Disclaimer: hey.guess what? I don't own Lord of the Rings!
"Faerie-meer!"
Blaire groaned and rolled over. Why the hell was Rachael up this early?
She opened her eyes and realized that it wasn't exactly early. In fact, everyone else was already up and about. She groaned again and got up, planning on going off to yell at someone about letting her sleep so late.
She first found Faramir, and by the look on his face she knew he'd heard Rachael' yell. She grinned at him and said, "Hey, Faerie-meer."
He glared at her. "I hate that name so much. And I'm going to kill her. I'm busy, what could be so important that I have to rush away from my work just to open a water jug for her?"
Blaire shrugged but followed Faramir to where Rachael and Allyn were sitting. She sat down next to Rachael and waited to see the bitch-fight that was sure to follow.
"What do you want?" Faramir growled.
Rachael smiled sweetly at him and said. "Nothing. I just wanted to see your reaction to being called Faerie-meer."
"Rachael, you've been here three weeks, and I'm sure you've called him Faerie-meer plenty of times within that time period. Why can't you just call him by his real name?" Allyn said.
Faramir squealed in joy at someone defending him and picked Allyn up. He spun her around a few times and then kissed her cheek. Then he stopped, seeming to realize what he was doing, and set her down where she'd been. His cheeks were bright red.
Allyn had a weird look on her face that plainly said, "What the hell were you thinking, picking me up and spinning me around and then kissing me you gross disgusting unwashed Ranger?"
Faramir muttered something indistinguishable and walked away, clearly embarrassed. As soon as he was out of hearing range, Rachael said, "Ow- ow!"
Allyn smacked her.
"Definitely not an elf," Blaire said.
"Oh, shove it," Allyn said.
"Where?"
"Bite me, bitch!"
"Where and how hard?"
Allyn started to say something about five times, then muttered, "Forget it," and stalked out of the cave. Rachael and Blaire burst out laughing.
"Bet she enjoyed that!" Blaire said.
"Oh yeah!"
Allyn walked out of the cave, seething in mock rage and embarrassment. She paced for a few minutes, and then was surprised to notice Faramir watching her in amusement, grinning.
"What are you grinning about?" Allyn snapped.
"Oh nothing."
"You didn't just embarrass me in there, you fool. You embarrassed yourself too."
"Yeah."
"This is when you say something like, 'No shit, Sherlock.'"
Faramir frowned at her.
"It's slang.forget it. I'll explain it another time."
"Okay."
They were quiet for a few minutes. Then Faramir walked over to Allyn, said a few "romantic" things and began snogging her.
Little did she know.Rachael and Blaire were spying. And trying their hardest not to crack up and give themselves away. They were having a lot of fun just giggling at their friend, until someone tapped their shoulders.
They jumped. Mablung and Damrod were standing behind them, very disapproving looks on their faces. "And what are we up to?" Damrod said.
"Oh shut up. You're not laughing yourself only because you answer to Faramir. So bite me, jerk," Blaire said.
Damrod looked very confused.
Blaire groaned exasperatedly and stalked off, Rachael trailing behind her. And an amused yet confused Damrod and Mablung followed them. They caught up just in time to hear Blaire say in a mock wail, "Our slang means nothing here!"
"I know!" Rachael replied. "I think we should start making up things that make no sense, just because they still wouldn't know what we're saying."
"Did you really want me to bite you?" Damrod asked as he and Mablung approached cautiously.
Blaire glared at them, but Rachael was trying to control laughter. "No, it means something completely different back home. But you can if you really want to."
"I probably taste bad, I really need a bath," Blaire stated.
"Yeah you do," Rachael muttered.
Blaire's jaw dropped and she smacked Rachael. "Ow!"
"Why.did.but.I don't get it!" Mablung said.
"What don't you get?" Blaire asked.
"Why did you just hit her? It's only normal to do that when you're trying to do the other person harm."
"Well, we don't do it because we actually mean harm. It's a way of expressing disapproval," Blaire informed him.
Mablung still looked a little confused, but shrugged. "Oh well. There are worse things."
