Meryu: Letting Go...
"I don't understand this," Kura remarked climbing in the '74 Chevy Nova. "I
mean, how do explain not being able to find a set of keys?" She turned, looking
out the window at her bike. 'Of all things to lose,' Kura thought glumly.
Across from Kura, Nathan couldn't seem to stifle her amusement. "You're acting
like she died on you." She concluded, taking in the expression on her friend's
face. "Trust me," Nathan tried to assure her, "You'll find the keys to her
tonight. You just misplaced them... that's all." With that she turned the key,
and the Chevy's engine roared to life.
Watching the scenery, she was trying hard not to think about how she'd rather
be on her black Ninja then in Nathan's deep emerald hotrod. It was only when
they begin to near the school that she remembered how her promise to C.T.
"Um... Nathana," Kura said addressing her friend by her first name. "I'd like
to... uh, I need to get some fresh air before stepping in there." Her plea
sounded quite pitiful , she was sure.
"You're reason," Nathan grimaced at the sound her name. "Being you'd rather not
deal with 'her' right?" She watched as Kura cringed. Obviously she'd been
right. It wasn't often Kura tried to hide things from her, not unless she
didn't even trust herself. Nathan sighed, "What's the girl's name?"
Turning to face her friend Kura held back the urge to strangle her. Sighing,
she turned her attention back to the approaching schoolyard. "C.T." She said,
her voice barely audible. Then more to herself then anyone else, " I can't do
this to her... I can't get her involved."
"What did you say?" Nathan asked after noticing how quiet Kura was speaking.
"You're not getting her into anything. She probably just wants to be friends."
Her conclusion seemed logically enough, but Kura's expression didn't change at
all. Starting to get worried, Nathan pulled onto a side-road. It wasn't like
Kura to act this way. 'What the hell's going on?' Nathan asked herself
silently. Still no matter how hard she tried she couldn't quite put her finger
on it. The worry only seemed to build up until finally she couldn't stand to
only wonder. Pulling off the road, she halted the Nova to a stop. "Okay?"
Noticing the sudden decrease in her friend's speed she turned to see a set of
deep blue questioning eyes. Trying to ignore what she was sure was an inquiry,
she opened the door and leaned against it's side. 'I'm not going to explain
anything.' she thought determined.
The shrill sound of an alarm clock brought C.T. out of a deep sleep. In fact,
it had startled her so much that she found herself setting on the floor. "Damn
it." she whispered angrily. "That was a good dream too."
Getting to her feet took awhile. It took almost three times of her knees
buckling before she managed to stand. Her balance was a bit unstable, but not
so much that she couldn't make her way to the bathroom. "A shower should help
some," C.T. mumbled sleepily.
Walking slowly towards the shower door, she sighed. 'Nothing like a morning in
slow-mo.' she thought with a tired smile. Pulling off her clothes, she stepped
inside the shower. Pulling the curtain shut she sighed. Within moments she of
the warm water hitting her skin her thoughts cleared. "Oh," she sighed as her
muscles begin to wake up. "This is more like it."
Thirty minutes later with a towel wrapped firmly around her, she searched her
closet. "Ooh... come on," C.T. pleaded as she continued to throw aside shirts
and skirts in every color possible. "I know it's in here somewhere..."
A knock at the door startled C.T., causing her towel to fall at her feet.
Quickly she scrambled to get the towel and re-wrap it around her. "Um... Who's
there?" She asked as a light blush crept into her cheeks. 'Please let it be
nothing more then *breakfast's ready*,' she thought in a panic.
"Um.." Karrie softly begin, "I found this..." Slowly he pushed open the door to
his sister's room. "I was... well," his voice cracked with what C.T. identified
as embarrassment.
C.T. watched as the sleek black dress and her bright orange denim jacket were
pushed through her door.
"I needed to use the jacket and accidentally grabbed the dress too. I'm sorry
next time I'll ask." He said, leaving her no time to question him further.
Sighing, she smiled. "Don't fret it Karrie." No sooner did she get the words
out, her door slowly crept shut.
C.T. preceded to ready herself for school. As much as she tried to slow down,
she couldn't. There seemed to be something pulling her this morning. And
judging from her dream, she could only guess who.
Kura wasn't ready to get a lecture on her on why she shouldn't avoid people. As
always, she found herself listening quietly to Nathan's words. "You can't keep
running from your feelings. Running from anyone who might care. From me?!"
