TITLE: "Stone by Stone" Chapter Three - Learn a Lesson Everyday
AUTHOR: Elise D.
FEEDBACK: Gimme gimme. Just be gentle.
SUMMARY: Season Seven, Buffy and Spike exploration. Building up stone by stone.
SPOILERS: Spoiler free, do I get a cookie?
RATING: PG-13.
DISCLAIMER: Nobody buys me good presents, so I steal other peoples.

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Buffy wasn't ready for bed. If she were perfectly honest with herself, she'd never be ready. Not with her father figure snoring in the dining room, and her former boyfriend…lover...vampire…whatever he was, was pacing in the basement.

She knew him well enough to know that he was pacing. She could almost picture him, if she put her mind to it. He'd be rehashing their conversation, wondering if he should have held her hand, patted her back, thrown her down and…whoa, down girl. Not going there. Working on a friendship, remember? Oh God, that really wasn't what she was remembering. It was going to be a damn long night.

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Spike just couldn't stop pacing. If he stood still for a mere minute, his mind wandered right back to the porch and the conversation with his Slayer. He could go right back there now, assuming she hadn't kipped in for the night. He could go out there, and tell her the truth. That no matter how hard he fought it, he's always on the verge of kissing her. Always wanting to tell her that he loves her. Always wanting to just…well that brought up a memory he could have done without. His sodding soul wasn't giving him a minute's peace. What was the point in getting it, if he was going to mope around all the time? God, another fine mess he'd gotten himself into.

---

Giles was going to scream bloody murder. He could hear his Slayer pacing upstairs and he could hear the resident vampire in the basement, kicking the walls and muttering to himself. What good is having a carpenter in the fray, if he couldn't bloody well soundproof the house? God knows with all the girls and their boots, it was a pretty sound idea to consider. He'd have to remember to broach the subject with Buffy in the morning.

He sighed and rolled over, trying to find a comfortable position that would somehow at least block out the sound in one ear. If those two couldn't work something out somehow, he'd knock their heads together. A man can only take so much of the sexual tension, and stolen glances. And he was pretty sure Xander and Anya were using up all of his patience with just that. He needed a break from the hormone-addled adults (and demons, he amended) in the house. And Buffy needed to sort out her feelings, without the pressure from Spike. He was pretty sure that he was keeping his distance, but with Spike, one never knew. As long as there were no cattle prods involved. He hoped to God the vampire had learnt his lesson from that one. Stupid pillock.


---

Buffy studied her reflection in the mirror. She was looking healthier these days, and she was glad. Last year had been too damn much for her, and the effects had shown. Spike had continually pointed it out, and she'd blatantly ignored it. God, she had been so cruel to him. He hadn't deserved it, not really. God forbid someone actually show concern for her. He wasn't involved in her resurrection, yet the only punishment had been doled out on to him. She'd dished it all on him. Her frustration, all of her resentment towards everybody else, she'd been vicious.

Rubbing her eyes, she began pacing again. How could she have been so cold to everybody last year? Especially Spike, who'd been the only one who could empathize with her trauma. He'd been there, he knew, and he tried to help. And then everything got so messed up, so fast, and she knew she'd caused the majority of it. Catching another look in the mirror, she frowned. She wasn't that person any more, was she? She really hoped not, because he didn't deserve any of it again. And he wasn't the same person he was either. But they were, right? Or at least, they had all the memories and feelings…and urges, can't forget those pesky urges of hers.

God, things were so messed up. She flopped down on the bed, staring at her ceiling. She wasn't in love with him, but she did have feelings for him. Feelings that ran a lot deeper that she'd ever admitted to anyone, especially Spike. It wasn't love though. She'd had that with Angel, and her feelings for Spike were completely different. They ran differently, deeper really.

She sat bolt upright with shock. No. No, no, no. She wasn't that stupid…was she? What she had with Angel was love. Just because what she had with Spike was different, didn't mean it was a different kind of love…did it? She flopped back down again. She was obsessing over different, and couldn't stop thinking the word. God, why couldn't things be simple? Just black and white, so she knew where she stood. Of course, things in the demon world weren't black and white, so why should her love life be any different? Especially when the love life actually involves one of the demons that lived in the grey area. So she now doubted her own feelings. Well, she wasn't called Denial Buffy for nothing. Who knew what she was really feeling at the time? She sure as hell didn't, things had been so crazy.

Glancing at the clock, she realized she'd been wrestling with her subconscious for over two hours. There wasn't even any point in trying to sleep now. She should just go downstairs and grab something to eat. But she wasn't really hungry, so what was the point? Well, she could pop down to the basement and see if Spike was up for a breakfast run before sunrise. That would work, right? She could use the company. Yeah. Pretty straightforward, as friendly activities go. It was nothing painful or overly complicated, and it was free of any innuendo. This was a doable plan.

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Spike had not been brooding - make no mistake. He was simply pondering his unlife when the Slayer came down the stairs to talk to him. No matter what she said, he had not been brooding. He wasn't brooding now at least, as he had been designated as cart pusher, around the all-night supermarket. He led the strangest life. A vampire that was getting groceries with the Slayer, to feed a houseful of potential slayers. Not to mention a watcher, killer witch, former key, former demon/current capitalist…and a bricklayer. Just weird, no matter which way you sliced it.

He just watched the Slayer, as she bit her lip in indecision of which cereal to buy. Surely her life should be a little more than this. Killing at night, and nursemaid by day? It didn't seem right, or fair. And the sideways glances she kept stealing worried him. Did she expect him to suddenly vamp out and go on a killing spree? It had to be something like that, because every time he caught her eye, she got flustered. Not good, not good at all. She still didn't trust him, did she? Marvellous. Just pigging marvellous. There was no way he could win.

"Count Chocula. It just seems right, doesn't it? Plus sugar rush? Gotta help with these late riser types. Less grouch in the kitchen?" Buffy babbled, as she added a couple of boxes to the cart.

"Well, I think they'll see the funny side, and if it keeps them off the Wheetabix, then I'm all for it," agreed Spike with a smile.

They continued wandering down the isles, as Buffy would occasionally stop to browse the produce, and Spike would browse her. Her body language was so relaxed, confusing Spike. She was sending more mixed signals than she used to, and that had been too much as well.

"Brooder," she said, knocking him from his reverie.

"I am not. I was just wondering if we had enough milk. For the cereal, that's all," responded the indignant vampire. Pushing the cart back into motion.

"Oh, lighten up, Spike," said Buffy, nudging his shoulder with her own. "I was kidding, I swear."

They continued walking in silence, Spike debating whether he should chain himself up again, to prove his trust to her in some way. Buffy was still thinking bad, confusing thoughts, and she didn't know what to say.

"This is nice, Spike. Just doing something normal," was all she could settle with.

"Love? Vampire here, nothing normal about it," he replied with a smile.

Buffy gave a very unladylike snort, before biting her lip again. Spike sighed. This was obviously causing her a lot of stress. She didn't deserve it.

"Look, Buffy…"

"I think I might be in love with you," she blurted out. She turned to face him, her eyes wide with fear and horror at her own brain's betrayal. "Heh, that really wasn't supposed to come out quite like that," she added, with a sheepish grin.

Spike dropped the milk on the floor, not caring as it puddled at his feet.