A/N: Wow, I'm deeply touched by everybody who reviewed my last fic, Waiting... It's just my first time here, really, but I am sooo happy to receive such reviews... I am inspired! I've written this so far, this is van's POV of that night... Thank you sooo much to everybody who reviewed... I really appreciate it...

I hope you forgive this one... I think Van's OOC here, but... well... please r&r... reviews are still very badly needed... thanks...

+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^

Title: In Silence
Author: domineko
Genre: angst/drama
Rating: PG or PG-10 due to some stuff smaller kids might not be able to comprehend (hey, I said *might*)

Disclaimer: I don't, in any way, own Tenkuu no Escaflowne or any of its characters. Everything under the category Escaflowne is owned by Shouji Kawamori.
+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^

I sighed. Yes, tonight's the night...

I looked out my window and saw the waves breaking off the shore. A fresh breeze blew through my curtains, making them sway like fluid clouds. The stars tonight are unusually bright. The moons were of total harmony... Yes, this night was beautiful. Too beautiful to be true.

I looked at the stars again. These were the same stars that looked down on us before. Before, when I woke up and hear her quiet sobs brought about in the still night. I would see silent tears soundlessly fall down her cheeks.

At first I thought of her as a highly shallow kind of girl, one who gets easily annoyed and one who could never understand other's feelings. I was wrong. I was very wrong.

I realized my mistake as I saw her painstakingly carry on crying each night. I never thought of her being so sensitive and vulnerable to pain. Not the physical type of pain that could be mended, the type of pain that could give you something etched on your heart.

I didn't exactly mind those sobs at first. But then, I began to sympathize with her, and her sentiments. I found myself waking up the moment I hear her faint voice in the middle of the night. I found myself sitting beside her, listening to her thoughts in silence and wiping away those wretched tears from her beautiful eyes.

I found myself, falling in love with this girl I barely knew...

I don't know what drew me to her. Her eyes, her smile, her voice... maybe. Her need of comfort, possibly. But what really drew me close to her was her tears, her pain and her bittersweet smiles that she had when I tried to comfort her every night.

But loving isn't heaven... It isn't heaven at all...

I remember very clearly how I felt everytime I see her cry. How could a girl with such beautiful, soulful eyes, shed tears so bitter? I felt my heart sink as I see her in so much pain and that I could provide only little comfort to her. The dagger that struck me when I first saw her cry would run deeper in my heart when I see her look longingly at the mystic moon, where she has come from, hoping to see the one she loved. I felt a terrible pain in my chest when she shows me her bittersweet smiles that were so full of love. I cursed my own helplessness and hopelessness. Why? Because all of these are not for me.

The pain, the tears, the smiles... They were all caused by a love she so dearingly hopes for. A love she so desperately longs that it hurts her deep inside. And like her, I would wake up the next morning to just face the fact that she would never be mine. I could hope for her, but never have her...

Whenever I see her every night, I would curse myself. I want to talk to her, tell her how much I loved her, provide her the comfort she so desperately needs and wipe all those wretched tears for good. But I never seem to come up with the courage to do so. I know it's stupid, but I'm afraid.

Yes, even if I've been from the bloodiest battles, or faced th fiercest dragons, I am still afraid. I'm afraid of losing the one I hold most dearest to me, losing her by hearing her turn me down, because I know, I just know, that she loves another.

I lay at my bed again and sighed. I've promised myself to tell her tonight. I promised myself never to see those cursed tears run down her face again, because of the one she most desperately loves. I promised that I'll protect and ease her from the pain that I never want to see in her eyes again. I /promised/.

I stood up and jumped off the window as cautiously as I could. I was late, very late. I saw the lonely figure reflecting the moonlight, sitting near the shore and watching the waves go by. I gathered everything I've got, and sat down beside her, keeping my view at the ocean.

Moments of silence followed, but she said nothing. I looked at her again, and as if by instinct, I said, 'Hitomi?'

I was surprised by my own words, wondering how in the world have I been able to say her name without stuttering awkwardly. I have felt myself weakening when I look at her in her devastated, quiet states where I seem to be of no comfort to her. She looked up at me, giving me a chance to gaze at her eyes, just once more. I felt another stab of pain thrust in me...

Those were the eyes that told me that she was in love...

She truly loved him...

'Do you have something to tell me, Van?' she asked in a quiet, timid voice. It was so soft, so small, that I hear it gently fluttering in my ears.

I looked out the ocean again. I didn't answer her question. I felt my throat dry up as I tried to speak, searching for words to say. But none came.

Again, I've failed to tell her how I really felt. Again, I would curse my own helplessness and cowardice for not being able to face my fear of losing her, though she was never really mine. But still, I could show her how much i loved her. I would show her in the silence I have always shared with her, every night, when she was in need. The silence that could be translated into a sweet phrase that i suppose, could content me, because this silence speaks of what i truly feel.

I love you, Hitomi.

+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^+^

Sorry if the fic is kind of unorganized or messy. I am not really the type who uses an outline or whatever in writing. When I have inspiration, I just go to a pc or laptop and start typing (which explains the obvious lack of preparation). I think it's a bit too angsty and confusing this time, but I hope that this fic is ok... I fear for it... Please, please, please, please review... Thank you so much...