A/N: This isn't my favorite chapter from this book.
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, except Crauwel and Madam Epdac.
THE QUEEN OF MY HEART
Chapter Nineteen: All Will Come to Light
Remus and Lily spent all their free time for the next few weeks searching the library for something about portkeys. The card catalogue only suggested subjects to books and not the many different and complicated spells within them. It seemed so very hopeless that Remus felt he needed a break from it all. It so happened that Lily was due for a break herself.
"Found anything close?" Lily asked, dropping an old book, entitled "Spells for the Potential Master Wizard", onto the table Remus sat at.
"Nothing," Remus yawned, stretching out his back.
"I found the mention of portkeys, but nothing on setting them or unsetting them," Lily explained, tiredly. "Does it seem like we aren't getting anywhere?"
"'Course we're getting somewhere," Remus said quickly, leaning back in his chair. "We have determined which books do not contain what we need."
Lily kicked Remus' chair, causing him to loose balance and fall to the ground. Aside from a slight disorientation, Remus was alright. He just stared up at Lily as she knelt down beside him.
"I honestly don't think we can do this," Lily admitted, looking quite forlorn.
"Could you have faith in us just once?" Remus said, sitting up. "We're not the average sixth years. We have something no other students have."
"And what's that?" Lily asked in a discouraged whisper.
"A thousand books of text to our credit," Remus replied. "With all the spells we've scanned over, we could probably defeat ten Voldemorts."
"So that's the new plan?" Lily asked in jest. "Sounds good to me."
Lily and Remus laughed a little.
"Don't worry," Remus said comfortingly. "Everything is going to work out fine."
Lily smiled weakly and stood up.
"Back to the books," she groaned.
They spent several more hours there before heading off to Gryffindor tower, dragging their feet.
"We'll find it," Remus assured Lily, who looked like she was sleep walking, with her eyes closed.
She yawned in response.
"Want me to carry you?" Remus offered.
Lily nodded, without even opening her eyes.
Remus picked her up, across the alter style, and began to carry her. With her head laying on his shoulder, her hot breath was let out onto Remus' neck. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and shivers went down his arms. Despite this, Remus pressed on toward Gryffindor tower. As he approached the portrait hole, he let Lily down slowly.
"Asleep?" Remus asked as Lily leaned against him to keep standing.
"I wish," she muttered.
"Almost there," he assured her.
He said the password and helped Lily through the portrait hole. They went up to the dormitories.
"Can you make it to your room alone?" Remus asked.
"Sure," Lily said, pushing off from Remus and walking, off balance, down the hall.
Remus chuckled and went down the boys hall to his room. It was dark inside. Remus could barely find his own bed. He was sure that he got into Peter's bed for a moment, then found no one there.
"Well, if he wants it, he'll have to fight me for it," Remus mumbled as he let himself drift softly to sleep.
A mere few seconds went by before...
"Mooney...Mooney?"
Remus opened his eyes and let them adjust for a second. He was in his own bed, facing Peter's. Peter was propped up on his elbow and staring at Remus.
"Where've you been?" Peter demanded quietly.
"In the library," Remus told him grumpily. "Lily and I were-"
"Lily?" Peter gasped. "I thought you were going to stop seeing her."
"It wasn't like that," Remus insisted.
"Did you...kiss her again?" Peter asked.
"No," Remus said, getting frustrated. "If you would only listen to me."
"Mooney, I don't want to break up the group, but I can't keep this a secret," Peter warned. "I have to tell someone."
"Pete," Remus began, sitting up, "just forget it. I shouldn't have told you. Pretend things are how they were."
"Things aren't how they were," Peter wheezed.
"Please don't tell anyone," Remus begged. "Do you want arguing and yelling? Do you want things to bust apart?"
"Mooney," Peter whined.
"Peter, you promised," Remus reminded. "You can't tell now."
Peter remained silent. Remus turned over and tried to go back to sleep. He had a bad feeling about this.
****************
Remus and Lily left the library after a lunch study session. Again, they found nothing of relevance.
"Maybe we should try some books involving Quidditch," Lily suggested. "After all, for every World Cup they set up portkeys."
"We'll try that after our last class," Remus said. "Meet you then?"
Lily nodded and walked off toward the Great Hall for a late lunch. Remus didn't feel like eating so he headed in the direction of Gryffindor tower. He could always look through his Charms book. He doubted such a spell would be in there, but he would look anyway.
