Title: Present Dilemmas
Author: Kate
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine just borrowing them
Note: This is the sequel to Past Imperfections and you'll probably need to read that for this to make sense.
Feedback: Would be very much appreciated
"Toby if you don't finish polishing that speech right now we are going to be late for dinner and as this is the first time I have actually been hungry for three weeks - you aren't going to want to keep me waiting" CJ said as she walked into her fiancées office and sat on his couch.
"Ah hmm" Toby made what he thought was the appropriate noise and kept typing. CJ stood and closed the office door, walked over to his laptop and shut the lid. "What did you do that for?" he grumbled.
"I am pregnant and I am hungry - you do not want to mess with me tonight" she told him menacingly.
Toby got up and wrapped his arms around CJ, still unable to believe how happy he was. "I'll mess around with you any time" he whispered in her ear.
"I said mess with me not mess around you fool but if you feed me soon I might be able to accommodate you later" she told him huskily. She was amazed how she had gone from feeling sick all the time and not wanting Toby anywhere near her to constantly being hungry for food and sex.
"What time are we meeting them?" Toby asked as he grabbed his coat and rested his hand in the small of CJ's back as he guided her out of the office and to their car.
"About ten minutes ago" she laughed. "You have managed to remember we have the amniocentesis booked for tomorrow haven't you" her tone becoming serious, letting him know how nervous she was.
He knew she was worried about the test but he was more worried about the risk of having the test more than it's results. He knew in his heart everything would be fine with their baby. "Of course I've remembered and everything is going to be just fine - I promise. I have good feelings about this little one" he said stroking her belly.
"Don't do that" she swatted his arm away "people will work it out. I'm sure they already suspect something with that goofy grin you have on your face all the time" she told him.
"Well I hate to break it to you, you're sixteen weeks pregnant, I think in the not to distant future they are probably going to be able to work it out just by looking at you" he laughed at the shocked expression on her face. "Don't worry I can tell, but I doubt anybody else would be able to yet" he told her reassuringly.
"When we have the results back, then we'll tell everybody" she said quietly.
Fifteen minutes later they were seated at a table with David, Elizabeth and Hogan. Although they had seen Hogan a couple of times since they had returned from their trip three weeks ago this was the first time all five of them had been together since CJ and Toby met them at the airport.
"Well you two let's cut straight to it, when's the wedding?" David asked as soon as they sat down.
CJ and Toby looked at each other blankly
"You know, we haven't even talked about it" CJ said suddenly thinking that maybe they should have. Everybody at work was either too busy to even remember they were engaged or still in a state of shock that they had been together for so long and no-one knew. No-one had actually asked when the wedding would be. But then again no-one at work knew CJ was pregnant because if they did she could guarantee the President and Leo would be on their back until they set a date.
"Sooner rather than later, we were planning to talk about it tonight" Toby said quietly. CJ gave his hand a grateful squeeze.
"So how have you been feeling Claudia, over the morning sickness yet?" Elizabeth asked.
"Yeah I seem to have stopped spending most of my day in the ladies room, the pregnancy seems to have shifted into a new phase now" she smiled seductively at Toby.
"Oh God you and Toby are going to be having sex all the time aren't you?"
"What!!!!" all four adults said at the same time as they looked at a completely innocent looking Hogan.
"Well this baby is important to me - I want to be involved so, you know, I've been reading".
"We should never have sent her to school" David groaned looking at Elizabeth.
"Well you did and there's no going back now" Hogan smiled at her father. "Anyway as I was saying this baby is really important to me and I want it to know I'm it's sister, so CJ and Toby, if it's okay with you I am going to start calling you mom and dad".
Toby looked over at David thinking this would be killing the other man to have his daughter suddenly wanting to call another man dad. But he was surprised to see David smiling.
"Mom and dad thought it was a good idea. I know it will get a bit confusing but I figure you lot have six degrees between the four of you - if you cant work it out heaven help higher education".
"Well I would be honoured to have you call me dad" said Toby feeling a tear in his eye. As he looked over at CJ he could see tears streaming down her face as she smiled at Hogan.
Hogan and Toby smiled as they looked first at CJ and then at each other and said at the same time "hormones".
..................
"Toby...Toby" Carol called as he walked past. Not really wanting to know or caring what Carol had to tell him he turned to face her.
"What?" he sighed
"CJ's got a call from GW but she's in a briefing - you want to take it, or you want me to get her out?" she said.
If GW were calling CJ they may have bad news regarding the amnio, if that were the case he wanted the news to come from him not some faceless lab technician, she had been so stressed about the results he wanted to protect her as much as possible. "I'll take it" he said as he grabbed the phone from Carol.
Toby identified himself and as he listened to what the hospital worker was saying the blood drained from his face. He hung up the phone feeling like he was moving on autopilot "Get CJ out of the briefing NOW and let Leo know we'll both be out for the rest of the day".
He had no idea how he was going to tell her this, it was only two weeks ago all five of them had been laughing having dinner together and now because of some stupid drunk driver Elizabeth was dead and David and Hogan were fighting for their lives.
They made it to GW in record time. CJ was still numb from what Toby had told her. Elizabeth had died instantly. She would never see her sister in law again, Hogan had lost her mother.
The nurse took them straight through to David. CJ went straight to his side and gently took his hand in hers. The doctor pulled Toby aside and told him there was nothing they could do for David it was just a matter of time. Toby looked at CJ, his heart going out to her and what she was about to go through.
CJ leaned in close to David so she could be sure he heard her "Don't you dare die, your daughter needs you and I need you, you're my big brother, I need you to teach me how to be a good parent" tears streamed down her face.
His voice was a hoarse whisper, talking to her was taking what little energy he had left. "You always would have been a good parent Claudia" he tried to smile at her "you gave her to us when she was born now it's time to give her back, take care of her and tell.. her... I... love... her" he gasped as the final breath left his body. CJ put her head on his chest and cried until she felt Toby's hand drop gently to her shoulder.
"I need to see Hogan" she said forcefully as though gathering all her strength for what she had to do.
The nurse took them to Hogan's room explaining that she had been lucky and only had superficial wounds. CJ wondered at how losing both your parents could ever be considered a superficial wound but kept quiet.
They found the young girl lying on her bed staring at the ceiling. "Hogan?" CJ said quietly, not letting go of the death grip she had on Toby's hand.
"They're dead aren't they?" she said in a monotone voice.
"I'm so sorry honey, there was nothing they could do" details could come later. She moved to stroke Hogan's face but the girl rolled away from her. "Toby and I are here for you - you're not alone" she tried to console her but the teenager made no indication she had even heard CJ. "Well I guess you just want to be alone for a bit - you just let the nurse know if you want us otherwise we'll be back tonight".
There was still no response from Hogan. It was killing Toby to see the vibrant teenager shutting them out. He knew she needed to share her pain and he knew they were all about to face some major changes in their life he just hoped they were all up to it.
......................
CJ and Toby were now Hogan's legal guardians. Hogan however, had barely spoken to them since she was told of her parents death. The counsellor had told CJ and Toby this wasn't unusual especially with everything else she had gone through in the last few weeks. But that didn't stop both of them worrying about how she would adjust to living with them.
CJ spent the next week burying herself in work. She had insisted on organising the funerals herself and was planning to take two weeks off work when they bought Hogan home from hospital in a couple of days time.
"CJ what the hell do you think you're doing!" Toby exclaimed as he saw his pregnant fiancée standing on a chair reaching for a folder on the top shelf of her bookcase.
"God Toby you scared the crap outta me" she yelled at him as she climbed down having retrieved the folder "What did it look like I was doing, I was getting a folder".
"I'm sorry I scared you" he said sincerely "I just don't want you climbing on chairs when you're pregnant"
CJ sank into her desk chair with a look of shock on her face "I am aren't I, pregnant I mean, in everything that has happened you know I'd forgotten"
"Yeah you are" he walked over and kissed her on the forehead.
