Disclaimer: not mine, don't sue

Author's note: Thanks to coolgirlchic16 (yay! Cookie! *beams* ), TheChosenOne (Thanks for liking it so much! *hugs* ), Aidenfire (hope you won't be confused by this chapter! *grin* ), Shea ( what?! old people have sex too ya know? Heh. Never mind. Hee!), Dragoneyes (heh, I was thinking of Gandalf/ Saruman but I couldn't be bothered to think of a way to drag Saruman into this mess) and Light (hope you like the last chapter!)

*beams* special guest appearance by Haldir... cos he's um, special! Hee.

*important* my formatting keeps going haywire so thoughts are represented by // //

Dedication: Everybody who likes this fic... especially Maia. ^_^

Mary-sue magically appeared in Middle-earth once again in a dazzling display of fireworks.

However, this time, she was accompanied by a silver-haired, forebodingly gorgeous archer who had his quiver and bow slung tantalizingly across his back.

Firmly gripping Mary-sue by her arm, Haldir frowned.

//It's not like I do not have enough to occupy my time, especially since I have to learn how to assimilate into their world... after the Valars kindly informed me that I will be brutally killed at Helm's Deep and gave me a choice to forsake Middle Earth for their world... if only I had known what I was agreeing to... fancy me, Haldir the fabulous archer, giving pathetic, hopeless cupid-wannabes lessons...//

Putting in an effort to halt his incessant grumbling in his mind, Haldir glared at Mary-sue.

"We have to undo all the damage you have caused, don't you know better than to mess around with other worlds?" He sighed in exasperation as Mary-sue simply pouted prettily and refused to meet his eyes.

//He's just jealous of my good looks and the powers I'm going to develop.// Mary-sue assured herself. //One day, I'll be so powerful even he can't stop me.//

"So where are all these people you afflicted?" Haldir asked sharply, not seeing a single soul where they had landed.

Vaguely waving her hand about, Mary-sue sulked as she thought about the injustice of it all.

//Just one more arrow and the elf would have been mine!//

Seeing how she evidently wasn't going to be of any help, Haldir chanted a spell, and miraculously Mary-rue disappeared in a cloud of swirling smoke.

Wandering around vaguely, Haldir's pointed ears suddenly perked up at sounds emerging from the forest.

Softly treading towards a clearing, Haldir couldn't help the sprinkling of crimson that spread across his cheeks as he heard the telltale sounds of moaning and groaning.

"You are the wind in my sails, the light in my life, the hope in... Legolas!" A high-pitched shriek interrupted the original worshipping speech as Haldir walked closer.

//Legolas?//

Haldir's eyes bugged out very unbecomingly as he curiously peered over the bushes.

He stared wonderingly, transfixed at the sight before his eyes. A lascivious smile curling up his lips, he tried hard to restrain himself from drooling over the swoon-inducing picture.

As the golden Mirkwood elf arched in all his glory, an overwhelmed Haldir gasped and stumbled backwards, the action causing his thoughts and his duties to return to him in a rush.

Carefully reaching into a small cloth bag, he clasped a handful of sprinkling glittering dust and blew them into the wind.

Licking his lips, Haldir wondered if he should return to Middle Earth. After all, he had lots of very good friends here, and he would be especially pleased to renew the acquaintance of one Legolas Greenleaf, particularly after witnessing his rather flexible performance.

On the other hand, there was the small matter of him having been prophesized as dying heroically at Helm's Deep...

Sighing regrettably to himself, Haldir forced his eyes to move away from the sinful picture and muttered lightly under his breath, disappearing in a puff of vapor.

The twinkling dust drifted lazily in the slight breeze and fell lightly over the fellowship members, erasing the spell that had been created.

However,

... Boromir and Gimli continued to explore their staminas and the various
positions they could engage in without breaking any bones.

... Legolas and Aragorn continued to lie in each other's arms, gazing intimately into each other's eyes.

... Frodo and Sam continued to take their master- gardener relationship to a different level.

... Merry and Pippin continued to explore how many ways they could eat lembas off each other.

Gandalf blinked rapidly as he stared at the object in his hands.

"Why in the name of Elbereth am I holding a saucepan?"
Author's note: *beams* do you guys get it? the lotr guys are all already in love with each other so all the arrows did was actually to bring out their innate desires... heh... that's why they're still in love with each other even though the spell has been erased.

BIG HUGS to everybody that has been kind to me about this fic! Thank you! So much! ^_^