"Favon Tabris," he said to the portrait.
As it swung open, a fist came out of nowhere and collided with Remus' face. He fell to the ground, his cheek throbbing with pain. He looked up to see who had done it. James stepped out of the portrait hole and glared down at him.
"What the heck, James?" Remus demanded.
"I thought you were my friend," James grumbled, closing his fists tightly for maybe another round.
"Wait!" Remus exclaimed. "What-"
Suddenly, Peter came out and hid behind James. He had ratted Remus out.
"James, I can explain," Remus insisted.
"There's nothing to say!" James shot at him.
There was a pause, in which Remus took the opportunity to stand up to look James in the eye.
"Did you think you could hide it from me?" James asked, the hint of tears in his voice.
"Believe me, we never meant for that to happen," Remus said, sadly.
"You're saying you just bumped lips?"
"No," Remus blurted.
"Then what?" James asked.
"We just...we were there and...," Remus couldn't think of how to explain it.
"That makes it alright," James said ironically.
"I'm sorry, James," Remus muttered.
"Save it!" James yelled. "I don't want to hear it."
"Can't someone make a mistake?" Remus asked.
James shook his head and started off down the hall.
"James," Remus called after him, "don't blame Lily. It was all me."
James gave Remus an unfriendly and obsene gesture. Remus turned away and looked at Peter. He suddenly squealed and ran back into the common room. Hesitantly, Remus followed. Peter was halfway up to the dormitories.
"Pete, come back here," Remus ordered calmly.
Peter turned back and slowly came back down the stairs.
"Don't hurt me," he whined.
"I'm not going to," Remus sighed, surprised that he wasn't more angry at him. "I'm glad it's over."
Peter gawked at Remus.
Remus dropped onto the couch, saying, "It's Lily I'm worried about."
"I'm sorry, Mooney," Peter insisted. "I must have ruined everything."
"No, I ruined everything," Remus scolded. "I told you a secret you shouldn't have been burdened with. I kissed Lily though she was James' girlfriend. I set them up. Everything is my fault."
At least things couldn't get worse.
**************
Remus found himself sitting on the main staircase that evening. He knew Lily wasn't going to come and study with him. There was way too much going on. But he still waited on the steps as if she were coming.
He heard footsteps coming quickly down the stairs. He jumped up and turned around. Lily stopped and stared at him. He had never seen her like this. Her eyes were fixed into a scowl and her lips quivered with anger.
"You jerk!" Lily yelled. "We agreed not to tell anyone!"
"We agreed not to tell James," Remus corrected, feeling this wrenching pain in his stomach.
"I can't believe you told that..that RODENT what happened," Lily scoffed, walking down to where Remus stood. "How could you have done such a thing to me?"
"He promised he wouldn't tell anyone," Remus assured her. "He's one of my best friends. I thought I could trust him."
"You ruined my life!" Lily exclaimed, beginning to cry. "How can I live now that James hates me so much?"
The words were like daggers. Each thing she said seemed to slice a wound into him, it hurt so much.
"Lily, if there was anything I could do to fix what I've done, I'd do it," Remus said quietly. "You wouldn't believe how sorry I am. I shouldn't have trusted Peter. I beg you to forgive me. I couldn't live if you stayed mad at me."
Lily turned frrm him and sat on the steps of the main staircase. Remus knelt in front of her, trying to look her in the eye, but her head was lowered.
"Please believe that I would never intentionally hurt you," Remus told her.
Lily looked up at him. Tears gleamed in her eyes and she had a slight smile.
"I care about you too deeply to stay mad," Lily admitted. "I just wish we could change this. But, really, what can we do?"
Remus sat beside her, saying, "We'll figure something out."
Lily slipped her arm around his waist and lay her head against his chest. Remus put his arm around her. When he looked up, there was James, standing and staring at them.
"James?" Remus muttered.
Lily looked up, and as she did, James ran off out the main entrance from the Entrance Hall. Lily jumped up and ran off after him. Remus wasn't sure what to do. He wanted to help Lily explain things, but he also thought they ought to be alone. He figured it would be best if James and Lily discussed it by themselves.
A/N: I guess it's apparent why this isn't one of my favorite chapters. I didn't really want to write this one, but it had to happen.
