~*~... Heaven Knows ...~*~

by: say-chan

~*~... silent assassin ...~*~

pairing: Koshino / Kourin

genre: hopefully a tearjerker, angst

inspiration: Daijoubu from Boys Be, I Wish & Inoru Aishiteru from Fushigi Yuugi, Carry On from Hunter X Hunter (OAV) and Scarlet from Ayashi no Ceres

Spoiler: This is so crappy. I mean it.

Synopses: Fame, fortune, glory. One thing a geek like her could never have. But why is the world so cruel to her? Why are her loved ones so hard to reach? But it was proved wrong... Everything changed.**Kourin: Is fate playing with my destiny? Or is my destiny supposed to be ruined by fate?**

Disclaimer: Slam Dunk belongs to Takehito Inoue and those songs above belong to their respective animes.
~*~... Epilogue - Truth beneath all Lies ...~*~


**Koshino**

I was happy. And so was she. She made me who I am now. And I made her happy. Those days when we were together... They never lasted. All those happy moments... They all --- disappeared in my memory that day. We loved each other. But as God had planned, it didn't last. What was once up must come down, right? But why? Why did this have to happen to me? To my Kourin? I admit, she was truly heaven-sent. But why her?

Our love was strong. Strong as it could ever be. Nothing could even stop it from happening. Yet--- it couldn't survive. Or could it? I know I haven't been a good friend to her. Everything was just so busy with basketball practices along the way. But I did find time for her. I had time allotted just for HER. But then... I don't know if it was enough for her. Maybe I wasn't caring for her. Maybe I wasn't so thoughtful to her. Maybe I just didn't give that much attention to her. Maybe I didn't give much effort in protecting her.

Perhaps God saw this. But why did she have to suffer instead of me? I didn't protect her. But why? It's so unreasonable that she has to face all those consequences just for me. She had lived a very painful life and I knew it. But why? Is it because I didn't have the courage to tell her how I feel? I didn't let her know. That's why--- she believed that I never liked her at all. Uso! It's all lies! I loved her. I loved Kourin. That's why--- she never became mine. That's why I lost the girl I loved. Because I lied.

I lost her. I lost Kourin.

~*~ Flashback ~*~

'Hiro-kun, hayaku ne!' her voice was still ringing in my head as I remembered that fateful day. Her smile glowed to the light of the sun. The smile I never saw before. Those past few years were a burden to her. But she was still smiling. There was no doubt about it. I was the cause of her happiness. We crossed the street, Kourin was running right in front of me. She stopped at the middle of the road to wait for me. 'Hai, hai, itooshi.' I said with a smile. 'Itooshi? Hiro-kun... Wakarimasen desu ne...'

I was about to tell her about what I said but words were stuck in my throat like they never want to let Kourin hear what I have to say. I loved her. I loved Kourin. But unknown to us, something was bound to happen. And it wasn't good. Was fate supposed to be this cruel to us?

Her scream echoed throughout my head, pounding my eardrums into pieces. The beeping sound of a rushing car was smashing my heart into bits that I can't even feel. Blood. Crimson blood was in my hands as I held her. I picked her up and dashed he to the nearest hospital.

'What do you mean she can't make it?' I asked the doctor, gripping his white coat with my scarlet hands, tears spilling from my eyes. 'She lost too much blood. She is in the state of coma and I don't think she can make it through.' 'What? And you can't do anything about it?!'

There was no use talking to that stupid doctor about it. The moon shone through a crack on the window and the rays fell on her pale face. I couldn't help but cry. She meant so much to me like I meant that much to her, more than much. I love her. 'I love you, Kourin.'

She stirred from the motionless state I found her. 'Hiro-kun' she whispered on that dark night. I gripped her hand tight. 'Kourin, I don't want to lose you.' 'Honto? I heard the doctors say that I wouldn't live long.' 'Why would you believe those d'ahos? You know You're gonna live.' 'Hiro...' 'Hai?' 'I want you to know that I appreciate what you've given to me. Arigato ne.' 'Iie. I'm the one who's supposed to thank my megami-sama for bringing what I've always wanted. 'Nanda kora?' 'You.'

I never took his eyes off her as I leaned forward. She wrapped her arms around my neck, giving in to my temptation and closing jade green eyes. And with that I leaned forward as our lips met. I heard her contented sigh as I plunged deeper into the kiss. My tongue glided onto her mouth tasting every sweetness inside of her. Draining every drop of satisfaction in her.