Kura couldn't help but smile. 'Of course I know this,' she thought solemnly,
'I'm not running... I'm looking out for you. And her.' Looking up, Kura was met
by deeply concerned blue eyes. "Hey Nathan," she smiled once more. "You know
I've been trying to get past that."
Nathan nodded but didn't seem any less worried. "What's the real reason you're
avoiding school?" she demanded softly.
Kura seemed to be lost in thought once again. Truthfully she was trying to keep
herself together. Nathan was the only person who'd really cared after their
relationship. Everyone else had run, even she ran from herself. Even though
they were no longer together, all Kura wanted was to be back in her arms.
"Why?" She asked in a steady voice.
"Just answer me," Nathan replied, hurt seeping into her eyes. Watching Kura she
knew what was going on. Nathan choked down the words of protest that were
trying make them selves heard. She couldn't give Kura what she needed. She only
hoped....
Kura noticed the struggle of emotions going on inside Nathan. Those were all
too familiar to her. Still seeing her ex-lover like this hurt. But what should
she say? She couldn't even figure out why she wanted to avoid... No, protect
C.T. Tapping Nathan on the shoulder, she motioned towards the school. "I'll try
to explain on the way."
Nathan nodded, and found her way to the door. Tears stinging at her eyes. 'This
is going to hurt.' She thought getting in and starting up the engine.
C.T. watched as the emerald colored Nova pull up to the school and stop.
Looking closer, she noticed Kura was inside along with someone else. Another
girl. C.T.'s heart sank to the ground as she watched them deep in conversation.
She watched hurt, as tears slowly welled up. She blinked trying to stop them
from falling... she couldn't risk having anyone see her like this.
"It's well," Kura glanced towards the school doors, "Hard to explain... there's
just..."
"Something about her?" Nathan asked unknowingly completing Kura's sentence.
Kura nodded. "Don't run from her..." Nathan pleaded her voice breaking. Quickly
she turned away, not wanting Kura to see the tears streaming steadily down her
face. 'I have to let her go,' she assured herself silently. 'She's not mine...
I'm not enough.' Pain shot through her and she was sure her heart had split...
but she did nothing to save it.
"You're crying." Kura stated simply, brushing aside Nathan's deep red locks. "I
didn't mean to hurt you..." She tried to soothe her friend's pain, but to no
avail. "What is it?"
Wiping her tears away, Nathan turned to Kura. 'It's nothing you did,' she
thought. Then looking up she noticed a blonde girl watching her. She seemed
near tears herself. 'You must be her.' "I'll be okay... get to class. Don't
want to be late." Nathan stated giving Kura no chance to abject.
"I... but ... um," Kura sputtered. 'What's going on?'
Placing a light kiss on Kura's lips Nathan smiled. It hurt but she knew what
she had to do. "Someone's waiting for you..."
C.T. froze, they were looking her way. 'Should I run,' she debated. 'Or stay
to....?' She decided to stay... hoping against all odds she still had a chance.
Something wet touched her cheek. 'Tears?' She thought. 'I can't cry!'
It was C.T. Kura couldn't help but sigh. She looked hurt, as did Nathan. 'Why
do I have the feeling this is all about me?' she thought frowning. She hated
hurting people.
Nathan watched silently as Kura suddenly had concern creep into her eyes. "Get
going..."
Opening the car door, Kura edged out. Reaching back in to get her bag... she
noticed the tears falling down Nathan's face. Setting back down she pulled
Nathan to her. "I'm sorry."
Nathan allowed Kura to hold her, it was her way of accepting what she knew was
happening. She didn't expect what Kura did next.
Leaning down Kura let herself get lost in her ex-lover's kiss. Deepening it
slightly, she moaned inwardly. God did she miss her.
Finally breaking the kiss against her own aching desire, Nathan smiled.
Brushing a kiss along her lover's lips she let the tears fall freely. Grabbing
Kura's bag, she handed it to her. Kura gave her a look filled with confusion.
Motioning Kura to get out, Nathan forced another smile. "Let her try...." she
requested tossing a look towards C.T. She closed the door behind Kura. "She
deserves that much."
Kura followed Nathan's gaze noticing C.T. once more. 'What?' she thought,
turning back to see the emerald fade slowly into the distance. Looking back up
at C.T. she smiled. "So, how you doing?" She greeted. 'I have to talk to Nathan
at the next race.'
"Fine," C.T. said trying desperately to look more excited. "Who was that?" She
asked implying the driver of the Nova.
Kura smiled. "Oh, that's my best friend. You'll have to meet her sometime."
With that she motioned C.T. into the school doors. It was time to allow herself
a normal life. Time to stop running.