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, except Crauwel and Madam Epdac.
THE QUEEN OF MY HEART
Chapter Nineteen: All Will Come to Light
Remus and Lily spent all their free time for the next few weeks searching the library for something about portkeys. The card catalogue only suggested subjects to books and not the many different and complicated spells within them. It seemed so very hopeless that Remus felt he needed a break from it all. It so happened that Lily was due for a break herself.
"Found anything close?" Lily asked, dropping an old book, entitled "Spells for the Potential Master Wizard", onto the table Remus sat at.
"Nothing," Remus yawned, stretching out his back.
"I found the mention of portkeys, but nothing on setting them or unsetting them," Lily explained, tiredly. "Does it seem like we aren't getting anywhere?"
"'Course we're getting somewhere," Remus said quickly, leaning back in his chair. "We have determined which books do not contain what we need."
Lily kicked Remus' chair, causing him to loose balance and fall to the ground. Aside from a slight disorientation, Remus was alright. He just stared up at Lily as she knelt down beside him.
"I honestly don't think we can do this," Lily admitted, looking quite forlorn.
"Could you have faith in us just once?" Remus said, sitting up. "We're not the average sixth years. We have something no other students have."
"And what's that?" Lily asked in a discouraged whisper.
"A thousand books of text to our credit," Remus replied. "With all the spells we've scanned over, we could probably defeat ten Voldemorts."
"So that's the new plan?" Lily asked in jest. "Sounds good to me."
Lily and Remus laughed a little.
"Don't worry," Remus said comfortingly. "Everything is going to work out fine."
Lily smiled weakly and stood up.
"Back to the books," she groaned.
They spent several more hours there before heading off to Gryffindor tower, dragging their feet.
"We'll find it," Remus assured Lily, who looked like she was sleep walking, with her eyes closed.
She yawned in response.
"Want me to carry you?" Remus offered.
Lily nodded, without even opening her eyes.
Remus picked her up, across the alter style, and began to carry her. With her head laying on his shoulder, her hot breath was let out onto Remus' neck. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and shivers went down his arms. Despite this, Remus pressed on toward Gryffindor tower. As he approached the portrait hole, he let Lily down slowly.
"Asleep?" Remus asked as Lily leaned against him to keep standing.
"I wish," she muttered.
"Almost there," he assured her.
He said the password and helped Lily through the portrait hole. They went up to the dormitories.
"Can you make it to your room alone?" Remus asked.
"Sure," Lily said, pushing off from Remus and walking, off balance, down the hall.
Remus chuckled and went down the boys hall to his room. It was dark inside. Remus could barely find his own bed. He was sure that he got into Peter's bed for a moment, then found no one there.
"Well, if he wants it, he'll have to fight me for it," Remus mumbled as he let himself drift softly to sleep.
A mere few seconds went by before...
"Mooney...Mooney?"
Remus opened his eyes and let them adjust for a second. He was in his own bed, facing Peter's. Peter was propped up on his elbow and staring at Remus.
"Where've you been?" Peter demanded quietly.
"In the library," Remus told him grumpily. "Lily and I were-"
"Lily?" Peter gasped. "I thought you were going to stop seeing her."
"It wasn't like that," Remus insisted.
"Did you...kiss her again?" Peter asked.
"No," Remus said, getting frustrated. "If you would only listen to me."
"Mooney, I don't want to break up the group, but I can't keep this a secret," Peter warned. "I have to tell someone."
"Pete," Remus began, sitting up, "just forget it. I shouldn't have told you. Pretend things are how they were."
"Things aren't how they were," Peter wheezed.
"Please don't tell anyone," Remus begged. "Do you want arguing and yelling? Do you want things to bust apart?"
"Mooney," Peter whined.
"Peter, you promised," Remus reminded. "You can't tell now."
Peter remained silent. Remus turned over and tried to go back to sleep. He had a bad feeling about this.
****************
Remus and Lily left the library after a lunch study session. Again, they found nothing of relevance.
"Maybe we should try some books involving Quidditch," Lily suggested. "After all, for every World Cup they set up portkeys."
"We'll try that after our last class," Remus said. "Meet you then?"
Lily nodded and walked off toward the Great Hall for a late lunch. Remus didn't feel like eating so he headed in the direction of Gryffindor tower. He could always look through his Charms book. He doubted such a spell would be in there, but he would look anyway.