I pulled away from her but I saw those brilliant green eyes filled with tears. She clutched my hand with a tight grip. 'Koshino, when I die, promise me you won't cry.' 'Kourin? Please stop saying those-' 'I'll never forget you, Koshino. I'll always look after you, I'll always be there.' she wiped her tears away but another round replaced them. 'Kourin? What are you saying? Kourin?!' 'Koshino-kun, I'll never ever forget you-' I hugged her tight. Her words were too deep and I couldn't take it anymore. Her eyes that once gave a cheerful gleam to me, were weak and vulnerable. Was I the cause of her sadness?

'Stop it. Yamette kudasai.' I whispered in her ear. She buried her face on my chest. Then I heard her whisper. 'I love you Koshino. Thank-' Her sentence was cut. I pulled her away from me. Her eyelids were closed and she was smiling peacefully. 'Iie, Kourin, chigaru...' I shook her body but it was left motionless. My whole body shivered as I looked down at her. 'Kourin, don't leave me... Don't leave me! Aishiteru!!! Kourin!!!' I shouted as hospital interns entered the ward and pulled me away from her. 'Kourin... Don't leave me...' I whispered to myself.

~*~ End Flashback ~*~

Tears fell from my eyes like the droplets of rain spilling on the umbrella I was holding. I was staring at her tombstone with a hopeless look on my face. Why? Why did she had to leave me? This is all wrong. I had to see red smiling face again. But I had to get it over with. It's been 3 months since she died. But how can I even forget an angel that touched my heart. Why didn't I die instead of her? Why did it have to be Kourin?

AT that time, I felt the loneliness she was feeling years before. I felt it and it hit me straight in the heart. Like it was tearing it to pieces. I didn't know she felt this much pain in her past life. Why? Why did she have to experience it? Why is fate playing with her destiny? Why? Why did she die instead of me?!

All my questions were answered as a gust of strong wind rusted through the trees. My umbrella was blown away with this breeze but I didn't run away and get it. Because there was someone in front of me. It was her. It was Kourin.

I rushed to her and stopped inches right before her face. 'Kourin, I---' Her cold lips touched mine that sent some strong feeling that was tingling in my spine. I heard her voice. 'Hiro-kun, I've missed you so much. As much as I want to bring you with me, I can't. It just isn't your time yet. Pain and suffering. That's not all I felt. Because I had you. As you said, you just have to open your heart. Realize what's on your surroundings. Because the most likely person will come by and touch your life. Like you did to mine.'

I didn't hesitate no longer. I had to let her know what I feel. 'Kourin, I love you.' Those words I said made great impact to her as she hugged me tight. A bright light shone behind her as she moved farther and farther away from me. 'I know, Hiro-kun. I'll see you soon...'

That was my last dream. All just a dream. But I did not regret it. Because after a few hours, I was standing right in front of those white gates of heaven. They opened and a blinding light shone upon me. I saw people with white clothes on, robes of silk and belts of golden rope.

I stepped inside. It felt so warm. So, it was heaven. I saw Kourin standing in front of her smiling father and of course, her oji-chan. I ran to her direction and hugged her tight.

Again, there was something that blinded us with a golden silvery light that came from above. God was standing right in front of us with a smile.

'It's not pain and suffering that you find in your life. Those colors of black, white and gray will soon give in to the real colors of what you call life. Pain is just the beginning. For what I planned for you is far more colorful and magnificent than you can ever imagine.'

It was then I understood. It was all planned before us. Now I know why. And I know Kourin did, too. With her smile I end my life.
A/N: Okay, who let my sensitive side flow out to Kourin? Aww... Yeah, It's me. My soft and sentimental side. Thanks to some of the people I just couldn't mention... I had really big problems and I'm glad it's fixed. So, I hope you like this. I vented it all out in Kourin. Well, it's still a happy ending. Thanks for the support. I'll make a sad ending soon. I'm sorry for being so crappy. If you hate me, flame me. Please review. Hahahaha! Say-chan's back in the biz! Summer here I come! Hehe. tnx to joy, chinaeyes, azure, raven, twin ah baztah TO ALL!!! THANX!! MUAH!! -say =p