Author's Notes: A breakup? Well...okay, to be fair, I'm not going to give any detail here. I'd just like to remind everyone that I never, ever, said this was AU. (Alternate Universe, for those who don't know.) The reason this is so late is that I've been having some family problems, and it's made it a little hard for me to write. I'm sorry about it.

Be Stupid Chapter Eight: When Ax Causes Trouble

It had to be a miracle, thought Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill. There was no other possible reason for this. None at all.
He had not yet been waken up by the phone, or by any pounding at his door. It was a miracle.
Of course it logically wouldn't last long. Sooner or later, either Marco would call him or drop by -- or maybe his landlady would, Ax thought, remembering he still hadn't paid her. That wasn't good. He'd seen how that woman got when she wasn't given the money she needed. It was nearly as frightening as a horde of Hork-Bajir, if not more.
He'd better pay her while he still could. Now, where did he put his rent?

It was a few minutes afterwards when Ax started to get irritated. For his life, he couldn't find the place he'd put his rent.
Of course, it might have been because of the fact that he was searching around his house in his Andalite body.
If it had been anyone but Ax, they probably would've thought that was pretty funny -- an Andalite snooping around for money. But Ax, being Ax, didn't think it was really all that funny.
Then Ax heard a crumpling sort of sound under his hooves. He looked down with his stalk eyes -- yes, he'd found it!
Underneath him were three crumpled hundred dollar bills, the exact amount he needed to pay his rent. Except there was one problem. He couldn't exactly bend down to reach the money. So after a few failed attempts at trying to reach the dollar bills with his hands, Ax finally gave up and morphed human. He felt a rather familiar disquiet when the changes were finished taking place. He was basically living here as a human. Wouldn't it be easier if he just became human?
No! Ax thought immediately. No matter what the temptation might be, he was still Andalite. Even if he felt, at times...
Ax forced himself to stop that line of thought. He was still Andalite. That was it, end of discussion.
Then he went to go get some clothes -- even though he was an Andalite, that didn't mean his landlady had to know.

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Ax knocked on the door, and wondered what time it was -- in human minutes, of course. Was it still too early for his landlady to be up? Apparently not, as the door opened in front of him.
"Holy bejeezus, young man! It's far too early for you to be up!" Or maybe it still was early. Ax attempted a sheepish smile, but it just looked awkward on him. "I am sorry. Eee."
Ax's landlady frowned at him. "Do you do that a lot?"
Ax blinked at her, feeling a little confuse. "Do what-tuh?"
"That. Do you have a stuttering problem, son?" Ax's landlady asked him. Ax shook his head. "Not as much as I used to." He told her.
His landlady laughed at him. "Not as much, huh? Well, I'd hate to see you then!" Ax laughed, too. He had to wonder what his landlady would think of him if he had such a problem with words as he used to...even though they were still fun to play with. "You've come to pay your rent, haven't you?" Ax nodded, and handed her the three hundred he owed.
The old woman smiled at him, taking up the money. To Ax's surprise, she had a rather pleasant smile. He'd never seen her smile before -- though, in all honesty, he hadn't seen very much of the lady during his three month stay on Earth.
Ax smiled back, and turned back to leave, but -- "Would you like to come in for a while? I could use the company."
Ax looked back at the old, gruff lady who now looked a little lonely. Why not? "Yes, I would enjoy that."
So then the landlady let him in. She had a very nice house, though not really extravagant.

"You know, I haven't gotten to know you very well." Ax's landlady told him. "I get to at least meet most of my tenants, but you...you just kind of showed up out of nowhere, sonny. Asked me if I had any room to spare and that was that."
Ax took in a sharp breath. Exactly what was she getting at? "I suppose I am just a secretive person." He said.
"I suppose so." The old lady laughed. "Not meaning to be suspicious, I just guess the news got to me."
Ax couldn't figure out what she was talking about. "The news?" He blankly asked.
His landlady looked at him. "Up this early and you don't watch the news? You are a strange one." She chuckled and turned on the TV, and up came the morning news.
Ax couldn't believe what he saw. He had to be imagining this. It just couldn't be real.
Maybe I should have expected this, Ax thought, but he had been trying to keep the fact that he was staying on Earth a secret. Apparently it wasn't a secret anymore.
Ax sat down hard on his landlady's sofa. "Kind of a shocker, isn't it?" The old lady asked. "I just can't believe that Andalite managed to keep it from those press nazis he was here at all." She shook her head disgustedly. "Can't blame him for wanting for some privacy, but I guess that's the price of fame, wouldn't you say?"
Ax managed to nod his head. "Yes, that is a shame. Ame. Sh-sh-ame..." The landlady frowned at him.
"Are you feeling all right, sonny?" She asked. Ax gulped. "Yes, I'm feeling fine. I was just a little surprised, that is all."
Ax's landlady marched up to him and put her hand on his head and announced her verdict: "You feel very warm, son. Are you sure you're not sick?"
Ax fiercely nodded, and managed to lift himself up from the couch even though he really felt too dizzy to stand.
His landlady laughed. "You don't have to show off to prove your point." Ax blushed.
"Well, since you're not going to let me see if you're sick, can I at least feed you?" The old lady asked.
Ax agreed that she could feed him.

