A/N: The italicized word R flashbacks BTW. W/ that said onto the next chapter.

Chapter 4

Akira ran to Rukawa, "Kaede! Kaede are you ok! Answer me!"

"He's dead."

He looked up at me tears streaming down his face, "Why, Kosh? Why did you do it?"

"I had not choice. He was going to turn you in," I stated, "he doesn't love you. At least, not after he remembers the truth."

Akira remained silent as he looked at Rukawa.

I went beside him and said, "Go home and rest. I'll take care of everything. You should hand me your shirt. It's got his blood on it. I'll help you get rid of it. If anyone ask we'll use the same alibi, ok? I'll phone you tomorrow."

He got up and wiped his tears away, with the back of his hand.

"Akira?"

He glance at Rukawa and took off his shirt, handing it to me.

"Go home and try to sleep, alright?"

He didn't reply me as he walked away completely detached. But I believe he'll be ok. I looked at Rukawa's body and began clearing the ground of any prints.

We were watching TV when the news about Sakuragi and Rukawa came on.

"This is horrible. Who would so such a thing?" I wondered aloud.

"Me," he said listlessly.

"What?" I cried, "you got to be kidding me!"

"No."

"Why!" I screamed.

"He stole Kaede away from me…"

"Did you tell anyone else?"

"No…but I should go tell the police. What if they think Kaede did it?" he said nervously.

'This is what he's worried about! This is what's going through his head!' I thought bewildered, "you can't be serious!"

He got up, "I can't let Kaede take the blame. I can't let them-"

I slapped him, "Wake up! Do you even know how serious this is! You're not going anywhere. You're going to pretend you know nothing! Rukawa won't be framed. They don't have the murder weapon for one thing and after a shot is fired, gunpowder is left on the shooter's clothes. They'll find none on Rukawa's clothes. They don't have any evidence to suspect or nail him. Do you still have the gun?"

'What the hell is he thinking? Why is he so damn obsess with Rukawa! He's not going to jail. I won't let that happen.'

I burnt Akira's clothes, 'You should've been dead a long time ago. You can't blame me. If you would have realized how lucky you were…to have Akira's love…why didn't you treasure it? If it was me…'

I shook my head, 'He saved you once you know.'

I was at the hospital, in Rukawa's room. I looked at his sleeping form and tightened my grip on the handle of the knife, 'It's either you or Akira. I'm sorry.'

"Kosh what are you doing!"

"What does it look like I'm doing? According to you, he knows and saw everything. If he wakes up, you're doomed. We have to kill him too."

"No! I won't let you harm him. I…I love him. I hope…he wakes up soon."

The sound of my radio alarm woke me up. I looked at the time, 'I should phone Akira. I hope he's doing ok.'

From the radio came the news, "Last night 17 year old Sendoh Akira turned himself in, claiming he was responsible for the murder of 16 year old Sakuragi Hanamichi and…"

'Akira! He what?'

I went to see him.

The baka actually came out smiling, "Ohayou, Kosh."

"What the hell are you thinking! You idiot! Why!"

"Because I killed him," he stated quietly.

"Him? Why did you choose to admit it now? Sakuragi died more than a month ago. They never would've found you."

"Not Sakuragi. Kaede."

"Rukawa! You didn't-"

"I did," Akira said, "had I not kill Sakuragi you wouldn't have to kill Kaede."

"Akira," I said trying to sound patient, "do you not understand? It is not your fault he's dead. It's my fault, it's his own fault but not yours. Why is Rukawa the only one on your mind? Do you know there are other people in this world? Other people that care about you?"

"I know Kosh," he said softly, "that's why I don't blame you. You did what you did to protect me. I did what I did out of jealousy. Your actions were more noble than mine."

"There's something I want to know."

"What?" he asked.

"Do you think it's worth it? Doing to jail for the rest of your life for someone that doesn't love you? For someone who was going to hand you over to the police for another guy? I don't mean at this moment, but do you think you'll regret it in 3, 5, 10 years from now? Can you stand by your decision without regret?"

He smiled softly, "Yes. Because he's the only one I love, the only one I'll ever love. Since the moment I killed Sakuragi I expected to go to jail. I killed him at that moment because I truly hated him and because I can't stand the sight of them together. If you ask me whether I regret that night I can tell you, yes. I regret it because it inadvertently led to Kaede's death. But at the same time…I know this is selfish but I don't regret killing him. Because had I not kill him, Kaede and I never would have gotten together. I can't take back what I've done, but I can control what I'm going to do. I won't regret admitting to the murder because those 26 days were the happiest time of my life. Those memories are enough to sustain me for a lifetime. Especially knowing that at one time Kaede did truly love me. Where I am does not matter anymore. Now that Kaede's gone, it's all the same. And anyways this is where Kaede thought I should be, where he wanted me to be. I should pay for my sins. For killing him."

Tears spilled down my cheeks. I knew he meant everything he said. He won't regret it, he's happy here. But do I regret it? Do I regret following him to the stream, after I heard him received that phone call? I expected the worst right away. I brought the gun with me and I didn't hesitate in pulling the trigger. Because I believe I was doing what was best for the person I love. Do I regret it? Killing Rukawa?

"Kosh, I'm so sor-"

"Don't say it," I said getting up to leave.

T.B.C