Journey to Nowhere (5/8)

Title: Journey to Nowhere - Chapter Five
Author: Lynne Facella
Rating: PG-13
Category: Drama/Angst
Email: lynne1919@aol.com
Spoilers: Through current season 4
Disclaimer: All characters are the property of John Wells and Edward Allen Bernero. I wish they were mine but unfortunately they're not.
Summary: A trip takes a deadly turn for Bosco, Faith, Sully and Ty.

Notes: As always thanks for your comments They mean so much and I'm happy you've been liking this story.

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"You feelin' better now?" Bosco asked quietly. His arm was still around Faith and her head was still resting on his shoulder. He couldn't believe how right it felt. He wished with all his heart that there could be more between them. He'd had relationships with other women, plenty of relationships, but the truth was that deep down inside, Faith had his heart. She'd had it for a very long time. It was the reason his relationships always ended. Even though Faith had Fred, it just didn't matter. There was this part of him that was reserved for Faith and only Faith...he just hoped that someday he'd actually be able to share this with her.

"Yeah...I'm better...thanks," Faith whispered, offering him a faint smile. It was so cozy being with him like this, watching the flames flickering, their shadows dancing on the sides of the shelter. She turned her head to look at him. He was so incredibly handsome. She'd always known it, but somehow now, it was just different. She found himself staring at him...his eyes...his lips...

"Somethin' wrong?" The sound of his voice surprised her and she turned her head back towards the fire, feeling the color rise in her cheeks. "No...No, nothing's wrong. I was just thinking..."

"About?"

"Nothin' in particular really...just about the situation...I just hope we get out of here is all." She had to force the thoughts she was having out of her head. He was her partner and she was married. It wasn't the best marriage in the world, but the thoughts in her head just weren't fair. They weren't fair to Fred and they definitely weren't fair to Bosco.

"We will." He spoke with a certainty he didn't feel. He knew they needed to try to stay positive. He would never admit to the others, especially Faith, just how frightened he was. He didn't want to die out here, in a world where he felt helpless and small. Sure he had certain wilderness skills that were proving useful, but it didn't make him feel much better. The streets of New York were his world.

Bosco's attention was diverted by Ty who was restlessly thrashing about underneath the blankets. "He havin' a nightmare or something?" Bosco asked nervously.

"I don't know..." Faith reluctantly moved away from Bosco and crawled over to Ty, placing her hand on his forehead. "He's definitely runnin' a fever."

"Damn."

Bosco's voice woke Sully who sat up anxiously. "What's wrong?"

"He has a fever, Sully," Faith said quietly.

"A fever? You sure?" Sully put his hand on Ty's forehead the way Faith had and he could feel the warmth emanating beneath it. "What should we do?"

"See if you can get him to take some more Tylenol and put a cool cloth on his head. Then there really isn't much we can do except keep him warm and as comfortable as possible." Her gaze met Bosco's and she saw the tortured look in his eyes. Things were just going from bad to worse.

Sully grabbed the bottle of Tylenol and some water and gently shook Ty's left arm. "Ty? Ty, it's Sully. Ty, wake up."

"Tired," Ty murmured, stubbornly keeping his eyes closed.

"Ty, come on. You need to take these pills. Then you can go back to sleep, okay?"

"Don't want to."

"Dammit! Dammit, Davis, take the damn pills!" Bosco's voice not only startled Ty, whose eyes popped open, but Sully and Faith as well.

"Bos...calm down." Faith's voice was soft as she looked back at her partner. "It's gonna be okay."

"Ty. You've got to take these, okay?" Sully held the tablets towards Ty's mouth and was relieved when his lips parted and he obediently swallowed down the pills with the water Sully offered him.

"Not...not feeling so good," Ty said shakily as he looked up at Sully. The fear he could see in Sully's eyes did nothing to reassure him.

"You'll be alright, Ty...everything's going to be alright, I promise."

"Shouldn't...shouldn't make promises you can't keep," Ty muttered as he dropped off to sleep again.

Sully stared down at the sleeping young man and swallowed hard. He could feel his emotions dangerously close to the surface and he refused to let them loose. He would not lose control here. He couldn't. He couldn't do it in front of Ty and he wouldn't do it in front of Bosco. Not that Bosco was dealing with things particularly well either. Sully knew Bosco was creeping towards the edge and he hoped that Faith would be able to reel him back in. He himself had enough to worry about with Ty. "You're going to be okay, Ty," he whispered, taking his hand and squeezing it. "You're going to be okay."

