AN: Sorry this took me so long but I've been busy doing nothing LOL, honestly. One of the days I have a good amount of HW to do and I'm posting. For the first time in awhile I agree with my reviewers, where does this chapter fit in. Well, someone asked about the pills again lmao and i decided I'd write a chap about what happens without them. This chapter is also deals with J and C nightmares. Other wise its a filler until I can get to bigger and better stuff, that's what you get when your first few chapters are basically the last part of the story. LOL learn from my mistakes! I think after some romance and EVENTUALLY sailing lol, we'll start getting into the virus piece by piece. EVENTUALLY remains the key word, so just give me some time :) thanks again lol
Rave :p
(=/\=)
She was jolted out of her peaceful sleep by a queasy feeling in her stomach.
"Not again…" she breathed. The afternoon sun harassed her eyelids. Not wanting to leave the security of sleep she cursed silently at the sun. As hard as she tried she couldn't ignore it. Her body was ready to wake, even if her mind wasn't willing to follow in suit. Opening her eyes slowly, being careful of the light, she woke herself entirely. When she had gained her bearings, Kathryn found herself looking straight into Chakotay's face. She would have enjoyed to continue but her stomach wouldn't leave her alone and she felt like her head was a ceremonial drum. Moaning she rolled over. She had forgotten her pills. Before she could attempt to rise, the effects of the absence of the medicine in her bloodstream, were rearing their ugly heads. She felt disconnected from her body, which for those who haven't experienced the sensation is bad when you're in motion, really not pretty. Fortunately it didn't take long for Kathryn to take back control of her body, but unfortunately it wasn't before she hit the floor. Most times the sound 'thump' isn't your friend.
"Ouch." She muttered as she pulled herself into a sitting position.
"If I hurt anything its not like I would know." She said to herself. All the sudden she felt short of breath. She shook her head. It couldn't happen to her here, and especially not now. She gritted her teeth with the little energy she had left and blinked her eyes a few times. With all the might she could muster she latched her hand on to the bedpost and pulled herself up, slowly or as she liked to put it "Damn Carefully" At first she took regular steps, but they weren't making the cut, so she took smaller and more reliable steps. As she looked ahead she noticed how far away the dresser looked. Frowning, she chided herself for thinking about it too much and pushed on the walls for support. In the middle of the room she collapsed from the painful pressure on every joint. She felt like her body was breaking down inside out, she also noticed that her body was using three times the amount of energy to do normal things. The feeling was familiar but she wasn't use to it. No one, not even the strongest Klingon could get use to that pain. She let out a quiet moan and rolled on to her back. Staring thoughtfully at the ceiling she pondered if it was going to be the object of her attentions for a while. She decided against it when she began to see black spots. She cursed again, this time mentally seeing as how it took too much energy to do it the old fashioned way. She had to get up; she had to get to the bottle before she passed out. She didn't want to have to explain why she was lying on the middle of the floor in the bedroom passed out. Trying to gain a hold of her surroundings she took deep breaths. She rolled on to her stomach. Carefully but with determination she pulled herself across the floor.
"Maybe Starfleet training really does become useful in everyday life." Smiling somberly she continued to crawl across the floor. Her elbows felt sore from crawling but she could deal, that was if she ever made it to the dresser. The black spots had grown so she relied on the cool hard feeling of the wood to tell her she reached her destination. Taking a deep breath she let her upper body literally climb the dresser. On her knees she reached around for the bottle. Finally she felt it in her hand. She brought it in front of her as quickly as her body would let her. All while fearing she would be too lightheaded soon to finish the job. The removed the white cap of the small, blue tainted container. Pulling out the small white pill, she placed the pill on the back of her tongue and swallowed. She shook her head sadly. She was so use to the pills that she didn't even bother with water anymore. Then again it worked in her favor seeing as how it would take her an hour to reach the sink. Almost immediately all of the side effects had disappeared. Sighing she got off of her knees and stood up. She trembled; she really needed to occupy herself with something. Running her hand threw her un-brushed hair she made her way to the bathroom. If she was going to do anything she had to at least look halfway decent.
