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will be ALL MINE!! Until then, please content yourselves with this.
Chapter 4
Harry blinked. Surely he had not just heard what he thought he had heard. No, it was only his mind playing tricks on him, right? Better confirm that.
"Um. I'm sorry, Professor Snape, I don't think I heard you correctly. Can you please repeat that?"
"I said that I am your father, Harry."
No. This could not be happening. Harry's eyes flew wildly around the room, coming to a rest on Dumbledore. Surely, he would tell Harry this was all some horrible joke. But he wasn't; he just looked at Harry in a sympathetic sort of way. It was true. Merlin, it was true. Harry looked back at Snape; he'd never seen the man look so bad. He was shaking and looked like it was all he could do to stay on his feet. Had he just found out as well?
"How…how long?"
Snape's brow furrowed in confusion.
"How long have you known?" Harry was surprised at the steadiness of his own voice; he certainly did not feel steady.
Snape swallowed hard before replying, "I've known since the day your mother told me she was pregnant with you."
Harry was glad he was already sitting, since it saved him the trouble of falling into a chair or onto the floor. He felt deflated, as if someone had just punched him hard in the stomach. He couldn't seem to keep track of all the nearly incoherent thoughts ricocheting around inside his head.
My father. He's always known. He hates me; he's always hated me. I didn't have to grow up with the Dursleys. I didn't have to spend my first eleven years and the last four summers being starved, neglected, and worked to death. He knew and never told anyone! He didn't want me.
That was the one that seemed to stick and hurt the most.
My father didn't want me. Didn't want me. Didn't want me.
Harry was losing the battle against his churning emotions. He was vaguely aware of Dumbledore and Snape both staring at him, apparently awaiting his reaction.
"What? What do you want me to say?" Harry's voice came out hardly louder than a whisper.
"Am I supposed to jump into your arms now? Call you 'Dad'? Listen to you explain to me why it wouldn't have been safe for you to at least tell me? Listen to you explain why you forced me to endure those blasted Muggles for so long, letting me think that they were my only living relatives? How am I supposed to react to this? What do you want me to say?"
For the second time, perhaps in his entire life as far as Harry knew, Snape apologized, "I'm so sorry, Harry. I…I never meant to hurt you. I know I did. I'm sorry."
Snape slowly turned around and walked out of the office. Dumbledore watched him leave, his wizened face etched with sadness. He walked over to where Harry sat, pulled the unresisting boy to his feet and enveloped him in a hug. Harry realized he was crying.
"It's all right, dear boy, let it out. You've had quite a shock."
Harry pulled back to look into his Headmaster's blue eyes. "You knew, too, didn't you Professor?"
It was an accusation, and Dumbledore knew it. "Yes, Harry. I have known all along."
Harry broke free of Dumbledore's grip and turned away from him. The logical part of his mind insisted that there was a good reason for this. "Professor, why was I never told? Please tell me the truth, because I really don't think I can handle any more lies, even if they are for my protection. I just lost my identity; I don't know who I am anymore. Please sir, the truth."
Dumbledore inwardly marveled at the boy's strength of character. He had half-expected him to run out again. "Very well, Harry. You deserve the truth and you will get it; however, I am not the one to tell you. If I am not mistaken, I suspect your father is just outside the door."
Dumbledore had moved to the door as he spoke, and as he opened it, Snape stumbled in, looking startled and recovering his balance barely in time to avoid falling into the office. "Severus, your son is prepared to hear the truth. Would the two of you like to be alone, or do you want me to stay?"
Harry and Snape looked at each other. Snape nodded in deference to Harry. "Could you stay nearby, but not actually in here, sir?"
"Certainly, Harry. I will remain at the foot of the stairway until called for."
Harry suspected this was to keep either of them from running away again. Dumbledore left, shutting the heavy door behind him. Harry looked at Snape again; he was fidgeting and chewing his lip nervously.
"Well, You're waiting, so I suppose I had best get on with it." Snape looked down at his hands and sighed, then back up at Harry. "I know this will be upsetting, Harry, but please try not to interrupt. After I have finished, I will answer your questions to the best of my ability."
Harry nodded.
"All right then. First of all, I want you to know that I loved your mother. I loved her more than my own life. And I love you. I have always loved you, although I have never shown it. I never married your mother; we had an affair after she was already married. It was brief; the physical part of our relationship lasted only one weekend. We both knew it could never last, so we ended it after that weekend. She sent me a message two months later, saying she was with child. She was terrified of what her husband would say, let alone do, if he found out. She told me he would force her to terminate the pregnancy. I could not allow this to happen, not to her or to my unborn child. I told her to pretend it was her husband's child and that she had never met me, thinking that her husband would never know the difference. It was only later that I found out she was trying to get me to offer her marriage and a way out of her current unhappy situation."
Snape hesitated for a moment, then continued, in a slightly lower voice. "Although I did not know it at the time, Harry, it was because of my actions that you were mistreated for so long. I left. I thought that it would be easier for her if I just vanished. She never heard from me again after I told her to pretend you were fathered by her husband. The rest of the story I discovered after it was too late to do anything about it. Your mother carried you to term and delivered you in the usual way, but your appearance was so far removed from her husband's that she was unable to keep up that particular pretense. Instead, she told him that you were the product of a rape. This story he bought with no problem, since he was convinced of her undying faithfulness to him."
The last line was delivered with just a bit of Snape's trademark sarcasm, and a slight smirk.
"They hated you, Harry. For different reasons, but they were united in their hatred. Your mother hated you because she hated me for leaving. Her husband, obviously, because of what you represented to him. He convinced your mother that keeping you would be the worst possible thing they could do. The end result was that you were legally adopted by your aunt and uncle. They cherished you, although I'm sure you don't remember. After their untimely and violent demise, you were returned to your mother, under the guise of being her nephew. That secret has been kept by me and Professor Dumbledore for all these years. Snape paused and looked at Harry strangely, almost expectantly.
"There, Harry, are the pieces of your life. I will leave you to put together the puzzle."
Harry had grown paler with each revealed secret. He knew what Snape was saying. He didn't want it to be true, but it made too much sense. His aunt and uncle hating him all this time, the Sorting Hat wanting to put him in Slytherin rather than Gryffindor; it all made sense. The only thing he could not figure out was why his father had treated him so cruelly all this time.
"You are my father…and Aunt, no, Petunia Dursley is my mother." Harry was cold with shock and dizzy with this new knowledge. He tried to stand up, stumbled toward Snape, and crumpled to the ground in a dead faint.
