Please note, that I do not own the character of Severus Snape, or any other magical lingo. This is a Severus/OC story. Samantha is my own creation.
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Chapter 10:
This was his sanctuary. This used to be his parents' chambers. He always felt older, stronger, more responsible… more alive in this room.
The floors were a rich cherry wood. Rugs were splayed all across the room, in no particular order, yet looking elegant. Every stick of furniture was a priceless heirloom of the Snape family. The fine chairs, sofas, tables, cabinets, shelves, decorations.
Though, he never really cared for these things. It was the sentimental value of the room that drew him here.
Three elaborately carved doors lined the wall across from the main doors. They led to his other rooms, a study, a bedroom, and a bathroom. The two walls on each end of the room had several windows, letting in the pale light of outside.
Severus paced this room. He locked himself in again, after ensuring that Miss Smill was asleep in bed. He paced. The rain pelted the windows, the soft rhythm echoing in the vast room. Flashes of lightening and clashes of thunder intermittently filled the void in the room.
He was dripping water all over the floor, the valuable rugs, but he didn't care. He paced. He tore off his cape and threw it across the room.
What was wrong with him? How could he have done that test? The Headmaster told him to choose an appropriate test for her. So he chose the hardest one. He knew there are at least half a dozen tests to confirm loyalty to the Light. He knew. Ever since the Headmaster had left, he was thinking. He reflected on all the things the Headmaster had talked about.
James Potter. The arrogant brat was endangering himself and his…family. Lily. Severus closed his eyes, breathing deeply. That damn Potter was endangering Lily. Damn fool. Whatever "secret task" he was assigned had attracted the Dark Lord's attention. The Headmaster fears for their safety. Severus had suggested a Fidelius charm, until he could think of something better.
And Miss Smill. What a mess. Dumbledore explained her prowess. She was strong and highly knowledgeable in Dark Arts. The main reason she was recruited for the Dark Lord's service. She mustn't be allowed to communicate with the Death Eaters, loyal or not. She possessed information preciously valuable to their cause. Most likely, if she ran, she would be hunted, too, just like Potter. For now, the Death Eaters assume that she'll apparate when the next meeting convenes.
Almost all night he thought about her. He didn't understand it. She'd just entered his life. He didn't know anything about her. After her attempt at feeding him dinner, Severus had stormed into his bedroom, locking that door as well. He didn't even want to see her. He couldn't decide, for the life of him, which test to perform on her.
He was weak, he knew. Her soft eyes looked at him inquiringly. Her small smile on her moist lips. Her wet hair falling in her face. Her gentle curves under her clothes. The very sight of her weakened him. He couldn't stand the sight of her. And he was stupid enough to tell her this. Tell her? He yelled at her.
When she'd first arrived, he considered her nothing more than a nosy stranger. Now, only a few days passed, and she's become… so much more to him. He didn't mind feeling weak. Better than feeling lonely. He wanted to shield her from the world. He wanted to keep her. For his own.
Severus sat down, starting to get dizzy from pacing. He rested his elbows on his knees and folded his hands. For his own. He laughed aloud. The mere thought amused and dismayed him at the same time. He should know by know that he doesn't deserve anything like that. Like the familiarity he shared with Miss Smill. The tenderness. The friendship. Possibly love? Damn! He sighed.
And last night, when she had screamed, he ran to her room, more than alarmed. Standing in the doorway, he saw her in bed and he sneered. That surprised even him. He walked in, trying very hard to keep his face blank. When she whispered his name in her hoarse voice, he wanted to hold her tight and comfort her. Instead? He ignored her, and offered her a potion. Was he that out of touch?
She had looked horrible. Rumpled, in her dress and boots, and slightly pale. She was troubled over her dream, and he didn't bother asking her about it.
"What is your problem?"
Merlin, he asked her that. She looked, not affronted, but rather, startled. He'd even accused her of snooping in his things! Accusing her right after she'd screamed herself awake from a nightmare. Screamed! And all he managed was "Snap out of it, woman!"
Severus buried his face in his hands and groaned. She must hate him now. After that. And of course, the test. He hoped that when she woke up, she wouldn't insist on leaving immediately.
She had passed. He had never been so relieved in his entire life. He knew what he would have to do, if she had failed. He shuddered.
Tomorrow morning, after she recovered, he'd take her to London. He'd offer to buy her the things she needed. He'd be civil. He'd try to be more than that. He would try to be…human.