"So other than needing to yell at me" she smiled "whatya want?"
"I thought we could ring and get the amnio results" he said "they said they'd be ready today.
CJ looked at him, worry written all over her face. "I don't know if I can handle any more at the moment" she confessed "if there's something wrong....." she left the rest of the sentence unspoken.
Toby wrapped his arms around her wanting to shelter and protect her knowing she would never let him because she would never let herself be that vulnerable to anyone, even him.
"Do you want me to call?" he asked hoping she would let him take some of the weight from her shoulders.
"Yeah" she sighed.
As Toby listened to the doctor his face broke into a brilliant smile and CJ let out the breath she didn't even know she had been holding. "The baby is fine" he told her as he hung up the phone and pulled her into a tight embrace.
"And." CJ asked once he had finished kissing her.
"And what?" he grinned mischievously, knowing exactly what she was asking.
"You know what" she said.
"How much do you love me?"
"I love you enough not to choke you if you don't tell me in the next ten seconds.
Toby leaned in and whispered in her ear "a girl".
.......................
"Tell me again why we're all having dinner in the residence" Toby grumbled as they walked towards the Presidents private area.
""Because I'm about to go on two weeks leave and the President thought he was doing something nice by having the senior staff up for dinner" she sighed "he's probably going to want to grill us about when the wedding is - can you imagine how bad he would have been if he knew I was pregnant". She was exhausted and all she really wanted to do was go home and soak in a bubble bath and have Toby massage her feet.
"Speaking of which, we do need to discuss a wedding date and we do need to tell everyone you're pregnant" Toby said as he grasped her wrist and stopped her from walking.
"Toby, with everything that's happened and Hogan moving in we really can't have a wedding at the moment" she shut her eyes as she sighed and missed the look of disappointment on Toby's face. He wanted them married as soon as possible but he didn't want to add anymore stress to her life at the moment so he didn't push the issue. "As for telling everyone - we can do it tonight if you want. I can't do any of my clothes up so I doubt I'll be able to hide it by the time I get back to work" she sighed ruefully and Toby grinned "Don't get too happy there Pokey, one of the things I plan to do while I'm off is max out your credit card buying maternity clothes"
"What's wrong with maxing out your credit card, after all, they are clothes for you".
"The way I see it is, you got me into this condition oh virile one, the least you can do is pay for the new wardrobe"
"Up to your limit again CJ" he smiled knowing what the answer was, as she turned and walked towards the residence leaving him to smile at the way her ass was swaying - God he loved that woman even if she was the most fiscally irresponsible person he had ever known.
Half an hour later they were all seated at the dining table. CJ was pleased to see Abby was there - they didn't get to see each other socially much these days and CJ missed the older woman's frank brand of friendship.
The stewards began to serve the smoked salmon entrée and CJ took one look at the orange fish on her plate, turned green and announced she was going to be sick as she ran out of the room.
Everyone sat there staring at the door CJ ran out of for several seconds in stunned shock at her uncharacteristic actions. The President was the first to recover. He turned to Toby with a serious look on his face "Toby, is there any chance you may have gotten my Press Secretary pregnant?" he asked sternly.
Toby looked him in the eye "No" he said waiting a beat "but there's every chance I got my fiancé pregnant" he announced trying to subtly let the president know this was really none of his business.
The Presidents face had a thunderous look on it. He and Toby had always argued when it came to matters of principle and the Catholic President definitely felt this was a matter of principle.
"Well while you two prepare to duke it out over CJ's virtue I think I'll go and see how she is" Abby said hoping her words would diffuse the situation.
Before she could rise from the table CJ entered the room looking pale and before anyone could say anything she said to all of them but looked pointedly at the President "Yes I'm pregnant and yes we are very happy about it and no we have not set a date for the wedding and yes you will all know when we do" her eyes were defiant, daring the President to say any more on the topic.
She was rewarded with a smile. "Well then I believe congratulations are in order" he said as he kissed her cheek.
"Wow you've got like a whole person inside you" Josh said looking at her in amazement.
"Yeah" CJ smiled at him feeling the wonder of being pregnant for the first time, somehow it made it so much more real now that other people knew.
.......................
The next day they bought Hogan home from the hospital. The teenager had barely spoken since the accident and CJ was unsure how to deal with her.
They had converted their office to a room for Hogan and both saw the look of dismay on her face as they showed it to her. Toby knew she felt like a guest in the house and realised he and CJ were going to have to look for something bigger. Hogan was now a permanent part of their lives and they had a baby on the way - they absolutely needed a bigger house and soon.
Toby put his arm around the young girls shoulder and whispered in her ear "it's only temporary".
CJ spent two weeks trying to break through all the barriers Hogan had erected since the accident. They had been shopping, to the movies, they had even looked at few houses but nothing seemed to work. By the end of the second week CJ was at her wits end.
"I can't help you if you don't talk to me" CJ said gently but firmly.
Hogan spun around glaring at CJ "Did it ever occur to you I don't want your help" she yelled "I want my mom and dad back, my real mom and dad. It was fun to think of you and Toby as another set of parents while they were here but you can never replace them" she raged. CJ moved to take the girl in her arms. Hogan resisted at first and then sobbed into CJ's chest "I want my mom and dad back".
"I know, I know, I want them back too, but they're gone and we need to work out how we can move on without them" CJ consoled the girl in her arms wondering how they were going to do that. They sat there for over half an hour while Hogan cried for the first time.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you before, I really am grateful to you and Toby for taking me in" Hogan said once the sobs had subsided.
CJ looked at Hogan shocked "You have absolutely nothing to be grateful for. You are family, even if it is a bit of an unconventional one, there is nowhere else we would let you be. Toby and I love you very much and if at times it's all a bit overwhelming just remember that and we'll be okay".
"Thanks CJ" Hogan said as she dried her eyes. CJ noted she had stopped calling her mom the minute she heard Elizabeth had died and understood why, she was just glad Hogan was talking at all.
That night as CJ crawled into bed with Toby she told him of the afternoons conversation, he leaned over and kissed her forehead and whispered in her ear "welcome to motherhood".
.................
Three months later they had all settled into an uneasy existence together. They had found a house and moved which meant Hogan had her own room again and as CJ mentioned to Toby she seemed to spend most of her time in there. Toby told her to stop worrying and remember what it was like to be seventeen. CJ's response was to tell him that was exactly why she was worried.
"CJ I have Hogan's school on line one" Carol told her.
This can't be good CJ thought as she picked up the phone. The principal quickly told CJ the situation, Hogan had been caught smoking and as this was the third time, she had been suspended for a week.
"We'll be right there" CJ sighed hoping Toby was in his office, she had been feeling exhausted all week and really wasn't up to a confrontation with Hogan, Toby was much better at dealing with the teenager, he seemed to have a much easier relationship with her than she did.
The minute they were alone in the car CJ voiced her worries "What are we going to do, she barely speaks to me, she spends most of her time locked away in her bedroom - what if it's more than smoking what if she's doing drugs?"
"CJ calm down - she got caught smoking it's not the end of the world - she's a teenager who has been through a huge upheaval in the last few months she's testing us to see how far she can go before we reign her in"
"Well she can consider herself reigned!"
The drive home was silent. CJ was fuming that she had been made to feel like she was back in high school by having to sit in the principals office and listen to the woman tell her what she was doing wrong as a parent. Hogan was fuming because she had never been more embarrassed in her life having CJ and Toby march her out of school in the middle of lunch. And Toby sat there thinking how much alike the two women in his life were and prayed that his new daughter took after him.
