Title: Confusion of passion
Disclaimer: not mine, don't sue
Summary: AU *slash* what happens when a cupid-in-training Mary-sue tries to get Legolas to fall in love with her and ends up plunging the whole fellowship into a confusion of love? Fluffy, silly fic… ^_^
A/N: hee! Am taking a break from all that angst in "Once upon a memory" to engage in some fluff…
*important* please remember that this fic *is* supposed to be silly… and due to the nature of this fic, chapters will sometimes be very short… so I may update 2 or more chapters at one go…
Mary-sue stalked through the winding lanes that were surrounded by brilliant, blooming flowers and foliages, her shimmering, fiery auburn hair streaming behind her.
"You are not good enough," she muttered angrily to herself. "You are not fast enough, you are not accurate enough, who does that idiot teacher think he is anyway?"
Letting out a shriek of righteous frustration, Mary-sue suddenly stopped to stamp fiercely (with perfectly dainty toes) on the innocent, dewy grass that were peeking out from the ground.
"Take that!" She huffed fiercely, pouting prettily at the poor dead grass.
For good measure, she flung her bow on the ground and was about to stamp on it as well when a smirking voice stopped her.
"Well, well, what has made our little princess so angry?"
Raising her blazing sapphire eyes, she saw a familiar figure lazily walk towards her.
"It's you," Mary-sue spat in disgust, repulsed at the sight of yet another guy who was madly in love with her and whom she had utterly no interest in.
Not in the least discouraged, Gary-stu merely raised his eyebrows questioningly, running a hand through his flawlessly tousled hair.
"It's my stupid archery teacher," Mary-sue sighed, her long eyelashes fluttering attractively. "He keeps saying I'm not good enough."
Gary-stu clicked his tongue in sympathy, his warm hazelnut brown eyes that sparkled with golden flecks simply radiating commiseration.
"As if it's possible for me to NOT be the best in everything I do!" Mary-sue said with a heartfelt sigh, no doubt feeling sorry for the masses that were so beneath her and painfully lacking all her skills.
"Never mind, I have something to take your mind off it," Gary-stu winked suggestively, reaching into his clothes.
"Ew, please don't show that to me again," Mary-sue winced, her eyes crinkling up irresistibly.
Looking slightly offended, Gary-stu drew out a glowing, fragile crystal ball.
"I just received this from my cousin who is madly in love with me," he said casually.
Reaching out a hand for it, Mary-sue immediately knew what she was holding, due to her vast knowledge and wisdom that were far beyond her years.
"It's the multiple worlds' crystal gazer," she breathed, examining it closely.
Putting both perfectly manicured hands on the crystal ball, Mary-sue wondered what she should ask to see.
"Show me the cutest guy in the whole wide world!"
At Mary-sue's words, smoke immediately blurred the luminous light that emanated from the crystal for a brief moment and gradually cleared.
"But that's not me!" Gary-stu cried, distraught beyond belief. Collapsing into tears, he crumpled to the ground, amazed that there could be someone in the world more gorgeous than him.
"Oh. My. God." Mary-sue said appreciatively, licking her lips suggestively at the alluring picture that was before her azure eyes.
Swiftly putting down the ball and picking up her bow that she had thrown in a fit of pique, she magically drew on her vast reserves of powers and wished herself into Middle-earth.
**********
Legolas walked lightly along the lush, verdant field, smiling fondly at the hobbits that were chattering away excitedly, unaware of the horror that was rapidly descending upon him (literally).
He turned his head slightly as Aragorn fell into step beside him.
"The little hobbits are in high spirits," Aragorn remarked, a brief smile appearing on his face before being replaced with his usual gruff, solemn expression.
"It is good, for I fear they may not know laughter again when this quest has ended," Legolas said wistfully.
"Take heart, my friend. We will triumph in our quest," Aragorn said confidently, a comforting hand grasping Legolas's shoulder.
Grinning at Aragorn, Legolas was about to reply when his keen elven hearing sensed a great disturbance moving rapidly towards him.
Raising his head in surprise, he was shocked to see a girl falling towards him.
Legolas had been raised to be gallant and chivalrous but he had his limits too. He supposed he should have valiantly stood still and held out his arms to catch the girl but he had feared his arms would shatter with the sheer force of the fall.
Hence, he had smoothly stepped aside and calmly watched the girl fall onto the ground with a Middle-earth-shattering boom.
That gigantic explosion of sound caused the entire fellowship (and a few elves in Rivendell with exceptional hearing) to stop dead in their tracks and surround the fallen girl quizzically.
The inquisitive hobbits pushed their way to the front and peered wonderingly at the girl.
Groaning feebly, the girl pushed herself up and the entire fellowship gasped.
Truly, she was a vision.
Even though she had fallen for an unknown gazillion-like distance and had hit the grassy ground with a tremendous intensity, every thread of her silky, lacy, billowing dress was still in place.
She stood there silently, tendrils of her auburn hair framing her exquisite, heart-shaped face perfectly as her cerulean blue eyes reproached the fellowship for not having caught her.
"Are you an elf?" An awe-struck Pippin asked, for such a heavenly being must be one of the ethereal elves.
"No," she answered and the fellowship swooned, for her voice was sweet, melodious and completely mesmerizing.
"But you have a bow," Merry ventured cautiously as the rest of the fellowship marveled at Merry's observant skills, for the so-called bow was so covered with fluttering lace and sheer, translucent cotton that it seemed to be in disguise.
Looking down at her bow, the girl's lips curled up into a smile.
On any other girl, it would have been described as a devious, repulsive smile. However, on her, it was a charming, ravishing smile.
Remember, he will fall in love with the first person he sets eyes on after you shoot him. Mary-sue reminded herself as she drew out a pink and silver arrow with a silk ribbon fluttering at the pointed end.
Positioning herself firmly in front of the startled Legolas, she drew her bow.
TBC…
