=Disclaimer= I do not own any of the characters from Rurouni Kenshin.
** Hope this is slightly better than the original posted chapter. I tried to go more into Kenshin's thoughts. Gomenasai minna-san if this is still not good. It's just very difficult to go back and revise when your mind isn't fully involved. **
----------------------------- Chapter 7 Revised ---------------------------- -
Smile. You can do it.
Somehow Kaoru finally managed to muster up the courage to smile as Tae and Tsubame helped to arrange her hair. The smile was shaky, but genuine.
"I can't believe you're finally getting married, Kaoru!" Tae squealed in excitement, and then frowned slightly. "Although I always thought you'd end up with Himura-san." The young woman smiled again, shrugging. "Well it doesn't matter, as long as you're finally getting married and Yamada-san is such a wonderful man!" Tsubame blushed lightly at the ongoing chatter as she carefully brushed Kaoru's hair.
I'm happy . . . I'm happy . . . Kaoru chanted mentally then sighed in resignation. But I'd be happier with Kenshin! Mou! Why couldn't he have been selfish and not give up so easily? At the reminder that her beloved rurouni was probably gone for good, Kaoru felt tears beginning to prick at her eyes. I can't cry. I won't. This is supposed to be a happy day for me. After today, I will devote my love to Tatsuha. He at least deserves that much. The image of the dark haired handsome young man brought a slight smile to her face. The young bride was so lost in her in own thoughts that she didn't realize her friends had finished fixing her hair. A loud squeal snapped her back to reality and Kaoru saw her close friend, Misao, jumping up and down, hands clasped together with a bright smile on her pretty face.
"Oh Kaoru! You look amazing!!!" The genki ninja wailed, her bright eyes sparkling in admiration.
"Well whoever thought that tanuki-chan could look so feminine?" Another voice interrupted, earning a glare. Kaoru's eye twitched as she shot Megumi a death glare but softened at the teasing smile that played on the older woman's lips.
"Iie . . . I'm still a tanuki."
"You're wrong Kaoru." Megumi smiled fondly, turning her towards the full length mirror propped up against the wall. Kaoru blinked several times as she gazed at her own reflection. Was that her? This young woman . . . this pretty young woman about to get married . . . it couldn't be. Kamiya Kaoru was a messy tomboy . . .
"Megumi-san is right! You look like a princess, Kaoru-san!" came the shy whisper from Tsubame.
"And you've got a handsome prince waiting outside!" Tae added as she touched up Kaoru's appearance. Kaoru smiled sadly at Tae's words. She had a prince alright . . .
"The wrong one . . . " Kaoru whispered to herself as she stared off blankly into space, thinking no one had heard her. Megumi felt a tug of sorrow in her heart, seeing the flicker of sadness cross the young woman's dark blue eyes momentarily before being replaced by somewhat of a forced cheerfulness. Oh tanuki . . . we tried . . . Kenshin's just too thickheaded . . .
They had agreed to keep the marital ceremony small and simple with mainly Kaoru's close friends in attendance. Afterwards, the newly married couple would join their friends at the Akabeko to have a celebration dinner, courtesy of Tae.
Kaoru suddenly found herself beginning to get nervous, fighting hard against the tightening sensation in her chest. Megumi caught the look of panic on her face and quickly ushered the other females out of the room before tending to the panic stricken bride. "Kaoru, take a deep breathe." The doctor instructed firmly as she grabbed a hold of the young woman's arm. "Kaoru, snap out of it!"
"I'm so scared, Megumi." Came the shrill reply as soon as Kaoru was able to breathe properly again.
"Pre-wedding jitters, neh? Everyone has them, tanuki."
"Iie . . . I'm afraid that if I marry Tatsuha, I wouldn't be able to love him the way he'd want me to and he doesn't deserve that!"
"Get a hold of yourself. It's obvious you care for Yamada-san, Kaoru . . . it's rare that you can find another person to care for so deeply twice in a lifetime . . . forget him . . . he's gone." Megumi stated curtly, then gently dabbed at the single tear that escaped Kaoru's eyes, careful not to smudge the makeup that Tae had worked so hard on. "Come on, Kaoru. Where's that strong independent tanuki we all know?" Kenshin, you idiot . . . if only you could see the pain you're putting her in . . . you thought that by leaving, you'd spare her the misery when in fact it has only cost her more pain, Megumi fumed silently. "Kaoru, do you really not want to go through with this? It's not too late to back out."
Kaoru gazed at her friend silently then towards the door where she knew her groom was waiting. The thought of fleeing crossed her mind, but that would mean hurting Tatsuha, and she wasn't about to do the same thing to him as Kenshin had done to her. No, she wasn't going to run away. Time to face harsh facts of reality . . . Kenshin wasn't going to return and it was her one last shot at living a life she knew her parents would've wanted for her. Here was a man who accepted her for who she was and for her distinct beliefs . . . Megumi was right, it was rare to be able to find another man who would care for her despite her lack of womanly abilities, as Kenshin had.
It was just that . . . oh Kenshin, you couldn't even say goodbye . . .
"I'm ready . . . " Kaoru stated in a determined voice. Megumi quickly fixed up the young woman's attire before heading towards the door. Stopping in midstride as Kaoru's meek voice reached her. "Megumi? Are you sure I look ok?" The doctor smiled.
"You look beautiful . . . even for a tanuki." Kaoru laughed and followed her friend to the door to greet her soon to be husband.
Kenshin watched from his spot in the shadows, remembering his previous conversation with Sanosuke. Just one last glimpse and he would go. That he would.
A hand fell on his shoulder yet it didn't come as a surprise to the rurouni who had sensed the familiar presence approach. "I knew you'd show up."
