HI! I'm really, really sorry that you've had to wait so long for this chapter but I have had a TON of work to do recently and have suffered writers block on this chapter. I've rewritten it at least three times! OK, the first section of this is rather disturbing, I think, and is written in Hermione's POV, a first for this story but a few people have asked for it in their reviews. I hope you enjoy it!
Katharos.
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A soft sigh caught her attention and Hermione glanced up from the heavy book she was reading. A frown creased her brow as she looked at her friend. Harry was curled up on a window seat in the common room, his legs tucked under his body, his chin resting on his hand. The flickering orange light from the fire played over his body creating convoluted shadows on his body as his green eyes stared out unseeing into the darkening dusk towards the black stain of the Forbidden Forest.
Hermione bit her lip, unable to prevent the slight shiver that ran down her spine as she looked at him. 'This is ridiculous,' she told herself firmly. 'He's your friend, there's nothing…' And yet sometimes, recently, she had been unable to ignore the brief flash of fear she sometimes felt when she looked at her dear friend, her brother. Like now. She stared at him as the half moon's light painted his face in silver, his green eyes seeming to glow with a strange luminescence. He looked unworldly. Ethereal.
A pain in her hands made Hermione look down in surprise. She had been gripping her book, the hard edges cutting into her palms and leaving red marks as she forced herself to relax her hands. She glanced up again. Harry hadn't moved, his silent regard of the twilight unchanged. Hermione frowned, hating this feeling that made her fear a friend, that couldn't be explained by logic or reason. And yet… She couldn't dismiss what made her spine crawl and something primal and ancient scream deep within her scream a warning. She shifted on the couch and Harry's head snapped up, glowing green eyes fixed on her and she froze, feeling like prey caught in the unflinching regard of a predator, who remained unmoving in the hope that this threat would pass by.
And then Harry smiled and relaxed and he was her friend again and she smiled back and released her book once more and she buried her thoughts and her fears deep inside herself where she couldn't see them and ignored the instincts that screamed, a hold over from a time when there were only predators and prey, the wolf that hunted and the weak humans who cowered and hid and ran.
For she was a product of this modern age and for all that she was a witch she dismissed the fears that her ancestors had known, the instincts that had kept them alive. And she had faith in a friend who had lost all faith in himself.
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Harry sat in the hospital wing- a place with which he was too familiar - tense and nervous, his hands kneading together. He glanced up as Madam Pomfrey walked in, followed by Snape, who glanced away as soon as he felt Harry's eyes on him. Harry knew that Snape still felt guilty about what had happened to him, strange, really, when he thought about Snape's attitude to him before this year. He didn't blame the Potions Professor- not really. But still he couldn't completely banish he anger that stirred in him now whenever he saw the man, and his eyes followed him as Snape carefully placed the steaming goblet of Potion down on the table. Harry took a deep breath, rubbing his arms that suddenly prickled as if with cold- despite the fact that the Hospital wing was nicely warm even though it was early March and still cold outside- and eyed the goblet nervously.
"Go on, Harry," Madam Pomfrey said quietly. "We need to be sure you won't have a bad reaction to it." Harry reached out hesitantly and picked it up, cradling the heavy goblet with both hands and staring down at the viscous liquid. He remembered when he had first seen this particular potion, when Snape had brought it to Lupin the day before the full moon. He remembered he had thought it poison. He rotated the goblet gently, watching the dark potion slop against its sides. Wolfsbane. But his hope. He shifted uncomfortably feeling the two pairs of eyes on him, then with a quick, almost convulsive movement he lifted the goblet and gulped it down, hurriedly, before he lost his nerve.
His immediate thought was that Lupin had been right-it tasted disgusting. Harry made a face but continued choking it down until at last he had finished and he set the goblet down where it stood, smoking slightly. Harry looked hopefully up at Madam Pomfrey who was regarding him worriedly, trying not to gag as he felt the potion running through him, as if reaching to the very tips of his fingers. He imagined that if you could feel your blood running through your veins, this is what it would feel like. He ran his tongue around his mouth, trying to get rid of the bitter aftertaste.
"Could I have a glass of water, please?" he asked. Madam Pomfrey glanced at Snape, who nodded curtly, before she walked across to the sink and poured him a glass. Harry accepted it gratefully, swallowing it in great gulps, trying to get the disgusting taste out of his mouth, at the same time trying to still his tremors. This Potion was his hope, with the chance it offered for control, for reassurance that he wouldn't kill, wouldn't pass this curse onto another, no matter that he could feel the beast moving within him, even at the dark of the moon. Sirius' and Remus' lights had been bright red last night, and he had stayed up till past midnight watching them, waiting, for them to grow green once more; or to go out all together. He had fallen asleep at last when the lights had changed from an angry red to a soothing green. Madam Pomfrey was speaking and he forced himself to listen.
"Are you all right, Harry?" Madam Pomfrey asked. "You don't feel hot or anything?" Harry shook his head.
"I feel fine," he said. Madam Pomfrey glanced at Snape.
"If there are going to be complications, they'll appear in the first few minutes," Snape said shortly. "Either then, or when he actually transforms." Madam Pomfrey nodded.
"Alright then, Harry," she said. "You can go back to your classes now. But come to the Shrieking Shack tonight." Harry nodded and stood up, grabbing hold of his bag as he made his way out of the hospital wing, afraid to hope. Afraid that if he did, his hopes would only be dashed. He felt Snape's eyes on him as he hurried from the Hospital Wing and knew that Snape also hoped, hoped to gain a kind of redemption from this.
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Harry dropped down into the tunnel, landing with a thud. Above him the swish and crack of the Whomping Willow started up again as Madam Pomfrey moved away. Harry took a deep breath and started along the passage, forcing himself to hurry, trying to ignore the knowledge of what waited for him at the end, knowledge that sat heavily in his mind. At last he reached the end and hauled himself up through the trap door and swung it shut with a clang. Then he had nothing to do but wait. And think. Harry paced back and forth, worrying at his lip as his eyes darted around the dark Shack. He felt torn, fearing the change, and almost wanting it to come. Harry stopped, forcing himself to stand still and stared up at the night sky through the cracks in the boards covering one of the windows. The complete loss of control, his mind completely submerged by a viscous and animal hunger that he was unable to prevent… that was the true horror of this curse to him. Harry sank down onto the floor, arms hugging his knees tightly. He was so afraid, afraid that this hope would be shattered, that the Potion wouldn't work. That nothing would change. He stared up at the stars visible through the cracks with unseeing eyes and waited.
When the moon rose and the change swept over him, the wolf shape being pulled out of him by the same pull that moved the tides Harry arched his back and screamed. Convulsion racked his body as his bones and flesh twisted, reshaping him. As the changes ceased and spasms still racked his body Harry braced himself for horrific moment when his mind would slip away, submerged by dark and primal urges and no matter how hard he tried, no matter how strong his will nothing he could do could prevent it. As always Harry hung grimly onto his mind, too stubborn to just surrender, no matter how futile it might be. But now… Harry felt a dawning sense of wonder. The darkness was still there, the blood lust, as it always was even in the light of day. But this time his sense and reason, his humanity remained and Harry flung back his wolf head and let loose a howl of pure joy, a vast wave of relief crashing over him no matter the darkness that stirred restlessly still pounding against the barriers for his identity remained. He was himself!
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R&R if you don't want another long wait!
(Blackmail, I know, but still…)