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Half an hour and a complete breakfast later, Ax's landlady decided he was well fed. Ax had to admit that was true -- the woman had cooked up enough food to feed a small army. It had been quite an enjoyable experience in Ax's opinion. They had a very interesting conversation, ranging from what they thought would happen to "that Andalite on TV" since it had been revealed where he was. That part had been sort of tense for Ax. He'd found out that his landlady had once been married but she'd lost her husband in the war -- he'd been (to the lady's disgust) a voluntary controller.
She had heard he was dead, but when she found out he'd volunteered to be infested, she didn't bother making sure he was still among the living. Ax lied that he had lost his parents in the war -- both killed by a misfired Dracon Beam.

In a way it might be true that he had lost his parents. After the war they were thrilled at his new rank and glad to have their son back. For about a year; things had been much better than he'd ever remembered them being. His parents no longer told him he should be "more like Elfangor". It hadn't lasted, though. Sooner than he'd expected they started to torment him about being "too human". He should be more like his own people, or at least hide his "human" tendencies better. They didn't like how he had started to challenge some beliefs of the public -- that women shouldn't fight in the military, for example. So things had begun to grow tense between him and his parents.
Things finally broke between them when Ax refused to court an Andalite girl his parents had taken a shine to.
They had asked him why he didn't do as they asked -- this girl was nice, intelligent and beautiful.
He told them that he had no desire to court a female. After that they couldn't even look at him. Between the two, only his mother talked to him. She told him that she did still love him, but to be careful to not bring shame upon the family.
When it had been discovered that Elfangor had a human son, only both sons' reputations had saved their family honor.
Ax had jokingly told his mother that at least he wasn't looking to court out of his species anytime soon. (Ironically, Ax recalled that his mother had doubted that would last.) However, Noorlin-Sirinal-Cooraf was a completely different matter.
Ax's father flatly refused to even acknowledge his son. This was what caused Ax and his mother to decide maybe he should leave for a while, until his father managed to calm down and "see reason", as Forlay-Esgarrouth-Maheen had put it. Ax wished her the best of luck and they ended up having a very long drawn-out goodbye, since neither of them could guess when Ax should return home. The only people he had told of his coming to Earth were the other Animorphs...only Cassie had really tried to interrogate him on why he'd left the homeworld. At the time though, he didn't want to tell anyone or anything. He didn't want to risk that his friends would also abandon him.

Ax sighed and got ready to leave his landlady's home. "It has been nice to talk with you." Ax told the old lady.
His landlady smiled. "You too, son. Oh...and if I were you, I'd be on the lookout for any sleazy reporters."
Ax started blankly at his landlady. "How did you know?"
"I've been around here for a while, son. Not everyday does a young man show up here without any explanation. Seriously, you didn't think I was going to guess?" Ax's landlady chided him. "Now, off with you. I'm sure you have things to do." Actually Ax didn't have a thing planned for the day except to maybe catch up on the Young and Restless.
This didn't stop his landlady from shoving him out the door. Ax attempted to protest, but he found himself outside in a just second. He sighed and figured he may as well be heading home soon as it was -- he didn't want to risk being trapped in morph. So he went in the opposite direction back home. It wasn't until much later did he learn his landlady had seen a cameraman and a crew of reporters coming their way.

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It had happened sometime in the late morning. Aximilli-Esgarrouth-Isthill had been slowly strolling to his home.
He had been almost there when he heard it.
GET AWAY! I DO NOT WISH TO HURT YOU!
Ax took off running in the direction that he had heard the scream. What he saw shocked him.
Three human boys, no older than sixteen, were brandishing knives. They had ganged up on an Andalite female. She looked to be somewhat younger than Ax. No doubt some tourist who knew very little about humans.
She was trying to not hurt the boys but they had no problem hurting her. Ax did not really think about what he did next. He began to demorph.
The Andalite's eyes widened in surprise; the boys turned around and they started to scream.