"I just wanted to see her." She'd never forgive me if I weren't present for one of the most memorable events of her life. I couldn't forgive myself either . . . but would I be able to handle it? Could I withstand the pain of seeing her in the arms of another man? I've caused her so much pain and this young man could give her everything that I can't. Kenshin cringed. I will not be jealous. I have no right to be. That I do not. As soon as I see her, I will leave at least knowing that she is in good hands. But if I stayed, then I wouldn't have to worry about Kaoru's safety. No, she doesn't need me hanging around. What if Yamada-san dared to lay a hand on her? He wouldn't. There was no danger to his ki. Maybe he's good at suppressing his ki. No! No no no! Maa maa! The rurouni sighed as the opposing voices continued to argue in his head.
Sanosuke watched silently as the older man seemed to be inwardly arguing with himself. The groom took his place on the porch, looking nervous yet happy. A few minutes later, the shoji door slid open and Megumi walked out, nodding at Tatsuha. She stepped aside and disappeared around the corner, leaving the young man alone. A timid figure soon appeared in the doorway, leaving all three men (as soon as Kenshin stopped arguing with himself and took notice of Kaoru's presence) completely breathless.
While Kenshin tried to settle a compromise with his noisy conscience, the sound of a shoji door opening caught his attention. Looking up, the picture that met his view left his throat dry and constricted. Even the voices trailed off into completely an awed silence.
A silk white kimono with silver intricate designs fitted her like a second skin, clinging to her feminine curves. Tae and Tsubame had left Kaoru's hair down, the soft raven tresses cascading like a waterfall around her slim shoulders. Tiny white roses carefully woven into the crown of her hair like a tiara. Wide blue eyes flashed with amusement even as a light pink flush tinted her cheeks in shyness.
"Kirei!" Sanosuke muttered. "Who would've thought Jou-chan was such a babe!" The young man exclaimed teasingly, nudging the speechless man beside him. His Kaoru. This beautiful vision of an angel could've been his to claim. "It's still not too late, Kenshin."
"Kaoru." Was the only word that Kenshin managed to whisper as he continued to gaze at her in wonder. A slight frown marred his features as he witnessed the intimate interaction between the young couple.
The young bride stood there in uncertainty, glancing at Tatsuha in a painfully shy manner. She wasn't used to being presented to him in this attire. The look on his face told her how surprised he was at her appearance. Was that a good thing or a bad thing? Tatsuha gazed at his wife to be appreciatively. He had always thought she was pretty, but ethereally beautiful was more of the politically correct term to describe her at the moment. The fidgeting gave away how uncomfortable she was and he stepped forward, taking her hand in his. "Kaoru-chan, you look gorgeous." At the compliment, Kaoru blushed but she took a step back and looked at him before smiling.
"Arigatou Ta-chan. You look very handsome as well." She closed her eyes as he kissed her softly before noting the look on her face. Kaoru saw the questioning look in his eyes but only smiled. "I'm nervous."
Just then, a gentle breeze seemed to pick up. One word, a simple whisper reached Kaoru's ear. Her name.
Kaoru.
She'd recognize that voice anywhere.
Kenshin watched as Kaoru's head snapped up and whipped around towards his direction. He had to steady himself as azure met violet and for a moment he thought she had spotted him, but the quick darting of her eyes informed him that she had not pinpointed his exact location.
Those eyes . . . belied a depth of sadness . . . seemingly pleading and beckoning to him.
She knew he was there, skillfully hidden and watching. Turning towards her groom, Kaoru smiled assuringly. "Give me a moment." Careful not to ruin the beautiful kimono, Kaoru stepped off the porch and slowly made her way towards the group of trees. Kenshin hid deeper into the shadows and blocked off his ki. To his relief,
"Sano? What are you doing back here?"
"Hey Jou-chan! Just checking out some birds . . . the red herrings are out you know." He winked as he hugged her, planting a brotherly kiss on her forehead. "You look great by the way. Don't keep us waiting too long!" Sanosuke called over his shoulder as he sauntered off. Kenshin's eyes narrowed at the retreating figure before widening in surprise.
"Kenshin?" Kaoru paused, taking a deep breath while looking around curiously. She wasn't going to cry, not anymore. A faint smile crossed her lips as she caught scent of the familiar musky scent that belonged solely to him. He really was here. Well at least she could say goodbye now. "Arigatou for coming today. It means a lot to me." Don't cry, Kamiya, she reprimanded herself, swallowing the lump that was forming in her throat.
"I guess this is the final goodbye . . . I hope you fare well on your journey . . . and I hope that you don't ever forget me or any of the others. You'll always be welcome back here, so do stop by and visit if you're ever in the area." Kaoru scanned the trees again, hesitating but then finally gave up. "Sayonara . . . aishiteru, Kenshin."
He watched as his beloved began walking away, her words echoing in his head. Without thinking, Kenshin stepped out into view. "Kaoru."
She stopped in midstride and turned back towards him, frozen in place, watching as he walked towards her in a cautious manner. "You're here." Was her reply.
"Gomenasai." Kenshin touched her cheek tenderly, gazing into her wonderful blue eyes, then stopped in disbelief. Her eyes were sparkling with joy. Because of him? ". . . If there's one thing I do know, it's that you're her heart and soul." The parting words of his young friend drifted into his mind as he continued to look at her in disbelief.
"Kirei. You look like a goddess, Kaoru." A faint blush reappeared, tingeing her delicate cheekbones. The desire to throw her arms around him and never let go, to kiss him endlessly, -no, it wasn't going to happen. She wasn't going to hurt Tatsuha like that. At the sudden reminder of her soon to be husband, Kaoru spun out of Kenshin's reach and turned to see her fiancé standing alone. He was still patiently waiting where she had left him. Decision made, Kaoru turned back to the rurouni and hugged him.
"I have to go. Just know you'll always have a place in my heart . . . " She brushed her lips lightly over his cheek and began walking back towards the porch. However, she didn't turn quickly enough to hide the hurt in her eyes. Kenshin stared after her dumbly.