"I don't understand this," Kura remarked climbing in the '74 Chevy Nova. "I
mean, how do explain not being able to find a set of keys?" She turned, looking
out the window at her bike. 'Of all things to lose,' Kura thought glumly.
Across from Kura, Nathan couldn't seem to stifle her amusement. "You're acting
like she died on you." She concluded, taking in the expression on her friend's
face. "Trust me," Nathan tried to assure her, "You'll find the keys to her
tonight. You just misplaced them... that's all." With that she turned the key,
and the Chevy's engine roared to life.
Watching the scenery, she was trying hard not to think about how she'd rather
be on her black Ninja then in Nathan's deep emerald hotrod. It was only when
they begin to near the school that she remembered how her promise to C.T.
"Um... Nathana," Kura said addressing her friend by her first name. "I'd like
to... uh, I need to get some fresh air before stepping in there." Her plea
sounded quite pitiful , she was sure.
"You're reason," Nathan grimaced at the sound her name. "Being you'd rather not
deal with 'her' right?" She watched as Kura cringed. Obviously she'd been
right. It wasn't often Kura tried to hide things from her, not unless she
didn't even trust herself. Nathan sighed, "What's the girl's name?"
Turning to face her friend Kura held back the urge to strangle her. Sighing,
she turned her attention back to the approaching schoolyard. "C.T." She said,
her voice barely audible. Then more to herself then anyone else, " I can't do
this to her... I can't get her involved."
"What did you say?" Nathan asked after noticing how quiet Kura was speaking.
"You're not getting her into anything. She probably just wants to be friends."
Her conclusion seemed logically enough, but Kura's expression didn't change at
all. Starting to get worried, Nathan pulled onto a side-road. It wasn't like
Kura to act this way. 'What the hell's going on?' Nathan asked herself
silently. Still no matter how hard she tried she couldn't quite put her finger
on it. The worry only seemed to build up until finally she couldn't stand to
only wonder. Pulling off the road, she halted the Nova to a stop. "Okay?"
Noticing the sudden decrease in her friend's speed she turned to see a set of
deep blue questioning eyes. Trying to ignore what she was sure was an inquiry,
she opened the door and leaned against it's side. 'I'm not going to explain
anything.' she thought determined.
The shrill sound of an alarm clock brought C.T. out of a deep sleep. In fact,
it had startled her so much that she found herself setting on the floor. "Damn
it." she whispered angrily. "That was a good dream too."
Getting to her feet took awhile. It took almost three times of her knees
buckling before she managed to stand. Her balance was a bit unstable, but not
so much that she couldn't make her way to the bathroom. "A shower should help
some," C.T. mumbled sleepily.
Walking slowly towards the shower door, she sighed. 'Nothing like a morning in
slow-mo.' she thought with a tired smile. Pulling off her clothes, she stepped
inside the shower. Pulling the curtain shut she sighed. Within moments she of
the warm water hitting her skin her thoughts cleared. "Oh," she sighed as her
muscles begin to wake up. "This is more like it."
Thirty minutes later with a towel wrapped firmly around her, she searched her
closet. "Ooh... come on," C.T. pleaded as she continued to throw aside shirts
and skirts in every color possible. "I know it's in here somewhere..."
A knock at the door startled C.T., causing her towel to fall at her feet.
Quickly she scrambled to get the towel and re-wrap it around her. "Um... Who's
there?" She asked as a light blush crept into her cheeks. 'Please let it be
nothing more then *breakfast's ready*,' she thought in a panic.
"Um.." Karrie softly begin, "I found this..." Slowly he pushed open the door to
his sister's room. "I was... well," his voice cracked with what C.T. identified
as embarrassment.
C.T. watched as the sleek black dress and her bright orange denim jacket were
pushed through her door.
"I needed to use the jacket and accidentally grabbed the dress too. I'm sorry
next time I'll ask." He said, leaving her no time to question him further.
Sighing, she smiled. "Don't fret it Karrie." No sooner did she get the words
out, her door slowly crept shut.
C.T. preceded to ready herself for school. As much as she tried to slow down,
she couldn't. There seemed to be something pulling her this morning. And
judging from her dream, she could only guess who.
Kura wasn't ready to get a lecture on her on why she shouldn't avoid people. As
always, she found herself listening quietly to Nathan's words. "You can't keep
running from your feelings. Running from anyone who might care. From me?!"