"Favon Tabris," he said to the portrait.
As it swung open, a fist came out of nowhere and collided with Remus' face. He fell to the ground, his cheek throbbing with pain. He looked up to see who had done it. James stepped out of the portrait hole and glared down at him.
"What the heck, James?" Remus demanded.
"I thought you were my friend," James grumbled, closing his fists tightly for maybe another round.
"Wait!" Remus exclaimed. "What-"
Suddenly, Peter came out and hid behind James. He had ratted Remus out.
"James, I can explain," Remus insisted.
"There's nothing to say!" James shot at him.
There was a pause, in which Remus took the opportunity to stand up to look James in the eye.
"Did you think you could hide it from me?" James asked, the hint of tears in his voice.
"Believe me, we never meant for that to happen," Remus said, sadly.
"You're saying you just bumped lips?"
"No," Remus blurted.
"Then what?" James asked.
"We just...we were there and...," Remus couldn't think of how to explain it.
"That makes it alright," James said ironically.
"I'm sorry, James," Remus muttered.
"Save it!" James yelled. "I don't want to hear it."
"Can't someone make a mistake?" Remus asked.
James shook his head and started off down the hall.
"James," Remus called after him, "don't blame Lily. It was all me."
James gave Remus an unfriendly and obsene gesture. Remus turned away and looked at Peter. He suddenly squealed and ran back into the common room. Hesitantly, Remus followed. Peter was halfway up to the dormitories.
"Pete, come back here," Remus ordered calmly.
Peter turned back and slowly came back down the stairs.
"Don't hurt me," he whined.
"I'm not going to," Remus sighed, surprised that he wasn't more angry at him. "I'm glad it's over."
Peter gawked at Remus.
Remus dropped onto the couch, saying, "It's Lily I'm worried about."
"I'm sorry, Mooney," Peter insisted. "I must have ruined everything."
"No, I ruined everything," Remus scolded. "I told you a secret you shouldn't have been burdened with. I kissed Lily though she was James' girlfriend. I set them up. Everything is my fault."
At least things couldn't get worse.
**************
Remus found himself sitting on the main staircase that evening. He knew Lily wasn't going to come and study with him. There was way too much going on. But he still waited on the steps as if she were coming.
He heard footsteps coming quickly down the stairs. He jumped up and turned around. Lily stopped and stared at him. He had never seen her like this. Her eyes were fixed into a scowl and her lips quivered with anger.
"You jerk!" Lily yelled. "We agreed not to tell anyone!"
"We agreed not to tell James," Remus corrected, feeling this wrenching pain in his stomach.
"I can't believe you told that..that RODENT what happened," Lily scoffed, walking down to where Remus stood. "How could you have done such a thing to me?"
"He promised he wouldn't tell anyone," Remus assured her. "He's one of my best friends. I thought I could trust him."
"You ruined my life!" Lily exclaimed, beginning to cry. "How can I live now that James hates me so much?"
The words were like daggers. Each thing she said seemed to slice a wound into him, it hurt so much.
"Lily, if there was anything I could do to fix what I've done, I'd do it," Remus said quietly. "You wouldn't believe how sorry I am. I shouldn't have trusted Peter. I beg you to forgive me. I couldn't live if you stayed mad at me."
Lily turned frrm him and sat on the steps of the main staircase. Remus knelt in front of her, trying to look her in the eye, but her head was lowered.
"Please believe that I would never intentionally hurt you," Remus told her.
Lily looked up at him. Tears gleamed in her eyes and she had a slight smile.
"I care about you too deeply to stay mad," Lily admitted. "I just wish we could change this. But, really, what can we do?"
Remus sat beside her, saying, "We'll figure something out."
Lily slipped her arm around his waist and lay her head against his chest. Remus put his arm around her. When he looked up, there was James, standing and staring at them.
"James?" Remus muttered.
Lily looked up, and as she did, James ran off out the main entrance from the Entrance Hall. Lily jumped up and ran off after him. Remus wasn't sure what to do. He wanted to help Lily explain things, but he also thought they ought to be alone. He figured it would be best if James and Lily discussed it by themselves.
A/N: I guess it's apparent why this isn't one of my favorite chapters. I didn't really want to write this one, but it had to happen.
