A/N: Wow! Thanks for the reviews! I wasn't expecting that much for the last chapter. Please continue though 'cause I'm not complaining!

Chapter 20

How do you say goodbye

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Looking into eyes that once held promises

of many tomorrows of laughter and warmth in their depths

now to feel an aching sense of sadness

and confusion with each new breath

happy seems so long ago

where it went I don't know

but it's gone

can we go on

How do you say goodbye to the love

That held your heart in their hands

Oh baby I feel the pain and fear

Like trickles of sand

Seeping into my soul

The way I feel alone

Leaving behind a world of smiles

That are no longer there

Scattered memories in the air
How do you say goodbye

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

"It's what I need Luke." He sighed, willing his uncle to understand.

"Okay."

"I want you to know it's not - um" he hesitated, " it's not 'cause of you I mean I appreciate all you've done." He said hurriedly before losing the nerve to say it.

Luke looked at him with an almost fond expression and Jess shifted around uncomfortably.

"Thanks. So when's the big day?"

"The seventeenth."

"But that's next week!"

"I know, I figure the sooner I make the break the sooner I can get on with my life ya know."

Which meant that the sooner he got out of Stars Hollow the sooner he could try forgetting about Rory. Try being the operative word.

"What about school?"

"What about it?" he asked in disregard.

"Jess!"

"What?"

"Don't act dumb. School's very important, plus you're smart. You could do more with your life."

"Yeah I'm so smart I fell for a girl who can't stand the sight of me!" he said effusively.

"Jess." Luke said uncomfortably.

"Look I don't want your pity okay. I shouldn't have said anything. If you must know I'll be transferring to school there in New York so I won't be throwing away my education."

"Good." Luke said relieved.

"Yeah that 's me." He drawled.

"Are you gonna tell her?" his uncle asked a while later. Jess felt his heart squeeze painfully but he gave the air of nonchalance.

"You mean go out of my way? Nah - she'll hear it through the grapevine. Not that she'd care either way." He said with a tinge of bitterness, he couldn't quite get down the whole unaffected thing where Rory was concerned.

"She cared that you didn't tell her about other things." Luke answered reasonably.

Jess sighed, "I don't really feel like going into that right now."

"Fine. But I still think you should tell her so you can at least say goodbye. You two might want to stay in touch one day. You don't wanna lose that chance."

"Rory and I have already said goodbye." He said dismissively.

And as for losing her - I never really had her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She could feel people's eyes on her as she walked to the diner.

If she were the paranoid type she'd be convinced that the town wanted her strung and quartered for her part, although innocent, in the Rory/Jess debacle.

Part of her wasn't quite sure why she had made the suggestion to Jess. But she couldn't get the image of his face filled with desolation out of her mind.

She knew that running away wasn't his style but he was adamant that Rory didn't care about him.

Skye wasn't so sure that was the case though but Jess could be obstinate at times and this was clearly one of those times.

The bell seemed extra loud to her ears as she pushed the door open, half expecting to be expelled immediately.

But everything seemed normal for the most part anyhow as she sat at the counter.

"Hi."

"Hey Luke."

"What will it be?"

"Coffee and a bagel please."

"Sure. Jess isn't here by the way."

"Thanks for the tip but I also come here to eat you know."

"I never meant - " Luke started awkwardly.

"Yes you did." She said matter of factly.

"You two are close."

"Is that your way of saying you think it's my fault?" she asked as he put her order in front of her.

"Well, he is going back with you." He said half accusingly.

But Skye refused to on the defensive for something she hadn't done.

"Sure he is Luke. But he's not leaving 'with me' with me. He needs to lick his wounds. Preferably away from the small town gossip mill and the source of his inflictions."

"He has a lot to deal with." Luke conceded.

"And you think he should deal with them here?" she asked Luke suprisedly.

"I just want to help." He said softly.

"He won't want you to be the town pariah again because you stood by him."

"He's my nephew."

Which from what she'd heard, Skye gathered translated to Luke loving and worrying about Jess, although she could already see that.

She sipped on her coffee as Luke attended to other customers.

"I'm just wandering how things went so wrong," He said later, "things were going good for them you know before."

"Before I came on the scene?"

"Skye I don't know the story with you two. What happened back in New York."

Once again she found herself having to defend their friendship.

"What happened was Jess and I became friends. JUST friends. I came here because of that friendship not to extirpate his and Rory's budding relationship contrary to popular belief."