Severus sat there, from late evening until early morning, reflecting on his life. His school years, particularly his 7th year. It was a difficult year for him. That was the year the fates locked him into his destiny. He became what he is today. And what was that? A lonely, dark, young man with no real life to look forward to. He thought about the few years after his graduation. The deaths of his parents. His salvation. His redemption. Headmaster Dumbledore.
The huge chestnut grandfather clock in the room chimed 6 o'clock. There was a soft tap at the door. He lowered the wards guarding the door and Buttercup slipped into the room. She looked around the dark room a moment, before spotting Severus. He was sitting in the chair at one end of the room, hiding his face. Buttercup trotted over to him.
"Master!" Buttercup hopped in place, gripping the corner of her dress in one hand. "She's awake, sir!"
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When Samantha woke in the morning, her entire body felt numb. Then she realized that sensation was actually pain. Her head throbbed when she tried opening her eyes. She winced, and that hurt. Breathing hurt. Her small heart pumping made her ache. The rain drummed on the window, it echoed loudly in her ears, hurting her. She stayed in bed a long time, eyes open staring above. She concentrated on something else to keep her mind off the pain. Severus.
Samantha didn't dare to move. Not an inch. She felt paralyzed with pain. She heard the door crash open, and she winced again, in pain. Footsteps carried someone to her bed. Severus.
She looked up at him, feeling absolutely pathetic. He was looking down at her, concern wrinkling his forehead. Samantha wanted to move. She wanted to say something.
"Good morning, Miss Smill."
Ooh, the nerve. Good morning, indeed. Did he forget what happened yesterday? Samantha's body shuddered. The movement eased a bit of the pain. She needed to move. Her eyes implored with Severus to help her.
He didn't. Instead, he left. Samantha's heart sagged. She lifted her head a little off the pillow. She lifted her arm. She pushed her legs over the edge of the bed. Slowly.
By the time she was sitting on the edge of the bed, Severus returned. He entered the room, something in his hand. He closed the door behind him. He walked towards her. He sat on the bed next to her, the disturbance sending waves of pain through her still achy body. She looked down to see she was still dressed in the gray sweater and black pants. She felt sick.
Severus offered her a vial. She looked at him, what is it with the potions? But she didn't refuse it. She downed the bitter potion in one gulp and gave him the vial. She closed her eyes. Now she really felt sick. And dizzy.
Severus pushed her shoulders back, and lifted her legs back onto the bed. He moved the pillow down under her head. The blankets were buried under her, so he pulled off his robes and covered her. Samantha's eyes fluttered open, to see Severus leaning over her once again. She desperately wanted to say something, but the potions effects were creeping through her body. It loosened all her muscles, the soreness and pain slowly fading. Her mind cleared and her exhaustion awoke.
Soon, she couldn't think straight enough to even form words in her head. She closed her eyes again, curling up under the make-shift blanket. She murmured, subconsciously.
"Severus…"
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Buttercup urged Severus to eat something. He sat alone in the Dining Hall. He'd been eating alone for over 5 years now. But somehow it didn't seem right. He halfheartedly filled his plate. Though he was starving and completely exhausted, his thoughts were elsewhere. He mechanically shoveled food in his mouth. Maybe he'd take a nap. Or better yet, a potion.
When he'd finished, he walked to his health cabinet. He'd found a body relaxant for Miss Smill from this cupboard. He searched for something to relieve his fatigue and headache. He hadn't slept in two days. Better make it something strong. Finding a potion that was satisfactory, Severus swallowed it. It'd take effect soon enough.
He walked upstairs. He could feel a little more alert. The pounding in his head ceased, only a dull thudding now. He turned left and opened the door to his old room before he realized where he was going. He entered the room.
Samantha was still asleep on the bed. His black robes covering her completely. He looked at himself in his mirror. He was in his black button-up shirt and black trousers. He was barefoot. His hair was still wet. He whipped out his wand and corrected that. He smiled a little, starting to feel better. His headache had disappeared and he felt awake.
He walked to his desk. It was cluttered with parchments and books. He sat in the chair and shuffled a few of the papers. They hadn't been touched since he graduated from Hogwarts. The elves cleaned the room and magically dusted most of the things, but they didn't do his organizing for him. He made two piles; one for useful papers and the other for not-so-useful papers. He arranged the books between two bookends on the back edge of the table. He wiped his hand across the familiar wood surface and smiled.
His desk. He used to work here for hours. He'd sit and stare out the window. He'd make designs for better broom models. He'd do his Hogwarts assignments. He'd read for fun, for personal enhancement, for the sake of having something to do. He'd sat for hours drawing. A small sad smile flickered on his face. His sketches. He opened a drawer. He shuffled around, looking for a particular scrap of paper.