The minute they walked through the front door CJ found her voice "Just what do you think you were doing young lady - smoking at school. Toby and I have had to take the afternoon off work to get you and now one of us is going to have to organise a week off work while you are suspended. I know you've been through a lot in the last couple of months and I have tried to help you but every time I speak to you you shut me out - well guess what - things are going to change around here"
Hogan spun around her eyes shining with anger "Okay if things are going to change, how about this for a change, how about I move out because I honestly think you wouldn't notice - you obviously don't want me here, I'm asleep when you get home from work and I'm still asleep when you leave in the morning - I miss doing stuff with my mom and dad on weekends - you are always at work you haven't made any effort to fit me into your life" she cried "what are you planning to do when this baby comes along - deliver it in the middle of a briefing - because if that's the case maybe you should start looking for someone to give her away to" Hogan sobbed as she ran from the room leaving a stunned CJ looking after her.
CJ was under no illusions that the whole speech had been aimed at her and she began to shake uncontrollably. Toby moved to try and comfort her. He was torn between comforting the woman he loved and going to his daughter who was obviously hurting far deeper than any of them had thought.
CJ shrugged him off and told him to go to Hogan. She sat on the couch and the tears began to roll down her face, knowing there was an element of truth to everything Hogan had said, she really was a lousy mother and, as she put her hand on her huge stomach, she thought she was about to screw up another life.
.....................
Things were very strained for the next month. CJ had no idea how to relate to Hogan. Every time she tried to talk to her Hogan gave her the cold shoulder. It hadn't made things any easier when Leo insisted Toby take the week off for Hogan's suspension. He didn't have as much on as CJ and he could work from home.
This just seemed to reinforce everything Hogan had said about CJ putting her career above her family and it didn't help when CJ began to think Hogan was right. She had no idea how she was going to juggle her job and a baby and she was beginning to think maybe she couldn't.
All the stress of her home life was beginning to take it's toll. Toby had tried to talk to her but she was shutting him out - he knew it wasn't intentional, it was just her way of coping, but when she passed out after giving a briefing he knew something had to be done so he called in reinforcements.
Abby appeared at CJ's door the next afternoon and told her she was there to kidnap her for a girly afternoon in the residence.
"Sorry Abby I have a ton of work to get through"
"Nonsense I have cleared this with Leo and quite frankly if you don't get your belly and you butt up to the residence in ten minutes my husband will fire you" she joked but CJ knew better than to argue.
Once they were seated and been served afternoon tea Abby began to speak "CJ you look terrible, Toby tells me you're barely eating and Hogan has been giving you a really hard time - why haven't you come to talk to me?"
CJ sighed "I have thought about it ma'am....wait Toby told you I haven't been eating - I gonna kill him" she fumed.
"Calm down there girl - he came to me because he was worried about you and frankly, so is everybody else who works with you. You won't talk to him so he was hoping you might talk to me".
CJ sat there with her best press secretary face on, trying not to cry but eventually the tears began to stream down her face "Oh Abby everything is such a mess" and she told Abby everything that had been going on, from Hogan being her and Toby's daughter to Hogan's raging at her about how her work comes first and that she is going to be a rotten mother to this baby.
"Well now that you're done feeling sorry for yourself let's see what we can do about the situation" Abby said frankly. CJ looked at her through teary eyes and smiled for the first time in weeks.
"For a start, forget what Hogan said - she's seventeen and was in a snit about being suspended, I can guarantee she probably only said most of it to get a rise out of you" CJ began to protest but Abby silenced her "trust me I've been through this three times"
"I'd love to forget what she said, the trouble is a lot of it was pretty accurate" CJ said quietly "I have been putting my work first and I don't have any idea how I'm going to juggle this job and a baby".
"Well lets deal with the easy part first - you'll take as much time as you want after the baby is born then, when you come back to work, you will hire a nanny and there will be a nursery set up here and there will be enough people around to help you whenever you need it - trust me we all know you're value to this administration, we are going to do everything in our power to make this work"
"Thankyou" CJ said simply as the knot in her stomach began to unravel.
"Now as for Hogan - CJ she just wants to know where she fits in with you and Toby. She needs to know she is loved and part of a family. Sure, you could probably try and be home with her a bit more, maybe spend a bit less time here on weekends but the thing that would work the best would be if you and Toby quit dancing around a date and just got married" CJ looked up at her friends sharp tone.
"Sorry?"
"Oh you heard me - get married, become a family - let her know she belongs"
"Abby I'm six months pregnant Toby and I just assumed we would wait until after the baby came"
"You may have assumed that but I think you should have a long talk with your fiancée - and soon."
It took a minute for what Abby had said to sink in "Oh murder is too good for him, why the hell didn't he talk to me!"
"CJ, honey, you haven't exactly been approachable lately and he probably thought he was doing the right thing by keeping quiet on the subject".
"Oh trust me Toby Zeigler and I are about to have a long talk and I can guarantee there isn't going to be anything quiet about it".
.....................
CJ stalked past Josh with a murderous expression on her face. Josh breathed a sigh of relief, glad that he wasn't on the receiving end of her anger for once.
She walked straight to Toby's office and slammed the door behind her causing him to jump.
"What can I do for you sweetheart" he said sweetly, hoping he wasn't about to get chewed out for something.
"Don't you sweetheart me you lily livered coward - why the hell didn't you tell me you wanted to get married before I give birth to this watermelon!"
"First, I object to you referring to our daughter as a watermelon and second, think of what you have been through in the last six months - do you really think I would add to all the strain you've been under by telling you I want a wedding". He gently rubbed his hands up and down her arms in a soothing motion.
"Toby there is a big difference between getting married and having a wedding - you're right I couldn't organise a wedding, but you know if you just wanted to go somewhere and get married - well lets just say I think it would be a good thing for all of us".
Toby's face lit up like a child on Christmas morning, and CJ felt a wave of guilt wash over her that she had been so absorbed in her own problems that she had no idea how much it meant to him to be married before the baby came. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply.
"What was that for?" he asked shocked, usually they tried to keep displays of affection out of the office.
"Just to tell you how much I love you" she smiled at him, her features more relaxed than he had seen in a long time. As she was walking out of his office she turned to him "you know for two people who make a living working in communications we really sucked at it on this one".
Later that day CJ and Toby were both called to the Oval Office to be greeted by the President and First Lady.
"CJ, Toby, come sit down" the President commanded. CJ and Toby looked at each other questioningly not knowing why they were there. "CJ, Abby told me about your talk this afternoon and I assume from the rumours I've heard about screaming coming from Toby's office that you two have sorted this out"
"Yes sir - Toby and I are planning to get married as soon as we can" CJ answered on behalf of both of them, mildly embarrassed that her yelling had been overheard.
"Good, good always like to see a wedding certificate before the kids"
"Yeah about that sir" Toby began not sure how much CJ had told Abby about Hogan "well you see sir CJ and I go back a long way as you know, and well CJ's niece Hogan is actually our daughter. It's a long story that I don't think CJ wants to get into right now" he said taking her hand in his and seeing the appreciative smile on her face and therefore missing the outraged expression on the Presidents.
"God Toby where the hell is your sense of responsibility, are there anymore children in your past or have you managed to limit yourself to just getting CJ pregnant?" the President raged.
"With all due respect sir, I didn't know Hogan was my daughter until recently an believe me when I say CJ is the only person I ever plan to get pregnant"
"Well then the Rose garden in two weeks" Abby announced "give a list of guests to Lily and I'll get everything organised"
CJ smiled, if she had known getting married would be this easy she would have done it months ago.
They told Hogan about the wedding that night and the teenager showed more enthusiasm than she had for anything in months.
"Finally we're going to be a proper family" she said as she hugged them both.
That night as CJ crawled into bed beside Toby and moved into his warm embrace she whispered "I'm sorry" in his ear.
"Sorry, sorry for what?" he asked confused.