Guilt for an innocent action flowed through Skye and for the hundredth time she thought that maybe she shouldn't have come to Stars Hollow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rory consoled herself by rationalising that she would be on holiday in just over a week.

The consolation gave way to an even deeper melancholy when she realised holidays meant free days and free days meant more time to be lost in thought about someone that she was trying to forget.

It was bad enough that her dreams were haunted by his face.

She would just have to rope in Lane and Paris in helping her deal with it but then again maybe that wasn't such a good idea because they both seemed to be Jess' personal cheerleaders.

Both of them telling her not so subtly that she was being too hard on him and that she was reading more into it.

But they hadn't seen the look on his face before he'd walked away that night or a couple of days ago.

She hadn't seen Jess since which wasn't that surprising, she knew first- hand that if you really wanted to avoid someone it wasn't that hard, not even in Stars Hollow.

Even Lorelai, her mom for goodness sake was jumping on the 'Jess is a good guy' bandwagon. She was glad though that her mom was finally beginning to accept him, it just could've happened at a more appropriate time.

Rory mentally shook herself as she got off the bus, she needed to concentrate on what was going well in her life. She had finals coming up and she needed to give them 100%.

Her resolution, however, was put on the back burner for a while because when she got home there was someone walking off her porch.

Someone she wasn't ready to see, someone who had ruined everything.

Someone whose eyes betrayed nothing as they bored into hers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I was um just leaving."

"Oh."

"Um, I was returning 'The Fountainhead' and some other books." He said uncomfortably.

"I see." She said equally uncomfortably.

The carefully constructed barriers Jess had put up were beginning to unravel with each moment he stayed in Rory's company.

He wanted, needed to get away before he fell apart in front of her.

"I've still got a couple of things of yours if you want them now." She said, postponing his getaway.

"It's okay I'll get them some other time." He mentally kicked himself, that meant he would have to come back here.

"You know what, I'll rather get them now if that's cool."

"Sure." She said opening the door, looking at him questioningly when he made no move to follow her.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets, "I'll just wait here."

"Oh okay, whatever."

His nerves were shot and each second felt like a lifetime as he fought the urge to go into the house. It brought too many memories of a happier time.

Rory came out a long while later with a small cardboard box, her eyes tinged with red but Jess pretended he didn't see.

It wasn't like she'd been crying or anything, she didn't care.

Their fingers brushed against each other as she handed him the box, he almost dropped it at the contact.

"Thanks." He said huskily.

"No problem."

"Rory - "

"Jess - "

They said broke off and the discomfort went up another notch or two.

"Do you mind if I go first?" Jess asked not wanting to lose the nerve to say what he wanted before he got the chance.

"No. Go ahead." She said a bit surprised.

"I guess I wanted to say I'm sorry. I was a bit nervous to tell you about the whole music thing but it wasn't life threatening or anything - I should've told you."

"I -"

"Wait, let me finish please."

Rory just nodded at him and Jess pulled the box closer to him as if that somehow would protect him from the magnetism of her eyes.

"I'm only saying this once more - Skye and I got the tattoos to remind ourselves of what we mean to each other, that wherever we are there's someone out there looking out for us. I should've told you about that too. I'm sorry.

"But I'm mostly sorry for making your life so miserable and I just wanted to say you needn't worry I'll be out of you hair soon."

Rory stood staring at him and he almost asked her if she'd heard a word he'd said.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," he said tightening his grip on the box for support, "exactly that. You don't have to avoid me anymore 'cause I won't be around."

Jess took a deep breath and looked her in the eye.

I'm going back to New York. He wanted to tell her but the words were blocked by the pain in his heart.

"I'll stay out of your way, I promise." He said instead, feeling like a coward for backing out at the last minute.

"You don't have to go to any trouble."

"It's no trouble at all."

Yeah right.

They stood on the front lawn for a while, not saying a word as if trying to freeze the moment.

Jess knew he'd have the image of her standing before him in his mind and heart forever.

The way her hair hung like burnished sandalwood around her shoulders highlighted by the sun. Her eyes a pristine azure against her porcelain skin.

"I'd better go." He said quietly.

"Goodbye Jess." She said stiltedly.

"Goodbye Rory,"

He'd been wrong when he'd told Luke they'd already said their goodbyes.

It was one of the hardest things Jess had ever done.

Watching Rory walk away, he felt like he was losing his soul.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Skye had just finished with a call with her record label when a frantic Jess came to see her, her surprise evident at his expression of determination.

"I can't wait that long Skye. I want to leave now."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Don't worry I am a loyal literati.