Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, don't own any of the Lord of the Rings
characters, but the original ones are mine. And this disclaimer applies to
the entire story because I'm too lazy to type it a million times (no there
aren't going to be a million chapters).
Author's note: this story is full of inconsistencies, so leave me alone!
Sauron sat (yes sat) in front of his large flat screen TV and watched the replay of the battle at Amon Hen. It appeared to him that Saruman was a complete and utter failure, seeing as the Uruks couldn't get the Ringbearer, and was now useless.
"Damn Uruk-Hai," he grumbled as he stood up and went to the kitchen for a Coke. "The whole goblin/orc thing was a good idea, but I had a feeling intelligence was not going to be a feature in them."
The door to his private study room opened. In reality, it wasn't a study- it was Sauron's private place for kicking back. But that's a different story.
The Nazgul entered. They took off their big scary cloaks and hung them on a coat rack next to the door. The Witch King of Angmar approached Sauron.
Sauron patiently waited for his right hand man to explain the situation with his Ring.
The Witch King, however, didn't seem too eager to tell the tale. He scratched the back of his head and cleared his throat. "We, um," he started, looking a bit sheepish. "We didn't get it back."
He flinched, as if waiting for the explosion that was bound to come, but looked up when it didn't.
Sauron was just standing there looking thoughtful. The Witch King looked at him, waved his hand in front of his commander's eyes, even poked him before Sauron finally focused back on the Ringwraith.
"There has to be some way to get it back from those short men. What's their weakness? They have to have a weakness." Sauron began pacing.
The Witch King sighed. "I wish I knew. It's really bad for our image to be losing to three-foot tall.things. And it's starting to look bad to the girls," he added under his breath.
Little did they know, an answer was about to present itself.
Sauron got up the next morning, put in his Tae Bo tape, and was happily sweating when he got a call on the palantir. He grumbled something about it being a bad idea to give a seeing stone to Saruman, then went to answer it. Yep, it was Saruman.
"My Lord, my orc patrollers found something wandering near the outskirts of Fangorn this morning." Saruman seemed flustered and really riled up. His long hair was tangled and he was sweating and panting.
Sauron narrowed his eyes. "What did they find?"
Author's note: this story is full of inconsistencies, so leave me alone!
Sauron sat (yes sat) in front of his large flat screen TV and watched the replay of the battle at Amon Hen. It appeared to him that Saruman was a complete and utter failure, seeing as the Uruks couldn't get the Ringbearer, and was now useless.
"Damn Uruk-Hai," he grumbled as he stood up and went to the kitchen for a Coke. "The whole goblin/orc thing was a good idea, but I had a feeling intelligence was not going to be a feature in them."
The door to his private study room opened. In reality, it wasn't a study- it was Sauron's private place for kicking back. But that's a different story.
The Nazgul entered. They took off their big scary cloaks and hung them on a coat rack next to the door. The Witch King of Angmar approached Sauron.
Sauron patiently waited for his right hand man to explain the situation with his Ring.
The Witch King, however, didn't seem too eager to tell the tale. He scratched the back of his head and cleared his throat. "We, um," he started, looking a bit sheepish. "We didn't get it back."
He flinched, as if waiting for the explosion that was bound to come, but looked up when it didn't.
Sauron was just standing there looking thoughtful. The Witch King looked at him, waved his hand in front of his commander's eyes, even poked him before Sauron finally focused back on the Ringwraith.
"There has to be some way to get it back from those short men. What's their weakness? They have to have a weakness." Sauron began pacing.
The Witch King sighed. "I wish I knew. It's really bad for our image to be losing to three-foot tall.things. And it's starting to look bad to the girls," he added under his breath.
Little did they know, an answer was about to present itself.
Sauron got up the next morning, put in his Tae Bo tape, and was happily sweating when he got a call on the palantir. He grumbled something about it being a bad idea to give a seeing stone to Saruman, then went to answer it. Yep, it was Saruman.
"My Lord, my orc patrollers found something wandering near the outskirts of Fangorn this morning." Saruman seemed flustered and really riled up. His long hair was tangled and he was sweating and panting.
Sauron narrowed his eyes. "What did they find?"