Bosco watched the scene unfolding before him with a growing sense of fear and dread. Dear God, what had he done? "I've gotta get out of here," he said, quickly getting to his feet and bolting towards the opening of the shelter.

"Sully? Are you okay for right now?" Faith asked.

Sully nodded. "Go."

Without hesitation, Faith left the shelter to go to her partner. It only took a few moments before she spotted him, standing down by the pond, staring off into the distance. She took a deep breath then slowly began to walk towards him.

"Bos?" She came up behind him and gently rested her hand against his upper arm.

He was silent at first and then spoke in a choked whisper. "Just leave me alone, Faith...Please."

"I can't...I can't leave you alone."

"Why not, Faith?" He turned towards her and she could see the tears welling in his eyes. Her thoughts went back to the night he had shown up at her apartment and cried in her arms as he confessed all he had been going through since 9-11, all the guilt and torment he had been holding inside because of what he had witnessed there.

"Don't you know, Bos? Don't you know why I can't leave you?" She lightly stroked the side of his face and her finger wiped away a lone tear that was rolling down his cheek.

He found himself staring into her eyes, his heart beating about a mile a minute as he did so. Was she saying what he thought she was saying? It's the situation, Bos, he told himself. This wasn't real life. "Faith... Faith you don't know what you're sayin'" he stammered.

"Shhhhh...." She placed her finger lightly over his lips. "No more talkin' Bos...just feel..." She wrapped her hands behind his neck and pulled him towards her as finally their lips came together. It was a deep, intoxicating kiss, a thousand times better than anything she had dreamed of in the past. She finally drew back in order to take a breath and what she saw in his eyes left her speechless in amazement. He loved her. It was there in his eyes, as clear as day.

"We can't do this, Faith," His voice was a tortured whisper as he pushed her away. With that one kiss, everything had changed. He'd known it would be good, but that...that had been incredible, beyond his wildest expectations. The woman had his heart and soul. She was everything he'd ever wanted and more, but he couldn't have her. Not now...not like this...

"Bos..." She moved towards him again, pressing her body against his as she ran her hand down his strong, muscular back. "Bos, please."

God did she know what she was doing to him? The night air was cold, but his whole body was burning with desire for her. He'd never wanted a woman as much as he wanted her right now, but he couldn't... It just wasn't right. "We can't. We have to go back..."

Dejected, Faith pulled away, trying to hide how hurt she was. She knew he wanted her as badly as she wanted him. There was no doubt in her mind.

"We need to check on Ty." His words hit her hard. Bosco was upset and here she was throwing herself at him, confusing him even more than he already was. Now a whole new can of worms had been opened up.

"Okay...let's go back.' There was a slight tremor to her voice as she started walking ahead of Bosco, back towards the shelter. What on earth was she doing? She'd always managed to keep her feelings buried, but now they were just erupting, totally out of her control. She was just so afraid...so afraid that she was going to die here having never been with the man she loved above all others.

"How is he?" Faith asked as she reentered the shelter.

"Sully pushed his hand back through his hair and looked up at Faith, his face filled with exhaustion. "There's no change...I...I don't think he's doing very well..."

Bosco heard Sully's words and retreated to the farthest corner of the shelter. He couldn't run again. He had to stay here and face what had happened...what he had done... He shivered as the realization hit him that he very likely was going to cost Davis his life.

"Sully?" Ty's voice broke the silence that had descended over them. "Sully?"

"I'm here, Ty...I'm here." Sully took Ty's hand and helplessly watched as his partner thrashed about feverishly.

"Sully? Sully, where's my dad? Don't...don't let them hurt my dad."

"Come on, Ty...everything's okay...it's okay..." Sully closed his eyes momentarily, fighting back images from the past that were suddenly overwhelming him...images that he wanted to remain buried.

"Sully? You okay?" He felt Faith's hand on his shoulder, heard her gentle voice and had to fight the overpowering urge to break down and cry in her arms.

"I'm fine..." he managed to say in a choked voice. "It's him I'm worried about."

"I know you are, Sully...We're all worried about him." Faith knew it wasn't the same though. Ty was Sully's partner and she knew if Ty were to die, Sully would be utterly devastated. She wasn't at all sure he'd be able to get past it, not so soon on the heels of his wife's death. She glanced over at her own partner and wondered if he'd be able to get past such a thing either. Then again...who knew if any of them were going to get out of this situation alive.

"Gotta...gotta...gotta find my dad," Ty gasped, breathing heavily as he spoke, his face drenched with perspiration. "Where's my dad?"