Kura couldn't help but smile. 'Of course I know this,' she thought solemnly,
'I'm not running... I'm looking out for you. And her.' Looking up, Kura was met
by deeply concerned blue eyes. "Hey Nathan," she smiled once more. "You know
I've been trying to get past that."
Nathan nodded but didn't seem any less worried. "What's the real reason you're
avoiding school?" she demanded softly.
Kura seemed to be lost in thought once again. Truthfully she was trying to keep
herself together. Nathan was the only person who'd really cared after their
relationship. Everyone else had run, even she ran from herself. Even though
they were no longer together, all Kura wanted was to be back in her arms.
"Why?" She asked in a steady voice.
"Just answer me," Nathan replied, hurt seeping into her eyes. Watching Kura she
knew what was going on. Nathan choked down the words of protest that were
trying make them selves heard. She couldn't give Kura what she needed. She only
hoped....
Kura noticed the struggle of emotions going on inside Nathan. Those were all
too familiar to her. Still seeing her ex-lover like this hurt. But what should
she say? She couldn't even figure out why she wanted to avoid... No, protect
C.T. Tapping Nathan on the shoulder, she motioned towards the school. "I'll try
to explain on the way."
Nathan nodded, and found her way to the door. Tears stinging at her eyes. 'This
is going to hurt.' She thought getting in and starting up the engine.
C.T. watched as the emerald colored Nova pull up to the school and stop.
Looking closer, she noticed Kura was inside along with someone else. Another
girl. C.T.'s heart sank to the ground as she watched them deep in conversation.
She watched hurt, as tears slowly welled up. She blinked trying to stop them
from falling... she couldn't risk having anyone see her like this.
"It's well," Kura glanced towards the school doors, "Hard to explain... there's
just..."
"Something about her?" Nathan asked unknowingly completing Kura's sentence.
Kura nodded. "Don't run from her..." Nathan pleaded her voice breaking. Quickly
she turned away, not wanting Kura to see the tears streaming steadily down her
face. 'I have to let her go,' she assured herself silently. 'She's not mine...
I'm not enough.' Pain shot through her and she was sure her heart had split...
but she did nothing to save it.
"You're crying." Kura stated simply, brushing aside Nathan's deep red locks. "I
didn't mean to hurt you..." She tried to soothe her friend's pain, but to no
avail. "What is it?"
Wiping her tears away, Nathan turned to Kura. 'It's nothing you did,' she
thought. Then looking up she noticed a blonde girl watching her. She seemed
near tears herself. 'You must be her.' "I'll be okay... get to class. Don't
want to be late." Nathan stated giving Kura no chance to abject.
"I... but ... um," Kura sputtered. 'What's going on?'
Placing a light kiss on Kura's lips Nathan smiled. It hurt but she knew what
she had to do. "Someone's waiting for you..."
C.T. froze, they were looking her way. 'Should I run,' she debated. 'Or stay
to....?' She decided to stay... hoping against all odds she still had a chance.
Something wet touched her cheek. 'Tears?' She thought. 'I can't cry!'
It was C.T. Kura couldn't help but sigh. She looked hurt, as did Nathan. 'Why
do I have the feeling this is all about me?' she thought frowning. She hated
hurting people.
Nathan watched silently as Kura suddenly had concern creep into her eyes. "Get
going..."
Opening the car door, Kura edged out. Reaching back in to get her bag... she
noticed the tears falling down Nathan's face. Setting back down she pulled
Nathan to her. "I'm sorry."
Nathan allowed Kura to hold her, it was her way of accepting what she knew was
happening. She didn't expect what Kura did next.
Leaning down Kura let herself get lost in her ex-lover's kiss. Deepening it
slightly, she moaned inwardly. God did she miss her.
Finally breaking the kiss against her own aching desire, Nathan smiled.
Brushing a kiss along her lover's lips she let the tears fall freely. Grabbing
Kura's bag, she handed it to her. Kura gave her a look filled with confusion.
Motioning Kura to get out, Nathan forced another smile. "Let her try...." she
requested tossing a look towards C.T. She closed the door behind Kura. "She
deserves that much."
Kura followed Nathan's gaze noticing C.T. once more. 'What?' she thought,
turning back to see the emerald fade slowly into the distance. Looking back up
at C.T. she smiled. "So, how you doing?" She greeted. 'I have to talk to Nathan
at the next race.'
"Fine," C.T. said trying desperately to look more excited. "Who was that?" She
asked implying the driver of the Nova.
Kura smiled. "Oh, that's my best friend. You'll have to meet her sometime."
With that she motioned C.T. into the school doors. It was time to allow herself
a normal life. Time to stop running.