"For making everybody miserable because I wouldn't set a wedding date, sorry for being as self absorbed as Hogan, sorry for not seeing that the two people I love most were hurting because of me"
"CJ you have nothing to be sorry for - you were grieving just like Hogan was, yes she lost her parents but you lost a brother and we got thrown together as a family before any of us had a chance to get over that. We've been muddling through, but I feel like we're coming out of it now and we're going to be okay" he reassured her.
"I love you - watermelon here, is one lucky baby to have you as a father"
Toby gently caressed her stomach "Now what have I told you about calling her a watermelon - she's at least the size of a basketball" he laughed into her neck and began to run his hand up CJ's thigh.
In a room down the hall Hogan heard the laughing and thought to herself, they're at it again - it really would be a miracle if she didn't end up with half a dozen brothers and sisters - and she smiled at the thought.
.....................
It was raining. Of course it was raining CJ thought, it was her wedding day and with everything they had been through in the last few months it seemed almost poetic that it should be bucketing down on the day she and Toby were finally to become man and wife.
CJ, Toby and Hogan had spent the night at the residence so they didn't have to rush around and so the press couldn't get so much as a glimpse of the big day.
There had been a fair amount of media attention since CJ threw the news of her and Toby's wedding out with the trash the previous Friday but Abby was determined to keep it a private affair and had gone as far as instructing the secret service to arrest any member of the press who ventured near the wedding.
"Oh CJ it's raining on your wedding day!" Hogan said with dismay as she entered the room.
"You know, I really don't care" she said with complete honesty "I've waited nearly twenty years to marry that adorable, uptight pain in the ass and I'm not going to let a little rain ruin my day" she told Hogan grinning from ear to ear.
"Ooookaay" Hogan said slowly "but you know they're talking flooding, some of the guests may not make it"
"Sweetie, as long as you and Toby are here I really don't care who else makes it". She hugged Hogan to her amazed at the difference in the girl since they decided to get married.
"CJ, I just wanted to say..." she stopped mid sentence, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yeah"
"Did the baby just kick me?"
"Yep"
"Wow - does it hurt when she does that?"
"Not when she kicks like that - when she decides to do yoga at three am it's a different story - her favourite position, 'feet in mommy's lung' hurts like hell".
"It's just hit me that my baby sister is in there" she said resting her hand on CJ's stomach. "I'm sorry I've been such a bitch to you over the last few months - I've said some horrible things to you and I really don't know how you've forgiven me but you have and I want you to know I love you".
CJ hugged her daughter tighter "there is nothing to forgive - you were hurting - I understand that, I was hurting too. I'm just so relieved you are finally talking to me again - I missed you kiddo"
"I missed you too" Hogan said as her eyes started to tear up.
"Is this just a girly thing or can I join in?" Toby asked as he entered the room.
"Toby!" Hogan yelled "Get out you can't see CJ before the wedding"
"Hogan, honey, where do you think I slept last night?" he said slowly.
It took a moment for his words to sink in "God, can't you two even keep your hands off each other the night before your wedding?" she laughed "what happened to tradition?"
"Well there was you, and this little one" he said rubbing CJ's stomach "tradition pretty much went out the window after that"
"Well it looks like I'll have to be the traditional one in the family - Toby get out, CJ and I have to get ready"
"Toby smiled over Hogan's head at CJ, they were both touched at her use of the word family. "Yes boss".
...............
The rain had stopped by the time the ceremony began and it left a shimmer on the roses that would look spectacular in the photos.
Toby couldn't believe how beautiful CJ looked, big belly and all. He didn't care that she threatened him with death if there was even one photo of her below the neck - she looked radiant and glowing and all the other clichés he thought people made up to describe pregnant women.
The ceremony went off without a hitch and in front of their forty guests CJ and Toby finally became man and wife.
Abby had organised a sit down reception for them and the President insisted on making a speech.
"I promise I'll keep this brief" he began and everyone in the room groaned knowing the President had no idea how to speak briefly "I just want to say that CJ you make a beautiful bride and I'm sure Toby doesn't deserve you but if anyone can keep him in line it's you - I wish you both much happiness. I believe Hogan would like to say a few words."
Hogan rose and began nervously but it soon became obvious she had inherited her mother's poise in front of a crowd.
"Not many of you know CJ and Toby are my parents" she paused briefly to let this sink in "in fact I only found out recently myself, but I just wanted to tell you all how proud I am to be their daughter and how much I love them both. I haven't been the easiest person to live with for the past few months but regardless of what I have said and done they have been there for me. So I just want to let them know as my honeymoon gift I won't be there for them, so guys, make as much noise as you want - I'll be home on Monday!" she raised her glass as she finished and everybody burst out laughing as Toby and CJ sat there plotting ways to murder their offspring.
..............................
After the wedding things had changed dramatically for the Zeigler family. CJ and Toby had made a concentrated effort to spend less time at work and more time at home. Hogan had begun calling them mom and dad again and had decided to add Zeigler as a second last name. She had told them it was so the baby wouldn't be confused when she was growing up but CJ and Toby both knew it had helped to make her feel part of the family.
CJ went on maternity leave three weeks before her due date. She thought she would be more depressed about leaving her job, even for a short period of time but knowing she would be back helped and she found she was looking forward to spending the next three months at home being a wife and mother.
...............................
It had been a long and exhausting fourteen hours of labour. But as she cradled her baby daughter in her arms she knew it was worth it.
Toby had wanted to rush her to the hospital the minute she told him about the contractions - she'd known he'd be like that which was why she hadn't told him about them for the first three hours.
By the time CJ was having trouble breathing through the contractions she agreed it was time for them to wake Hogan and head to the hospital. Hogan had asked after the wedding if she could be present at the birth and they had both been enthusiastic. Toby thought it would be a great bonding experience for Hogan to see the birth of her sister, CJ had thought it would be a great way to put Hogan off ever having sex.
CJ knew she couldn't have done it without Toby - he held her hand throughout the whole labour and only moved from her side long enough to cut the cord. As they handed the baby to CJ, Toby walked over to Hogan and put his hands on her shoulders. She was still holding CJ's hand like she never wanted to let go of this moment.
"So, you got your wish big sister" Toby said as he dropped a kiss on the top of her head.
Hogan couldn't take her eyes off CJ "I can't believe you did that - you were in so much pain and now. now we have this beautiful little baby"
CJ eyed the baby critically "She is beautiful - she looks just like you did"
"Really?" tears shone in Hogan's eyes.
"Oh yeah - I'm so glad you were here to see this"
"You only wanted me to see it so I wouldn't have sex and get pregnant" the teenager laughed.
"God you are like me, you can read my mind" CJ laughed looking at Toby and then turned to Hogan and said with mock seriousness "so did it work?"
"Oh yeah - you don't have to worry about becoming grandparents for a long while yet".
Later that night CJ and Toby went to the nursery to visit their baby daughter. It had been an exhausting day, not only had they bought a new person into the world they had then had to show her off to the entire West Wing staff who had made their way to the hospital throughout the day.
As they entered the nursery they stopped at the sight before them. Hogan was sitting in one of the chairs cuddling the baby and talking to her softly. Toby and CJ could just make out what she was saying.
"You know you're one lucky little baby Claire Zeigler, you get to be part of the best family in the world, we're a bit weird but trust me you wouldn't want it any other way. I got to grow up with a cool Aunt CJ - you get to have her as a mother and get to have me as a cool big sister. We couldn't ask for better parents". She dropped little kisses on the baby's head. Toby and CJ were so moved by what Hogan had said they moved over to her and before she knew they were even there they had wrapped her in a tight embrace.
"We love you too kiddo" Toby said gazing at his two daughters.
"We love you too" Hogan told him "but be warned, Claire and I have already begun plotting how we can keep you two on your toes" she laughed.
"I don't doubt it" Toby sighed ruefully.