Sully grabbed for his duffle bag and frantically shuffled through it. He pulled out a t-shirt and ripped it, then wet one of the pieces in some cool water before he placed it on Ty's forehead. "You're okay, Ty. Everything's going to be okay," he soothed.

Faith watched helplessly for a few moments before she turned and went over to Bosco, dropping onto the cushion beside him. "How are you holdin' up?" she asked.

"How do you think?" Bosco asked, his eyes still on Sully and Ty. "This ain't right, Faith...it just ain't right."

"I know, Bos...we just have to pray everything will work out..."

"Like that's gonna work." He bowed his head and stared down at the ground. He didn't think he had ever gone through a day as long as this one was. He sat silently, not wanting to talk, not even knowing what to say. A short while later, Bosco's heartbeat quickened as Sully got up and came towards them.

"He's settled down...he's sleeping again." His expression was anguished as he spoke, his voice filled with pain. "I wish there was something I could do for him. He needs a doctor. He needs to be in a hospital. I keep thinking about his mom...how...I can't do this to her...I can't tell her that she's lost her son...he has to be alright...he has to be..."

"Sully, you're doing all you can for him," Faith said softly. "He knows how much you care about him."

"Caring isn't going to help if he gets much worse," Sully stated. "All the caring in the world won't matter..." He sighed heavily and walked back to where Ty was lying and resumed his place beside him.

"He's right." Bosco said quietly, his eyes still on the two men.

"I was trying to make him feel better," Faith said in a low voice.

Bosco stopped himself from saying it hadn't helped. God, what the hell was wrong with him? He felt like he was on some kind of an emotional roller coaster. He was worried sick about Davis, but then there was the kiss...Faith had kissed him and it had been fantastic...Timing was everything though and the timing was all wrong...everything was just a mess. He could feel Faith's eyes burning a hole in him and he stood up abruptly and went over to Sully. "Why don't you get some sleep," he suggested softly. "I'll sit with him."

Sully shook his head. "No...no thanks, I'm fine."

"Come on, Sully..." He's going to need you to be strong. He's sleeping now. It would be a good time for you to get some rest too. I'll wake you if anything comes up."

Sully hesitated for a few seconds, but then nodded. "Alright...thanks. Wake me if he needs me though."

"I will, man...I promise."

Sully gave a long look at his partner before he stretched out on his bed. He was physically and mentally exhausted and it didn't take long before he was softly snoring away. Relieved that Sully was at least going to get a little bit of sleep, Bosco turned his eyes towards Davis. "I hope you know I didn't mean for this to happen," he whispered. "If I could trade places with ya, I'd do it in a heartbeat."

Faith watched Bosco from where she was sitting, but made no move to go to him. She hated to see him this way, the guilt eating at him the way it was...She didn't seem to be able to help him though. Maybe, for now, it was best if she just kept her distance.

Bosco knew she was watching him. He could feel it, but he didn't dare look up to meet her eyes. Instead, he kept his attention focused on Davis, adjusting the blankets over him and resoaking the cold compress on his head. He wondered if Faith was thinking with a straight head. Maybe she was just lonely, thinking that she'd never see her husband again and that was why she'd kissed him. Maybe it was just her way of trying to comfort him, though she sure had never tried that approach in the past. Maybe she was just plain scared...He suddenly became aware that Davis' eyes were opened and focused on him. "Hey...you're awake. How ya feelin'?"

"Thirsty," Ty stated hoarsely as he licked his parched lips.

"I'll get you some water," Bosco quickly reached for a water bottle. He then gently supported Ty's head and brought the water to his lips so he could drink.

"Thanks..." Ty took a few small sips then laid his head back down. He looked up at Bosco. "So...what's going on? I guess no one has spotted us yet..."

"No...not yet...but they will," Bosco replied, trying to sound optimistic.

"Yeah..." Ty's eyes went towards Sully who was still asleep. "How's Sully doing?" he asked. "Guess he must be pretty worried."

"He's alright. You need him? He said to wake him if you did."

Ty quickly shook his head. "No...let him sleep. I'm sure he's been hovering over me..."

"Yeah well...he cares about you...he's worried...we all are..."

The automatic response to that would have been 'I'm fine' or 'everything's going to be okay.' Ty didn't even have it in him to try to keep up such pretense though. "I just want you to know that, no matter what happens, I appreciate everything you guys have done for me... and you need to know that this wasn't your fault. You need to believe that."

Bosco gnawed on his lip as he looked back at Ty. He didn't like the way that sounded, as if Ty was giving up or something. "You're going to get through this you know...all of us are..."