"Like what?"
Mablung looked at Damrod for help, who held up his hands and backed away. "You got yourself into this one, my friend."
Blaire looked at Rachael. "I see you have been abusing the Rangers."
Rachael nodded energetically. "I've come up with names for all of them, except these two."
"Well we can call Damrod Dimrod because they sound so much alike. And it's funny."
"Oh, duh. But what about Mablung? He still needs a nickname."
Mablung and Damrod stared at the girls as they went through a list of names that didn't seem to fit them.but they didn't see it that way, of course.
Finally Rachael yelled, "Kitty!"
"Perfect!"
"WHAT?" Mablung roared.
"Yeah, like I like my name any better! Dimrod???" Damrod yelled.
"Okay, well you see, Dimrod makes sense, because it's a combination of dimwit and nimrod. So you get Dimrod. And it sounds like your name. So there." Blaire stuck her tongue out at him.
Rachael whispered something apparently very obscene in Blaire's ear because she smacked her very hard. Rachael whimpered.
"I don't get all the abuse. And what's with my name? And what is a kitty anyway?" Mablung said.
Rachael and Blaire stared at him. "You don't have cats in Middle Earth?" Blaire asked.
"Well yeah, but where does Kitty come in?"
"Well that's a name for a cat. And it's from Monster's Inc. too, very good movie."
Mablung just stared at her.
She shrugged and took Rachael's arm, heading back to the cave. She muttered something about it being beyond Mablung's comprehension, but he didn't catch all of it.
Damrod and Mablung looked at each other for a moment, and then Damrod said, "We'll never live this down."
Mablung shook his head. "No we won't."
Ok this is quite annoying. First of all, when I try to put three periods together like a pause, it doesn't work so it only puts one. So that's why this might look like I've got horrible grammar, which I don't. I'm taking honors English, leave me alone! Second, fanfiction likes to put things together even though I leave thirty lines of space inbetween things, so that's quite annoying. And sometimes it just doesn't want to upload my chapters! *Hyperventilates* Okay, we're cool now. Keep reading!
"Faerie-meer!"
Blaire groaned and rolled over. Why the hell was Rachael up this early?
She opened her eyes and realized that it wasn't exactly early. In fact, everyone else was already up and about. She groaned again and got up, planning on going off to yell at someone about letting her sleep so late.
She first found Faramir, and by the look on his face she knew he'd heard Rachael' yell. She grinned at him and said, "Hey, Faerie-meer."
He glared at her. "I hate that name so much. And I'm going to kill her. I'm busy, what could be so important that I have to rush away from my work just to open a water jug for her?"
Blaire shrugged but followed Faramir to where Rachael and Allyn were sitting. She sat down next to Rachael and waited to see the bitch-fight that was sure to follow.
"What do you want?" Faramir growled.
Rachael smiled sweetly at him and said. "Nothing. I just wanted to see your reaction to being called Faerie-meer."
"Rachael, you've been here three weeks, and I'm sure you've called him Faerie-meer plenty of times within that time period. Why can't you just call him by his real name?" Allyn said.
Faramir squealed in joy at someone defending him and picked Allyn up. He spun her around a few times and then kissed her cheek. Then he stopped, seeming to realize what he was doing, and set her down where she'd been. His cheeks were bright red.
Allyn had a weird look on her face that plainly said, "What the hell were you thinking, picking me up and spinning me around and then kissing me you gross disgusting unwashed Ranger?"
Faramir muttered something indistinguishable and walked away, clearly embarrassed. As soon as he was out of hearing range, Rachael said, "Ow- ow!"
Allyn smacked her.
"Definitely not an elf," Blaire said.
"Oh, shove it," Allyn said.
"Where?"
"Bite me, bitch!"
"Where and how hard?"
Allyn started to say something about five times, then muttered, "Forget it," and stalked out of the cave. Rachael and Blaire burst out laughing.
"Bet she enjoyed that!" Blaire said.
"Oh yeah!"