The End
Author: Kate
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine just borrowing them
Note: This is the sequel to Past Imperfections and you'll probably need to read that for this to make sense.
Feedback: Would be very much appreciated
"Toby if you don't finish polishing that speech right now we are going to be late for dinner and as this is the first time I have actually been hungry for three weeks - you aren't going to want to keep me waiting" CJ said as she walked into her fiancées office and sat on his couch.
"Ah hmm" Toby made what he thought was the appropriate noise and kept typing. CJ stood and closed the office door, walked over to his laptop and shut the lid. "What did you do that for?" he grumbled.
"I am pregnant and I am hungry - you do not want to mess with me tonight" she told him menacingly.
Toby got up and wrapped his arms around CJ, still unable to believe how happy he was. "I'll mess around with you any time" he whispered in her ear.
"I said mess with me not mess around you fool but if you feed me soon I might be able to accommodate you later" she told him huskily. She was amazed how she had gone from feeling sick all the time and not wanting Toby anywhere near her to constantly being hungry for food and sex.
"What time are we meeting them?" Toby asked as he grabbed his coat and rested his hand in the small of CJ's back as he guided her out of the office and to their car.
"About ten minutes ago" she laughed. "You have managed to remember we have the amniocentesis booked for tomorrow haven't you" her tone becoming serious, letting him know how nervous she was.
He knew she was worried about the test but he was more worried about the risk of having the test more than it's results. He knew in his heart everything would be fine with their baby. "Of course I've remembered and everything is going to be just fine - I promise. I have good feelings about this little one" he said stroking her belly.
"Don't do that" she swatted his arm away "people will work it out. I'm sure they already suspect something with that goofy grin you have on your face all the time" she told him.
"Well I hate to break it to you, you're sixteen weeks pregnant, I think in the not to distant future they are probably going to be able to work it out just by looking at you" he laughed at the shocked expression on her face. "Don't worry I can tell, but I doubt anybody else would be able to yet" he told her reassuringly.
"When we have the results back, then we'll tell everybody" she said quietly.
Fifteen minutes later they were seated at a table with David, Elizabeth and Hogan. Although they had seen Hogan a couple of times since they had returned from their trip three weeks ago this was the first time all five of them had been together since CJ and Toby met them at the airport.
"Well you two let's cut straight to it, when's the wedding?" David asked as soon as they sat down.
CJ and Toby looked at each other blankly
"You know, we haven't even talked about it" CJ said suddenly thinking that maybe they should have. Everybody at work was either too busy to even remember they were engaged or still in a state of shock that they had been together for so long and no-one knew. No-one had actually asked when the wedding would be. But then again no-one at work knew CJ was pregnant because if they did she could guarantee the President and Leo would be on their back until they set a date.
"Sooner rather than later, we were planning to talk about it tonight" Toby said quietly. CJ gave his hand a grateful squeeze.
"So how have you been feeling Claudia, over the morning sickness yet?" Elizabeth asked.
"Yeah I seem to have stopped spending most of my day in the ladies room, the pregnancy seems to have shifted into a new phase now" she smiled seductively at Toby.
"Oh God you and Toby are going to be having sex all the time aren't you?"
"What!!!!" all four adults said at the same time as they looked at a completely innocent looking Hogan.
"Well this baby is important to me - I want to be involved so, you know, I've been reading".
"We should never have sent her to school" David groaned looking at Elizabeth.
"Well you did and there's no going back now" Hogan smiled at her father. "Anyway as I was saying this baby is really important to me and I want it to know I'm it's sister, so CJ and Toby, if it's okay with you I am going to start calling you mom and dad".
Toby looked over at David thinking this would be killing the other man to have his daughter suddenly wanting to call another man dad. But he was surprised to see David smiling.
"Mom and dad thought it was a good idea. I know it will get a bit confusing but I figure you lot have six degrees between the four of you - if you cant work it out heaven help higher education".
"Well I would be honoured to have you call me dad" said Toby feeling a tear in his eye. As he looked over at CJ he could see tears streaming down her face as she smiled at Hogan.
Hogan and Toby smiled as they looked first at CJ and then at each other and said at the same time "hormones".
..................
"Toby...Toby" Carol called as he walked past. Not really wanting to know or caring what Carol had to tell him he turned to face her.
"What?" he sighed
"CJ's got a call from GW but she's in a briefing - you want to take it, or you want me to get her out?" she said.
If GW were calling CJ they may have bad news regarding the amnio, if that were the case he wanted the news to come from him not some faceless lab technician, she had been so stressed about the results he wanted to protect her as much as possible. "I'll take it" he said as he grabbed the phone from Carol.
Toby identified himself and as he listened to what the hospital worker was saying the blood drained from his face. He hung up the phone feeling like he was moving on autopilot "Get CJ out of the briefing NOW and let Leo know we'll both be out for the rest of the day".
He had no idea how he was going to tell her this, it was only two weeks ago all five of them had been laughing having dinner together and now because of some stupid drunk driver Elizabeth was dead and David and Hogan were fighting for their lives.
They made it to GW in record time. CJ was still numb from what Toby had told her. Elizabeth had died instantly. She would never see her sister in law again, Hogan had lost her mother.
The nurse took them straight through to David. CJ went straight to his side and gently took his hand in hers. The doctor pulled Toby aside and told him there was nothing they could do for David it was just a matter of time. Toby looked at CJ, his heart going out to her and what she was about to go through.
CJ leaned in close to David so she could be sure he heard her "Don't you dare die, your daughter needs you and I need you, you're my big brother, I need you to teach me how to be a good parent" tears streamed down her face.
His voice was a hoarse whisper, talking to her was taking what little energy he had left. "You always would have been a good parent Claudia" he tried to smile at her "you gave her to us when she was born now it's time to give her back, take care of her and tell.. her... I... love... her" he gasped as the final breath left his body. CJ put her head on his chest and cried until she felt Toby's hand drop gently to her shoulder.
"I need to see Hogan" she said forcefully as though gathering all her strength for what she had to do.
The nurse took them to Hogan's room explaining that she had been lucky and only had superficial wounds. CJ wondered at how losing both your parents could ever be considered a superficial wound but kept quiet.
They found the young girl lying on her bed staring at the ceiling. "Hogan?" CJ said quietly, not letting go of the death grip she had on Toby's hand.
"They're dead aren't they?" she said in a monotone voice.
"I'm so sorry honey, there was nothing they could do" details could come later. She moved to stroke Hogan's face but the girl rolled away from her. "Toby and I are here for you - you're not alone" she tried to console her but the teenager made no indication she had even heard CJ. "Well I guess you just want to be alone for a bit - you just let the nurse know if you want us otherwise we'll be back tonight".
There was still no response from Hogan. It was killing Toby to see the vibrant teenager shutting them out. He knew she needed to share her pain and he knew they were all about to face some major changes in their life he just hoped they were all up to it.
......................
CJ and Toby were now Hogan's legal guardians. Hogan however, had barely spoken to them since she was told of her parents death. The counsellor had told CJ and Toby this wasn't unusual especially with everything else she had gone through in the last few weeks. But that didn't stop both of them worrying about how she would adjust to living with them.
CJ spent the next week burying herself in work. She had insisted on organising the funerals herself and was planning to take two weeks off work when they bought Hogan home from hospital in a couple of days time.
"CJ what the hell do you think you're doing!" Toby exclaimed as he saw his pregnant fiancée standing on a chair reaching for a folder on the top shelf of her bookcase.
"God Toby you scared the crap outta me" she yelled at him as she climbed down having retrieved the folder "What did it look like I was doing, I was getting a folder".
"I'm sorry I scared you" he said sincerely "I just don't want you climbing on chairs when you're pregnant"
CJ sank into her desk chair with a look of shock on her face "I am aren't I, pregnant I mean, in everything that has happened you know I'd forgotten"
"Yeah you are" he walked over and kissed her on the forehead.