SCARRING YOUNG MEN FOR LIFE? WHAT A THING TO DO.

Ax, now a mix of human and Andalite, stood still in fear and stopped. The Andalite girl had taken the opportunity to run without looking back. Her tormentors still stood there. One of them, either stupider or braver than the others, shouted "Get him!"
In a panic Ax started demorphing again. He saw his tail blade emerge just as one of the boys leapt onto his back.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO KILL THAT BOY WITH IT?

Without warning, Ax felt his body break into sharp painful spasms. The boy on Ax's back lost his grip and landed on the ground only a millimeter from the tip of Ax's tailblade. Ax fought an urge to faint, but then was met with a much more disturbing feeling. He wasn't moving his body.
Ax felt himself completely demorph but not of his own will. The boy who had fallen off of him had moved, he was scooting back in a total panic. The other boys stood frozen still in fear. Ax felt his body turn around to face the boys.
FWAAP! Ax's tailblade sliced through the air at a-quicker-than sight speed. The boy hadn't moved far enough!
NO! Ax screamed. NO! NO! STOP THIS! STOP! Ax felt himself lose all the strength in his body, but not before he saw the deep cut across the boy's arm. It was bleeding a deep, dark red. He could see the boy's bone.
Then Ax fainted.

I GUESS I WANTED TO KILL HIM, THEN.

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It was a while longer before Ax woke up. This place didn't look familiar at all...
"Hey! He's awake!" Cassie? Was that Cassie's voice? He couldn't tell, everything was too blurry.
Yes, it was Cassie. Everything started coming into focus again -- he was somewhere very, very white.
Spotlessly white. It was disturbing.
"Cassie, what happened?" Ax asked, feeling a sudden panic overtake him. How long had he in been in morph? When had he morphed to human? Ax sat up, but fought back a yelp at the sharp pain in his chest.
"Don't strain yourself." Cassie said, forcing Ax to lay back down onto his bed. "Now, what happened was that those boys had...well, you morphed to human when you lost consciousness. They decided to attack you then."
"Yes, and you've been here since." Ax suddenly saw Jake and Marco behind Cassie.
Ax tried to take this in. So he had been attacked yet again and was now in a hospital...but...
"How long have I been here?" Ax demanded.
"Only an hour. Don't panic or anything." Marco teased, looking out the window near him, and then at Ax.
Cassie and Jake exchanged glances, but neither one of them spoke. Ax had to wonder -- did they know?
"How did you find this out?" Ax asked. "It was all over the news." Cassie said. "First it's been discovered that you were hiding for three months, then you're in the street beaten up. Of course people would leap all over it."
"Well, maybe that's how Cassie found out. I got to listen to Marco panic." Jake said, scowling at Marco.
"I wasn't panicking, I was concerned." Marco protested. Jake snorted. "Oh yeah, that's what it's called when you're ranting my ear off and holding your handheld TV for dear life the whole way here. Concern."
Cassie giggled, but Ax was just surprised. He hadn't thought anyone was going to panic -- though, in a way, it was comforting to know that Marco had been worried.

"Is there something wrong with wanting to stay informed?" Marco asked no one in particular.
Then he put his hand and pulled out a handheld TV. "Hey, I even get cable on this thing." He showed it to everybody, and then played around with a switch on the side. "See, we can get the news..." Then he stopped talking.
"Is that who I think it is?" Cassie asked. Jake nodded. "It's got to be."
Ax felt his stomach lurch. Even on the homeworld were people well informed of this man: Chris Tompson, leader and spokesperson of the Human Alliance, an organization of the opinion that only creatures of Earth should step on her soil. They were especially anti-Andalite, worrying that the Andalites were, generally, no better than Yeerks.
And they were proudly displaying their footage of Ax attacking "an innocent human boy".

To My Press (god no! cameras! **ducks**)

Doctor Strangelove - I hope there's enough Ax in this for you! Even though he's not really funny in this chapter. (whoops...) Tilopid will show up, in true stalker fashion. And so will the swords, I'm just not sure how yet. Maybe Marco'll drop them off or something.

Forlay - Oh no! I had no Tilopid or pastries! No review! Ahhhhh! **takes a minute to compose herself** You have blue hair? Well, considering it's been forever since I updated this, I guess not. Maybe I should've made Cassie hyperventilate, that would have been funny. Oh jeez, I think I owe you guys an apology since this chapter was kind of dark...and once again, our crazer stalker chick will make her presence known