D-Daphne
V-Velma
F-Fred
L-Lucy
S-Sabrina
(Open to bar-like area, V and D are sipping on Diet Pepsis, L is tending the bar.)
D: Men are pigs. (Takes sip.)
V: Fred problems again? (Sips drink.)
D: I mean he just fell for her, almost. I felt ignored and jealous, which made me mad because I was so over him, or so I thought. I am going to be an old maid!
V: Maybe she was giving off some kind of pheromone or something. And maybe you aren't over Fred.
D: That's a load of crap and you know it. We broke up six moths ago for the fourth time. I mean, if we've broken up four times, what does that say?
V: Well, the first three times don't count. We were too young then.
D: But what about this time? I still love him, Velma.
V: You just have to trust in love.
L: (Coming over to them.) Drowning your love life in soda?
D: I am, Velma is here for support.
L: Try some of the stronger stuff. (Hands D a Pepsi.) On the house. Trust me, Pepsi is the best thing to drink when you have a broken heart. I should know, been there four times. Been to the alter four times too. My name's Lucy.
D: Daphne, pleasure to meet you. (Sighs.) I am cursed. I am cursed. (Takes swig of Pepsi.) Whoa. Seriously, Fred and I are like rubber bands. We pull apart, snap together, pull apart, snap together, and we can't stop this vicious cycle.
L: Honey, tell me about this Fred, and what did he do?
D: Well . . .
(Flashback to a few days ago, the gang is at a restaurant talking, waitress comes up to them.)
S: So, what are you going to have?
D: Just water.
F: Give me a Pepsi. (Turns back to D as other's order.) So, Daph, about our breakup.
D: Fred, I am still reeling from it.
F: Yeah, I know it was mean of me, and I am sorry. I shouldn't have done that to you.
D: You're right you shouldn't have.
F: Well, I just want to apologize because I am honestly and truthfully very sorry, and I want-
S: Here are your drinks.
F: Thank you, (Looks at her badge.) Sabrina.
S: Oh my gosh, you are Fred Jones! Oh wow, can I get my camera for a second?
F: Sure.
S: Thank you so much! (Runs off, comes back with a digital camera and another waitress.) Okay, Celia, take the picture.
F: Are you ready? (Smiles, puts his arm around S's shoulders.)
S: Just smile for the camera. (Kisses him, gets on F's lap and he can't escape. D is furious.)
D: (Pulls S away.) Get off him, Tramp.
S: Oh, who are you, his mother? You look old enough to be his grandma.
F: (Laughs at joke.) That was enjoyable, ladies.
D: Fred, I can't believe you!
F: Daphne! I was kidding! (D stalks off.)
S: That your girlfriend?
F: Well, I don't think she'll want to be after this. (Sighs, begins to get up.)
S: Let her blow off steam. (Touches his arm.) Oh my gosh you are strong!
F: Well, I do work out.
(Zoom over to D in doorway, see S flirting with F.)
D: I can't believe him. I can't. (Runs out crying.)
(Cut back to bar.)
L: That's rough.
D: I thought we were moving forward in our relationship, and then we went on this cruise, and well, I haven't spoken to him since.
L: Oh honey, you gotta talk to him. Did he try to apologize?
D: I don't know. He called my house every five minutes until blocked his number. He gave up after I blocked his cell, Shaggy's number, Velma's, and his parent's.
L: You sure went through a lot of trouble to avoid him.
V: It gets worse.
L: No.
D: Unfortunately, yes. After two weeks of me blocking his calls, he came to my house every day for another week until I threatened to file a restraining order.
L: You should have confronted him the day that mess happened.
D: I know, I'm not usually one to run away from a problem, especially one involving Fred, and I did.
L: Honey, you ran because you wanted him to stop you.
D: As much as I hate to admit it, you're right.
V: So, what do you think we ought to do Lucy?
D: Please, she doesn't care about our love lives.