"So other than needing to yell at me" she smiled "whatya want?"
"I thought we could ring and get the amnio results" he said "they said they'd be ready today.
CJ looked at him, worry written all over her face. "I don't know if I can handle any more at the moment" she confessed "if there's something wrong....." she left the rest of the sentence unspoken.
Toby wrapped his arms around her wanting to shelter and protect her knowing she would never let him because she would never let herself be that vulnerable to anyone, even him.
"Do you want me to call?" he asked hoping she would let him take some of the weight from her shoulders.
"Yeah" she sighed.
As Toby listened to the doctor his face broke into a brilliant smile and CJ let out the breath she didn't even know she had been holding. "The baby is fine" he told her as he hung up the phone and pulled her into a tight embrace.
"And." CJ asked once he had finished kissing her.
"And what?" he grinned mischievously, knowing exactly what she was asking.
"You know what" she said.
"How much do you love me?"
"I love you enough not to choke you if you don't tell me in the next ten seconds.
Toby leaned in and whispered in her ear "a girl".
.......................
"Tell me again why we're all having dinner in the residence" Toby grumbled as they walked towards the Presidents private area.
""Because I'm about to go on two weeks leave and the President thought he was doing something nice by having the senior staff up for dinner" she sighed "he's probably going to want to grill us about when the wedding is - can you imagine how bad he would have been if he knew I was pregnant". She was exhausted and all she really wanted to do was go home and soak in a bubble bath and have Toby massage her feet.
"Speaking of which, we do need to discuss a wedding date and we do need to tell everyone you're pregnant" Toby said as he grasped her wrist and stopped her from walking.
"Toby, with everything that's happened and Hogan moving in we really can't have a wedding at the moment" she shut her eyes as she sighed and missed the look of disappointment on Toby's face. He wanted them married as soon as possible but he didn't want to add anymore stress to her life at the moment so he didn't push the issue. "As for telling everyone - we can do it tonight if you want. I can't do any of my clothes up so I doubt I'll be able to hide it by the time I get back to work" she sighed ruefully and Toby grinned "Don't get too happy there Pokey, one of the things I plan to do while I'm off is max out your credit card buying maternity clothes"
"What's wrong with maxing out your credit card, after all, they are clothes for you".
"The way I see it is, you got me into this condition oh virile one, the least you can do is pay for the new wardrobe"
"Up to your limit again CJ" he smiled knowing what the answer was, as she turned and walked towards the residence leaving him to smile at the way her ass was swaying - God he loved that woman even if she was the most fiscally irresponsible person he had ever known.
Half an hour later they were all seated at the dining table. CJ was pleased to see Abby was there - they didn't get to see each other socially much these days and CJ missed the older woman's frank brand of friendship.
The stewards began to serve the smoked salmon entrée and CJ took one look at the orange fish on her plate, turned green and announced she was going to be sick as she ran out of the room.
Everyone sat there staring at the door CJ ran out of for several seconds in stunned shock at her uncharacteristic actions. The President was the first to recover. He turned to Toby with a serious look on his face "Toby, is there any chance you may have gotten my Press Secretary pregnant?" he asked sternly.
Toby looked him in the eye "No" he said waiting a beat "but there's every chance I got my fiancé pregnant" he announced trying to subtly let the president know this was really none of his business.
The Presidents face had a thunderous look on it. He and Toby had always argued when it came to matters of principle and the Catholic President definitely felt this was a matter of principle.
"Well while you two prepare to duke it out over CJ's virtue I think I'll go and see how she is" Abby said hoping her words would diffuse the situation.
Before she could rise from the table CJ entered the room looking pale and before anyone could say anything she said to all of them but looked pointedly at the President "Yes I'm pregnant and yes we are very happy about it and no we have not set a date for the wedding and yes you will all know when we do" her eyes were defiant, daring the President to say any more on the topic.
She was rewarded with a smile. "Well then I believe congratulations are in order" he said as he kissed her cheek.
"Wow you've got like a whole person inside you" Josh said looking at her in amazement.
"Yeah" CJ smiled at him feeling the wonder of being pregnant for the first time, somehow it made it so much more real now that other people knew.
.......................
The next day they bought Hogan home from the hospital. The teenager had barely spoken since the accident and CJ was unsure how to deal with her.
They had converted their office to a room for Hogan and both saw the look of dismay on her face as they showed it to her. Toby knew she felt like a guest in the house and realised he and CJ were going to have to look for something bigger. Hogan was now a permanent part of their lives and they had a baby on the way - they absolutely needed a bigger house and soon.
Toby put his arm around the young girls shoulder and whispered in her ear "it's only temporary".
CJ spent two weeks trying to break through all the barriers Hogan had erected since the accident. They had been shopping, to the movies, they had even looked at few houses but nothing seemed to work. By the end of the second week CJ was at her wits end.
"I can't help you if you don't talk to me" CJ said gently but firmly.
Hogan spun around glaring at CJ "Did it ever occur to you I don't want your help" she yelled "I want my mom and dad back, my real mom and dad. It was fun to think of you and Toby as another set of parents while they were here but you can never replace them" she raged. CJ moved to take the girl in her arms. Hogan resisted at first and then sobbed into CJ's chest "I want my mom and dad back".
"I know, I know, I want them back too, but they're gone and we need to work out how we can move on without them" CJ consoled the girl in her arms wondering how they were going to do that. They sat there for over half an hour while Hogan cried for the first time.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you before, I really am grateful to you and Toby for taking me in" Hogan said once the sobs had subsided.
CJ looked at Hogan shocked "You have absolutely nothing to be grateful for. You are family, even if it is a bit of an unconventional one, there is nowhere else we would let you be. Toby and I love you very much and if at times it's all a bit overwhelming just remember that and we'll be okay".
"Thanks CJ" Hogan said as she dried her eyes. CJ noted she had stopped calling her mom the minute she heard Elizabeth had died and understood why, she was just glad Hogan was talking at all.
That night as CJ crawled into bed with Toby she told him of the afternoons conversation, he leaned over and kissed her forehead and whispered in her ear "welcome to motherhood".
.................
Three months later they had all settled into an uneasy existence together. They had found a house and moved which meant Hogan had her own room again and as CJ mentioned to Toby she seemed to spend most of her time in there. Toby told her to stop worrying and remember what it was like to be seventeen. CJ's response was to tell him that was exactly why she was worried.
"CJ I have Hogan's school on line one" Carol told her.
This can't be good CJ thought as she picked up the phone. The principal quickly told CJ the situation, Hogan had been caught smoking and as this was the third time, she had been suspended for a week.
"We'll be right there" CJ sighed hoping Toby was in his office, she had been feeling exhausted all week and really wasn't up to a confrontation with Hogan, Toby was much better at dealing with the teenager, he seemed to have a much easier relationship with her than she did.
The minute they were alone in the car CJ voiced her worries "What are we going to do, she barely speaks to me, she spends most of her time locked away in her bedroom - what if it's more than smoking what if she's doing drugs?"
"CJ calm down - she got caught smoking it's not the end of the world - she's a teenager who has been through a huge upheaval in the last few months she's testing us to see how far she can go before we reign her in"
"Well she can consider herself reigned!"
The drive home was silent. CJ was fuming that she had been made to feel like she was back in high school by having to sit in the principals office and listen to the woman tell her what she was doing wrong as a parent. Hogan was fuming because she had never been more embarrassed in her life having CJ and Toby march her out of school in the middle of lunch. And Toby sat there thinking how much alike the two women in his life were and prayed that his new daughter took after him.
