Summary/Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
*****
Chapter 9
Spike couldn't believe he'd said that he loved her. It wasn't the thought of loving her that he was bothered about, that wasn't anything new. It was the fact that in the past, telling someone he loved them had never ended well.
Cecily was the one that stuck in his mind most, but mainly only because that night ended with him being a vampire. She wasn't the first, just the last.
After all, who wants to be with a bloody awful poet?
He finally tore his gaze away from his shoes to glance at Buffy. He instantly wished he hadn't. She looked about as shocked at his declaration as he had been, but that didn't surprise him. After all, it wasn't every day a former mortal enemy professes their love for you.
What made him wish he hadn't looked were the tears that were in her eyes.
'Bloody hell, just the thought of me loving her makes her want to cry.' He was certain now that he'd blown it and he made the decision to get out of there before she got the chance to break his heart even more.
Before Buffy knew what was happening he was out the door.
*****
"God I love you."
To say Buffy was shocked was an understatement. When Angel had vamped out after their first kiss she was shocked. When Merrick had shown her that vampires were real and she was some sort of superhero, she was shocked. This had those situations beat hands down.
'Spike loves me, he really said he loves me.' That meant that he wasn't with her just for the sex. Relief and happiness washed over her. If Spike loved her then she could release all the feelings towards him that she had been bottling up since they left Sunnydale.
'Spike loves me. I love Spike.' The thought caused tears of happiness to well up in her eyes. Suddenly Spike's expression changed from shocked to hurt and he ran out of the room. Buffy didn't know why he was running but she didn't care as she followed him.
*****
Buffy realised that she really shouldn't be surprised at where she found Spike. In the hotel bar. He had a beer in front of him but it looked like he hadn't touched it, after all, it wasn't like he'd had that much time, it only took her ten minutes to find him.
He cautiously approached him, afraid that he'd run again before she found out what was wrong. When she was just a few feet from him she could hear him talking to himself. She decided that she would probably get more information from listening in than she would if she just asked him so she kept quiet.
"Bloody stupid prat, tellin' her you love her, like that's what she wants to hear from me. Not like she'd ever feel anything for me, just like the others, now I've gone and messed up what we already had. She'll probably be on the next flight back to California, better being on the Hellmouth than being here with me."
Spike's words caused fresh tears to fall from Buffy's eyes. He ran because he thought she wouldn't want him? She didn't know what he meant by 'the others' but it didn't take a genius to realise that Spike had had some bad experiences telling women he loved them. She knew that the other women were probably long dead but she wished she could find them and beat the crap out of them for hurting him. Deciding it was time she made her presence known she stepped up to his table and sat down opposite him.
"Don't you think you should let me decide where I'd rather be?" Spike's head shot up at the sound of her voice. "And while you're at it, shouldn't you have stuck around to listen to what I may have had to say?"
"No point luv, heard it all before." Buffy leaned back in her chair.
"Well then why don't you tell me what would have been said."
"Well we did the bit where I tell you that I love you, then there was the shock, then the tears. All that's left is the bit where you tell me you're disgusted with me and we never talk again."
'So that's what happened to him,' Buffy thought. Without saying anything she got up and walked around the table and sat down in Spike's lap.
"You still haven't asked where I'd rather be."
"Where?" her hand came up to cup his cheek and she looked him strait in the eye.
"Nowhere else but here. I love you too Spike." With that she leant forward and slowly but passionately kissed him. Pulling back she smiled up at him.
"Now come on, you can't give me a dress like this and not take me out."
TBC
AN: As promised, it's the New Year and I'm back. Hopefully I still have some readers after the long absence!
Updates should be back to 2/3 chapters a week.
Al reviews are read and appreciated!
*****
Chapter 9
Spike couldn't believe he'd said that he loved her. It wasn't the thought of loving her that he was bothered about, that wasn't anything new. It was the fact that in the past, telling someone he loved them had never ended well.
Cecily was the one that stuck in his mind most, but mainly only because that night ended with him being a vampire. She wasn't the first, just the last.
After all, who wants to be with a bloody awful poet?
He finally tore his gaze away from his shoes to glance at Buffy. He instantly wished he hadn't. She looked about as shocked at his declaration as he had been, but that didn't surprise him. After all, it wasn't every day a former mortal enemy professes their love for you.
What made him wish he hadn't looked were the tears that were in her eyes.
'Bloody hell, just the thought of me loving her makes her want to cry.' He was certain now that he'd blown it and he made the decision to get out of there before she got the chance to break his heart even more.
Before Buffy knew what was happening he was out the door.
*****
"God I love you."
To say Buffy was shocked was an understatement. When Angel had vamped out after their first kiss she was shocked. When Merrick had shown her that vampires were real and she was some sort of superhero, she was shocked. This had those situations beat hands down.
'Spike loves me, he really said he loves me.' That meant that he wasn't with her just for the sex. Relief and happiness washed over her. If Spike loved her then she could release all the feelings towards him that she had been bottling up since they left Sunnydale.
'Spike loves me. I love Spike.' The thought caused tears of happiness to well up in her eyes. Suddenly Spike's expression changed from shocked to hurt and he ran out of the room. Buffy didn't know why he was running but she didn't care as she followed him.
*****
Buffy realised that she really shouldn't be surprised at where she found Spike. In the hotel bar. He had a beer in front of him but it looked like he hadn't touched it, after all, it wasn't like he'd had that much time, it only took her ten minutes to find him.
He cautiously approached him, afraid that he'd run again before she found out what was wrong. When she was just a few feet from him she could hear him talking to himself. She decided that she would probably get more information from listening in than she would if she just asked him so she kept quiet.
"Bloody stupid prat, tellin' her you love her, like that's what she wants to hear from me. Not like she'd ever feel anything for me, just like the others, now I've gone and messed up what we already had. She'll probably be on the next flight back to California, better being on the Hellmouth than being here with me."
Spike's words caused fresh tears to fall from Buffy's eyes. He ran because he thought she wouldn't want him? She didn't know what he meant by 'the others' but it didn't take a genius to realise that Spike had had some bad experiences telling women he loved them. She knew that the other women were probably long dead but she wished she could find them and beat the crap out of them for hurting him. Deciding it was time she made her presence known she stepped up to his table and sat down opposite him.
"Don't you think you should let me decide where I'd rather be?" Spike's head shot up at the sound of her voice. "And while you're at it, shouldn't you have stuck around to listen to what I may have had to say?"
"No point luv, heard it all before." Buffy leaned back in her chair.
"Well then why don't you tell me what would have been said."
"Well we did the bit where I tell you that I love you, then there was the shock, then the tears. All that's left is the bit where you tell me you're disgusted with me and we never talk again."
'So that's what happened to him,' Buffy thought. Without saying anything she got up and walked around the table and sat down in Spike's lap.
"You still haven't asked where I'd rather be."
"Where?" her hand came up to cup his cheek and she looked him strait in the eye.
"Nowhere else but here. I love you too Spike." With that she leant forward and slowly but passionately kissed him. Pulling back she smiled up at him.
"Now come on, you can't give me a dress like this and not take me out."
TBC
AN: As promised, it's the New Year and I'm back. Hopefully I still have some readers after the long absence!
Updates should be back to 2/3 chapters a week.
Al reviews are read and appreciated!