L: Sure I do. I don't want you to end up the way I did. One husband shot in the line of duty, he was a police officer, two killed themselves, and the last one went over during Desert Storm and has never been found. No trace of him. No body, no dog tag, no nothing. They think he's wandering around a town somewhere with amnesia.
D: That is so sad.
L: Don't worry your pretty little head about it. Now, I think you need to have a talk with Fred. (Looks up.) Here he comes now.
D: I can't. (Looks at F.) No.
V: Go on Daph, you can do it. Just don't make it too easy on him.
L: Go on, Honey. (Winks.)
(D walks off towards door.)
L: So, Velma, any special boy problems?
V: No, I my boyfriend's name is Ethan and things ... . . (Fades off as D walks.)
F: Daph! (Tries to stop her, D pushes past him.) Daphne!
D: Go away Fred. (Walks out of bar, Camera follows.)
(Ext. of boat, D is leaning on a railing.)
F: Daphne, please, stop giving me the cold shoulder.
D: I am not talking to you.
F: Fine, then listen. (Sighs.) Daph, I didn't mean for anything to happen the way it did that day. I know I did some things to hurt you, but it really didn't start out as much. I was just trying to see if you would get jealous, because it's the ultimate compliment for a couple, and you did. I was trying to make myself stop there, but I don't know what happened . . . my brain just clouded up and I found myself flirting with her. Once I snapped out of it, you were gone. I am so sorry I hurt you, I didn't mean any of it.
D: Just go away, Fred. (Turns head so he can't see her tears.)
F: Fine. (Walks off.)
D: Fred, wait. (Looks up at him.) Please, don't walk off.
F: Daph, why are you crying? (Hugs her.)
D: I forgive you Fred. I'm sorry I gave you the cold shoulder. (Holds him close.)
F: Let's say we put this past month behind us and never think of it again. (Kisses her forehead.)
D: Okay. (Kiss briefly.) Fred, I . . .
F: Don't talk, okay? (Kisses her again (Longer kiss this time).)
End
(Open to bar-like area, V and D are sipping on Diet Pepsis, L is tending the bar.)
D: Men are pigs. (Takes sip.)
V: Fred problems again? (Sips drink.)
D: I mean he just fell for her, almost. I felt ignored and jealous, which made me mad because I was so over him, or so I thought. I am going to be an old maid!
V: Maybe she was giving off some kind of pheromone or something. And maybe you aren't over Fred.
D: That's a load of crap and you know it. We broke up six moths ago for the fourth time. I mean, if we've broken up four times, what does that say?
V: Well, the first three times don't count. We were too young then.
D: But what about this time? I still love him, Velma.
V: You just have to trust in love.
L: (Coming over to them.) Drowning your love life in soda?
D: I am, Velma is here for support.
L: Try some of the stronger stuff. (Hands D a Pepsi.) On the house. Trust me, Pepsi is the best thing to drink when you have a broken heart. I should know, been there four times. Been to the alter four times too. My name's Lucy.
D: Daphne, pleasure to meet you. (Sighs.) I am cursed. I am cursed. (Takes swig of Pepsi.) Whoa. Seriously, Fred and I are like rubber bands. We pull apart, snap together, pull apart, snap together, and we can't stop this vicious cycle.
L: Honey, tell me about this Fred, and what did he do?
D: Well . . .
(Flashback to a few days ago, the gang is at a restaurant talking, waitress comes up to them.)
S: So, what are you going to have?
D: Just water.
F: Give me a Pepsi. (Turns back to D as other's order.) So, Daph, about our breakup.
D: Fred, I am still reeling from it.
F: Yeah, I know it was mean of me, and I am sorry. I shouldn't have done that to you.
D: You're right you shouldn't have.
F: Well, I just want to apologize because I am honestly and truthfully very sorry, and I want-
S: Here are your drinks.
F: Thank you, (Looks at her badge.) Sabrina.