It was true. Only he could take her pain away.
"Kaoru! Matte!" The young woman had just walked up the steps and joined Tatsuha. The couple turned to see the red-haired man running over. A slight flutter stirred in Kaoru's heart but she ignored it.
"Kenshin?" He turned, regarding the groom and bowed his head slightly before meeting his gaze.
"Gomenasai Yamada-san, demo I cannot allow Kaoru to marry you." Kaoru's mouth dropped open in disbelief as Kenshin's words reached her ears.
"Soudeska?" Was that a glimmer of amusement in the younger man's eyes? Kenshin gazed at him curiously before being interrupted by an angry Kaoru.
"Kenshin, what are you doing?!" She exclaimed, trying to ignore the increasing flutters deep inside of her chest. Her knees almost gave way as Kenshin turned to look at her, determination obvious in his expression.
"You can't marry him." Those words, stated so calmly, caused a variety of emotions to surface before settling on both joy and anger. I cannot let you go through with this, koishii. Not while I'm still here, not while I'm still alive. Your heart belongs to me as mine belongs solely to you. We both know it.
"Nani?!"
"I can't allow you to marry him." Kaoru began to seethe, her fists clenching in mock fury. If you think you're going to mess with me again, you've got another thought coming buster! Kenshin or not, I will send you on a one way trip to the Americas, she thought, silently fuming. The rurouni picked up on the unstable ki and tried to intervene before the young woman's anger erupted on him.
"Maa maa, Kaoru . . ." With a glance at Tatsuha, Kenshin took his infuriated angel by the shoulders and forced her to look at him. I'd better make this quick or Kaoru will have my head. Ok Himura . . . do it now or else you'll lose your only chance. "Kaoru . . . I know that I told you that I could never provide you with the happiness you deserve . . . and you were right. I never really tried to understand you, only making assumptions which I now know were completely wrong. And yes, I was a coward for running away, but I had to be knocked down a couple of pegs to really understand what I was leaving behind. I only wanted you to be happy . . . and I thought that maybe you would be happier with Yamada-san, but now I realize that your happiness truly lies elsewhere."
"I'm so sorry for everything, Kaoru. I know I've been a complete fool this whole time, however I can't just step back and watch you devote your love to another man." Crystal blue eyes narrowed at him before shaking her head.
"Iie. You were right. I am happy with Ta-chan." Kenshin's heart sank as his beloved stepped away from him and turned towards the younger man, taking his hand in hers. I promised myself I would move on, Kenshin, why are you doing this to me now? Is this some kind of sick joke? Well I'm not falling for it this time.
"You really will marry him then." Tell me it is a joke, that I'm not too late, Kaoru.
"Hai." How could such a simple word tear him apart so horribly? Maybe if he tried . . . just one last time. Just one last shot.
"Even if I told you that . . . I . . . I love you." The rurouni forced his lips to form the words that his heart was singing to him and had been singing to him for a long time. There he had said it. He tried again. "Kaoru, aishiteru." She had turned her back towards him, facing Tatsuha so that he couldn't see her expression, but he was good at reading body language and her body had stiffened slightly at his words. Please Kaoru, come back to me. I've said it. I've said I love you . . . and I promise we can move on together from there, he pleaded silently. He noticed that the groom had remained silent the entire time and it was almost eternity before Kaoru finally replied.
"I don't want to play your mind games anymore, Kenshin. Gomenasai, you're too late." So calm was her voice. So cold. His head bowed slightly as Kenshin swallowed hard, trying to accept the situation. Baka! Did you really expect her to wait for you? To come at your beck and call? It's your fault. You pushed her away. You hurt her so many times.
"I see." He said, keeping his voice light and casual. He would not ruin her day of happiness. Even if he was not part of that happiness. "Well then, I wish you the best of luck, Kaoru-dono . . . Yamada-san, you are a very lucky man, I know you will take care of her." The last part was not a question, it was a statement with an unspoken threat of which Tatsuha picked up on quite quickly.
Koishii . . . I was a complete moron . . . I took too long to come to my senses. No matter how many times I reminded myself that you weren't going to wait around forever . . . I still took you for granted. I wanted to leave you, believing that you would be happy and that I would always have this happy moment of you to look back on. But now I will leave, remembering your happiness and my sorrow combined as one. Kami-sama, I tried to avoid this pain but it looks like it was inevitable. In the end, either one of us was meant to be happy and the other, hurt. I could tell you that I loved you a thousand times and I'd still be too late. Doushite? Why was I so stupid? Iie, it doesn't matter. You were too pure for me. No matter how much it hurts me to let go, to see you betrothed to another man, I will still love you and treasure the memories we shared together. I deserve this punishment. It was fated that I should never find true happiness. Aishiteru Kaoru. We'll meet again some day.
"Hai." The young man finally spoke, keeping his eyes on the woman in front of him even Kenshin finally turned and began to walk away. She was so beautiful . . . more than she could ever know. He'd been lucky enough to have her in his life but the more he analyzed the situation, the more Tatsuha realized that she would never be completely happy living with him. She was so independent and so carefree, the dojo was her life and love. He couldn't bear to restrain her from the life she'd known since she was a child. It was like caging a dove, so inhumane. Kaoru cared for him, he could see it, but her heart would never completely belong to him. Despite her wavering words of rejection against this red-haired swordsman, those wonderful blue eyes spoke another story.
"We should go Ta-chan, they are waiting for us." Tearing her gaze away from the rurouni's retreating figure, Kaoru closed her eyes briefly at the tugging pain in her heart before taking a step forward. She was stopped by Tatsuha. "Nani?"
"Kaoru-chan . . . I love you and I worship you so dearly . . . if it were any other man, I would undoubtedly fight to my death for you . . . and to know that you would willingly give up this once in a lifetime chance for me lets me know how much you truly care for me. To give up your happiness for me is something I cannot allow. I couldn't bear to know that it was I who prevented you from pursuing your desire."