Allyn walked out of the cave, seething in mock rage and embarrassment. She paced for a few minutes, and then was surprised to notice Faramir watching her in amusement, grinning.
"What are you grinning about?" Allyn snapped.
"Oh nothing."
"You didn't just embarrass me in there, you fool. You embarrassed yourself too."
"Yeah."
"This is when you say something like, 'No shit, Sherlock.'"
Faramir frowned at her.
"It's slang.forget it. I'll explain it another time."
"Okay."
They were quiet for a few minutes. Then Faramir walked over to Allyn, said a few "romantic" things and began snogging her.
Little did she know.Rachael and Blaire were spying. And trying their hardest not to crack up and give themselves away. They were having a lot of fun just giggling at their friend, until someone tapped their shoulders.
They jumped. Mablung and Damrod were standing behind them, very disapproving looks on their faces. "And what are we up to?" Damrod said.
"Oh shut up. You're not laughing yourself only because you answer to Faramir. So bite me, jerk," Blaire said.
Damrod looked very confused.
Blaire groaned exasperatedly and stalked off, Rachael trailing behind her. And an amused yet confused Damrod and Mablung followed them. They caught up just in time to hear Blaire say in a mock wail, "Our slang means nothing here!"
"I know!" Rachael replied. "I think we should start making up things that make no sense, just because they still wouldn't know what we're saying."
"Did you really want me to bite you?" Damrod asked as he and Mablung approached cautiously.
Blaire glared at them, but Rachael was trying to control laughter. "No, it means something completely different back home. But you can if you really want to."
"I probably taste bad, I really need a bath," Blaire stated.
"Yeah you do," Rachael muttered.
Blaire's jaw dropped and she smacked Rachael. "Ow!"
"Why.did.but.I don't get it!" Mablung said.
"What don't you get?" Blaire asked.
"Why did you just hit her? It's only normal to do that when you're trying to do the other person harm."
"Well, we don't do it because we actually mean harm. It's a way of expressing disapproval," Blaire informed him.
Mablung still looked a little confused, but shrugged. "Oh well. There are worse things."
"Like what?"
Mablung looked at Damrod for help, who held up his hands and backed away. "You got yourself into this one, my friend."
Blaire looked at Rachael. "I see you have been abusing the Rangers."
Rachael nodded energetically. "I've come up with names for all of them, except these two."
"Well we can call Damrod Dimrod because they sound so much alike. And it's funny."
"Oh, duh. But what about Mablung? He still needs a nickname."
Mablung and Damrod stared at the girls as they went through a list of names that didn't seem to fit them.but they didn't see it that way, of course.
Finally Rachael yelled, "Kitty!"
"Perfect!"
"WHAT?" Mablung roared.
"Yeah, like I like my name any better! Dimrod???" Damrod yelled.
"Okay, well you see, Dimrod makes sense, because it's a combination of dimwit and nimrod. So you get Dimrod. And it sounds like your name. So there." Blaire stuck her tongue out at him.
Rachael whispered something apparently very obscene in Blaire's ear because she smacked her very hard. Rachael whimpered.
"I don't get all the abuse. And what's with my name? And what is a kitty anyway?" Mablung said.
Rachael and Blaire stared at him. "You don't have cats in Middle Earth?" Blaire asked.
"Well yeah, but where does Kitty come in?"
"Well that's a name for a cat. And it's from Monster's Inc. too, very good movie."
Mablung just stared at her.
She shrugged and took Rachael's arm, heading back to the cave. She muttered something about it being beyond Mablung's comprehension, but he didn't catch all of it.
Damrod and Mablung looked at each other for a moment, and then Damrod said, "We'll never live this down."
Mablung shook his head. "No we won't."
Ok this is quite annoying. First of all, when I try to put three periods together like a pause, it doesn't work so it only puts one. So that's why this might look like I've got horrible grammar, which I don't. I'm taking honors English, leave me alone! Second, fanfiction likes to put things together even though I leave thirty lines of space inbetween things, so that's quite annoying. And sometimes it just doesn't want to upload my chapters! *Hyperventilates* Okay, we're cool now. Keep reading!