S: Oh my gosh, you are Fred Jones! Oh wow, can I get my camera for a second?
F: Sure.
S: Thank you so much! (Runs off, comes back with a digital camera and another waitress.) Okay, Celia, take the picture.
F: Are you ready? (Smiles, puts his arm around S's shoulders.)
S: Just smile for the camera. (Kisses him, gets on F's lap and he can't escape. D is furious.)
D: (Pulls S away.) Get off him, Tramp.
S: Oh, who are you, his mother? You look old enough to be his grandma.
F: (Laughs at joke.) That was enjoyable, ladies.
D: Fred, I can't believe you!
F: Daphne! I was kidding! (D stalks off.)
S: That your girlfriend?
F: Well, I don't think she'll want to be after this. (Sighs, begins to get up.)
S: Let her blow off steam. (Touches his arm.) Oh my gosh you are strong!
F: Well, I do work out.
(Zoom over to D in doorway, see S flirting with F.)
D: I can't believe him. I can't. (Runs out crying.)
(Cut back to bar.)
L: That's rough.
D: I thought we were moving forward in our relationship, and then we went on this cruise, and well, I haven't spoken to him since.
L: Oh honey, you gotta talk to him. Did he try to apologize?
D: I don't know. He called my house every five minutes until blocked his number. He gave up after I blocked his cell, Shaggy's number, Velma's, and his parent's.
L: You sure went through a lot of trouble to avoid him.
V: It gets worse.
L: No.
D: Unfortunately, yes. After two weeks of me blocking his calls, he came to my house every day for another week until I threatened to file a restraining order.
L: You should have confronted him the day that mess happened.
D: I know, I'm not usually one to run away from a problem, especially one involving Fred, and I did.
L: Honey, you ran because you wanted him to stop you.
D: As much as I hate to admit it, you're right.
V: So, what do you think we ought to do Lucy?
D: Please, she doesn't care about our love lives.
L: Sure I do. I don't want you to end up the way I did. One husband shot in the line of duty, he was a police officer, two killed themselves, and the last one went over during Desert Storm and has never been found. No trace of him. No body, no dog tag, no nothing. They think he's wandering around a town somewhere with amnesia.
D: That is so sad.
L: Don't worry your pretty little head about it. Now, I think you need to have a talk with Fred. (Looks up.) Here he comes now.
D: I can't. (Looks at F.) No.
V: Go on Daph, you can do it. Just don't make it too easy on him.
L: Go on, Honey. (Winks.)
(D walks off towards door.)
L: So, Velma, any special boy problems?
V: No, I my boyfriend's name is Ethan and things ... . . (Fades off as D walks.)
F: Daph! (Tries to stop her, D pushes past him.) Daphne!
D: Go away Fred. (Walks out of bar, Camera follows.)
(Ext. of boat, D is leaning on a railing.)
F: Daphne, please, stop giving me the cold shoulder.
D: I am not talking to you.
F: Fine, then listen. (Sighs.) Daph, I didn't mean for anything to happen the way it did that day. I know I did some things to hurt you, but it really didn't start out as much. I was just trying to see if you would get jealous, because it's the ultimate compliment for a couple, and you did. I was trying to make myself stop there, but I don't know what happened . . . my brain just clouded up and I found myself flirting with her. Once I snapped out of it, you were gone. I am so sorry I hurt you, I didn't mean any of it.
D: Just go away, Fred. (Turns head so he can't see her tears.)
F: Fine. (Walks off.)
D: Fred, wait. (Looks up at him.) Please, don't walk off.
F: Daph, why are you crying? (Hugs her.)
D: I forgive you Fred. I'm sorry I gave you the cold shoulder. (Holds him close.)
F: Let's say we put this past month behind us and never think of it again. (Kisses her forehead.)
D: Okay. (Kiss briefly.) Fred, I . . .
F: Don't talk, okay? (Kisses her again (Longer kiss this time).)
End