"Tatsuha, what are you saying?" Kaoru asked timidly, unbelieving the words that were coming from him.
"I won't marry you." Kenshin's head shot up in confusion as he paused in midstride.
"Demo . . ." Tatsuha took both of Kaoru's hands in his and kissed them.
"You're so beautiful, Kaoru . . . so strong-willed and compassionate . . . my lifestyle would restrict you and deep inside, I know that you would wither into an empty shell, seeking for the freedom you once had. What I'm saying is that, thank you for loving and caring for me, I won't regret meeting you, but your heart doesn't belong to me. It belongs to Himura-san and that is something you and I both know can't be denied."
"Ho-" Kaoru questioned but was interrupted by a gentle smile and a flicker of amusement in the dark green eyes. Behind them, Kenshin watched through cautious eyes, unsure of Yamada-san's true intentions. As he listened to the words exchanged between the two however, he felt a stir of hope from deep within and wanted to dance in joy. Kami-sama, can it be? Are you really giving me this chance at redemption? Ano . . . just because Yamada- san refuses to marry Kaoru, doesn't mean that I have another chance . . . Baka! I've ruined her celebration. I should've never came. Kaoru will never forgive me now. Oh koishii, please don't be angry with me . . . the bit of joy in Kenshin's eyes faded to sadness as he realized yet once again, he had undoubtedly caused Kaoru pain. Kami-sama, why do you insist on doing this to me? To Kaoru? I would willingly suffer demo, to drag Kaoru into this as well . . .
"A little bird told me. Kaoru, I want to thank you for these past two months. The time I spent with you means the world to me." He brushed the tears away from her face. "Don't cry. I really do love you. Always will." Leaning down, Tatsuha kissed her one last time before stepping back. "I'll leave you two alone . . . but I expect that the wedding ceremony should still continue, even though not as originally planned." The puzzled bride watched as her ex-groom disappeared around the corner before turning slowly to meet a pair of sorrowful violet eyes.
"Kaoru . . . all I can say is how sorry I am . . ." Kenshin began but was silenced by an angry look. "Ano. . ."
"Kenshin Himura . . ." She began through clenched teeth. A huge sweat drop formed on the back of the rurouni's head. She was definitely beyond upset.
"H-hai Kaoru-dono?" Time to switch into the rurouni routine if he wanted to save his ass.
"You played with my feelings for Kami-sama knows how long?!" I didn't mean to!
"Oro . . . " Koibito, you glow with such beauty when you are angry, Kenshin sighed inwardly, despite the murderous ki that was directed towards him.
"You get angry because another man took interest in me and you practically accused me of being unfaithful to you!" Demo, Kaoru, I get angry even when Sanosuke looks at you wrong!
"Oro . . . "
"Instead of taking it like a man, you decide that you would go off wandering again, firmly believing that I would be happier without you!" Again with the insults of my masculinity!
"Maa maa, Kaoru . . . ", Kenshin held his hands up in mock surrender as she continued to advance towards him, her eyes flashing. How he could drown himself in those endless crystals forever.
"And then you pull THIS stunt?!" He gulped as Kaoru grabbed his by the collar of his gi. "Do you know how much you've put me through, Himura?!?!" Iie, Kaoru, do you know how much I want you right now?
"ORO?! Gome-" The ex-swordsman began to apologize but stopped as Kaoru suddenly let go of him, tears spilling down her delicate cheeks once more. "Kao-" No no! Don't cry, Kaoru! Why is it that all I ever do is make you cry?! I ju- . . . nani? Are you crying tears of joy??
"Why did it have to take you this long to realize, Kenshin? Do I even mean that little to you for you to wait this long?" A slight smile curved up at his mouth as he pulled her into his embrace, holding her tightly. "Kenshin no baka!" Came the muffled sob. Iie, I was foolish. I waited this long to realize how much you truly meant to me and to realize how close I was to losing you completely.
"Gomen, koishii . . . gomen for taking so long to come to my senses . . ." So close. He'd almost lost her. He'd have to remember to thank Yamada-san later. "No more games, anata . . . I promise." My angel, my savior. Kami- sama must be watching over me to have blessed me with this chance at redemption again. Arigatou. And Sanosuke . . . I was wrong . . . you know a lot more than you let on, my friend . . .
Kenshin pulled back slightly and brushed away the leftover tears clinging to Kaoru's eyelashes. "Kaoru, look at me." Obediently, the young woman silently gazed up at him, still clinging onto his gi, for fear that she would wake up from this unrealistic dream. "Don't be afraid. I won't run away anymore. Aishiteru. I love you so much." Having said that, he cupped her face and tilted her head towards his, drawing her closer before engaging his beloved in the tenderest kiss he could manage.
It was a kiss that said it all.
The pain. The suffering. The tears. The joy. And most importantly, the pure love they mutually shared for each other.
Kaoru was left breathless as she was released and pulled once more into the loving arms of the man she had waited for so long. They stood there for several minutes, just enjoying the company of one another before Kaoru remembered about the ceremony. "Oh Kenshin, the wedding ceremony! I have to go tell everyone it's been canceled!" She began to hurry in the direction of the area where all her friends were waiting but was tugged backwards by a smiling rurouni. The question in her blue eyes was answered with a mischievous twinkle in his own gentle eyes. This is the perfect opportunity . . .
"I wasn't aware that the ceremony had been canceled . . . were you?" Kaoru's eyes grew wide in disbelief and then understanding.
"Kenshin . . . " You would do this for me? For us?
"Hai, koishii. Come, let's go pledge our love to one another and make it official." Taking her hand, the ex-swordsman led his soon to be wife around the corner, where the couple were met with loud cheers and whistles from their friends.
