Depressed
JJ sat on his bed, staring at his walls and the decorations that hung there: the Notre Dame pennant, the picture of him and Beth, him and his racecar, President Kennedy. His gaze shifted toward Will's side. His younger brother's toys lined the walls on shelves, and the small family portrait rested on his bedside table. JJ sat dreaming of his life, his loving family, his friends and of Beth.
He wondered what they were all doing that very moment. Meg was probably at Bandstand; she practically lived there. He knew his mom was at Will's school with Will. Patty was over a friend's house and his dad was at the shop. He was all alone, which was usual for him lately. He'd sit in his room and read or sit in the family room and watch television. He didn't have football, track, or a girlfriend. Beth was happy with her new boy, James what's-his-face… as long as that guy treated her right. If he didn't… well JJ didn't know what he would do.
JJ laid back and starred at his ceiling. What was he supposed to do with his life? He couldn't go to college, not without that football scholarship anyways. He didn't have a girlfriend, anymore and no job because he couldn't walk very well still. All he had left was his family and school. Even school wasn't going very good. He tried and tried, but it just wasn't going very well. He wondered if anyone was thinking about him, probably not. His family had their own problems and Beth. Beth was probably thinking of that new guy. Not him. Not the ex.
JJ tried unsuccessfully to blink back tears. He finally gave up and let them fall.
"Why?!" he moaned softly. "Why me?" JJ sobbed uncontrollably. The salt water fell in droplets down his cheeks, leaving salty trails behind.
He suddenly sat up again and starred at his bed. The worn, green and blue comforter was rustled from his tossing and turning. He heard the phone downstairs ringing. It was too far away and he didn't want to get up. JJ searched the covers nervously and found the shiny, metal object he was looking for. He held it in his hand, running his fingers up and down. The smooth, cold surface was like ice on the pond in the winter. So cold and unfeeling. He looked once more at the note on his bedside table.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know another way out. Please forgive me. I love you all. Tell Beth that I'm sorry. I really do love her very much. She just doesn't understand. Meg: thanks for being there. I wish you could've helped me. Thank you. Mom, dad, Patty and Will, I'm sorry. Please don't think this is your fault. I just couldn't deal anymore. I love you all forever.
Love always,
JJ Pryor"
JJ took the metal object and placed it against his forehead. JJ took a few deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out. His finger lay on the trigger.
"I love you all. Please forgive me."
The one loud gunshot echoed throughout the neighborhood. It was literally the shot heard 'round the world.
AN: This is an edit of this ONESHOT. I do not own American Dreams.
I want to clarify that I am in no way supporting suicide. I wrote this many years ago. If you are even considering suicide, please speak find someone to talk to: a friend, family member or a professional. There is always another way.
