A Man's Got to Know His Limitations
Chapter Four: A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed
By LastScorpion

"Nothing is there more friendly to a man than a friend in need." That's from a really ancient play written by a man called Titus Maccius Plautus. Being a writer, and with a dad like mine, I've looked up quite a few of these old sayings. People might not agree with me, but I mostly think they're all true.

After the fiery end of that long, brutal fight, I don't remember anything for a long time. When I woke up, I was lying in a heap of blankets on the floor of a room I almost recognized. There were big windows, and the sun was streaming in, which was unbelievably comforting. It looked like late afternoon, about an hour until dusk. I hurt all over, and I was naked, and cold and thirsty, but the sun was shining, and no one was actively trying to kill me, and it was quiet. No one was crying or screaming as far as the ear could hear. For miles around, all I noticed was a few cars whizzing by, and some animals in the fields and woods, and a middle-sized peaceful town in the distance. There was also the sound of someone typing on a computer keyboard behind me.

I rolled over (which hurt my back a lot) and saw Lex Luthor hunched in a wicker chair, working on his laptop. I was very surprised. "Lex?" I asked. My voice was really hoarse.

He looked up at me, startled, and smiled. It wasn't what I expected; it wasn't one of his mean smiles. It wasn't bitter, or even rueful. It wasn't a Luthor smile at all; it was more like the old smiles we used to share sometimes in Smallville a long time ago. He looked awfully tired, though.

"Clark," Lex said in a relieved tone. "Are you really awake this time?"

That confused me a little more, but I answered, "Yeah, I think so. What's going on?"

He shifted down to sit on the floor beside me, leaving the computer on the chair. He grabbed a bottle of water from somewhere, unscrewed the top, and held it for me to drink. I think he was surprised when I was able to hold it myself, but he quickly recovered and propped me up a little so I could finish it. Man, was it good. While I drank, he asked me, "What do you remember?"

Oh, great, time to think of a good lie. I closed my eyes and felt like crying for a few seconds. Unexpectedly, Lex's voice came again, very gently.

"I'm sorry, Clark. Let me just tell you. You fought the Extra-Terror all around the world for two days. Thousands of people were killed or injured." Then I really did start crying, and I missed the next little bit of what he was saying. He stopped and waited quietly for me to calm down, and then went on again. "You finally stopped the monster once and for all in Metropolis. Its body went up in a small nuclear blast. You were... well, Superman was... everybody thought you were killed. The firemen and the National Guard buried you hastily beneath the wreckage of the library." This didn't make sense, but Lex kept talking. "They enshrouded you in the U.S. flag that had been flying over the building, illuminated day and night as per the terms of my great-grandfather's will. All of those who were present for the grand finale suffered from some degree of radiation exposure, but they have all received appropriate treatment and are responding well."

I had my eyes open, now, and I was looking at Lex, but suddenly he couldn't look at me. "I had my people retrieve your body from the rubble a few days later. I wanted to dissect you. I...." He broke off and closed his eyes for a minute. Then he suddenly glared at me furiously and exploded, "Why the hell didn't you ever tell me you were Superman?"

I couldn't help it; I cringed. "I'm sorry, Lex. I didn't know what would happen. And I kind of thought you already knew."

"Well, I didn't!" he retorted. Then his face softened. "I didn't know until I had you there in my lab, and I thought you were dead. Then I finally recognized you, and fortunately I figured out that you were still alive."

This was going better than I ever would have thought it would. I still felt like crap and couldn't, for instance, sit up by myself, but Lex didn't seem to want me dead. "What happens now?" I asked.

"How do you feel?" he asked. "I think you should... do you want some more water?" I nodded, and he helped me drink. "Are you hungry?"

"Not really."

"I've been trying to keep you in the sunlight ever since I got you breathing again two days ago. I had a red meteorite rock that seemed to stimulate you a little; that helped, and you hissed 'sunlight' at me when I put it on you."

"The red rocks make me kind of crazy and mean. You might remember a couple of times...."

"Yes, I do."

We were both silent for a while, then. The colors of the sunset were starting to show through the windows.

"Do you want something to wear? I thought it might be better for you to have as much exposure to the sun's rays as possible, and your Superman suit was destroyed, so I.... It's not that I'm just keeping you nude for my own pleasure, or anything."

I smiled up at Lex. "It's okay, really. Thanks. Do you even have anything here that would fit me?"

"Ha! I thought about that." Lex got up and produced a big terry-cloth robe from a round wicker table that had been shoved to the side of the room. "Let's try this." Getting the robe on was a painful process which seemed to take forever and left me exhausted. Lex's hands felt so warm against me. That was novel; usually I was warmer than a human, and Lex had always seemed so cool, so collected.

The window was completely dark. I fell asleep.

The next thing I knew, it was daytime again. It looked like late morning. The blessed sun beamed in at me, and I felt much better -- still pretty much like crap, but cheerful crap that might be able to sit up if it worked at it real hard. Lex was nowhere to be seen, but I listened around and picked up on him in another room. He was having a one-sided conversation, probably by telephone, with someone, probably some sort of underling.

"Yes, I'm serious. I know perfectly well how much more money we could get for that asset from other parties, however I am the controlling shareholder and CEO of LexCorp, and I have decided to dispose of this property in the manner described. You have your orders, and you will carry them out." Lex hung up the phone. I heard him moving around to some other room, and some clanking noises -- suddenly I realized we were in the Luthor castle just outside Smallville. I knew it like the back of my hand, and I could tell now that Lex was in the kitchen. It sounded like he was heating up something from a can. There didn't seem to be anybody else here but him and me. The whole situation was beyond strange.