It would be a celebration to last a lifetime.
** Hope this is slightly better than the original posted chapter. I tried to go more into Kenshin's thoughts. Gomenasai minna-san if this is still not good. It's just very difficult to go back and revise when your mind isn't fully involved. **
----------------------------- Chapter 7 Revised ---------------------------- -
Smile. You can do it.
Somehow Kaoru finally managed to muster up the courage to smile as Tae and Tsubame helped to arrange her hair. The smile was shaky, but genuine.
"I can't believe you're finally getting married, Kaoru!" Tae squealed in excitement, and then frowned slightly. "Although I always thought you'd end up with Himura-san." The young woman smiled again, shrugging. "Well it doesn't matter, as long as you're finally getting married and Yamada-san is such a wonderful man!" Tsubame blushed lightly at the ongoing chatter as she carefully brushed Kaoru's hair.
I'm happy . . . I'm happy . . . Kaoru chanted mentally then sighed in resignation. But I'd be happier with Kenshin! Mou! Why couldn't he have been selfish and not give up so easily? At the reminder that her beloved rurouni was probably gone for good, Kaoru felt tears beginning to prick at her eyes. I can't cry. I won't. This is supposed to be a happy day for me. After today, I will devote my love to Tatsuha. He at least deserves that much. The image of the dark haired handsome young man brought a slight smile to her face. The young bride was so lost in her in own thoughts that she didn't realize her friends had finished fixing her hair. A loud squeal snapped her back to reality and Kaoru saw her close friend, Misao, jumping up and down, hands clasped together with a bright smile on her pretty face.
"Oh Kaoru! You look amazing!!!" The genki ninja wailed, her bright eyes sparkling in admiration.
"Well whoever thought that tanuki-chan could look so feminine?" Another voice interrupted, earning a glare. Kaoru's eye twitched as she shot Megumi a death glare but softened at the teasing smile that played on the older woman's lips.
"Iie . . . I'm still a tanuki."
"You're wrong Kaoru." Megumi smiled fondly, turning her towards the full length mirror propped up against the wall. Kaoru blinked several times as she gazed at her own reflection. Was that her? This young woman . . . this pretty young woman about to get married . . . it couldn't be. Kamiya Kaoru was a messy tomboy . . .
"Megumi-san is right! You look like a princess, Kaoru-san!" came the shy whisper from Tsubame.
"And you've got a handsome prince waiting outside!" Tae added as she touched up Kaoru's appearance. Kaoru smiled sadly at Tae's words. She had a prince alright . . .
"The wrong one . . . " Kaoru whispered to herself as she stared off blankly into space, thinking no one had heard her. Megumi felt a tug of sorrow in her heart, seeing the flicker of sadness cross the young woman's dark blue eyes momentarily before being replaced by somewhat of a forced cheerfulness. Oh tanuki . . . we tried . . . Kenshin's just too thickheaded . . .
They had agreed to keep the marital ceremony small and simple with mainly Kaoru's close friends in attendance. Afterwards, the newly married couple would join their friends at the Akabeko to have a celebration dinner, courtesy of Tae.
Kaoru suddenly found herself beginning to get nervous, fighting hard against the tightening sensation in her chest. Megumi caught the look of panic on her face and quickly ushered the other females out of the room before tending to the panic stricken bride. "Kaoru, take a deep breathe." The doctor instructed firmly as she grabbed a hold of the young woman's arm. "Kaoru, snap out of it!"
"I'm so scared, Megumi." Came the shrill reply as soon as Kaoru was able to breathe properly again.
"Pre-wedding jitters, neh? Everyone has them, tanuki."
"Iie . . . I'm afraid that if I marry Tatsuha, I wouldn't be able to love him the way he'd want me to and he doesn't deserve that!"
"Get a hold of yourself. It's obvious you care for Yamada-san, Kaoru . . . it's rare that you can find another person to care for so deeply twice in a lifetime . . . forget him . . . he's gone." Megumi stated curtly, then gently dabbed at the single tear that escaped Kaoru's eyes, careful not to smudge the makeup that Tae had worked so hard on. "Come on, Kaoru. Where's that strong independent tanuki we all know?" Kenshin, you idiot . . . if only you could see the pain you're putting her in . . . you thought that by leaving, you'd spare her the misery when in fact it has only cost her more pain, Megumi fumed silently. "Kaoru, do you really not want to go through with this? It's not too late to back out."
Kaoru gazed at her friend silently then towards the door where she knew her groom was waiting. The thought of fleeing crossed her mind, but that would mean hurting Tatsuha, and she wasn't about to do the same thing to him as Kenshin had done to her. No, she wasn't going to run away. Time to face harsh facts of reality . . . Kenshin wasn't going to return and it was her one last shot at living a life she knew her parents would've wanted for her. Here was a man who accepted her for who she was and for her distinct beliefs . . . Megumi was right, it was rare to be able to find another man who would care for her despite her lack of womanly abilities, as Kenshin had.
It was just that . . . oh Kenshin, you couldn't even say goodbye . . .
"I'm ready . . . " Kaoru stated in a determined voice. Megumi quickly fixed up the young woman's attire before heading towards the door. Stopping in midstride as Kaoru's meek voice reached her. "Megumi? Are you sure I look ok?" The doctor smiled.
"You look beautiful . . . even for a tanuki." Kaoru laughed and followed her friend to the door to greet her soon to be husband.
Kenshin watched from his spot in the shadows, remembering his previous conversation with Sanosuke. Just one last glimpse and he would go. That he would.
A hand fell on his shoulder yet it didn't come as a surprise to the rurouni who had sensed the familiar presence approach. "I knew you'd show up."