The minute they walked through the front door CJ found her voice "Just what do you think you were doing young lady - smoking at school. Toby and I have had to take the afternoon off work to get you and now one of us is going to have to organise a week off work while you are suspended. I know you've been through a lot in the last couple of months and I have tried to help you but every time I speak to you you shut me out - well guess what - things are going to change around here"
Hogan spun around her eyes shining with anger "Okay if things are going to change, how about this for a change, how about I move out because I honestly think you wouldn't notice - you obviously don't want me here, I'm asleep when you get home from work and I'm still asleep when you leave in the morning - I miss doing stuff with my mom and dad on weekends - you are always at work you haven't made any effort to fit me into your life" she cried "what are you planning to do when this baby comes along - deliver it in the middle of a briefing - because if that's the case maybe you should start looking for someone to give her away to" Hogan sobbed as she ran from the room leaving a stunned CJ looking after her.
CJ was under no illusions that the whole speech had been aimed at her and she began to shake uncontrollably. Toby moved to try and comfort her. He was torn between comforting the woman he loved and going to his daughter who was obviously hurting far deeper than any of them had thought.
CJ shrugged him off and told him to go to Hogan. She sat on the couch and the tears began to roll down her face, knowing there was an element of truth to everything Hogan had said, she really was a lousy mother and, as she put her hand on her huge stomach, she thought she was about to screw up another life.
.....................
Things were very strained for the next month. CJ had no idea how to relate to Hogan. Every time she tried to talk to her Hogan gave her the cold shoulder. It hadn't made things any easier when Leo insisted Toby take the week off for Hogan's suspension. He didn't have as much on as CJ and he could work from home.
This just seemed to reinforce everything Hogan had said about CJ putting her career above her family and it didn't help when CJ began to think Hogan was right. She had no idea how she was going to juggle her job and a baby and she was beginning to think maybe she couldn't.
All the stress of her home life was beginning to take it's toll. Toby had tried to talk to her but she was shutting him out - he knew it wasn't intentional, it was just her way of coping, but when she passed out after giving a briefing he knew something had to be done so he called in reinforcements.
Abby appeared at CJ's door the next afternoon and told her she was there to kidnap her for a girly afternoon in the residence.
"Sorry Abby I have a ton of work to get through"
"Nonsense I have cleared this with Leo and quite frankly if you don't get your belly and you butt up to the residence in ten minutes my husband will fire you" she joked but CJ knew better than to argue.
Once they were seated and been served afternoon tea Abby began to speak "CJ you look terrible, Toby tells me you're barely eating and Hogan has been giving you a really hard time - why haven't you come to talk to me?"
CJ sighed "I have thought about it ma'am....wait Toby told you I haven't been eating - I gonna kill him" she fumed.
"Calm down there girl - he came to me because he was worried about you and frankly, so is everybody else who works with you. You won't talk to him so he was hoping you might talk to me".
CJ sat there with her best press secretary face on, trying not to cry but eventually the tears began to stream down her face "Oh Abby everything is such a mess" and she told Abby everything that had been going on, from Hogan being her and Toby's daughter to Hogan's raging at her about how her work comes first and that she is going to be a rotten mother to this baby.
"Well now that you're done feeling sorry for yourself let's see what we can do about the situation" Abby said frankly. CJ looked at her through teary eyes and smiled for the first time in weeks.
"For a start, forget what Hogan said - she's seventeen and was in a snit about being suspended, I can guarantee she probably only said most of it to get a rise out of you" CJ began to protest but Abby silenced her "trust me I've been through this three times"
"I'd love to forget what she said, the trouble is a lot of it was pretty accurate" CJ said quietly "I have been putting my work first and I don't have any idea how I'm going to juggle this job and a baby".
"Well lets deal with the easy part first - you'll take as much time as you want after the baby is born then, when you come back to work, you will hire a nanny and there will be a nursery set up here and there will be enough people around to help you whenever you need it - trust me we all know you're value to this administration, we are going to do everything in our power to make this work"
"Thankyou" CJ said simply as the knot in her stomach began to unravel.
"Now as for Hogan - CJ she just wants to know where she fits in with you and Toby. She needs to know she is loved and part of a family. Sure, you could probably try and be home with her a bit more, maybe spend a bit less time here on weekends but the thing that would work the best would be if you and Toby quit dancing around a date and just got married" CJ looked up at her friends sharp tone.
"Sorry?"
"Oh you heard me - get married, become a family - let her know she belongs"
"Abby I'm six months pregnant Toby and I just assumed we would wait until after the baby came"
"You may have assumed that but I think you should have a long talk with your fiancée - and soon."
It took a minute for what Abby had said to sink in "Oh murder is too good for him, why the hell didn't he talk to me!"
"CJ, honey, you haven't exactly been approachable lately and he probably thought he was doing the right thing by keeping quiet on the subject".
"Oh trust me Toby Zeigler and I are about to have a long talk and I can guarantee there isn't going to be anything quiet about it".
.....................
CJ stalked past Josh with a murderous expression on her face. Josh breathed a sigh of relief, glad that he wasn't on the receiving end of her anger for once.
She walked straight to Toby's office and slammed the door behind her causing him to jump.
"What can I do for you sweetheart" he said sweetly, hoping he wasn't about to get chewed out for something.
"Don't you sweetheart me you lily livered coward - why the hell didn't you tell me you wanted to get married before I give birth to this watermelon!"
"First, I object to you referring to our daughter as a watermelon and second, think of what you have been through in the last six months - do you really think I would add to all the strain you've been under by telling you I want a wedding". He gently rubbed his hands up and down her arms in a soothing motion.
"Toby there is a big difference between getting married and having a wedding - you're right I couldn't organise a wedding, but you know if you just wanted to go somewhere and get married - well lets just say I think it would be a good thing for all of us".
Toby's face lit up like a child on Christmas morning, and CJ felt a wave of guilt wash over her that she had been so absorbed in her own problems that she had no idea how much it meant to him to be married before the baby came. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply.
"What was that for?" he asked shocked, usually they tried to keep displays of affection out of the office.
"Just to tell you how much I love you" she smiled at him, her features more relaxed than he had seen in a long time. As she was walking out of his office she turned to him "you know for two people who make a living working in communications we really sucked at it on this one".
Later that day CJ and Toby were both called to the Oval Office to be greeted by the President and First Lady.
"CJ, Toby, come sit down" the President commanded. CJ and Toby looked at each other questioningly not knowing why they were there. "CJ, Abby told me about your talk this afternoon and I assume from the rumours I've heard about screaming coming from Toby's office that you two have sorted this out"
"Yes sir - Toby and I are planning to get married as soon as we can" CJ answered on behalf of both of them, mildly embarrassed that her yelling had been overheard.
"Good, good always like to see a wedding certificate before the kids"
"Yeah about that sir" Toby began not sure how much CJ had told Abby about Hogan "well you see sir CJ and I go back a long way as you know, and well CJ's niece Hogan is actually our daughter. It's a long story that I don't think CJ wants to get into right now" he said taking her hand in his and seeing the appreciative smile on her face and therefore missing the outraged expression on the Presidents.
"God Toby where the hell is your sense of responsibility, are there anymore children in your past or have you managed to limit yourself to just getting CJ pregnant?" the President raged.
"With all due respect sir, I didn't know Hogan was my daughter until recently an believe me when I say CJ is the only person I ever plan to get pregnant"
"Well then the Rose garden in two weeks" Abby announced "give a list of guests to Lily and I'll get everything organised"
CJ smiled, if she had known getting married would be this easy she would have done it months ago.
They told Hogan about the wedding that night and the teenager showed more enthusiasm than she had for anything in months.
"Finally we're going to be a proper family" she said as she hugged them both.
That night as CJ crawled into bed beside Toby and moved into his warm embrace she whispered "I'm sorry" in his ear.
"Sorry, sorry for what?" he asked confused.