(=/\=)
It was hard to take her shower like nothing had happened. Especially when she had all that time to think. On a starship taking a shower wasn't just something you had to do, it was routine. Done in the quickest possible way, while you thought about everything else you had to do. After a few months let alone years, you managed to take one using some unnoticed part of the brain. Which left you with nothing to do, mentally at least. So, while the scolding hot water beat on her chest all she could do was lean against the shower wall and calm herself down. Then again why should she be calm? She almost had a breakdown. It wasn't the easiest thing to emotionally work your way through. There were all those ties, making you think about things that have nothing to do with the subject but also everything. The number one thing weighing on her mind was whether or not she should tell anyone. Maybe she could tell Chakotay, if everything continued to go well. By the end of the day she'd have a decision. She wouldn't tell him then, but regardless, it would give her time to plan what her next action would be. Sighing, she turned off the shower. She stretched her arm out of the shower, her hand groping for a towel. When she found it she brought it to her face to dry the water around her eyes so she could see. She wrapped the towel around her body and squeezed the water out of her hair. She smiled with satisfaction noticing the longer length of her hair. Luckily her hair had a tendency to grow fast. Then again it had been a year since Voyager had returned to earth, and even then she was growing it. That was when her hair was blah. Not short enough to be short, not long enough to be long. She grinned again, only this time it was brighter. As dumb as it sounded, this was the kind of thing she wanted to think about, like normal people. She wasn't normal people, but everyone wants to be like normal people… even if they don't exist. Unconsciously she pushed the wet auburn tresses behind her ears and stepped out of the shower. Quietly she made her way out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom. Amusingly enough, Chakotay hadn't woken up. Well, at least now she knew something intimate about him, he's a heavy sleeper. She pulled out a black top with some khaki bottoms. Satisfied with her choice she began to dress. It didn't take her long to finish. So she moved on to the next utmost important thing… hair. She wanted to try something different today. She had worn it out up and around the same ways a billion times. She needed some variety. She thought back to a hairstyle she use to use at the academy. Barely regulation… trying to remember how to do it, she tentatively twisted her hair into a 'doughnut'. Right after she secured it she pulled some of the hair out through the middle. She then secured it again and placed the brush down on the dresser bureau. The only thing left was coffee… Before she could properly finish that thought she was interrupted.
"Kathryn?" A bewildered weak voice called. Kathryn's head whipped around to Chakotay.
"Kathryn?" he called out again, this time seeming more frantic. She felt unable to answer him, her voice caught in her throat. She watched as his eyes opened and his face displayed emotions of all kinds.
"Don't you die on me Kathryn… Start breathing… Breathe dammit breathe… Don't do this to me. Come on Kathryn breath… Don't you die on me! Come on breathe…" She had heard this voice before, it was disbelief and horror, all mixed up with ignorant sorrow. Did she ever remember this voice. This nightmare was one she could not forget. She watched it; she lived the horror with him. She prepared herself for the change of his voice. At first the voice was him telling her she had to live… then the voice changed to him begging her to live for the ship…
"Kathryn listen to me you have to breathe. Start breathing." When he said it, it was more like an order; a command… the tone of voice told her it was for the ship… they needed her. She wanted to obey, she wanted to breathe but it was just a dream… but oh, it had been reality. Then again it did nothing for her now but scare her even more.
"Come on… COME ON." He screamed.
"No…" Was soft, as if he had run out of things to convince him that everything would be all right. Then again he had.
"KATHRYN." He roared, he had pulled together all of his hope, confidence, and fear into a calling of a name. Powerfully haunting.
"You can't die." The last plead wasn't for her life, or for her ship, it was for him. It was him begging her not to leave him. It was him asking her to stay. She felt like a coward. She could only stand there, watching the sweat form on his forehead and mingle with the glistening tears. Every drop that fell down his cheek was painful and paralyzing. She was not without sympathy. She felt his pain, if not more. Every painful tear he let roll down her cheek was easily matched with a dozen more. She had spend many a dark night on that planet, dreaming the same dream. She knew the pain. She wished she could reach out and stop it but she stood there, as still as a statue. She wasn't ready to sort through those problems now. She instead leaned up against the wall for the hundredth time that day and surrendered to emotion. She cried hard for the first time in her adult life. She cried for everything. It was twice as hard as her incident with the doctor and the death of her father and fiancée. The whole was greater than the sum of its parts this time. The tears where sad, and flowed freely. It was eloquently disturbing but with a strange aura of the beauty of the human race. She cried so, that it was not crying, nor sobbing, it was weeping. Kathryn Janeway wept for the first time in her life. She wept, for what felt like as lifetime. When it finally stopped, the weeping died like the last embers in a fire… slowly and only because the fire was put out… the fire stood for the last moan as Chakotay floated back into a dreamless state, a place where he would be better off. Only then did Kathryn Elizabeth Janeway, weep no more. It was also then when she decided against telling Chakotay anything.See told you its like wtf is the point of the chap, lol then again to make it more like a story its gotta have nothingness in it, think about the last book you read, the only reason it was as long as it was happened to be because of crap like this LOL
well despite me hating this chap review it
its okay if you hate it i hate it too
but like it is always appreciated lol ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!!
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