"I just wanted to see her." She'd never forgive me if I weren't present for one of the most memorable events of her life. I couldn't forgive myself either . . . but would I be able to handle it? Could I withstand the pain of seeing her in the arms of another man? I've caused her so much pain and this young man could give her everything that I can't. Kenshin cringed. I will not be jealous. I have no right to be. That I do not. As soon as I see her, I will leave at least knowing that she is in good hands. But if I stayed, then I wouldn't have to worry about Kaoru's safety. No, she doesn't need me hanging around. What if Yamada-san dared to lay a hand on her? He wouldn't. There was no danger to his ki. Maybe he's good at suppressing his ki. No! No no no! Maa maa! The rurouni sighed as the opposing voices continued to argue in his head.
Sanosuke watched silently as the older man seemed to be inwardly arguing with himself. The groom took his place on the porch, looking nervous yet happy. A few minutes later, the shoji door slid open and Megumi walked out, nodding at Tatsuha. She stepped aside and disappeared around the corner, leaving the young man alone. A timid figure soon appeared in the doorway, leaving all three men (as soon as Kenshin stopped arguing with himself and took notice of Kaoru's presence) completely breathless.
While Kenshin tried to settle a compromise with his noisy conscience, the sound of a shoji door opening caught his attention. Looking up, the picture that met his view left his throat dry and constricted. Even the voices trailed off into completely an awed silence.
A silk white kimono with silver intricate designs fitted her like a second skin, clinging to her feminine curves. Tae and Tsubame had left Kaoru's hair down, the soft raven tresses cascading like a waterfall around her slim shoulders. Tiny white roses carefully woven into the crown of her hair like a tiara. Wide blue eyes flashed with amusement even as a light pink flush tinted her cheeks in shyness.
"Kirei!" Sanosuke muttered. "Who would've thought Jou-chan was such a babe!" The young man exclaimed teasingly, nudging the speechless man beside him. His Kaoru. This beautiful vision of an angel could've been his to claim. "It's still not too late, Kenshin."
"Kaoru." Was the only word that Kenshin managed to whisper as he continued to gaze at her in wonder. A slight frown marred his features as he witnessed the intimate interaction between the young couple.
The young bride stood there in uncertainty, glancing at Tatsuha in a painfully shy manner. She wasn't used to being presented to him in this attire. The look on his face told her how surprised he was at her appearance. Was that a good thing or a bad thing? Tatsuha gazed at his wife to be appreciatively. He had always thought she was pretty, but ethereally beautiful was more of the politically correct term to describe her at the moment. The fidgeting gave away how uncomfortable she was and he stepped forward, taking her hand in his. "Kaoru-chan, you look gorgeous." At the compliment, Kaoru blushed but she took a step back and looked at him before smiling.
"Arigatou Ta-chan. You look very handsome as well." She closed her eyes as he kissed her softly before noting the look on her face. Kaoru saw the questioning look in his eyes but only smiled. "I'm nervous."
Just then, a gentle breeze seemed to pick up. One word, a simple whisper reached Kaoru's ear. Her name.
Kaoru.
She'd recognize that voice anywhere.
Kenshin watched as Kaoru's head snapped up and whipped around towards his direction. He had to steady himself as azure met violet and for a moment he thought she had spotted him, but the quick darting of her eyes informed him that she had not pinpointed his exact location.
Those eyes . . . belied a depth of sadness . . . seemingly pleading and beckoning to him.
She knew he was there, skillfully hidden and watching. Turning towards her groom, Kaoru smiled assuringly. "Give me a moment." Careful not to ruin the beautiful kimono, Kaoru stepped off the porch and slowly made her way towards the group of trees. Kenshin hid deeper into the shadows and blocked off his ki. To his relief,
"Sano? What are you doing back here?"
"Hey Jou-chan! Just checking out some birds . . . the red herrings are out you know." He winked as he hugged her, planting a brotherly kiss on her forehead. "You look great by the way. Don't keep us waiting too long!" Sanosuke called over his shoulder as he sauntered off. Kenshin's eyes narrowed at the retreating figure before widening in surprise.
"Kenshin?" Kaoru paused, taking a deep breath while looking around curiously. She wasn't going to cry, not anymore. A faint smile crossed her lips as she caught scent of the familiar musky scent that belonged solely to him. He really was here. Well at least she could say goodbye now. "Arigatou for coming today. It means a lot to me." Don't cry, Kamiya, she reprimanded herself, swallowing the lump that was forming in her throat.
"I guess this is the final goodbye . . . I hope you fare well on your journey . . . and I hope that you don't ever forget me or any of the others. You'll always be welcome back here, so do stop by and visit if you're ever in the area." Kaoru scanned the trees again, hesitating but then finally gave up. "Sayonara . . . aishiteru, Kenshin."
He watched as his beloved began walking away, her words echoing in his head. Without thinking, Kenshin stepped out into view. "Kaoru."
She stopped in midstride and turned back towards him, frozen in place, watching as he walked towards her in a cautious manner. "You're here." Was her reply.
"Gomenasai." Kenshin touched her cheek tenderly, gazing into her wonderful blue eyes, then stopped in disbelief. Her eyes were sparkling with joy. Because of him? ". . . If there's one thing I do know, it's that you're her heart and soul." The parting words of his young friend drifted into his mind as he continued to look at her in disbelief.
"Kirei. You look like a goddess, Kaoru." A faint blush reappeared, tingeing her delicate cheekbones. The desire to throw her arms around him and never let go, to kiss him endlessly, -no, it wasn't going to happen. She wasn't going to hurt Tatsuha like that. At the sudden reminder of her soon to be husband, Kaoru spun out of Kenshin's reach and turned to see her fiancé standing alone. He was still patiently waiting where she had left him. Decision made, Kaoru turned back to the rurouni and hugged him.
"I have to go. Just know you'll always have a place in my heart . . . " She brushed her lips lightly over his cheek and began walking back towards the porch. However, she didn't turn quickly enough to hide the hurt in her eyes. Kenshin stared after her dumbly.
