her about Rocky. D'you wanna continue, luv, cos I'm not really up to telling the tale right now. Feeling a bit tired, to tell the truth. And you know all the ins and out that I didn't pick up on. So it's best if you play narrator. That okay by you?"

I'm trying to get over Spike being all diplomacy guy. And fight down the wave of envy at him calling Anya 'luv'. Especially when I've gone back to being 'Slayer'. I did say that sucks, right? But I need to listen to Anya and her tale of the action demon. Rocky. What a dumb name for a demon.

"Alright, Spike, your wish is my command. That's my favourite vengeance demon joke. Oh, but of course, you people can't laugh at demon jokes, can you?" Spike coughs. "Sorry. I'll tell them. As I said, Rocky is another vengeance demon. He lives in Africa. He used to live here but he likes his peace and quite, hates being stared at, so he moved. I'm not really sure how Spike found him but that doesn't matter. Spike went to him for vengeance."

"So it's not enough to attack me in my own home? You had to go get a wish too? What, was I supposed to become a vamp? Or were you gonna get the chip out and come back to kill all my friends? Or has it already happened? Is that it? You're back to watch your wish come true? Oh God, I've got it. That's why I'm feeling all protecty and big on the Spike missage, isn't it? You wished that I'd fall in love with you!" Okay, and we're back to people looking at me strangely.

Spike looks completely dumbstruck. Xander's searching the ground for something and I think it's his dropped stake. And Anya. Well, she's just giving me the 'dumb human' look again.

"I realise that arrogance is a vital part of the Slayer's make up, but I am constantly amazed at how much you seem to believe the world revolves around you, Buffy. Spike did not ask for vengeance on you. He's a rather unusual case. He asked for vengeance on himself."