Severus pulled it out and closed the drawer. He smoothed the parchment out and looked at the sketch. It was torn along the left edge. And it was him. The only sketch he'd ever tried of himself. His lips pressed against…well, the edge of the parchment. A dainty hand rested on his shoulder. Another wrapped around his neck. His hair fell slightly on his face. His eyes were closed, his lashes long and dark. The emotion of the scene was clearly etched in his features.
This had once been part of a beautiful picture. It had once been a beautiful thought. That was when he had learned to dream. Then he had learned to never dream again.
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Samantha stirred from her sleep slowly, inhaling a soft clean male scent. This time the rain outside didn't hurt her. She sat up, nearly smiling. The pain was gone. Her head had cleared. She stretched luxuriously. She saw Severus sitting at his desk. He looked deep in thought. She watched him for several moments. His head was down, but he didn't look tired. She eyed his dark clothes and his bare feet.
She sighed. With her mind clear, she could assess the situation better. She had thought that she'd be furious with Severus. Even she knew that there were other options for the test. They weren't exactly pleasant, but they weren't nearly as harsh. She thought she'd be furious. That she'd want to leave. It was quite the contrary. She watched him. Not angry, just a little… captivated. Her feelings were getting in the way. A small pang in her chest made her flinch.
He heard her stir and turned to look at her. He caught her staring at him. She cleared her throat and looked down. At his black robes. She pushed them aside, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed.
"Slowly, Miss Smill. It'll be a few more hours before you'll be back to normal."
Samantha only nodded. She pushed herself off the bed, standing shakily on her two feet. Her clothes and hair were dry. Her bare feet were freezing cold. She looked down at his feet. She studied them a moment. Even they were graceful and beautiful. She forced herself to look away.
She took a few steps, trying to readjust her body. She felt a little tingle run through her body. The strange sensation occurred with every step. She drew a deep breath, steadying herself.
She walked slowly toward the fireplace. She stood close to the fire, letting it warm her small feet. She was looking down at them, studying them. They were small, but not really graceful. Another pair of feet joined hers in front of the fire. They were beautiful feet. She looked up.
Severus was standing tall in front of the fire, both of his hands leaning against the mantle in front of him, his head dropped between his extended arms. She was speechless. She felt a sharp pain inside herself. She knew what it was. It was a pang of emotion. Like when she was overwhelmed by something. She was overwhelmed by his attractiveness. Samantha smiled, as she reminded herself, you always were attracted to the dark types, weren't you?
His shirt clung to his muscles on his arms and chest. It had become untucked from his pants. Being so close to him, she was able to notice his loose trousers were made of wool. Samantha turned her head back to her ordinary feet. She was having difficulty breathing.
They stood there a while, both hesitating to bring up the day before.
"So now what?" Samantha looked up to Severus again. He turned his head, and looking down at her from over his arm, he took the sight of her in. She swallowed. She felt rather self-conscious when he looked at her like that.
"Miss Smill, I must admit that I rather expected you to be running from this house the moment you woke up." His voice was deep and husky, not his usual thick, velvety one. He let go of the mantle and lowered himself to the floor, his movements completely fluid. He sat back and bent his left knee, resting his left arm over it. The other leg stretched toward the fire. With the fingers of his right hand, he was absently drawing circles on the wood floor. His black hair draped around his face, his eyes cast down, staring at his fingers on the floor. Orange light danced over his regal form.
Instead of responding, Samantha choked back tears. She hardly heard what he said. She felt another pang. The pang from deep inside her was a lot sharper that time.
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Alright, here's the "day after" chapter. ;-) Just kidding. Anyway, this will be about the halfway point in the story. Well, maybe not the halfway, maybe the quarter-way. Not exactly sure where I'm going with this. In later chapters, we will be seeing "future-Snape" or rather, the Snape we know. Possibly Harry's 6th year.
This chapter was a little different because we're finally seeing inside Snape's head. This is a transitional chapter. I think from now on, we'll see things from both characters. It sort of represents the "opening up" of Snape. Samantha's going to start learning about him, just as we are too. I dunno, I also considered doing all the rest of the chapters from Severus' point of view, but then I realized that it's more fun describing how incredibly attractive he looks to Samantha. So…yeah. :-)
Samantha's pangs = feelings of love. She's never been in love. Neither had Severus, really. He thought he was, but he'll learn the difference.
Next chapter: when they both get over their nerves, they get ready and head out. Off to London…