Lex came upstairs and brought soup with him. I struggled up to sit leaning against the wicker chair. When he came in, he looked surprised but happy. "You're up! How do you feel? Do you want some soup?

"Yes, please," I answered. He held the bowl for me, but I managed the spoon. Half a bowl of soup wore me out. It felt good, though. I lay back down in the sunny blanket nest and looked sleepily at my old friend. "Who were you talking to?"

I expected a guilty look from him, but I got something else. He looked uncertain, but determined. "I'm divesting LexCorp of a few of our more... questionable ventures. Mike, my assistant, thinks I've lost my mind."

I just kept looking at him, and he went on. "We'll lose some money, but not more than I'm willing to, and when I'm done.... Well, it will be cleaner; I, you won't have to worry...."

"You're selling off all your illegal stuff," I guessed.

"Not exactly. If I were doing only that, Michael would be one hundred percent behind me. Some of my programs and subsidiaries need to be dismantled, not just sold, and some of my key personnel have to be dealt with rather delicately."

"If you were just plain selling some of it, it would only end up in more dangerous hands."

"Exactly. I'm trying to be careful. Not that I've ever proven myself terribly successful at that."

"You can do anything you set your mind to, Lex." I smiled at him, and he looked a little reassured. Then I fell asleep again.

The next time I woke up, the sun was rising. Lex was scrunched up asleep in the big wicker chair. He looked uncomfortable. I felt okay, considering. I sat up, and that went pretty well, so I leaned on Lex's chair and levered myself up to my feet. Wow. It had been years since I'd last felt dizzy. Leaning on the wall all the way, I carefully made it to the bathroom. It didn't take long to decide on a bath over a shower -- falling down on wet tiles would be too easy. I'd just settled gratefully down into a tub of warm water when I heard Lex's panicky cry, "Clark!"

"I'm in the bathtub!" I called.

He rushed in. "You were gone, and I was afraid it was...." He blinked at me sleepily. "All a dream," he finished. He closed the toilet lid and sat down heavily. "You look a lot better."

"I feel like crap. But a lot better than before." I smiled at him.

He smiled back. "It's good to have you back again."

"I was just thinking the same thing."

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

I thought for a second. "Could you help me wash my hair?"

"I don't have any shampoo," he apologized.

"Soap works just fine." I slid down and got my hair wet. Lex had to help me sit back up again. The water wasn't deep enough to drown in. I leaned my elbows on my knees, and Lex tentatively scrubbed my head. It felt good. I was almost asleep just sitting there when he announced that was the best he thought he could do and I should rinse off. He helped me again, then helped me out of the tub and wrapped me in a big towel. I leaned on him all the way back to the solarium and fell asleep again as soon as my head hit the pillow.

The next thing I remember the sun was rising again. I was naked and alone, but the robe from before was lying neatly folded next to my pillow. It looked like it had been washed. I put it on with hardly any trouble at all, and felt so much better that I decided to get up. Listening around, I heard Lex in the kitchen, so I staggered downstairs to find him.

He was rummaging around in a cupboard and didn't seem to hear me come down. I leaned on the doorjamb and said, "Don't you ever sleep?"

He stood up in a hurry and grinned at me. "You're up again. Want some more soup?"

"Oh, yeah." I was starving. I came the rest of the way into the kitchen and plopped myself down on a chair.

Lex busied himself at the big steel range. "How do you feel today?"

"Almost human."

He chuckled. "Good. And it's good to see you up and around. We need to get you some clothes."

"There's some stuff still at my folks' house. It's a Kent family trait to never throw anything away." Actually there was quite a lot of stuff still at my parents' house. When Mom died, a year earlier, I hadn't had the heart to sort through everything and dispose of the junk. I just kept paying the property taxes and coming back home to do the routine maintenance like I had been since Dad died, three years before that. The only difference was that I could only stand to come once a season instead of every other weekend, and the house was empty.

"Well, I'll just have to go break in. Good thing I can still pick a lock." Lex brought me a bowl of soup, then got a cup of coffee for himself and sat down at the kitchen table with me.

"Can't have you breaking and entering." I looked carefully around the kitchen and found it. "There's a key behind the turmeric in your spice cabinet. Mrs. Digman used to keep one for Mom. Ow!"

"What!" Lex looked worried.

I rubbed my forehead with both hands. "X-ray vision headache. Jeeze, I haven't had one of those in twenty years. Don't worry. It'll be gone soon."

Lex looked at me dubiously for a little while. When I stopped wincing and started eating my soup again, he relaxed and got up to look in the spice cabinet. "Huh," he said. "I've had a key to the Kent farmhouse in my kitchen for all these years?"

"You could have come over any time. I always thought you knew that, though. Is there any more soup?"

Lex came over and poured the remaining soup from the pan into the bowl. He put the pan in the sink. "I'll drive over and bring you back some clothing. You'll stay with me here until you're better." The look he gave me turned it from a command to a request, and I smiled my agreement.

"Thanks, Lex. Drive carefully."

"Of course." He gestured expansively. "Make yourself at home. I'll be back as soon as I can."

I finished my soup and put the bowl and spoon in the sink with the pan. I wandered out into Lex's study, which still had a big TV and a sofa, just as it had in the old days. I lay down and found the remote. The TV was set to CNN.

There was breaking news.

I wasn't exactly dressed for heroics, but there was nothing to be done about it. I knotted the belt of my robe as securely as I could and hurried out the front door. At least Chicago wasn't very far away. I hoped I'd be in time to help.

I hoped I'd be able to make it that far. I hoped I'd be able to help at all. Hope springs eternal.