"For making everybody miserable because I wouldn't set a wedding date, sorry for being as self absorbed as Hogan, sorry for not seeing that the two people I love most were hurting because of me"
"CJ you have nothing to be sorry for - you were grieving just like Hogan was, yes she lost her parents but you lost a brother and we got thrown together as a family before any of us had a chance to get over that. We've been muddling through, but I feel like we're coming out of it now and we're going to be okay" he reassured her.
"I love you - watermelon here, is one lucky baby to have you as a father"
Toby gently caressed her stomach "Now what have I told you about calling her a watermelon - she's at least the size of a basketball" he laughed into her neck and began to run his hand up CJ's thigh.
In a room down the hall Hogan heard the laughing and thought to herself, they're at it again - it really would be a miracle if she didn't end up with half a dozen brothers and sisters - and she smiled at the thought.
.....................
It was raining. Of course it was raining CJ thought, it was her wedding day and with everything they had been through in the last few months it seemed almost poetic that it should be bucketing down on the day she and Toby were finally to become man and wife.
CJ, Toby and Hogan had spent the night at the residence so they didn't have to rush around and so the press couldn't get so much as a glimpse of the big day.
There had been a fair amount of media attention since CJ threw the news of her and Toby's wedding out with the trash the previous Friday but Abby was determined to keep it a private affair and had gone as far as instructing the secret service to arrest any member of the press who ventured near the wedding.
"Oh CJ it's raining on your wedding day!" Hogan said with dismay as she entered the room.
"You know, I really don't care" she said with complete honesty "I've waited nearly twenty years to marry that adorable, uptight pain in the ass and I'm not going to let a little rain ruin my day" she told Hogan grinning from ear to ear.
"Ooookaay" Hogan said slowly "but you know they're talking flooding, some of the guests may not make it"
"Sweetie, as long as you and Toby are here I really don't care who else makes it". She hugged Hogan to her amazed at the difference in the girl since they decided to get married.
"CJ, I just wanted to say..." she stopped mid sentence, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yeah"
"Did the baby just kick me?"
"Yep"
"Wow - does it hurt when she does that?"
"Not when she kicks like that - when she decides to do yoga at three am it's a different story - her favourite position, 'feet in mommy's lung' hurts like hell".
"It's just hit me that my baby sister is in there" she said resting her hand on CJ's stomach. "I'm sorry I've been such a bitch to you over the last few months - I've said some horrible things to you and I really don't know how you've forgiven me but you have and I want you to know I love you".
CJ hugged her daughter tighter "there is nothing to forgive - you were hurting - I understand that, I was hurting too. I'm just so relieved you are finally talking to me again - I missed you kiddo"
"I missed you too" Hogan said as her eyes started to tear up.
"Is this just a girly thing or can I join in?" Toby asked as he entered the room.
"Toby!" Hogan yelled "Get out you can't see CJ before the wedding"
"Hogan, honey, where do you think I slept last night?" he said slowly.
It took a moment for his words to sink in "God, can't you two even keep your hands off each other the night before your wedding?" she laughed "what happened to tradition?"
"Well there was you, and this little one" he said rubbing CJ's stomach "tradition pretty much went out the window after that"
"Well it looks like I'll have to be the traditional one in the family - Toby get out, CJ and I have to get ready"
"Toby smiled over Hogan's head at CJ, they were both touched at her use of the word family. "Yes boss".
...............
The rain had stopped by the time the ceremony began and it left a shimmer on the roses that would look spectacular in the photos.
Toby couldn't believe how beautiful CJ looked, big belly and all. He didn't care that she threatened him with death if there was even one photo of her below the neck - she looked radiant and glowing and all the other clichés he thought people made up to describe pregnant women.
The ceremony went off without a hitch and in front of their forty guests CJ and Toby finally became man and wife.
Abby had organised a sit down reception for them and the President insisted on making a speech.
"I promise I'll keep this brief" he began and everyone in the room groaned knowing the President had no idea how to speak briefly "I just want to say that CJ you make a beautiful bride and I'm sure Toby doesn't deserve you but if anyone can keep him in line it's you - I wish you both much happiness. I believe Hogan would like to say a few words."
Hogan rose and began nervously but it soon became obvious she had inherited her mother's poise in front of a crowd.
"Not many of you know CJ and Toby are my parents" she paused briefly to let this sink in "in fact I only found out recently myself, but I just wanted to tell you all how proud I am to be their daughter and how much I love them both. I haven't been the easiest person to live with for the past few months but regardless of what I have said and done they have been there for me. So I just want to let them know as my honeymoon gift I won't be there for them, so guys, make as much noise as you want - I'll be home on Monday!" she raised her glass as she finished and everybody burst out laughing as Toby and CJ sat there plotting ways to murder their offspring.
..............................
After the wedding things had changed dramatically for the Zeigler family. CJ and Toby had made a concentrated effort to spend less time at work and more time at home. Hogan had begun calling them mom and dad again and had decided to add Zeigler as a second last name. She had told them it was so the baby wouldn't be confused when she was growing up but CJ and Toby both knew it had helped to make her feel part of the family.
CJ went on maternity leave three weeks before her due date. She thought she would be more depressed about leaving her job, even for a short period of time but knowing she would be back helped and she found she was looking forward to spending the next three months at home being a wife and mother.
...............................
It had been a long and exhausting fourteen hours of labour. But as she cradled her baby daughter in her arms she knew it was worth it.
Toby had wanted to rush her to the hospital the minute she told him about the contractions - she'd known he'd be like that which was why she hadn't told him about them for the first three hours.
By the time CJ was having trouble breathing through the contractions she agreed it was time for them to wake Hogan and head to the hospital. Hogan had asked after the wedding if she could be present at the birth and they had both been enthusiastic. Toby thought it would be a great bonding experience for Hogan to see the birth of her sister, CJ had thought it would be a great way to put Hogan off ever having sex.
CJ knew she couldn't have done it without Toby - he held her hand throughout the whole labour and only moved from her side long enough to cut the cord. As they handed the baby to CJ, Toby walked over to Hogan and put his hands on her shoulders. She was still holding CJ's hand like she never wanted to let go of this moment.
"So, you got your wish big sister" Toby said as he dropped a kiss on the top of her head.
Hogan couldn't take her eyes off CJ "I can't believe you did that - you were in so much pain and now. now we have this beautiful little baby"
CJ eyed the baby critically "She is beautiful - she looks just like you did"
"Really?" tears shone in Hogan's eyes.
"Oh yeah - I'm so glad you were here to see this"
"You only wanted me to see it so I wouldn't have sex and get pregnant" the teenager laughed.
"God you are like me, you can read my mind" CJ laughed looking at Toby and then turned to Hogan and said with mock seriousness "so did it work?"
"Oh yeah - you don't have to worry about becoming grandparents for a long while yet".
Later that night CJ and Toby went to the nursery to visit their baby daughter. It had been an exhausting day, not only had they bought a new person into the world they had then had to show her off to the entire West Wing staff who had made their way to the hospital throughout the day.
As they entered the nursery they stopped at the sight before them. Hogan was sitting in one of the chairs cuddling the baby and talking to her softly. Toby and CJ could just make out what she was saying.
"You know you're one lucky little baby Claire Zeigler, you get to be part of the best family in the world, we're a bit weird but trust me you wouldn't want it any other way. I got to grow up with a cool Aunt CJ - you get to have her as a mother and get to have me as a cool big sister. We couldn't ask for better parents". She dropped little kisses on the baby's head. Toby and CJ were so moved by what Hogan had said they moved over to her and before she knew they were even there they had wrapped her in a tight embrace.
"We love you too kiddo" Toby said gazing at his two daughters.
"We love you too" Hogan told him "but be warned, Claire and I have already begun plotting how we can keep you two on your toes" she laughed.
"I don't doubt it" Toby sighed ruefully.
The End