It was true. Only he could take her pain away.
"Kaoru! Matte!" The young woman had just walked up the steps and joined Tatsuha. The couple turned to see the red-haired man running over. A slight flutter stirred in Kaoru's heart but she ignored it.
"Kenshin?" He turned, regarding the groom and bowed his head slightly before meeting his gaze.
"Gomenasai Yamada-san, demo I cannot allow Kaoru to marry you." Kaoru's mouth dropped open in disbelief as Kenshin's words reached her ears.
"Soudeska?" Was that a glimmer of amusement in the younger man's eyes? Kenshin gazed at him curiously before being interrupted by an angry Kaoru.
"Kenshin, what are you doing?!" She exclaimed, trying to ignore the increasing flutters deep inside of her chest. Her knees almost gave way as Kenshin turned to look at her, determination obvious in his expression.
"You can't marry him." Those words, stated so calmly, caused a variety of emotions to surface before settling on both joy and anger. I cannot let you go through with this, koishii. Not while I'm still here, not while I'm still alive. Your heart belongs to me as mine belongs solely to you. We both know it.
"Nani?!"
"I can't allow you to marry him." Kaoru began to seethe, her fists clenching in mock fury. If you think you're going to mess with me again, you've got another thought coming buster! Kenshin or not, I will send you on a one way trip to the Americas, she thought, silently fuming. The rurouni picked up on the unstable ki and tried to intervene before the young woman's anger erupted on him.
"Maa maa, Kaoru . . ." With a glance at Tatsuha, Kenshin took his infuriated angel by the shoulders and forced her to look at him. I'd better make this quick or Kaoru will have my head. Ok Himura . . . do it now or else you'll lose your only chance. "Kaoru . . . I know that I told you that I could never provide you with the happiness you deserve . . . and you were right. I never really tried to understand you, only making assumptions which I now know were completely wrong. And yes, I was a coward for running away, but I had to be knocked down a couple of pegs to really understand what I was leaving behind. I only wanted you to be happy . . . and I thought that maybe you would be happier with Yamada-san, but now I realize that your happiness truly lies elsewhere."
"I'm so sorry for everything, Kaoru. I know I've been a complete fool this whole time, however I can't just step back and watch you devote your love to another man." Crystal blue eyes narrowed at him before shaking her head.
"Iie. You were right. I am happy with Ta-chan." Kenshin's heart sank as his beloved stepped away from him and turned towards the younger man, taking his hand in hers. I promised myself I would move on, Kenshin, why are you doing this to me now? Is this some kind of sick joke? Well I'm not falling for it this time.
"You really will marry him then." Tell me it is a joke, that I'm not too late, Kaoru.
"Hai." How could such a simple word tear him apart so horribly? Maybe if he tried . . . just one last time. Just one last shot.
"Even if I told you that . . . I . . . I love you." The rurouni forced his lips to form the words that his heart was singing to him and had been singing to him for a long time. There he had said it. He tried again. "Kaoru, aishiteru." She had turned her back towards him, facing Tatsuha so that he couldn't see her expression, but he was good at reading body language and her body had stiffened slightly at his words. Please Kaoru, come back to me. I've said it. I've said I love you . . . and I promise we can move on together from there, he pleaded silently. He noticed that the groom had remained silent the entire time and it was almost eternity before Kaoru finally replied.
"I don't want to play your mind games anymore, Kenshin. Gomenasai, you're too late." So calm was her voice. So cold. His head bowed slightly as Kenshin swallowed hard, trying to accept the situation. Baka! Did you really expect her to wait for you? To come at your beck and call? It's your fault. You pushed her away. You hurt her so many times.
"I see." He said, keeping his voice light and casual. He would not ruin her day of happiness. Even if he was not part of that happiness. "Well then, I wish you the best of luck, Kaoru-dono . . . Yamada-san, you are a very lucky man, I know you will take care of her." The last part was not a question, it was a statement with an unspoken threat of which Tatsuha picked up on quite quickly.
Koishii . . . I was a complete moron . . . I took too long to come to my senses. No matter how many times I reminded myself that you weren't going to wait around forever . . . I still took you for granted. I wanted to leave you, believing that you would be happy and that I would always have this happy moment of you to look back on. But now I will leave, remembering your happiness and my sorrow combined as one. Kami-sama, I tried to avoid this pain but it looks like it was inevitable. In the end, either one of us was meant to be happy and the other, hurt. I could tell you that I loved you a thousand times and I'd still be too late. Doushite? Why was I so stupid? Iie, it doesn't matter. You were too pure for me. No matter how much it hurts me to let go, to see you betrothed to another man, I will still love you and treasure the memories we shared together. I deserve this punishment. It was fated that I should never find true happiness. Aishiteru Kaoru. We'll meet again some day.
"Hai." The young man finally spoke, keeping his eyes on the woman in front of him even Kenshin finally turned and began to walk away. She was so beautiful . . . more than she could ever know. He'd been lucky enough to have her in his life but the more he analyzed the situation, the more Tatsuha realized that she would never be completely happy living with him. She was so independent and so carefree, the dojo was her life and love. He couldn't bear to restrain her from the life she'd known since she was a child. It was like caging a dove, so inhumane. Kaoru cared for him, he could see it, but her heart would never completely belong to him. Despite her wavering words of rejection against this red-haired swordsman, those wonderful blue eyes spoke another story.
"We should go Ta-chan, they are waiting for us." Tearing her gaze away from the rurouni's retreating figure, Kaoru closed her eyes briefly at the tugging pain in her heart before taking a step forward. She was stopped by Tatsuha. "Nani?"
"Kaoru-chan . . . I love you and I worship you so dearly . . . if it were any other man, I would undoubtedly fight to my death for you . . . and to know that you would willingly give up this once in a lifetime chance for me lets me know how much you truly care for me. To give up your happiness for me is something I cannot allow. I couldn't bear to know that it was I who prevented you from pursuing your desire."