"Yeah...I know..." Ty nodded unenthusiastically. He had a good idea what Bosco was going through though. He didn't want to make him feel any worse than he was already feeling. Just as easy to pretend things would be fine, even though he knew they wouldn't be.

"Maybe you should try to get some sleep." Bosco just wasn't good at this. He didn't know what to say to this young officer who he had shot and who was now afraid of dying. It was easier if Davis was just sleeping and he could watch over him silently.

"Sure..." Ty replied listlessly. His eye remained open though, staring off into space. Bosco fidgeted as he watched him, praying that he'd get tired and drop back to sleep.

"You ever think about dying?" Ty's voice was very soft, almost a whisper as he asked the question and his eyes turned towards Bosco once again.

"I..." Bosco stared back at Ty, dumbfounded, for a few long moments. He now wished he had never told Sully to get some sleep. Sully would be able to deal with this better than him. Faith would be able to also. Why'd he have to ask him? "I guess so...sometimes..."

"I thought about it when I got shot, but...then I knew I'd be okay, you know? So it just went right out of my head. This though...this is really different, because we're just stuck here. That plane crashed and now here we are. We really don't know if anyone is ever going to find us..."

"They'll find us."

"Yeah well...I wish I could be as sure of that as you are...I just...I'm not."

"Come on, Davis. I never thought you were the kind of guy to just be givin' up, are you? What about Sully over there? You think anyone else is gonna put up with him for a partner?"

Ty offered a faint smile. "Sully's a good guy...tau...taught me a lot."

"And he's still got a lot more to teach you," Bosco stated. "I mean, I admit that he and I have different philosophies...but he's still a good cop."

"Better not let him hear you say that," Ty said. "He might actually think you respect him or something."

"Nah...he knows better than that," Bosco joked. Ty smiled, then fell silent. His eyes finally closed and Bosco breathed a sigh of relief as his breathing evened out and he knew that Ty had fallen asleep.

"You were good with him, Bos." Bosco looked up, startled, as he heard Faith's voice and she smiled at him.

"I didn't even know what to say." He stood up and walked around the fire to where Faith was sitting and sat down beside her. "I mean, I tried to reassure him, but..."

"You did fine... We're all scared, Bos..."

"I know...its just...I did this to him, Faith...I don't...I don't think I'd be able to take it if anything happens to him...if he..."

Faith put her arms around her partner, tightening her grip when he tried to push her away. "You didn't do this, Bos," she stated, looking intently into his eyes. "You didn't make this plane crash into the wilderness. You didn't make a ragin' bear come stormin' into our camp. You need to forgive yourself, Bos...you have to..."

He found that he wasn't even listening to her. He was just gazing at her, almost mesmerized by her eyes. "Why...why do you care so much, Faith?" he asked in a choked voice, trying like hell to hold back his emotions. "Why?"

She ran her hand back through his hair, then gently stroked his cheek. "Because you're my partner... because we've been through so much together, and..." Her voice lowered to almost a whisper as she bowed her head, finally having to look away, afraid to face him, "and because I love you..."

"You..." He shook his head, positive that he had heard her wrong. "What did you say?"

She raised her head, daring to meet his eyes again. "I said I love you, Bos...I love you."

"Bu... but, what about Fred? I...You're married, Faith..." he stammered. He wasn't sure why he was protesting. This was everything he'd ever hoped for, something he'd never really expected to happen. The woman of his dreams had just proclaimed her love for him and he was trying to talk her out of it. What the hell was wrong with him?

"I love you," she repeated, as she brushed her lips over his then deepened the kiss.

He was powerless to resist her this time, not that he wanted to, but he couldn't have even if he did. "Oh God, Faith," he moaned as he kissed her back ravenously, pressing her body against his. He quickly glanced towards Ty and Sully, ensuring they were still asleep, and then he laid down, pulling her down on top of him. "I love you too," he said softly as he slowly began to unbutton her shirt. "I love you too, Faith."

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A low-pitched moan brought Sully out of his sleep. As he opened his eyes, his first thought was of Ty. He immediately looked over at him and was relieved to see that his young partner was peacefully sleeping. He glanced over across the campfire and his eyes widened as he comprehended what was going on. They were underneath blankets, but it was very obvious what was happening between Bosco and Faith. Oh man...He'd known they were close. He admitted he'd sometimes had suspicions, but...he hadn't really thought anything was going on between them. He suddenly felt extraordinarily self-conscious and wished he had stayed asleep. As carefully and quietly as possible, he shifted onto his side so that he was facing Ty. He really hoped that Bosco's locker room tales of being a sex god were highly exaggerated or he was going to be in for a really long night...

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