It's been 5 months since I found the lumps; they were the size of a pea at first then they grew. Luckily I had been intimate with anyone and I always keep my legs covered, so being me I went to the doctors to get them checked out. I thought I would get a phone call saying that they would go away and they were nothing serious, in reality it was a different matter the doctor called and said that I would need aggressive chemo on them, as there was a chance of spreading!

I wanted to tell Rachel and everyone it was just too hard what with the pregnancy, Joey, Phoebe telling me to go for it with Rachel and Monica being Monica I just felt like I would be a burden. I told 3 people (Mom, Dad and Emily) they are the only 3 that exist out of the group. Mom and Dad have been keeping me up with what Emma looks like and that she looks a lot like me, I can't wait to see her.

Emily looks at me from the drivers seat "How you feeling?" I look at her; I don't think I will ever be able to show her how grateful I am "Nervous, scared, happy, excited all mixed up. Can I put the radio on to take my mind off this?" I ask like a little boy because that is what I feel like. "Go ahead, just keep calm" she grins at me, I reach out and turn the radio on "Now an old song from Canadian rockers Nickelback."

"Tell your friends not to think aloud Until they swallow Whisper things into my brain Your voice sounds so hallow

I am not a leader of men Since I prefer to follow"

Emily stops outside Monica's apartment building "I can't do this" I start crying, "I've let them all down, why didn't I just tell them?" I say uncontrollably. "ROSS. Calm down" Emily looks a bit scared at this scene that has unfolded before her "Now we are going to go up there and you are going to tell them everything and get your life back!" she genuinely means it too. Its at this point Phoebe walks up to my apartment and sees me, I know I'm stuttering coz Emily has no idea what I am saying "what?" I point over to where Phoebe is standing. What am I going to do?