"Tatsuha, what are you saying?" Kaoru asked timidly, unbelieving the words that were coming from him.
"I won't marry you." Kenshin's head shot up in confusion as he paused in midstride.
"Demo . . ." Tatsuha took both of Kaoru's hands in his and kissed them.
"You're so beautiful, Kaoru . . . so strong-willed and compassionate . . . my lifestyle would restrict you and deep inside, I know that you would wither into an empty shell, seeking for the freedom you once had. What I'm saying is that, thank you for loving and caring for me, I won't regret meeting you, but your heart doesn't belong to me. It belongs to Himura-san and that is something you and I both know can't be denied."
"Ho-" Kaoru questioned but was interrupted by a gentle smile and a flicker of amusement in the dark green eyes. Behind them, Kenshin watched through cautious eyes, unsure of Yamada-san's true intentions. As he listened to the words exchanged between the two however, he felt a stir of hope from deep within and wanted to dance in joy. Kami-sama, can it be? Are you really giving me this chance at redemption? Ano . . . just because Yamada- san refuses to marry Kaoru, doesn't mean that I have another chance . . . Baka! I've ruined her celebration. I should've never came. Kaoru will never forgive me now. Oh koishii, please don't be angry with me . . . the bit of joy in Kenshin's eyes faded to sadness as he realized yet once again, he had undoubtedly caused Kaoru pain. Kami-sama, why do you insist on doing this to me? To Kaoru? I would willingly suffer demo, to drag Kaoru into this as well . . .
"A little bird told me. Kaoru, I want to thank you for these past two months. The time I spent with you means the world to me." He brushed the tears away from her face. "Don't cry. I really do love you. Always will." Leaning down, Tatsuha kissed her one last time before stepping back. "I'll leave you two alone . . . but I expect that the wedding ceremony should still continue, even though not as originally planned." The puzzled bride watched as her ex-groom disappeared around the corner before turning slowly to meet a pair of sorrowful violet eyes.
"Kaoru . . . all I can say is how sorry I am . . ." Kenshin began but was silenced by an angry look. "Ano. . ."
"Kenshin Himura . . ." She began through clenched teeth. A huge sweat drop formed on the back of the rurouni's head. She was definitely beyond upset.
"H-hai Kaoru-dono?" Time to switch into the rurouni routine if he wanted to save his ass.
"You played with my feelings for Kami-sama knows how long?!" I didn't mean to!
"Oro . . . " Koibito, you glow with such beauty when you are angry, Kenshin sighed inwardly, despite the murderous ki that was directed towards him.
"You get angry because another man took interest in me and you practically accused me of being unfaithful to you!" Demo, Kaoru, I get angry even when Sanosuke looks at you wrong!
"Oro . . . "
"Instead of taking it like a man, you decide that you would go off wandering again, firmly believing that I would be happier without you!" Again with the insults of my masculinity!
"Maa maa, Kaoru . . . ", Kenshin held his hands up in mock surrender as she continued to advance towards him, her eyes flashing. How he could drown himself in those endless crystals forever.
"And then you pull THIS stunt?!" He gulped as Kaoru grabbed his by the collar of his gi. "Do you know how much you've put me through, Himura?!?!" Iie, Kaoru, do you know how much I want you right now?
"ORO?! Gome-" The ex-swordsman began to apologize but stopped as Kaoru suddenly let go of him, tears spilling down her delicate cheeks once more. "Kao-" No no! Don't cry, Kaoru! Why is it that all I ever do is make you cry?! I ju- . . . nani? Are you crying tears of joy??
"Why did it have to take you this long to realize, Kenshin? Do I even mean that little to you for you to wait this long?" A slight smile curved up at his mouth as he pulled her into his embrace, holding her tightly. "Kenshin no baka!" Came the muffled sob. Iie, I was foolish. I waited this long to realize how much you truly meant to me and to realize how close I was to losing you completely.
"Gomen, koishii . . . gomen for taking so long to come to my senses . . ." So close. He'd almost lost her. He'd have to remember to thank Yamada-san later. "No more games, anata . . . I promise." My angel, my savior. Kami- sama must be watching over me to have blessed me with this chance at redemption again. Arigatou. And Sanosuke . . . I was wrong . . . you know a lot more than you let on, my friend . . .
Kenshin pulled back slightly and brushed away the leftover tears clinging to Kaoru's eyelashes. "Kaoru, look at me." Obediently, the young woman silently gazed up at him, still clinging onto his gi, for fear that she would wake up from this unrealistic dream. "Don't be afraid. I won't run away anymore. Aishiteru. I love you so much." Having said that, he cupped her face and tilted her head towards his, drawing her closer before engaging his beloved in the tenderest kiss he could manage.
It was a kiss that said it all.
The pain. The suffering. The tears. The joy. And most importantly, the pure love they mutually shared for each other.
Kaoru was left breathless as she was released and pulled once more into the loving arms of the man she had waited for so long. They stood there for several minutes, just enjoying the company of one another before Kaoru remembered about the ceremony. "Oh Kenshin, the wedding ceremony! I have to go tell everyone it's been canceled!" She began to hurry in the direction of the area where all her friends were waiting but was tugged backwards by a smiling rurouni. The question in her blue eyes was answered with a mischievous twinkle in his own gentle eyes. This is the perfect opportunity . . .
"I wasn't aware that the ceremony had been canceled . . . were you?" Kaoru's eyes grew wide in disbelief and then understanding.
"Kenshin . . . " You would do this for me? For us?
"Hai, koishii. Come, let's go pledge our love to one another and make it official." Taking her hand, the ex-swordsman led his soon to be wife around the corner, where the couple were met with loud cheers and whistles from their friends.
It would be a celebration to last a lifetime.
